Assorted blonde-jokes

[Saddle Bronc 124]

1. A blonde signed up for skydiving lessons. In the aircraft, the instructor told her to pull the ripcord within 2 seconds of exiting the large door saying "I'll be right behind you". When the moment arrived, the blonde jumped through the door and pulled the ripcord successfully. The instructor, following 3 minutes later, pulled his ripcord as well--which failed, whereupon he plummeted past the student. The blonde then unhooked her chute asking "oh, you wanna race?"
2. After filling her cart with some cleaners, three boxes of cereal and a $130 pair of trainers, a blonde shopping at a Super-Target went to the register to check-out. The cashier asked her "paper or plastic" to which the blonde replied "rubber". When the cashier looked incredulously at her, the blonde whipped out her chequebook...
3. In a loan-processing office, the records were organised into packets, which were assigned to the staff and accessible only after the employee typed in (login) password. One staff-member, a blonde and a slow typist, had an abyssmal clearance rate--and a security audit showed she had picked the password "MickeyMinnieDonaldDaisyYogiHeckleJeckleSnaglepussOttawa". When asked why she had chosen such a cumbersome password, the blonde showed a printout of password guidelines which stated "at least 8 characters and at least one capital"
4. a blonde stood on the bank of a wide fast-flowing river, and asked another blonde who was on the opposite bank "how do I get to the other side", receiving the reply "are you daft? You ARE on the other side"

[thongd4me 69]

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

So that's what he meant when he sang, "Dancing with Myself."

[spookyturtle 9,465]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,"What's the matter?" To which she replies..."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl,"Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest."The blonde very calmly states..."No..I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual..."If you need anything just let me know." Well...a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!! He rushes out to her asking,"What's so bad now... are you gonna be okay?? "No..." exclaims the blonde,"I just received a call from my sister and she said that her mother died too!!"

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?

A. A golden retriever