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Is there any way I can find out if my USC husband divorced me?

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
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My USC (ex) husband and I got married last year at September 2009. Things were great, he even visited me here in Manila during Christmas2009/New Year 2010 and his birthday last March 2010. A lot of things have happened during his visits. Each visit was a cycle of a great happy beginning, a frustrating and traumatic middle, and a teary ending as we've made up plus he'll be leaving. I also saw a revelation of his true colors...he was unusually always in a hurry, was verbally abusive to me, was most of the time angry and get infuriated over small things that upset him... I remember he told me, "Don't worry, I'll treat you better when you're here ("here" meaning when I'm with him in the US). I was disturbed by this statement but I just shrugged it off.

Each visit was like that every time, it really drained me during he was here...

I attempted to leave him twice on those visits, but he would woo me back and win me over. I'd give him a chance.

When he left last April 2010 (this was the end of his March-April 2010 visit), we were doing great. And then I slowly felt the change in him by mid to late May. His calls were less frequent, he would chat in YM rather than call, I rarely hear him say "i love you" or say "baby". My visa application status by then was at NVC and we already had a case number. He said that, he'd "delay" our application for now and wait at most a year before he'll bring me there. I was shocked at his statement but did not contradict him as he was also settling some major legal problems in the US. I felt hurt and sad...I wanted to be with him despite what happened every time he visited me. He was always in a hurry to bring me with him and now, he was slowing it down.

By early June 2010, he was blowing off hot and cold. I cannot even be affectionate to him equally. If I say "I love you", he'd act as if he did not hear anything. If he was the one saying it, then I was supposed to respond. He'd always bring back the past over and over. He was very resentful and would send me ambush hate emails. What's weird is, he'd say that today and tomorrow he'd act as if nothing happened. So it really sucks because I cannot even bring it up to him as it would start an argument.

A few weeks ago, he sent me another hate mail after asking him how his job interview was plus another email reminding him of his phone bill. His reply was mean...cruel...and sarcastic. He told me I wasn't his wife, f***you, yada yada, go care for someone else. I remember tears falling from my eyes like heavy rainfall as I was reading it...

Once again, the next day, he'd act as if nothing happened. He replied he'd pay for the phone line but he NEVER did. I was so upset with him that I ignored all his calls the next few days. And then he stopped calling. I did not bother him anymore since I felt we(my daughter and I) were not important to him. So we made few final emails but he'd reply sarcastically and the freak also said that "I AM NOT A BAD PERSON. ALL I DID WAS GIVE." And another email that said that he would be calling NVC and tell them that I'm relinquishing my visa app. I did not care about the visa anymore if that meant being with him...So we separated, we just gave up on each other...We have no contact whatsoever for 5 days already...

I apologize if I gave quite a lengthy intro plus my story before I bring up my questions:

1. Since my ex and I have separated in not so good terms, is there any way I can find out if he divorced me? My bestfriend who's also a US citizen told me before that he can divorce me anytime without my knowledge in the United States. Is there anyway too that I can secure the documents if I find out he did? My ex lives in San Jose, California.

2. I intend to have my marriage ANNULED...but I am not in a hurry. Can anyone recommend a good (proven) lawyer for a case like this? And I hope not too expensive.

3. If anyone in here has the same story as I do, can you please narrate to me how you handled your situation? By the way, I have no child/children from him.

4. How can I find out if he already terminated our visa application in NVC?

Thanks in advance.


----VISA JOURNEY ENDS----

It is great to love, but also guard your heart...

As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.

-- Julia Butterfly Hill

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

By the way, we got married in the Philippines.

If my husband wants to marry from someone int he US, I think he should divorce me even if we're married in the Philippines. I am not sure about the laws on these.

Please help me. thanks.

By the way, we were married in the Philippines....


----VISA JOURNEY ENDS----

It is great to love, but also guard your heart...

As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.

-- Julia Butterfly Hill

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hi i am sorry for what had happened to u.... its really sad.. hope someone can give u good advice here about ur quiry... just always pray and God will hear u... stay strong...

godsgift :)

if ur planning to annul ur marriage to him u can PM me.. i just did the process of annulment.. :yes:


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June 05, 2017: Biometric Done
June 19, 2017: Case is in Line for an Interview
June 25, 2018: USCIS Scheduled an Interview
Aug. 02, 2018: Interview Date- APPROVED!
Aug. 09, 2018: Oath Ceremony

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You are entitled to due process of the law which means you have to be notified of a divorce which is a legal process. I don't think he can get a divorce without telling you unless he claims abandonment and does not know of any way to contact you. I guess he could lie about this. It is near impossible to find out easily if he divorced you as divorce documents at least in California are handled and stored by County Courthouses. I would try his county first. What you can do is pay one of the websites that will let you access court records or pay someone (like a public investigator) to do research for you. The other thing to do is hire a lawyer in California to help you. Maybe find a Filipino one that may be sympathetic to your situation. The first thing to do is find out if you are divorced or not. California recognizes Filipino marriages so you have some leverage if he is trying to blow you off. Part of me says put the screws to him for spousal support, the other part is to get an annulment for abandonment if possible to do in the Philippines.

