Superficiality and the Greencard

[Fandango 1,440]

It still doesn't change what you're attracted to. It's the same thing how some skinny guys are attracted to large women or how some skinny women are attracted to larger guys even.

We all have that body type that makes us smile/pay attention..

True, but what about in cases where the USC is just a minger, yet always goes on and on about how hot his/her spouse is. What are they saying about themselves, if the main trait they brag about is physical attractiveness, when they themselves clearly don't posses it?

And in cases where the sh!t well and truly hits the fan, and they're stuck in an i184 nightmare....should they get sympathy for at least 'trying to grab the brass ring' or should they get mocked for trying to reach 'too high'

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I was just reading several threads (which shall remain nameless) where fraud was clear from the get go. And in several of these threads, it seems that the USC has either commented on his/her physical features/situation 'I'm heavy set, middle aged' etc. Or there's pictures where the beneficiary was clearly wayyy hotter than the OP.

I really don't want this to be a flame war, but it's no secret that the prospect of a GC is an equalizer in many relationships where people get married to others whom they clearly don't even know inside and out. I am NOT referring to everyone here, just on the extreme cases. I posted this in OT because I don't want to kick anyone while they're down by posting it in the Effects forum. I have always had a theory that some of the older modest looking men on here would find life long bliss with the older modest looking women here. Yet it seems neither want each other, and both gravitate towards younger, hotter, foreign born SOs. Each claims to want 'family values/etc' yet, I find they each put looks ahead of that in terms of significance. The men put looks above substance, claiming American women are all golddiggers, yet accomplished American women will petition men with no money and hand them whatever they want. When it all blows up in flames, each claims the partner was 'Americanized' or something similar.

Anyone else find that strange? Why are looks so damned important when choosing a spouse???

Look around the country to find out. I lived in Ukraine. It is not at all unusual for younger Ukrainian women to marry older Ukrainian men and almost NONE will marry a man younger than her. Ukrainina woemn prefer men that are less attravtive than them so they will not "chase other girls". In a society where a man can easily date/live with/marry or just have sex with as many women as he wants who are much younger than him, the woman has to offer something pretty special to keep him around. Marrying a man of the same age is nearly a certain sign of doom in the future. They are not concerned with "superficiality" they want a man that provides a stable home for them and their children. They want a man that does not have "bad habits". Does a 22 year old woman have any idea if a 23 year old man will become an alcoholic? But if a man is 45, has a business and is not alcoholic...THAT is a prize! They are not a materialisis society, at least until recently maybe.

Looks? Important? Why not? Women with good personalities are a dime a dozen, at least in some cultures if not in the USA where they are expected to do things women are not suited for, so why not choose one with good looks? I consider that it makes my wife's future more secure...she is the best I will ever get...where am I going? It is for HER that I chose a hot wife. More stability for her. Besides it makes me a happier kinda guy and that makes for domestic tranquility, we hardly ever have a disagreement and I never say "bad words". But I am a selfless kinda guy like that, another thing that she couldn't resist.

PS Alla doesn't work, except for some occasional modeling, translations, interpretatios etc. so the green card is really not a big attraction to her and her lifestyle is virtually identical here.

Edited July 13, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[Heracles 417]

Realistically, how or why is this any different from girls here who marry thug douche-bags that are not good looking? Turned on by the bad guy and that #######. Or athletes that are not 'good looking' but clearly making the bucks.

Edited July 13, 2010 by Booyah!

[Fandango 1,440]

Look around the country to find out. I lived in Ukraine. It is not at all unusual for younger Ukrainian women to marry older Ukrainian men and almost NONE will marry a man younger than her. Ukrainina woemn prefer men that are less attravtive than them so they will not "chase other girls". In a society where a man can easily date/live with/marry or just have sex with as many women as he wants who are much younger than him, the woman has to offer something pretty special to keep him around. Marrying a man of the same age is nearly a certain sign of doom in the future. They are not concerned with "superficiality" they want a man that provides a stable home for them and their children. They want a man that does not have "bad habits". Does a 22 year old woman have any idea if a 23 year old man will become an alcoholic? But if a man is 45, has a business and is not alcoholic...THAT is a prize! They are not a materialisis society, at least until recently maybe.

So the security is the 'equalizer', thus my point.

Looks? Important? Why not? Women with good personalities are a dime a dozen, at least in some cultures if not in the USA where they are expected to do things women are not suited for, so why not choose one with good looks? I consider that it makes my wife's future more secure...she is the best I will ever get...where am I going? It is for HER that I chose a hot wife. More stability for her. Besides it makes me a happier kinda guy and that makes for domestic tranquility, we hardly ever have a disagreement and I never say "bad words". But I am a selfless kinda guy like that, another thing that she couldn't resist.

So you wouldn't cheat on Alla just because she's the hottest woman you've been with? So you're saying she exchanged marrying a hotter man who could get hotter women for security of knowing a man will be faithful to her?

[^_^ 5,021]

Realistically, how or why is this any different from girls here who marry thug douche-bags that are not good looking?

You like men who look like girls?

[Fandango 1,440]

Realistically, how or why is this any different from girls here who marry thug douche-bags that are not good looking? Turned on by the bad guy and that #######. Or athletes that are not 'good looking' but clearly making the bucks.

it's really not, it's just the USC has more to lose, or more hassle in protecting him/herself when things go up in smoke. So broaden the discussion if you wish!

