Just want to confirm that the I-864 doesn't mean unsecured debt

[givingup 0]

I've got a consultation with a divorce lawyer this week, but I'm freaking out in the meantime.

My husband just got his greencard a few months ago. I'm sad to say that it's just not working out. He seems to have lost his mind or his soul, or both. I've finally had to face facts that this will never work.

I've recently discovered that he has been gambling and I live in a community property state. I'm afraid he is going to get into debt that I can't handle. I'm seeing a lawyer to see what I have to do to officially terminate the union so that I won't be responsible for half of his debt, but I don't know how the I-864 figures in. I'm pretty sure that it only refers to government assistance, not unsecured debt, but I want to make sure.

Any knowledgeable answers appreciated.

I'm trying to gently convince my husband to return to his country. He has threatened to in moments of anger. It will break my heart that our child will be without a father, but the reality is that he isn't much of a father anyway. The love is there, no doubt, but his idea of fathering amounts to little more than that.

And his idea of being a husband? Too depressing to define.

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

Sorry things aren't working out. Under the I-864, you are reposnible to the government for any means tested benefits your husband receives, even after the divorce. But you are not responsible for his gambling or other civil debts. However, depending on the law in your state and whether you have joint accounts etc, you may be responsible for such debt under civil law.

[NickD 203]

Whoever came up with this no-fault divorce law should be shot after a long torturous ordeal in my opinion, no such thing as a no-fault divorce especially when one spouse is blowing all the household money and the other is struggling to keep things together and keep food in the mouths of their children.

Ironically I met this woman that had the same kind of ex I did, totally irresponsible and living a very miserable life, at first we were friends providing each other with moral support, then somehow we fell madly in love with each other and ended up getting married. Wow, life is so different with her.

But to make a long story short, because she was a woman, her courts freed her of all of her husbands debts. Really don't recall anything in my original marriage ceremony that is a contract that spouses are liable for each others debts. My situation was entirely different, even though I had proof of my ex's extreme debts, was not even admissible in our stupid courts. The way it works in Wisconsin, if one spouse creates a huge amount of debts, and there is only one can of beans left, that spouse is entitled to one half of that can of beans.

What really teed me off, is had a legal separation from my ex with a court order that stated I was no longer responsible for any future debts. Between the time of our separation and divorce she ran up another $17,000 in debts. Thought I had an iron clad case in court where I was not liable, but the aggressive attorney found some state statue that I was, they wouldn't even look at my separation court order saying that I wasn't. I had lean put against what property I had left and had to pay it. This shock occurred well after my divorce, while my ex had a good settlement, she instantly blew it so they went after me.

This is all history now, have a very wonderful hardworking wife, that cared about my children like I am caring for hers. We managed to become debt free in six years, build up quite a nest egg. Plus we are in deeply in love with each other. Only hassles we had is with the USCIS, still ongoing, but we are getting through this.

You do have the advantage of being a woman, just find a man hating attorney, and hopefully you will meet the right man, and this phase of your life will always also be history. But I sure know what you are going through, have faith and all will work out.