Beware of Sexual Contact

[RnB 0]

Before I start, let me make it clear that I have never (or don't remember) ever reading anything here on VJ regarding this, hence, the total shock I had when I was met with this setback today.

This afternoon, I went back to St. Luke's for my sputum culture result. I was very optimistic that I'd finally get done with my medical exam because it has already been 9 weeks since I underwent the dreaded 3-day sputum collection and I didn't get the much-more-dreaded "early call" which most often signals a positive result. So I went and after almost an hour, I was finally called to the immunization room - doctor's interview (or something like that). After the basic questions, this exchange followed:

Dr: When did your last menstruation start?

Me: September 14.

Dr: When did it end?

Me: September 18.

Dr: Any sexual contact since then?

Me: Just once. Last night. My husband just arrived from the US, ma'am.

Dr: (looks at the computer then her desk calendar) Oh no! You were fertile. We cannot vaccinate you now.

Me: Doc, we used a condom. It's true, Doc...we are planning not to have a baby until 2014 because we want to enjoy being just with each other first.

Dr: Sorry ma'am, using a condom is not 100% safe.

(I was starting to feel cold all over at this point...)

Me: Doc, please, my husband already extended his stay here to wait until I get my visa because I already have an interview schedule

Dr: Ma'am, this is not our policy. We really can't vaccinate you now because there is a chance that you are pregnant and it would put your baby at risk. You have to come back 2 WEEKS AFTER THE END OF YOUR FERTILE PERIOD WHICH IS ON THE 31ST OR OCT. 1. (since september ends at 30, obviously) When is your interview?

Me: October 15.

Dr: (checks her desk calendar again) Wait, let's talk to the manager.

(she summoned another woman, the manager, then they discussed my case in front of me)

Me: Ma'am, please help me...I can't afford any more delay than what I already went through (referring to the sputum culture which really turned out negative). Manager to the Dr: She really has to come back on the 16th.

(I was too heartbroken to say anything.)

The doctor/interviewer turned to me with a mixed expression--slightly annoyed at me but also feeling sorry for me (my interpretation). Then she said, "Ma'am, you are expected to have your period sometime around Oct. 12. So you will have your interview on October 15 and then you come back here on the 16th then you will undergo another pregnancy test. (She noticed me having a blank expression so she said, "Ok, take time to collect yourself first." Then I said sorry and tried to focus. She said again what she already said and that's when I realized she said I will have my interview as scheduled. So I asked her again if I can really go ahead with my interview and she confirmed it but made clear that my medical record would show I haven't been vaccinated yet and will have to go back for it. This is when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and said a big silent "THANK YOU!" to God. I thanked the doctor and she softened up and told me to not worry too much. Then I remebered to ask her what if I still have my period on the 16..should I wait for it to end before going back. She said, "No. The heavier your menstrual flow on that day, the better." Later I realized that is because it would confirm that I am indeed NOT pregnant.

Now, I do realize that this whole thing is all about making sure that my baby (if I am pregnant) is not harmed. I appreciate the very good intention behind the policy. What I am feeling upset about is that NEVER did anyone at St. Luke's advise me or anyone I know who is going through medical exam there not to have sexual contact while awaiting our medical exam result. To other people who are wiser than me on this matter, this might seem a given but I absolutely never thought about it. I just thought that if you ARE CONFIRMED PREGNANT, that's when you are not vaccinated. I wish they gave us warning or clear instructions on this. This is why I am sharing my experience so others will be warned. The best course of action is really to abstain from any sexual contact on your fertile period (and you better know when that is so you will have the right answer during your interview). Lying and saying you did not have sexual contact might be a good option to totally avoid any possible trouble but again, what if you are really pregnant?! If I had to do it all over again, I would still be totally honest during my interview. Then again, had I been warned, my husband and I would have had no problem putting off sexual contact last night.

