Helping her to adjust to life here

[Dan and Judy 614]

I Love it I never did get used to the toilet thing when I was there and at first could not find the toilet paper. I stayed with my girl's parents and on my first trip to the grocery (my first day) I bought some 'tissue'. They said not to put that into the toilet, but I stood by my guns and said it was am American thing. I have been thinking of how to approach her delicately about some bathroom issues (i.e. toilet seats, flushing the paper, and even using paper) Any advise?

All she needs is a good size plastic cup. She's gotten by all these years without toilet paper. Think of all the money you'll save and she wont b-tch at you for leaving the seat up

If you don't say anything you'll probably just notice a cup mysteriously sitting by the toilet. Do not drink from that cup.

You can explain how "we" do the toilet paper thing. After that you can go with the "don't ask, don't tell" policy

[Bayareaguy 156]

I Love it I never did get used to the toilet thing when I was there and at first could not find the toilet paper. I stayed with my girl's parents and on my first trip to the grocery (my first day) I bought some 'tissue'. They said not to put that into the toilet, but I stood by my guns and said it was am American thing. I have been thinking of how to approach her delicately about some bathroom issues (i.e. toilet seats, flushing the paper, and even using paper) Any advise?

The best of both worlds:

http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/WashletC110.aspx

[spikedog 2]

If you don't say anything you'll probably just notice a cup mysteriously sitting by the toilet. Do not drink from that cup.

This is almost worth trying for a couple of days to see if it happens.

[bahaynamin 13]

My wife on the other hand doesn't want anything filipino when she gets here. I just asked her now and she said she dont want to do anything filipino because she lived her whole life there and wants to be american now! She said she doesnt want filipino friends because she doesnt want any filipina women to see me is what she said. It really shocks me that she doesnt want to be reminded of home at all, because she has a great family in the Philippines and had a great life growing up there.

[tripod 0]

My wife on the other hand doesn't want anything filipino when she gets here. I just asked her now and she said she dont want to do anything filipino because she lived her whole life there and wants to be american now! She said she doesnt want filipino friends because she doesnt want any filipina women to see me is what she said. It really shocks me that she doesnt want to be reminded of home at all, because she has a great family in the Philippines and had a great life growing up there.

woooww it shocked me too hearing that gosh. i'm missing my nephews already when i went to Manila for cfo and medical how much more when i go to US. Good thing my sis inlaw is having a baby and will be due on my arrival haha. I have something to take care when i arrived and will not be missing my nephews that much. I'm missing my family just thinking about leaving them huhu

I guess ur wife is just tough dealing with dramas hehe

[rheanick 42]

My wife on the other hand doesn't want anything filipino when she gets here. I just asked her now and she said she dont want to do anything filipino because she lived her whole life there and wants to be american now! She said she doesnt want filipino friends because she doesnt want any filipina women to see me is what she said. It really shocks me that she doesnt want to be reminded of home at all, because she has a great family in the Philippines and had a great life growing up there.

No offense meant.. but i would start finding couselling and psychiatrist clinic in your area.

Im no psychologist though i had some units in counselling before, unless there is a very deeply rooted issue that happened to her in the Philippines or with her family, its very unusual for a person to totally for denounce her nationality/culture.

[adiiann 163]

I was beginning to think Chinook was the only one who didn't get homesick.

Opsssssss.... I didn't get homesick... Our life is always on the go. LoL. For the first half before I started working.... I'm busy enjoying my life not waking up so early to go to work. Doing things I always wanted to do but I couldn't since I was busy for work and school. Also, busy enjoying being a housewife because I know it will not be that way forever.

What I miss right now is eating Filipino food since I'm busy and no freakin' Filipino store here in St. Louis, MO. LoL

[LynAndArt 2]

This might be optimistic, but I want to ask now anyway. Our interview is Friday and I have a normal case, so I feel that it is pretty sure that we will be seeing each other by the end of this month. My question(s) are: Besides cleaning my house like crazy, corralling my dogs, and being a loving and understanding fiance', What are some things I can do to make her transition easier?

I am asking some of the couples that have been through this successfully.

Thanks,

Jim

Lyn has been here 2 months now and we are very happily married. My best advice; be patient!

[Camilo Osias 2]

....teach her the "americanisms": skinny-dipping, moonshine, wearing a baseball cap, sneakers, driving in lanes, horns not honking, traffic lights, pedistrian right of way, cost of food, Frozen foods, refrigerator, cost of data over a smartphone, monthly billing, no security at stores or malls. Drive-thru. Tacos, burritos. get involved in a church, or find a local catholic church for her. Show interest in her.

Reckon this is the best advice so far. Gotta include casinos, fishing, pumpkins, baseball, apple pie & Chevrolet. Forget TFC; there's The Young And The Restless, Hawaii Five-O and The Game Show Network, among others. Believe you me, she'll be Americanized in no time!

[Dan and Judy 614]

No offense meant.. but i would start finding couselling and psychiatrist clinic in your area.

Im no psychologist though i had some units in counselling before, unless there is a very deeply rooted issue that happened to her in the Philippines or with her family, its very unusual for a person to totally for denounce her nationality/culture.

I wouldn't worry about it.

I read "IM ok , youre ok"

can't remember what it said but I'm not worried about that either

[Dan and Judy 614]

Reckon this is the best advice so far. Gotta include casinos, fishing, pumpkins, baseball, apple pie & Chevrolet. Forget TFC; there's The Young And The Restless, Hawaii Five-O and The Game Show Network, among others. Believe you me, she'll be Americanized in no time!

