USC/UKC child not coping... Advice pls

[teach_says 4]

Hi all...

My oldest son (who is a dual USC and UKC) has had a dramatic deterioration in his behaviour at school. I had a parental meeting today and they brought up the relocation...

They have asked whether it was possible for him to be in America for the start of the school year, as starting in the middle of the academic year has brought up a lot of anxiety, which has resulted in him acting out in various ways (screaming, shouting, fighting, crying, etc). They've said they are going to write a report that I can use explaining their concerns of the negative effect that it is having on his mental health.

I knew he had concerns and he was eager to know exactly when we would be in America with his father, I knew that he had worries... but the meeting today, showed the depth of the issues for him and it has left me sooo deflated. I feel as though my decisions are the reason that my 8 year old isn't coping at all.

My question is do you think this is a viable reason to put in a expedite request? I don't want to get put to the back of the queue if it's refused.

I gues my other option would be to delay the process, so that we are out there in 2013-14 academic year... I am not sure how I would go about that either.

Edited May 29, 2012 by teach_says

[Ontarkie 15,106]

You can try to get an expedite but I wouldn't' count on it. Since he is a USC they would just say send him to his father while you wait. Anyways it can't hurt to try.

Now as a mother I highly recommend you take your son to the doctors he needs help working through his feelings. It will not make a difference if he starts in the middle of the year or the beginning if he can't deal with his emotions he will be dealing with so much change regardless. Please get him the help he needs, and continue it when you get to the US, anxiety does not go away by itself. At his age he will bounce back fairly easy, when he learns how to express his feelings better.

[Anh map 2,098]

If the child is a US citizen he can get on a plane tomorrow. No expedite needed for your visa. Dad will be there with him.

Can't hurt to ask. You won't get bumped to the back of the line if not granted. You just won't get a push toward the front.

Best of luck.

[teach_says 4]

You can try to get an expedite but I wouldn't' count on it. Since he is a USC they would just say send him to his father while you wait. Anyways it can't hurt to try.

Now as a mother I highly recommend you take your son to the doctors he needs help working through his feelings. It will not make a difference if he starts in the middle of the year or the beginning if he can't deal with his emotions he will be dealing with so much change regardless. Please get him the help he needs, and continue it when you get to the US, anxiety does not go away by itself. At his age he will bounce back fairly easy, when he learns how to express his feelings better.

I thought that the time of year wouldn't make a difference either, but they explained why it would for a child his age, as he would feel a though he was part of the intro process being able to start with the rest of his peers.

In the UK you go through the school when they highlight the problem, but I agreed for him to have weekly 1-2-1 sessions with the educational psychologist and withdrawl sessions for him to talk through how he feels.

I do think once we are out there it will be fine (but I see your point about continuing the addtional support), but its the uncertainty that is affecting him right now.

Him going without me wouldn't be viable, I'd rather delay as he has never been without me or his brother.

[teach_says 4]

If the child is a US citizen he can get on a plane tomorrow. No expedite needed for your visa. Dad will be there with him.

Can't hurt to ask. You won't get bumped to the back of the line if not granted. You just won't get a push toward the front.

Best of luck.

Thanks for letting me know there's no harm in trying. I'd be making a rod for my own back by sending him over to the US without me and his brother... It wouldcreate a new set of issues for him.

[Ontarkie 15,106]

I'm not sure where you are going to be living, but the little bit I had to deal with schools here with my older 4 the schools could care less about helping them adjust. I found the schools to be very crappy around here, so hopefully they are better where you end up. That is why I mentioned getting him help with his feelings I don't have a lot of faith in these schools.