How do you deal with all the stress and frustration?

[Severina 7]

I've been living here in the US for nine months now. We went through all the visa and AOS stress. I got my green card without problems. I like living here but lately I have been so stressed out. The reason for this is that I constantly feel threatened by some authority or institution. Just read an article about how a mistake in your immigration process can lead to deportation even if they find out 20 years later. I'm not talking about fraud but about mistakes you might make because you don't know it better...doesn't seem fair to me.

This week I had to deal with the worst stress since I came here. TAXES!!! I have to do taxes in two countries. For this reason I went to Germany in March to take care of the German part. When I came back my husband and I went to see an American tax advisor to get help. I can tell you I didn't dread the visa process as much as I dreaded doing taxes here. As early as January I tried to find someone who would help me. I tried a German who has been living here for over two decades - never heard of her again. I tried a tax lawyer who said he would do it for a big chunk of money, I would have done it but - never heard of him again. I asked in forums and everyone I know if they knew someone who would know about international tax law. So in a German forum I was recommended this tax and accounting company. Last Saturday we went there, sat there for two hours and went through all the forms I thought I would need to fill in. He seemed like a nice and capable guy and when we left the building we were so relieved. Well, on Tuesday we went to pick up our copies, on the way home I took a look at them and I couldn't believe it! The guy got the conversion rate from Euro to Dollar wrong, he used Dollar to Euro, which meant that all my figures were wrong!!! We called there immediately and were told that our return had already been electronically filed, but they would try to recall it. Well, they could recall it at least that's what they said. We agreed to sit together and do it again from the start but the next day I discovered another huge mistake. He made my husband a German resident and made it look as if he got my dividends. That was it. We decided to file separately cause I definitely need an extension to get my part right (keep in mind the deadline is April 17). So we thought he could at least do my husband's taxes which is quite simple and file for extension for me. We had an appointment yesterday and the guy came up with all the corrections but I just didn't trust him anymore. Seemingly he did my extension right but we learned this morning that my husband's e-filing was rejected cause he typed in the wrong AGI from 2010. It's unbelievable, this guy is an accountant and cannot deal with figures??? We will talk to his boss to get our money back, I wonder how that will go...

What is more disturbing to me is that in my despair I called the IRS in order to find out which forms I need to fill in and the girl on the phone wasn't sure about this one form. I mean if they don't know it who does. At the same time I read that failing to submit this form might lead to penalty and extension of statute of limitation. So the IRS threatens you that you might have to pay a penalty of 10,000, 50,000 or 100,000 dollars if you make a mistake with your tax return but at the same time they can't help you??? I'm scared out of my mind. Finally I had the idea of hiring a German tax advisor specialising in US tax law and I found one in Munich. I talked to him an he seemed to be nice and competent but in the meantime I don't trust anybody anymore...

Sorry for all this ranting but I feel very unsecure here. When I came back from Germany two weeks ago and entered the US with my Green Card for the first time I thought that would be quick and easy but in fact it took longer than any other time before with a VWP or the K1 visa. The IO obviously couldn't find me in the system, I was standing there sweating, believing I could not come back to my husband and my home. And then again a bunch of stupid questions. What does it matter where my husband is and what I have been doing in Germany? I have been checked through and through for visa and Green Card, even had to go through a medical exam and they still give me a hard time??? I'm frustrated beyond believe and I feel not welcome in this country. Right now I would like to pack my bags and just go home.

[alizon 77]

What is more disturbing to me is that in my despair I called the IRS in order to find out which forms I need to fill in and the girl on the phone wasn't sure about this one form. I mean if they don't know it who does. At the same time I read that failing to submit this form might lead to penalty and extension of statute of limitation. So the IRS threatens you that you might have to pay a penalty of 10,000, 50,000 or 100,000 dollars if you make a mistake with your tax return but at the same time they can't help you??? I'm scared out of my mind. Finally I had the idea of hiring a German tax advisor specialising in US tax law and I found one in Munich. I talked to him an he seemed to be nice and competent but in the meantime I don't trust anybody anymore...

Sorry for all this ranting but I feel very unsecure here. When I came back from Germany two weeks ago and entered the US with my Green Card for the first time I thought that would be quick and easy but in fact it took longer than any other time before with a VWP or the K1 visa. The IO obviously couldn't find me in the system, I was standing there sweating, believing I could not come back to my husband and my home. And then again a bunch of stupid questions. What does it matter where my husband is and what I have been doing in Germany? I have been checked through and through for visa and Green Card, even had to go through a medical exam and they still give me a hard time??? I'm frustrated beyond believe and I feel not welcome in this country. Right now I would like to pack my bags and just go home.

Sorry you've been having a rough time. Just two things that might put your mind at ease somewhat. First, genuinely making a mistake on your taxes is rarely cause for a penalty as high as you mention. I've made mistakes on my taxes before, and all that happens is you get a letter from the IRS pointing out your mistake and adjusting your refund. If you owe more than you thought you did, you'll have to pay interest on the difference, but that's only a few percentage points. As for being questioned when you come into the US: I was born a US citizen, and I have still been questioned like that coming into the US. It's just the prerogative of the officer you get, and some of them are more worried/suspicious than others, so don't take it too personally.

Hope things start looking up!

[Severina 7]

Sorry you've been having a rough time. Just two things that might put your mind at ease somewhat. First, genuinely making a mistake on your taxes is rarely cause for a penalty as high as you mention. I've made mistakes on my taxes before, and all that happens is you get a letter from the IRS pointing out your mistake and adjusting your refund. If you owe more than you thought you did, you'll have to pay interest on the difference, but that's only a few percentage points. As for being questioned when you come into the US: I was born a US citizen, and I have still been questioned like that coming into the US. It's just the prerogative of the officer you get, and some of them are more worried/suspicious than others, so don't take it too personally.

Hope things start looking up!

Thank you very much for your answer! I guess that's what I needed to hear. Sometimes everything seems to be a little overwhelming. I guess it's the insecurity that you feel when you live in a different country. From now on I will try not to take it personally . Thanks again and have a nice weekend!

Edited April 15, 2012 by Severina

[alizon 77]

Thank you very much for your answer! I guess that's what I needed to hear. Sometimes everything seems to be a little overwhelming. I guess it's the insecurity that you feel when you live in a different country. From now on I will try not to take it personally . Thanks again and have a nice weekend!

No problem! You too!

[adiiann 163]

We did e-filing for tax, u got ssn type wrong, got rejected by irs and state. We fixed it and sent it again, got the refund after almost 3 weeks in our mail.

You should be fine. Just fixed and send it again.