At the end of the day, we still have a lot to be thankful for. My negative sputum culture result is a great blessing. We are just hoping that after my interview and vaccination, I would be able to get my visa in time for our planned trip to the US together. May God bless us all!

Edited September 27, 2012 by RnB

[iluvmy_hubbybunny 9]

aw sorry to hear that.. but that is actually the reason why they are asking about your last period and last sexual encounter.. but still ..congrats on you medical and goodluck on your upcoming interview..

[Hank_ 9,173]

This has been talked about many times here on VJ... NO whoopy before the medical.... as in keep it in your pants GUYS!

From the sounds of things all will be fine, after your interview and you go to St. Luke's and get your vaccinations there will be a slight delay while St. Luke's forwards your vaccination info to the embassy, then they will final process your application and then issue, print and deliver your visa.

[RnB 0]

aw sorry to hear that.. but that is actually the reason why they are asking about your last period and last sexual encounter.. but still ..congrats on you medical and goodluck on your upcoming interview..

yes, i guess you are right. what didn't occur to me before this was that they will just right away assume i am pregnant without doing a pregnancy test on me first. plus the fact that even without the medical exam angle, my husband and i are actually already working on avoiding pregnancy. to be honest, i would have signed a waiver if they gave me that option because i am almost sure that i am not pregnant.

thank you for your well wishes. good luck to you, too! :-)

Edited September 27, 2012 by RnB

[Hank_ 9,173]

yes, i guess you are right. what didn't occur to me before this was that they will just right away assume i am pregnant without doing a pregnancy test on me first. plus the fact that even without the medical exam angle, my husband and i are actually already working on avoiding pregnancy. to be honest, i would have signed a waiver if they gave me that option because i am almost sure that i am not pregnant.

thank you for well wishes. good luck to you, too! :-)

Still a gamble considering you are talking about a "possible" little life.

[RnB 0]

This has been talked about many times here on VJ... NO whoopy before the medical.... as in keep it in your pants GUYS!

From the sounds of things all will be fine, after your interview and you go to St. Luke's and get your vaccinations there will be a slight delay while St. Luke's forwards your vaccination info to the embassy, then they will final process your application and then issue, print and deliver your visa.

thanks for the encouragement! :-)

i feel so bad now that i didn't get to read up on this before. maybe i was meant to learn about it the hard way. do you happen to know how much delay we are looking at here? we are planning to fly to the US on the 25th (10 days after my interview) and although i don't have my ticket yet, it would really be painful to not have my visa by then. my husband has already rescheduled his flight (originally on the 15th which turned out to be my interview date) and this morning before i went to st.luke's, we already applied for extension of his visa waiver. well, the worst that could happen is he will have to rebook his flight again (more expenses :-( ) or if his boss doesn't let him take more days off, i will have to fly to the US alone (which i am trying to prepare for already).

Edited September 27, 2012 by RnB

[RnB 0]

Still a gamble considering you are talking about a "possible" little life.

i'd have to agree with you on that. thanks.

[NikkiWicki 3]

Before I start, let me make it clear that I have never (or don't remember) ever reading anything here on VJ regarding this, hence, the total shock I had when I was met with this setback today.

This afternoon, I went back to St. Luke's for my sputum culture result. I was very optimistic that I'd finally get done with my medical exam because it has already been 9 weeks since I underwent the dreaded 3-day sputum collection and I didn't get the much-more-dreaded "early call" which most often signals a positive result. So I went and after almost an hour, I was finally called to the immunization room - doctor's interview (or something like that). After the basic questions, this exchange followed:

Dr: When did your last menstruation start?

Me: September 14.

Dr: When did it end?

Me: September 18.

Dr: Any sexual contact since then?

Me: Just once. Last night. My husband just arrived from the US, ma'am.

Dr: (looks at the computer then her desk calendar) Oh no! You were fertile. We cannot vaccinate you now.