[mawilson 2,133]

But what does that say about a relationship IF there needs to be an equalizer?

That's it's not based on love? Plenty of those and who are we to judge?

[Fandango 1,440]

That's it's not based on love? Plenty of those and who are we to judge?

I'm not judging, I just can't understand it, because for me, there would be no marriage without love.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

True, but what about in cases where the USC is just a minger, yet always goes on and on about how hot his/her spouse is. What are they saying about themselves, if the main trait they brag about is physical attractiveness, when they themselves clearly don't posses it?

And in cases where the sh!t well and truly hits the fan, and they're stuck in an i184 nightmare....should they get sympathy for at least 'trying to grab the brass ring' or should they get mocked for trying to reach 'too high'

Well, everyone can appreciate and approve of another's attractiveness or be happy they have such an attractive spouse. To some it's even relative. A person can be "hot" to one person and clearly not to another. I know a couple of guys who say they have hot wives, but I think it's the love talking.. That or they are smoking some really good ###### that makes them hallucinate.

To the second point: What's the difference when ###### hits the fan in an immigration case versus a golddigger, a moment of thinking you were after something you weren't, a moment of things just not working out how you thought they did, etc....

[Heracles 417]

it's really not, it's just the USC has more to lose, or more hassle in protecting him/herself when things go up in smoke. So broaden the discussion if you wish!

I think some know that they are basically getting a trophy spouse, while others are just oblivious. The fact is for a hell of a lot of people in this world, marriage to someone in a first world country is a ticket for them and possibly their family to a much much better life. Which is also why it kills me that unlike other immigration systems, US immigration treats someone from Japan or Canada the same as a spouse from Sudan.

Edited July 13, 2010 by Booyah!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So the security is the 'equalizer', thus my point.

So you wouldn't cheat on Alla just because she's the hottest woman you've been with? So you're saying she exchanged marrying a hotter man who could get hotter women for security of knowing a man will be faithful to her?

Yes, her words almost exactly. That is why she prefers older men "not so beautiful". 10-15 years older is "ideal". To her, the physical beauty of the man is very low on the list of characteristics she looks for, not unlike LOTS of women in her culture. What is wrong with security? If you are going to commit everything to a person for the rest of your life, you bet, security is very attractive. Ukrainian women have a very strong sense of family and want a strong family for their children, they want a strong and reliable man to provide a good future for their children. What is wrong with that? Ukrainian women aslo tend to be very faithful to their husbands as long as he is a good husband. Be a good husband to a Ukrainian woman and she will do anything which does not kill her to please you and will never risk her happy home which they value above all else.

She doesn't need to work, the green card is fairly meaningless to her, we have a place in Ukraine also so we could just as easily live there (and do for part of the year) so there really is no reason for there to be "green card fraud" at least in our case.

[^_^ 5,021]

+1 for you, Gary. Gotta show you some love cuz no one else will:lol:

[faithinGod 8]

Look around the country to find out. I lived in Ukraine. It is not at all unusual for younger Ukrainian women to marry older Ukrainian men and almost NONE will marry a man younger than her. Ukrainina woemn prefer men that are less attravtive than them so they will not "chase other girls". In a society where a man can easily date/live with/marry or just have sex with as many women as he wants who are much younger than him, the woman has to offer something pretty special to keep him around. Marrying a man of the same age is nearly a certain sign of doom in the future. They are not concerned with "superficiality" they want a man that provides a stable home for them and their children. They want a man that does not have "bad habits". Does a 22 year old woman have any idea if a 23 year old man will become an alcoholic? But if a man is 45, has a business and is not alcoholic...THAT is a prize! They are not a materialisis society, at least until recently maybe.

Looks? Important? Why not? Women with good personalities are a dime a dozen, at least in some cultures if not in the USA where they are expected to do things women are not suited for, so why not choose one with good looks? I consider that it makes my wife's future more secure...she is the best I will ever get...where am I going? It is for HER that I chose a hot wife. More stability for her. Besides it makes me a happier kinda guy and that makes for domestic tranquility, we hardly ever have a disagreement and I never say "bad words". But I am a selfless kinda guy like that, another thing that she couldn't resist.

PS Alla doesn't work, except for some occasional modeling, translations, interpretatios etc. so the green card is really not a big attraction to her and her lifestyle is virtually identical here.

At first glance your post seems to make sense but if you think twice... young hot female is not gonna marry a old man unless he`s loaded and a rich old man is not going to be faithfull just because his wife is young.If he is faithfull it is because it`s in his nature.Same with alcohol.Then why not marry a young man that doesn`t f**k around and doesn`t drink simply because he doesn`t have that in him?

[^_^ 5,021]

...why not marry a young man that doesn`t f**k around and doesn`t drink simply because he doesn`t have that in him?

A young man who doesn't fu## around could be a young man who doesn't fu## around or he could also be a young man who does fu## around but is wayyyyy smarter than you are.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm not judging, I just can't understand it, because for me, there would be no marriage without love.

"Love" does not exist in a vaccuum, unless some woman just has a vacuum between her ears. There are REASONS you love someone and there is nothing wrong with that. There are REASONS NOT to love someone also.

Ukrainian women have very practical reasons for loving someone. American women seem to have much less practifcal reasons. I will compare the divorce rate of American men/Ukrainian women with American/American marriages any day of the week.