Learning my fiancee 's culture

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Here's some things that just throw me off:

He for she and her for him - bloody hell, I understand why she does it but please make it stop!

VERBS - to her, past, present and future tense verbs are interchangeable. Example: "He eat it all."

Location adverbs - in, on, under, near, below, around - she rarely ever gets these right. Example: "My keys are on my purse."

Telling me where something is - Example: "Honey, do you know where the flashlight is?" Her answer: "It's just there!"

Edited September 10, 2010 by El Buscador

[sachinky 464]

Location adverbs? You mean prepositions?

[tallcoolone 102]

What about pointing to something and they use their lips instead of thier fingers....

[Krikit 1,163]

Here is another great thing (If Your Male) in PI.

You can bag as many girls as your heart desires. You can get 10 girls a year pregnant, and you don't have to take responsibility for any kids

That's hardly something to be proud of.

[jrmejia 31]

[

Telling me where something is - Example: "Honey, do you know where the flashlight is?" Her answer: "It's just there!"

That one is kind of funny

But we love and respect them.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Location adverbs? You mean prepositions?

Yes - those.

[april082010 3]

She knows he vs she but she keeps calling her bro 'she ' and her sister 'he'. I just alert her with a smile..and she goes *oopppss*.

Yes we get a little confused sometimes what to use specially the "his/her" thing that you're talking about. For example"his mom" or "her dad" we get all mixed up to whom we are addressing to, when it is male to female or vice versa. So it's better to mention the name of the person to avoid confusion.. like "Pedro's mom" or "Maria's dad" maybe?

There so many other things you would discover, we don't usually used knife when we are eating.. Some Filipina's don't like using dishwasher and prefer hand wash because they believe it's more clean.

Sometimes it's hard for us to refuse when being invited or offered something good we can't just say "no' straightforward.

Maybe other members here have some more views to share.. You have to read more of the Filipino culture so you'll get to know more about her beliefs and understand her...

[jrmejia 31]

Yes we get a little confused sometimes what to use specially the "his/her" thing that you're talking about. For example"his mom" or "her dad" we get all mixed up to whom we are addressing to, when it is male to female or vice versa. So it's better to mention the name of the person to avoid confusion.. like "Pedro's mom" or "Maria's dad" maybe?

There so many other things you would discover, we don't usually used knife when we are eating.. Some Filipina's don't like using dishwasher and prefer hand wash because they believe it's more clean.

Sometimes it's hard for us to refuse when being invited or offered something good we can't just say "no' straightforward.

Maybe other members here have some more views to share.. You have to read more of the Filipino culture so you'll get to know more about her beliefs and understand her...

My has very good etiquette. She is very formal at the dinning table. Well, I noticed when we spent so much time on my trip to see her. It is some of the words she uses that I find it so so so so cute. I adore her and can not wait to see her here.

Oppss..come to think about. I cannot use the phrase " i can't wait " she will say..why you can not wait???... I usually say "I can't wait" when I am very excited about something and want to see result pronto.

[David and Jean 0]

Hello all, I enjoy reading some of your comments and experiences with Filipino culture and English culture interactions. There will, no doubt, be a lot for me to learn as well since my 'to be' wife is a filipina. I am curious, does your filipina trim your nails and cut the food on your plate? I found this to be unusual as I have never experienced it before. I think it is sweet.

I also notice the language usage difference as well. The pronunciation of the vowels throws me off too. - Dave

[Atencio 43]

My wife always goes uh-uh when she means yes. She also switch's pro nouns a lot. What is weird is she only does it when speaking, never in her writing. When she tries to teach me words in Cebuano or Tagalog I always mess them up enough that they come sounding like dirty words.

[sunandmoon 450]

Here is another great thing (If Your Male) in PI.

You can bag as many girls as your heart desires. You can get 10 girls a year pregnant, and you don't have to take responsibility for any kids

maybe a reason for the fvcked up law.