Me: Doc, we used a condom. It's true, Doc...we are planning not to have a baby until 2014 because we want to enjoy being just with each other first.

Dr: Sorry ma'am, using a condom is not 100% safe.

(I was starting to feel cold all over at this point...)

Me: Doc, please, my husband already extended his stay here to wait until I get my visa because I already have an interview schedule

Dr: Ma'am, this is not our policy. We really can't vaccinate you now because there is a chance that you are pregnant and it would put your baby at risk. You have to come back 2 WEEKS AFTER THE END OF YOUR FERTILE PERIOD WHICH IS ON THE 31ST OR OCT. 1. (since september ends at 30, obviously) When is your interview?

Me: October 15.

Dr: (checks her desk calendar again) Wait, let's talk to the manager.

(she summoned another woman, the manager, then they discussed my case in front of me)

Me: Ma'am, please help me...I can't afford any more delay than what I already went through (referring to the sputum culture which really turned out negative). Manager to the Dr: She really has to come back on the 16th.

(I was too heartbroken to say anything.)

The doctor/interviewer turned to me with a mixed expression--slightly annoyed at me but also feeling sorry for me (my interpretation). Then she said, "Ma'am, you are expected to have your period sometime around Oct. 12. So you will have your interview on October 15 and then you come back here on the 16th then you will undergo another pregnancy test. (She noticed me having a blank expression so she said, "Ok, take time to collect yourself first." Then I said sorry and tried to focus. She said again what she already said and that's when I realized she said I will have my interview as scheduled. So I asked her again if I can really go ahead with my interview and she confirmed it but made clear that my medical record would show I haven't been vaccinated yet and will have to go back for it. This is when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and said a big silent "THANK YOU!" to God. I thanked the doctor and she softened up and told me to not worry too much. Then I remebered to ask her what if I still have my period on the 16..should I wait for it to end before going back. She said, "No. The heavier your menstrual flow on that day, the better." Later I realized that is because it would confirm that I am indeed NOT pregnant.

Now, I do realize that this whole thing is all about making sure that my baby (if I am pregnant) is not harmed. I appreciate the very good intention behind the policy. What I am feeling upset about is that NEVER did anyone at St. Luke's advise me or anyone I know who is going through medical exam there not to have sexual contact while awaiting our medical exam result. To other people who are wiser than me on this matter, this might seem a given but I absolutely never thought about it. I just thought that if you ARE CONFIRMED PREGNANT, that's when you are not vaccinated. I wish they gave us warning or clear instructions on this. This is why I am sharing my experience so others will be warned. The best course of action is really to abstain from any sexual contact on your fertile period (and you better know when that is so you will have the right answer during your interview). Lying and saying you did not have sexual contact might be a good option to totally avoid any possible trouble but again, what if you are really pregnant?! If I had to do it all over again, I would still be totally honest during my interview. Then again, had I been warned, my husband and I would have had no problem putting off sexual contact last night.

At the end of the day, we still have a lot to be thankful for. My negative sputum culture result is a great blessing. We are just hoping that after my interview and vaccination, I would be able to get my visa in time for our planned trip to the US together. May God bless us all!

im sorry to hear that. but dont worry because some people didnt really know about this. my friend whom I went to the medical with had the similar case which hervaccination got delayed they waited for her to get her menses going first. not because she had a sexual contact prior to the day of the medical BUT her last menstrual period had been far from the date of her medical exam meaning her cycle has started already and judging from the date its between the fertile and ovulating period. So the lesson for this would be yes try not to have any sexual contact a day before ur medical AND the best time to do ur medical is after ur period. wala ng lusot yun! goodluck on your upcoming interview!

