Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Saddle Bronc

Assorted blonde-jokes

4 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

  1. A blonde signed up for skydiving lessons. In the aircraft, the instructor told her to pull the ripcord within 2 seconds of exiting the large door saying "I'll be right behind you". When the moment arrived, the blonde jumped through the door and pulled the ripcord successfully. The instructor, following 3 minutes later, pulled his ripcord as well--which failed, whereupon he plummeted past the student. The blonde then unhooked her chute asking "oh, you wanna race?"
  2. After filling her cart with some cleaners, three boxes of cereal and a $130 pair of trainers, a blonde shopping at a Super-Target went to the register to check-out. The cashier asked her "paper or plastic" to which the blonde replied "rubber". When the cashier looked incredulously at her, the blonde whipped out her chequebook...
  3. In a loan-processing office, the records were organised into packets, which were assigned to the staff and accessible only after the employee typed in (login) password. One staff-member, a blonde and a slow typist, had an abyssmal clearance rate--and a security audit showed she had picked the password "MickeyMinnieDonaldDaisyYogiHeckleJeckleSnaglepussOttawa". When asked why she had chosen such a cumbersome password, the blonde showed a printout of password guidelines which stated "at least 8 characters and at least one capital"
  4. a blonde stood on the bank of a wide fast-flowing river, and asked another blonde who was on the opposite bank "how do I get to the other side", receiving the reply "are you daft? You ARE on the other side"


2005/07/10 I-129F filed for Pras

2005/11/07 I-129F approved, forwarded to NVC--to Chennai Consulate 2005/11/14

2005/12/02 Packet-3 received from Chennai

2005/12/21 Visa Interview Date

2006/04/04 Pras' entry into US at DTW

2006/04/15 Church Wedding at Novi (Detroit suburb), MI

2006/05/01 AOS Packet (I-485/I-131/I-765) filed at Chicago

2006/08/23 AP and EAD approved. Two down, 1.5 to go

2006/10/13 Pras' I-485 interview--APPROVED!

2006/10/27 Pras' conditional GC arrives -- .5 to go (2 yrs to Conditions Removal)

2008/07/21 I-751 (conditions removal) filed

2008/08/22 I-751 biometrics completed

2009/06/18 I-751 approved

2009/07/03 10-year GC received; last 0.5 done!

2009/07/23 Pras files N-400

2009/11/16 My 46TH birthday, Pras N-400 approved

2010/03/18 Pras' swear-in

---------------------------------------------------------------------

As long as the LORD's beside me, I don't care if this road ever ends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
billy_idol_epa_187610g.jpg

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

billy_idol_epa_187610g.jpg

So that's what he meant when he sang, "Dancing with Myself."


IR5

2007-07-27 – Case complete at NVC waiting on the world or at least MTL.

2007-12-19 - INTERVIEW AT MTL, SPLIT DECISION.

2007-12-24-Mom's I-551 arrives, Pop's still in purgatory (AP)

2008-03-11-AP all done, Pop is approved!!!!

tumblr_lme0c1CoS21qe0eclo1_r6_500.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,"What's the matter?" To which she replies..."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl,"Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest."The blonde very calmly states..."No..I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual..."If you need anything just let me know." Well...a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!! He rushes out to her asking,"What's so bad now... are you gonna be okay?? "No..." exclaims the blonde,"I just received a call from my sister and she said that her mother died too!!"

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?

A. A golden retriever


R.I.P Spooky 2004-2015

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...