Either way he sounds like a piece of work, I wish you and your daughter the best.


April 24, 2010: Married in Butuan City
May 23, 2010: Submitted I-130
May 28, 2010: NOA-1 Received
October 19, 2010: NOA-2 Received
October 26, 2010: Case Number Assigned
October 28, 2010: IIN Received
November 3, 2010: AOS paid
November 5, 2010: AOS status "PAID". Sent AOS packet
November 6, 2010: DS-3032 email received. Emailed DS-3032
November 8, 2010: IV paid, DS-3032 accepted
November 10, 2010: IV status "PAID". Sent IV packet
November 15, 2010: IV received at NVC
November 22, 2010: False Checklist for missing DS-230
November 29, 2010: AOS + IV entered into system
December 4, 2010: SIF, Case Completed
December 6, 2010: Interview Scheduled
December 27-28, 2010: Passed Physical
January 6, 2011: Interview @ 0830 Approved
January 14, 2011: Visa received
January 31, 2011: CFO seminar completed
February 11, 2011: POE- LAX

Removal of Conditions
January 8, 2013: Mailed I-751
January 10,2013: NOA1
February 6, 2013: Biometrics Appoint.

June 4, 2013: Received I-797 NOA removal of conditions
_____________________________________________________________________________
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

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By the way, we got married in the Philippines.

If my husband wants to marry from someone int he US, I think he should divorce me even if we're married in the Philippines. I am not sure about the laws on these.

Please help me. thanks.

By the way, we were married in the Philippines....

Yes, he can not get remarried unless he gets a divorce or annulment, legally. In practice though, he could get remarried and no one would ever find out.


April 24, 2010: Married in Butuan City
May 23, 2010: Submitted I-130
May 28, 2010: NOA-1 Received
October 19, 2010: NOA-2 Received
October 26, 2010: Case Number Assigned
October 28, 2010: IIN Received
November 3, 2010: AOS paid
November 5, 2010: AOS status "PAID". Sent AOS packet
November 6, 2010: DS-3032 email received. Emailed DS-3032
November 8, 2010: IV paid, DS-3032 accepted
November 10, 2010: IV status "PAID". Sent IV packet
November 15, 2010: IV received at NVC
November 22, 2010: False Checklist for missing DS-230
November 29, 2010: AOS + IV entered into system
December 4, 2010: SIF, Case Completed
December 6, 2010: Interview Scheduled
December 27-28, 2010: Passed Physical
January 6, 2011: Interview @ 0830 Approved
January 14, 2011: Visa received
January 31, 2011: CFO seminar completed
February 11, 2011: POE- LAX

Removal of Conditions
January 8, 2013: Mailed I-751
January 10,2013: NOA1
February 6, 2013: Biometrics Appoint.

June 4, 2013: Received I-797 NOA removal of conditions
_____________________________________________________________________________
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

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1. Since my ex and I have separated in not so good terms, is there any way I can find out if he divorced me? My bestfriend who's also a US citizen told me before that he can divorce me anytime without my knowledge in the United States. Is there anyway too that I can secure the documents if I find out he did? My ex lives in San Jose, California.

The divorce laws are different in every state, and I am not familiar with the divorce laws in California, but I doubt if your husband has divorced you because he has not had enough time yet to do so. Even an uncontested divorce takes time. You could probably find out if he is divorcing you by contacting the county clerk in the county he lives in, because that is likely where he would file for divorce. San Jose is located in Santa Clara County. Santa Clara County is where you could get a copy of any divorce documents.

In the State of Washington, where I live, it is possible to divorce someone without that person ever knowing it. It involves placing a notice in the local newspaper for a number of weeks in order to notify you of an impending divorce. This is done in place of serving the papers to you. Since you would not see the notice, you would have no way of knowing that he was divorcing you. Maybe it is the same in California.

2. I intend to have my marriage ANNULED...but I am not in a hurry. Can anyone recommend a good (proven) lawyer for a case like this? And I hope not too expensive.

You may not need to get an annulment. Recently, in this forum, there was a thread about this very subject. The way I understood it, if the U.S. citizen filed for divorce in the U.S., the Pinay would not be required to get an annulment because the Filipino government would recognize the divorce. VJ member Pinay Wife knows more about this subject.

3. If anyone in here has the same story as I do, can you please narrate to me how you handled your situation? By the way, I have no child/children from him.

You might get more responses if you posted this topic in the "Effects of Major Changes..." forum.

4. How can I find out if he already terminated our visa application in NVC.

I don't know the answer, but I'm sure that there is a way to find out. At least you have a case number. Have you tried calling the NVC?


