If Jesus were alive today, he’d be rich

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Charles Onyango-Obbo

WHAT OTHERS SAY

cobbo@ke.nationmedia.com

With the holiday season upon us, my mind is what you might describe as an “idle state”. I am in no mood to think too much about the war in Somalia; the bloody crackdown on the brave protestors in Egypt; corruption in East Africa; and whether Barack Obama will get re-elected US president in 11 months.

Because Christmas is three days away, I find it easier to reflect on what might happen today if Jesus Christ were alive.The Palestinian Authority today controls Bethlehem, where Jesus was born in what the chaps in my village would call a kraal.If the older Jesus Christ, with his long hair, were living in Bethlehem and a Palestinian citizen, if he travelled abroad he would be looked at suspiciously.

He would be pulled out of line at various airports and questioned on the suspicion that he is an “Arab terrorist”, possibly a senior official of the radical Palestinian Islamic Jihad.

If, however, he had moved and was living in Israel, he would either be a grabber of Palestinian land, or be denounced as a “Zionist” by someone like Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.There are two things that happened to Jesus, one when he was a child, and the other as an adult, that I am almost sure would not happen to him today – if he lived in the right country.

The good book tells us that Jesus’ mum, Mary, and “father” Joseph fled to Egypt for fear of King Herod.

The story also goes that Pontius Pilate, the representative of the Roman governor in Judea, sentenced Jesus to death. Or rather, he turned Jesus over to the Jewish leaders to be crucified.

Pilate was a calculating bureaucrat/politician, who gave up Jesus not because he believed him to be guilty of the crimes of treason and blasphemy, but because he was afraid the Jewish leaders would foment revolution in the region if he didn’t. In other words, Pilate was a big picture kind of guy.

If all these things had happened in our times, Mary and Joseph would have had the possibility to bribe King Herod’s soldiers, and they would not have had to flee.

And considering that conniving Pilate would be a modern-day Italian official, he might well have had secret links to the Mafia. Again a few million dollars wired to his Swiss account would have been enough for him to declare Jesus innocent, and arrange for him to escape to a safe country.

Jesus could perform all sorts of miracles. He could turn water into wine. Multiply loaves of bread. Cure the blind, heal the sick, but most critically, raise the dead!

Being a Son of God and a humble man, he did not charge for any of these miracles. Impossible to believe. Today we have quack miracle-healing pastors, witchdoctors, peddlers of fake love potions and cures for infertility, and they charge an arm and leg for them.

So, if Christ were alive today, he would have to levy a fee for miracle cures. For raising people from the dead, I think the price would be KSh100 million at least. Even I would be tempted to pay for that one.

We all remember the story early this year of Loliondo, a village in Tanzania’s Ngorongoro district in Arusha Region.

Loliondo became famous because it gave the world a man called Ambilikile Mwasapile, a retired pastor from the Lutheran Church. He claimed he was dispensing a miracle drink that cured everything from cancer, HIV/Aids, ulcers, high blood pressure, diabetes, and so forth. All it took was one swig of a drink from some boiled leaves.

There was a stampede. People came from near and far. An NTV documentary reported a queue of cars nearly 20 kilometres long. There were rumours of powerful people in Tanzanian leadership arriving in the night, covered in Maasai blankets, to have their ailments cured. A makeshift helicopter pad was cleared out for airborne customers.

The NTV documentary had a doctor who was testifying that Mwasapile was a quack, but you could see he was afraid because that was not a fashionable thing to say.If Mwasapile with his dubious “miracle cure” could get a waiting queue 20kms long, I think Jesus’ queue today would stretch from Nairobi to, well, Bethlehem.

Mr Onyango-Obbo is the Executive Editor of the Nation Media Group’s Africa and Digital Media Division

http://thecitizen.co.tz/editorial-analysis/-/18184-if-jesus-were-alive-today-hed-be-rich

[Tim/Mav 305]

I find this post an Insult to Jehovah and Jesus.

Of Course he stood out. And was Murdered.

What a thing to say.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I find this post an Insult to Jehovah and Jesus.

Of Course he stood out. And was Murdered.

What a thing to say.

Murdered? I thought he had the benefit of due process, and was executed as an enemy of the state.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Murdered? I thought he had the benefit of due process, and was executed as an enemy of the state.

I feel your Topic had VERY POOR SUBJECT MATTER and you can make-up any excuse you wish. Jesus did not steal, kill, commit offenses. He was Executed (Murdered) because Kings, Rulers, feared him. He was humble and died for your ####.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I feel your Topic had VERY POOR SUBJECT MATTER and you can make-up any excuse you wish. Jesus did not steal, kill, commit offenses. He was Executed (Murdered) because Kings, Rulers, feared him. He was humble and died for your ####.

Murder is an unlawful act. State executions are not.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Murder is an unlawful act. State executions are not.

Forgive me. What State are you talking about? Show me in any Bible about Jesus getting a Trial of his Peers. That was imposible to do since he had no peers. He stood alone and was let down by the people he took care of. But forgave them and asked Jehovah to do the same.

Merry Christmas!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Forgive me. What State are you talking about? Show me in any Bible about Jesus getting a Trial of his Peers. That was imposible to do since he had no peers. He stood alone and was let down by the people he took care of. But forgave them and asked Jehovah to do the same.

Merry Christmas!

About the same time there lived Jesus, a wise man for he was a performer of marvelous feats and a teacher of such men who received the truth with pleasure. He attracted many Jews and many Greeks. He was called the Christ. Pilate sentenced him to die on the cross, having been urged to do so by the noblest of our citizens; but those who loved him at the first did not give up their affection for him. And the tribe of the Christians, who are named after him, have not disappeared to this day. -- Josephus

[SuperDuper! 230]

I find this post an Insult to Jehovah and Jesus.

Of Course he stood out. And was Murdered.

What a thing to say.

Yes, it is offensive.

At least Crusty Old Perv changed his name to Sunshine !

Let's hope it makes his posts more sunny and bright as well!

Peace.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Yes, it is offensive.

At least Crusty Old Perv changed his name to Sunshine !

Let's hope it makes his posts more sunny and bright as well!

Peace.

I find all those Watchtowers left at the laundromat offensive, but I did enjoy throwing a half dozen Jehovah Witnesses off my property.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I find all those Watchtowers left at the laundromat offensive, but I did enjoy throwing a half dozen Jehovah Witnesses off my property.

Careful ☼. the Mormons are next, and they ain't showing up for a fluff and fold!

[The_Dude 1,142]

I find this post an Insult to Jehovah and Jesus.

Of Course he stood out. And was Murdered.

What a thing to say.

You are offended by fiction? There are many great fiction writers out there, you should take some time and read their works, they are quite entertaining!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Jesus is alive.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Jesus is alive.

Yup, he makes the best chili rellenos in Los Angeles too! He runs a really good restaurant on the westside.