[NikkiWicki 3]

yes, i guess you are right. what didn't occur to me before this was that they will just right away assume i am pregnant without doing a pregnancy test on me first. plus the fact that even without the medical exam angle, my husband and i are actually already working on avoiding pregnancy. to be honest, i would have signed a waiver if they gave me that option because i am almost sure that i am not pregnant.

thank you for your well wishes. good luck to you, too! :-)

btw sis, doctors can actually predict more likely the percentage that u will get pregnant just by asking ur LAst menstrual period bonus would be the last sexual contact PT is just confirmatory

[RnB 0]

im sorry to hear that. but dont worry because some people didnt really know about this. my friend whom I went to the medical with had the similar case which hervaccination got delayed they waited for her to get her menses going first. not because she had a sexual contact prior to the day of the medical BUT her last menstrual period had been far from the date of her medical exam meaning her cycle has started already and judging from the date its between the fertile and ovulating period. So the lesson for this would be yes try not to have any sexual contact a day before ur medical AND the best time to do ur medical is after ur period. wala ng lusot yun! goodluck on your upcoming interview!

hi! yun na nga sis eh, i had my medical after my period last july. i did it as soon as i got my case number (way before i had an appointment letter from nvc) because i learned here on VJ that there is a possibility of having to go through sputum culture. back then, 100% sure na di ako mabuntis kasi wala dito asawa ko. yung kanina kasi na pagbalik ko was to get my sputum culture result pero di ko talaga naisip na magiging big deal yung one and only sexual contact ko with my husband since july...medyo tampo lang ako kasi sa dinami-dami ng mga instructions nilang binigay sa akin, never man lang binanggit na "bawal po kayong mag-sexual contact ha..." or something. they should make it SOP to give that warning/instruction. anyway, ok na ako now..nakapag-vent out na kasi. i just hope na wala nang magkaroon ng ganitong experience kasi kakagulat talaga..at nakakakaba. (pero wala pa ring tatalo sa kaba nung maghintay ng result ng sputum culture na thankfully ay nalampasan ko na.)

thanks for wishing me luck. :-)

(oh my, i just realized i replied in the vernacular...i must be really sleepy already..sorry, to those who don't understand filipino.)

Edited September 27, 2012 by RnB

[NikkiWicki 3]

ay oo nga, i must have forgotten that detail at bumalik ka nalang pala. anyway, at least the sputum thing is done cause it is a bigger picture than getting ur vaccines delayed! hehe the sputum is like getting ur visa waaaaaay delayed! with that God speed on the interview!

[Tahoma 2,291]

what didn't occur to me before this was that they will just right away assume i am pregnant without doing a pregnancy test on me first.

^^^Pregnancy tests are not always accurate.

Note: If you get the vaccinations at St. Lukes, it may set you back a few days or, possibly, a week or more. However, here's something you might want to look into:

K-1'ers have the option to waive the vaccinations at St. Lukes, and then get the vaccinations in the U.S. before they adjust their status. However, you are a CR-1'er. I don't know if CR-1'ers are allowed to do the same, but it's something you might want to check out. If you are allowed to waive the St. Lukes vaccinations, you could do so, and it would save you some time. You might want to contact St. Lukes and find out about it. Or, maybe another CR-1'er will chime in with their experience.

[Samuel and Marvic 4]

I knew about the menstruation thing, but I had no idea about the sexual contact thing (and I scour these boards like crazy due to the complicated mess my specific case had gotten into, lol). I suppose I can use this to tease my fiance since she couldn't stop telling me how all these girls were with their significant others while going through the medical process this week.

[thinkerlove0212 158]

This happen to us also because they asked if I was there with her. No problems, Anne returned before leaving because she didnt want to wait for me to return to fly together.

[Fight for Love 98]

Congrats :dance:

I know how you feel.But I don't think they mean to harm your feeling by not giving your vaccine. Like they mention it's risky...god forbids if you’re indeed pregnant you don't want to have a side effect that you might regret doing later on.

If I were in your situation I will probably just go on with the flow. I will not take the risk...my visa could wait in few days/months/even years. But NOT the life of my own child that he/she will have abnormality for the rest of his/her life.