Help-Please advise

[Delhiguy 0]

Hi,

Ours is a unique situation. My fiancée (American citizen) and I, are of both Indian origin, and come from very conservative families. Her family is completely against us getting married and of course, we do not want to spoil our relationship with them. being here in India, I have applied for B-school for next year but that would only get me there by August of next year if I get through and we would like to be together before that.

Hence we have thought of going for the fiancé visa, though we don’t want to tell her parents about us getting married till I reach there.

1) My question for anyone who has been through the process is whether it is possible for us to go through the whole process, including until getting the Green Card 2 yrs from marriage, without letting her parents know about it. She lives separately but files her income tax along with her Dad's company CA so it would not be possible for us to file taxes collectively later. Please advise.....I have an uncle there who would easily be able to sign the affidavit of support….

2) We had no engagement ceremony as such so don't have pictures of that even though we have enough pictures of us together as documentary evidence of being together. Will this affect our chances?

3) Would be all right for her to only show her passport as citizen proof since her naturalization certificate is not with her and it would take a long time-period to obtain the same?

Please advise....

[gwenneh 7]

If she's a legal adult, she doesn't have to disclose anything to her parents. Period. Deception isn't a great way to start a marriage, but that's your issue, not USCIS's.

Filing income tax would be a problem, even were you to file seperate returns it still has to be marked as "Married Filing Seperately".

Not having pictures of an engagement ceremony probably won't hurt your chances.

A passport is sufficient proof that one is a citizen.

[Delhiguy 0]

If she's a legal adult, she doesn't have to disclose anything to her parents. Period. Deception isn't a great way to start a marriage, but that's your issue, not USCIS's.

Filing income tax would be a problem, even were you to file seperate returns it still has to be marked as "Married Filing Seperately".

Not having pictures of an engagement ceremony probably won't hurt your chances.

A passport is sufficient proof that one is a citizen.

Thanks Gwen, I agree that not letting her parents know is not an ideal thing, and it isn't for us, but I would rather not go into the details of this since its a long story, however, I feel it is the right thing to do, for us. One of the major reasons why they do not want us to go ahead is kind of what you can "racial" but not exaclty. In India, we ahve different communities and the fact is that her parents think that the community I belong to is not good enough, which is a laughable but very truthful fact of Indian traditionalist thinking.

Thanks for the replies, I am sure we will manage the filing of returns pretty easily though.

And if anyone can answer these as well:

1) I am getting confused as to the documents I would require to file at the embassy, so if someone has already done so, please advise so I can have them ready beforehand. I ahve laready gone through the guide section?

2) Do we really need to go through an immigration lawyer since the forms are pretty clear in waht is required and after consulting with one lawyer, I found her information to be outdated in fact?

[CarolineM 0]

You don't NEED a lawyer unless you have a tricky, difficult situation or just don't feel confident enough to do it on your own. Most ppl here DONT use a lawyer. You'll hear stories of those that do, with success, those that do, without success....lawyers who are GREAT, lawyers who stink...

Just is a personal desicion....it can be done easily without one...

[meauxna 15]

I'm going to answer differently, even though I agree in the main with Gwen and karo. Why? Because you're coming from India which is not the UK or Australia.

Others have attempted what you want, maybe even succeeded. BUT, home visits are not uncommon in India (staff from the Consulate come to your neighborhood and question neighbors and family about your relationship). Mail is sent. Appointments are made. Phone calls happen. Couriers appear with documents. Birth and other official documents are required, often after a bribe.

In other words, it is a big secret that is hard to keep.

Especially if you are dealing with a caste issue, I'd recommend that you limit your conversation to others from India at the moment, and see what their individual experiences have been. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I am saying that yours is the kind of case where it *does* matter which country a person has experience with.

Gary Bala is an immigration attorney with a lot of family case experience and India-specific experience.

Finally, from a personal point of view, hiding a relationship does not seem like the best way to start a marriage, expecially an international one where you will face additional hurdles.

Good luck

Edited August 19, 2006 by meauxna

[Delhiguy 0]

Hi Meauxne,

Thanks for the advice, but I just wanted to mention here that its the other way around, I am the foreigner here, in India and my fiancee's parents are the ones we are trying not to notify about this, for now. So, does anyone have any experience where they ahve gone to a USC's parents/family to ask questions?

And thanks everyone, for the help, and like I said I agree with the deception bit, but dont want to go into the long description of why we are doing so as of now...maybe someday

Niten

[gugu24 0]

Remmember USCIS has nothing to do with the disclosure to the parents. But the most important thing is the interview. Any south asian country has values and family realtionships. we know that marraige without parents agreement is considered as mutiny without considration where ever it is being held. now when you would appear for an interview the consular would ask the first thing what abt your families. where are their pictures. if you say they are not agreed and its our own decision then definatly its gonna be a problem. remmember the consular officer of each countyr is breifed about the socail setup of that specific country. i dont think so that consular off would see your marriage in a good faith espacily when your UNCLE is providing the affadavit of support instead of the USC family member.

[meauxna 15]

Hi Meauxne,

Thanks for the advice, but I just wanted to mention here that its the other way around, I am the foreigner here, in India and my fiancee's parents are the ones we are trying not to notify about this, for now. So, does anyone have any experience where they ahve gone to a USC's parents/family to ask questions?

And thanks everyone, for the help, and like I said I agree with the deception bit, but dont want to go into the long description of why we are doing so as of now...maybe someday

Niten

Oops, sorry about that Delhiguy.

So, you can eliminate the concern about a home visit and the papers you'll need from India. I still think it's a big secret that is hard to keep.

You've identified the tax filing issue. This will not go away. Tax season is January thru April, so if her marital status changes, it will come up then. Filing as 'single' when one is 'married' would be a problem.

The lack of an engagement ceremony will raise questions at *your* Consulate. Especially if your fiancee is a naturalized local; you know this is an important part of custom. You could be questioned on this, and the visa can be held up when something like this is out of the ordinary. You will be dealing with a lot of intervention from the FSO (local workers) at the Consulates, from what I've read from India.

I haven't double checked this, but I believe that naturalized citz must also include a copy of their certificate as proof of citz. It cost several hundred dollars and about a year to replace. If hers is locked in a family safety depost box, it will be hard to overcome that.

OK, I just double checked after looking at Gwen's answer again.. the I-129f says that if you are naturalized, you must include a copy of your certificate.

Finally, I reiterate my point about the deception. I just don't think it's the right way to go, and that's on a personal level. Again, chat with some members from India.

Do some thinking; maybe you can find a better solution.