Tahoma and Chinook's K1 story --->> PinayKano Scrapbook

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Oh by the way. If he divorced you in California there is a 6 month delay before he can remarry. The judge in mine signed off on the divorce after 4 months but I still had to wait.

The paperwork for my divorce was done in under a month which is how long it took the ex to be served and papers turned in to the court. The rest was just waiting.

There are ways to get quick divorces or annulments especially if you hop over to Nevada and are willing to stretch the truth a bit.


April 24, 2010: Married in Butuan City
May 23, 2010: Submitted I-130
May 28, 2010: NOA-1 Received
October 19, 2010: NOA-2 Received
October 26, 2010: Case Number Assigned
October 28, 2010: IIN Received
November 3, 2010: AOS paid
November 5, 2010: AOS status "PAID". Sent AOS packet
November 6, 2010: DS-3032 email received. Emailed DS-3032
November 8, 2010: IV paid, DS-3032 accepted
November 10, 2010: IV status "PAID". Sent IV packet
November 15, 2010: IV received at NVC
November 22, 2010: False Checklist for missing DS-230
November 29, 2010: AOS + IV entered into system
December 4, 2010: SIF, Case Completed
December 6, 2010: Interview Scheduled
December 27-28, 2010: Passed Physical
January 6, 2011: Interview @ 0830 Approved
January 14, 2011: Visa received
January 31, 2011: CFO seminar completed
February 11, 2011: POE- LAX

Removal of Conditions
January 8, 2013: Mailed I-751
January 10,2013: NOA1
February 6, 2013: Biometrics Appoint.

June 4, 2013: Received I-797 NOA removal of conditions
_____________________________________________________________________________
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

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"In the State of Washington, where I live, it is possible to divorce someone without that person ever knowing it. It involves placing a notice in the local newspaper for a number of weeks in order to notify you of an impending divorce. This is done in place of serving the papers to you. Since you would not see the notice, you would have no way of knowing that he was divorcing you. Maybe it is the same in California."

Yeah, it can be done here that way. I believe though that it can only be done if you claim you have no whereabouts of your spouse.

If he did it this way I would hang him out to dry. Especially since she has evidence to the contrary.

I like the mention about the Philippino court recognizing the divorce. That would help things. An annulment would be better though.


April 24, 2010: Married in Butuan City
May 23, 2010: Submitted I-130
May 28, 2010: NOA-1 Received
October 19, 2010: NOA-2 Received
October 26, 2010: Case Number Assigned
October 28, 2010: IIN Received
November 3, 2010: AOS paid
November 5, 2010: AOS status "PAID". Sent AOS packet
November 6, 2010: DS-3032 email received. Emailed DS-3032
November 8, 2010: IV paid, DS-3032 accepted
November 10, 2010: IV status "PAID". Sent IV packet
November 15, 2010: IV received at NVC
November 22, 2010: False Checklist for missing DS-230
November 29, 2010: AOS + IV entered into system
December 4, 2010: SIF, Case Completed
December 6, 2010: Interview Scheduled
December 27-28, 2010: Passed Physical
January 6, 2011: Interview @ 0830 Approved
January 14, 2011: Visa received
January 31, 2011: CFO seminar completed
February 11, 2011: POE- LAX

Removal of Conditions
January 8, 2013: Mailed I-751
January 10,2013: NOA1
February 6, 2013: Biometrics Appoint.

June 4, 2013: Received I-797 NOA removal of conditions
_____________________________________________________________________________
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

Unfortunately, this is not him. Although he has some arm disability though.

[quote name=NVC FAN :(' date='05 July 2010 - 07:23 AM' timestamp='1278285832' post='4044854]

Last year i know of another man , that did the same thing to another woman in PI. he was from cali also. his name does not happen to be Dan, and he has a bum leg. like cripled?


----VISA JOURNEY ENDS----

It is great to love, but also guard your heart...

As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.

-- Julia Butterfly Hill

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"In the State of Washington, where I live, it is possible to divorce someone without that person ever knowing it. It involves placing a notice in the local newspaper for a number of weeks in order to notify you of an impending divorce. This is done in place of serving the papers to you. Since you would not see the notice, you would have no way of knowing that he was divorcing you. Maybe it is the same in California."

Yeah, it can be done here that way. I believe though that it can only be done if you claim you have no whereabouts of your spouse.

If he did it this way I would hang him out to dry. Especially since she has evidence to the contrary.

I like the mention about the Philippino court recognizing the divorce. That would help things. An annulment would be better though.

It's the same here in Washington...a person must claim they don't know the whereabouts of their spouse in order to serve the divorce notice to the spouse by publication in a newspaper.

If she wants a divorce, the original poster should try to persuade her husband to file for the divorce. That way, I'm fairly sure that the OP would not need to get an annulment in Pinas. She would save a lot of time and money.


Tahoma and Chinook's K1 story --->> PinayKano Scrapbook

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