A qusestion to men who would pay for sex...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I like sex. Does that make me a prostitute?

Nope. But if you start using sex to get what you want...

[Peikko 1,575]

Perhaps it boils down to this, some people value fidelity and prefer relationships where sexuality is confined to relationships that are part of a more rounded partnership and others see no value in fidelity and have no preference in terms of having sex as part of a partnership and see sex as an extension of who they are so that sex is very much something that can be enjoyed without any other strings attached. However, what I don't quite see is how that fits in with one person paying another person for sex when the person being paid has no desire to perform the sex act with the person who pays - that is where I divide what is prostitution and what is an expression of sexual personality.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What if you're having sex with a guy and he asks for buttsecks in return for you giving him buttsecks with a strap on? Is that prostitution?

Turnabout is fair play.

[Amby 490]

I'm happy someone is finally answering my serious questions about prostitution.

[DEDixon 39]

I'm curious about why you don't think it is wrong, and why you don't seem to want to address that - except to imply legality is the only consideration. Or that the moral/ethical side of things has more to do with the provider than with you.

i think it is sex between consenting adults. simple as that really.

in my situation, instead of frequenting providers, i could have trolled match.com and the like for sex like a lot of guys do. i could have told women what i thought they wanted to hear to get laid.

instead of spilling out lies, i instead choose a provider who didn't expect anything other than cash and i didn't have to lie in anyway. no wine and dine and no lies. if i wasn't ready for a relationship and i wanted sex, i felt by frequenting providers, i was taking the high road.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Is it prostitution if you continue sleeping with a guy because the sex is good and he lets you use his vacation home whenever you want?

Yes. And you need to claim the value of the use of his vacation home on your income tax return. If the sex is BAD and you still continue to do it, then you have to claim DOUBLE the value of the vacation home rental.

[Amby 490]

I like DEDixon! You are a good man! I like your style

Yes. And you need to claim the value of the use of his vacation home on your income tax return. If the sex is BAD and you still continue to do it, then you have to claim DOUBLE the value of the vacation home rental.

pffft

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

What if you're having sex with a guy and he asks for buttsecks in return for you giving him buttsecks with a strap on? Is that prostitution?

No. That is Friday night.

[Ban Hammer 14,638]

You are free to answer questions as you see fit Charles, no one is holding any guns to your head. If you choose not to, that's perfectly ok, but in case you don't get it, I asked because I am interested in what you really think about prostitution (as per the specific question posted in the OP - not some other question about being a porn star which is different) if the prostitute is a member of your immediate family (and a hypothetical child is as good a close relative as any) and if there is any discomfort about a member of the immediate family being one, how does that square with those who use prostitutes. However, you don't want to discuss it further, and that is your choice.

The only person who has volunteered, very bravely, that they use prostitutes has used the argument that if the woman chooses to sell her body, who is he to argue with that choice? I find that a strange way to justify one's own actions.

i think quite a bit of that has already been answered, and i don't really feel like repeating myself for your benefit.

Edited July 24, 2010 by charles!

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

i think it is sex between consenting adults. simple as that really.

in my situation, instead of frequenting providers, i could have trolled match.com and the like for sex like a lot of guys do. i could have told women what i thought they wanted to hear to get laid.

instead of spilling out lies, i instead choose a provider who didn't expect anything other than cash and i didn't have to lie in anyway. no wine and dine and no lies. if i wasn't ready for a relationship and i wanted sex, i felt by frequenting providers, i was taking the high road.

I don't know how you could ever know that it's truly consensual.

[Peikko 1,575]

i think it is sex between consenting adults. simple as that really.

in my situation, instead of frequenting providers, i could have trolled match.com and the like for sex like a lot of guys do. i could have told women what i thought they wanted to hear to get laid.

instead of spilling out lies, i instead choose a provider who didn't expect anything other than cash and i didn't have to lie in anyway. no wine and dine and no lies. if i wasn't ready for a relationship and i wanted sex, i felt by frequenting providers, i was taking the high road.

Here's the rub for me personally. While there are some men who seem perfectly willing to believe that 'most' prostitutes are prostitutes because they enjoy sex so much they want to share themselves with as many men as possible and don't see why they should not benefit financially and get paid in order to do so (and not something I have any problem with at all), in my opinion, such women are in fact extremely rare. I would estimate that the majority of prostitutes don't actually enjoy the sex at all, and are waiting for each act to be over in order to get the money, and have plans to leave the profession just as soon as they become economically stable. Now, to me, regardless of whether it is legal or not, that strikes me as unsatisfactory and of dubious ethics because a woman who is doing it just for the money and who would change profession if she could is doing it because she is economically forced into the position not because she genuinely chooses that profession.

Now, again, I am sorry this is directed toward you as the one male who has volunteered to talk about this openly, and feel free to ignore it if you had enough of answering the questions, you have been very generous with your time thus far.

i think quite a bit of that has already been answered, and i don't really feel like repeating myself for your benefit.

Then don't answer it. Geez Charles, get over yourself already, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not trying to force you to say things you don't want to say? You didn't answer the prostitution question, you answered the porn question. That's fine - now run along if you have nothing else to contribute.

[DEDixon 39]

Jaded?

Also, why would an 'independent soul choose to marry because they were pitied by a client?

Why can't they be 'trusted'? Surely, if sex is just sex, then it is always 'just sex' whether one is in or out of a relationship?

Sorry, I don't mean to pick on you - feel free not to answer anything you don't feel like answering, but you are the only person being open and honest enough to answer the question from the perspective of a former client.

jaded - i can't define it. if you are around providers for any length of time, that's is the word that springs to mind.

i didn't mean to say they can't be trusted. i meant to say that men have trust issues when they know that they are in a relationship with a former provider. men think they can deal with it, but in the end, sometimes it is difficult to trust a former provider who is not where she can be seen. no, it isn't just sex if you are in a real relationship with a former provider. once the relationship starts, it is like any other, same expectations. also, i didn't mention that the provider is also just as untrusting of her new 'ex-client' partner. he just might find a provider one day when she isn't looking. major trust issues all the way around.

[Amby 490]

Is it prostition if a guy purchases a sheep for the sole purpose of sex?

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Here's the rub for me personally. While there are some men who seem perfectly willing to believe that 'most' prostitutes are prostitutes because they enjoy sex so much they want to share themselves with as many men as possible and don't see why they should not benefit financially and get paid in order to do so (and not something I have any problem with at all), in my opinion, such women are in fact extremely rare. I would estimate that the majority of prostitutes don't actually enjoy the sex at all, and are waiting for each act to be over in order to get the money, and have plans to leave the profession just as soon as they become economically stable. Now, to me, regardless of whether it is legal or not, that strikes me as unsatisfactory and of dubious ethics because a woman who is doing it just for the money and who would change profession if she could is doing it because she is economically forced into the position not because she genuinely chooses that profession.

I would think that prostitution is a short term thing for many women who go into it. I would think that most of the ones who stay in it long term merely become very good at acting as if they enjoy it.

Edited July 24, 2010 by Its a MADHOUSE

[DEDixon 39]

I like DEDixon! You are a good man! I like your style

thanks!