Is It Paranoia? Advice pls...

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

When I first met my now fiance, she always commented on how she had no reason to ever leave the Philippines, that she was content and never truly wanted to leave. Now that it's about less than a month and it'll be time for her to get on the plane, but for some reason, those words she had said before are coming back into my mind. Maybe it's just the fact that the day is finally here, I don't know and if anyone can give me any advice and perhaps make me feel better or what not, that'd be much appreciated. Thank you! (I'm in the US, she's 24 and I'm about a lil over 6 yrs older than her. not sure if that helps get a better grasp of the situation.)

[Dean_De 61]

When I first met my now fiance, she always commented on how she had no reason to ever leave the Philippines, that she was content and never truly wanted to leave. Now that it's about less than a month and it'll be time for her to get on the plane, but for some reason, those words she had said before are coming back into my mind. Maybe it's just the fact that the day is finally here, I don't know and if anyone can give me any advice and perhaps make me feel better or what not, that'd be much appreciated. Thank you! (I'm in the US, she's 24 and I'm about a lil over 6 yrs older than her. not sure if that helps get a better grasp of the situation.)

Sometimes people are just afraid to be somewhere they are not mostly familiar. Plus the family ties of Filipinos are really that great which is somewhat the reason why its difficult for us to leave. However, if your fiancee cooperated with you in going through the visa process, this just simply mean she is open to possible changes. As they say its better to give things a try. We don't really know what is there ahead of us unless we give it a try.

[kali1229 6]

I'm sorry that those thoughts are coming back to you. Have you talked to her about how she feels now? Maybe her feelings have changed. Don't let the past discourage you from going ahead with your future. Communication is key

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I'm sorry that those thoughts are coming back to you. Have you talked to her about how she feels now? Maybe her feelings have changed. Don't let the past discourage you from going ahead with your future. Communication is key

She doesn't seem at all excited, when I ask her why she isn't, she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question. I'd think she'd be atleast somewhat excited, but yeah, hence why I feel so stressed. :-( I wish I knew if this is a natural feeling. I just need to understand so I can stay excited. Just seems so negative.

Edited July 29, 2011 by Cmptrsdeal

[Dean_De 61]

She doesn't seem at all excited, when I ask her why she isn't, she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question. I'd think she'd be atleast somewhat excited, but yeah, hence why I feel so stressed. :-(

If you don't mind my inquisitiveness...what holds her back from moving to the US? And why even go through the visa process if she isn't really willing? Is she feeling just obliged to do so?

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

If you don't mind my inquisitiveness...what holds her back from moving to the US? And why even go through the visa process if she isn't really willing? Is she feeling just obliged to do so?

She said she's coming but she acts like she'll never go back that much. (Never asked her if she feels obligated, perhaps I should ask her when I talk to her tonight??) I told her I'll let her come back as much as I can. She says that all sounds nice and she's not questioning my promise, but things don't always work out the way you want. So yeah, she's going on a vacation tomorrow island hopping and as soon as she comes back, she's going to do her medical exam and then she's got the interview August 12th. She said she just wants to do what she can with her friends and family while she still has time. Do you at all feel anything for where she's coming or am I the one being paranoid? I appreciate anything u say and will answer as well, just to help me get a better understanding. Thnx!

Edited July 29, 2011 by Cmptrsdeal

[Dean_De 61]

She said she's coming but she acts like she'll never go back that much. (Never asked her if she feels obligated, perhaps I should ask her when I talk to her tonight??) I told her I'll let her come back as much as I can. She says that all sounds nice and she's not questioning my promise, but things don't always work out the way you want. So yeah, she's going on a vacation tomorrow island hopping and as soon as she comes back, she's going to do her medical exam and then she's got the interview August 12th. She said she just wants to do what she can with her friends and family while she still has time. Do you at all feel anything for where she's coming or am I the one being paranoid? I appreciate anything u say and will answer as well, just to help me get a better understanding. Thnx!

I really don't want to judge or not in position to judge...but how long was you in this relationship..and how was your relationship with her?

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I really don't want to judge or not in position to judge...but how long was you in this relationship..and how was your relationship with her?

Over a year, it's been amazing, just the closer it gets to this, just seems getting more stressful for us both. Back when we had still to wait for the NOA2, we enjoyed talking about places to go here in the states and what all we're gonna do and places we're going to see, and what we're going to do on our honeymoon. Idk, but back when time wasn't an issue for her, we were amazing.

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

Over a year, it's been amazing, just the closer it gets to this, just seems getting more stressful for us both. Back when we had still to wait for the NOA2, we enjoyed talking about places to go here in the states and what all we're gonna do and places we're going to see, and what we're going to do on our honeymoon. Idk, but back when time wasn't an issue for her, we were amazing.

We just celebrated our 1 yr July 24

[Dean_De 61]

Over a year, it's been amazing, just the closer it gets to this, just seems getting more stressful for us both. Back when we had still to wait for the NOA2, we enjoyed talking about places to go here in the states and what all we're gonna do and places we're going to see, and what we're going to do on our honeymoon. Idk, but back when time wasn't an issue for her, we were amazing.

Well, filipinos is known to have this PAKIPOT attitude ( hopefully its the cute pakipot ), where they tend to back of initially but later give in . However, communication is the key..have a heart to heart talk

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

Well, filipinos is known to have this PAKIPOT attitude ( hopefully its the cute pakipot ), where they tend to back of initially but later give in . However, communication is the key..have a heart to heart talk

how long have you and yours been together? Never any mood swings like this?? lol, j/k

[Dean_De 61]

how long have you and yours been together? Never any mood swings like this?? lol, j/k

Me and my fiance met online and were friends best buddy as we call ourselves for 5 years since 2003. Then he proposed around 2008 I must admit, pakipot somewhat runs in my blood too...common filipina thing..hahahha!

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

don't understand why she can't seem excited atleast alittle bit, instead of making it seem like u said, an 'obligation'

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I hate to say it but sometimes it seems like she's not happy about coming here and I can't let her come here if that's how she feels, but anytime I bring it up, it's the same excuse, "she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question"

[Cmptrsdeal 76]

I hate to say it but sometimes it seems like she's not happy about coming here and I can't let her come here if that's how she feels, but anytime I bring it up, it's the same excuse, "she says I should think about what she's giving up to move to the US and that should answer my question"