Under NO circumstances include casinos. If she asks what a casino is tell her they are tanning parlors.

[Camilo Osias 2]

Under NO circumstances include casinos. If she asks what a casino is tell her they are tanning parlors.

Exactamente! You'll be hard pressed to find a Filipino woman who wants to be tanned!

[TeapotGirl 66]

Under NO circumstances include casinos. If she asks what a casino is tell her they are tanning parlors.

Do you think we don't know what casino is? Here they are the "tong-itan" or "majong house"

[adiiann 163]

We are on our 3rd week of being here. the first week and second week were the worst for her. She really missed fmaily. The first week was a lot of talking to fmaily back home in the Philippines. the main thing I did was to establish to her family I am taking care of her. But that she is also mine now. This is something customary to the family. It is very important to do this in her native language to her family. It means a lot to your fiancee. things really changed when I did this with Gretchen.

Cleaning. Be prepared to search for things. My WII games disappeared, the wii wireless bar disappeared. Be prepared to look for things with her. Or show her what is important.

Be prepared to show her how to mmop, how to use a sweeper, how to use the dishwasher and clothes washer/dryer. Have dishsoap on hand. (she will want to wash dishes anyway).

Be prepared to find clothes in the shower area she washed anyway the old fashioned way.

Be prepared to explain putting things in the fridge, or in tupperware then in the fridge. How to cook or do things here. Be prepared to show how to use a stove, grill, etc. Be prepared to explain not to mix bleach with ammonia. (I have bleach tablets in my toilets and she put in Pine-sol one time.)

Spend time with her. Talk with her. Spend time having her teach you her language. Expect to watch romantic movies, TLC, cinema one. Get to like HYY on TLC and don't be afraid to admit you watch HYY for the dancing girls.

Rice cooker and proper rice is extremely important. Be prepared for food she may not like. And be patient on her trying American food. It will take some time. And be ready to eat Filipino food from time to time.

Tell her good morning sayo (this commercial stucnk in my head) or muyen butag angel ko. We have family in town. So spends a lot of time with "mama fey" (grandma fey)

Get her involved with your friends. Take her to your office and show her what you do. Tell her you love her every day. Ask her to marry you every day. Tell her, and her family you cannot live without her, and if she left you would miss her very much. Let her talk to family and friends. But also show you care and want to know.

teach her the "americanisms": skinny-dipping, moonshine, wearing a baseball cap, sneakers, driving in lanes, horns not honking, traffic lights, pedistrian right of way, cost of food, Frozen foods, refrigerator, cost of data over a smartphone, monthly billing, no security at stores or malls. Drive-thru. Tacos, burritos. get involved in a church, or find a local catholic church for her. Show interest in her.

Whew! That's a lot of preparation. None of those my husband did to prepare when I first got here. Would it be better if you just let her learn on her own, don't get pissed when she makes mistakes?

[thelastpetitioner 218]

We are on our 3rd week of being here. the first week and second week were the worst for her. She really missed fmaily. The first week was a lot of talking to fmaily back home in the Philippines. the main thing I did was to establish to her family I am taking care of her. But that she is also mine now. This is something customary to the family. It is very important to do this in her native language to her family. It means a lot to your fiancee. things really changed when I did this with Gretchen.

Cleaning. Be prepared to search for things. My WII games disappeared, the wii wireless bar disappeared. Be prepared to look for things with her. Or show her what is important.

Be prepared to show her how to mmop, how to use a sweeper, how to use the dishwasher and clothes washer/dryer. Have dishsoap on hand. (she will want to wash dishes anyway).

Be prepared to find clothes in the shower area she washed anyway the old fashioned way.

Be prepared to explain putting things in the fridge, or in tupperware then in the fridge. How to cook or do things here. Be prepared to show how to use a stove, grill, etc. Be prepared to explain not to mix bleach with ammonia. (I have bleach tablets in my toilets and she put in Pine-sol one time.)

Spend time with her. Talk with her. Spend time having her teach you her language. Expect to watch romantic movies, TLC, cinema one. Get to like HYY on TLC and don't be afraid to admit you watch HYY for the dancing girls.

Rice cooker and proper rice is extremely important. Be prepared for food she may not like. And be patient on her trying American food. It will take some time. And be ready to eat Filipino food from time to time.

Tell her good morning sayo (this commercial stucnk in my head) or muyen butag angel ko. We have family in town. So spends a lot of time with "mama fey" (grandma fey)

Get her involved with your friends. Take her to your office and show her what you do. Tell her you love her every day. Ask her to marry you every day. Tell her, and her family you cannot live without her, and if she left you would miss her very much. Let her talk to family and friends. But also show you care and want to know.

teach her the "americanisms": skinny-dipping, moonshine, wearing a baseball cap, sneakers, driving in lanes, horns not honking, traffic lights, pedistrian right of way, cost of food, Frozen foods, refrigerator, cost of data over a smartphone, monthly billing, no security at stores or malls. Drive-thru. Tacos, burritos. get involved in a church, or find a local catholic church for her. Show interest in her.

Darren you make it sound like piney women still live in 14th century. Plus when a woman knows,she knows what to expect and what not to expect.I bet ops young bride will not even care about the lack of rice