[Pinay Wife 47]

Sexist post and a post quoting it removed. Any other comment of a similar nature by the same poster will result in that poster being banned from this thread.

Edited September 11, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[rlogan 2,036]

The way we avoid trouble is by speaking in complete sentences. My wife was very lazy about communication with a lot of one-word responses or even just grunts. The OP asked his filipina a poorly worded question where the opportunity for "yes/no" confusion was high. I wasn't doing that. Even in cases where I specifically structured questions to avoid that my wife seemed to be able to make ambiguous responses. Clarity of communication just wasn't important to her. You find that in a lot of third world countries with lower education, poverty, and nothing to do with their time.

But if the response is "Yes, I do not have enough money to go to the movies" or "No, I do not have enough money to go to the movies" then the complete sentence ensures there is no misunderstanding.

It might be cute in the beginning but a 24/7 communication problem where you can't even figure out what "yes" or "no" means quickly devolves into resentment and not communicating at all.

Personally, I found it extremely annoying and if she hadn't knocked it off and started speaking in complete sentences then I would have found someone else who felt I was worth the effort.

[Pinay Wife 47]

He for she and her for him - bloody hell, I understand why she does it but please make it stop!

I myself do not understand our confusion with the pronouns but here's a good explanation from Wiki as to why Filipinos have a hard time with the he/she pronoun.

x x x All languages allow the speaker to specify whether one is talking about a male or female, but some languages do not require the speaker to make that choice as an intrinsic part of the language.^[2] In some languages, pronouns do not distinguish between genders, so gender equity of pronouns is not relevant. This category includes many East Asian languages x x x

I consider myself to have a good grasp of the English language but I still commit the same "he/she" mistake when I speak. Filipinos use the non-gender specific "siya" when we talk about a person (we don't distinguish he or she). Siya ay maganda (She is pretty) or Siya ay magandang lalaki (He is handsome). We do not have a special name for son or daughter, both are called "anak" (child) in our language (if you need to be gender specific, you have to say "anak na babae" or "anak na lalaki" (child that is girl, child that is boy), mother-in-law and father-in-law are both called "biyenan", sons and daughters-in-law are both called "manugang", etc.

This is the reason why when we speak in English, it takes conscious effort to take into consideration the gender of the person we are talking about. Our brain is just not programmed to process the gender of the person being talked about for the simple reason that our language does not distinguish between sex.

Have a little more patience, dear American husbands. It is not easy to learn the nuances of another language. How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us. Annoy us with your mistakes hehe

Edited September 11, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[sojen 0]

I myself do not understand our confusion with the pronouns but here's a good explanation from Wiki as to why Filipinos have a hard time with the he/she pronoun.

x x x All languages allow the speaker to specify whether one is talking about a male or female, but some languages do not require the speaker to make that choice as an intrinsic part of the language.^[2] In some languages, pronouns do not distinguish between genders, so gender equity of pronouns is not relevant. This category includes many East Asian languages x x x

I consider myself to have a good grasp of the English language but I still commit the same "he/she" problem when I speak. Filipinos use the non-gender specific "siya" when we talk about a person (we don't distinguish he or she). Siya ay maganda (She is pretty) or Siya ay magandang lalaki (He is handsome). We do not have a special name for son or daughter, both are called "anak" (child) in our language (if you need to be gender specific, you have to say "anak na babae" or "anak na lalaki" (child that is girl, child that is boy), mother-in-law and father-in-law are both called "biyenan", sons and daughters-in-law are both called "manugang", etc.

This is the reason why when we speak in English, it takes conscious effort to take into consideration the gender of the person we are talking about. Our brain is just not programmed to process the gender of the person being talked about for the simple reason that our language does not distinguish between sex.

Have a little more patience, dear American husbands. It is not easy to learn the nuances of another language. How about you learn Tagalog so you can even the score with us. Annoy us with your mistakes hehe

Well said!!!.... :yes: :yes: