A Joke to liven up the Forum

[DARUMA07 25]

WIFE FROM HELL A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.

That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'W ILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks,'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

(I love this part) 'Only when he's been drinking.!!

Edited July 4, 2010 by DARUMA07

[Michael and Ivy 1]

LOL

[Tahoma 2,291]

The wife is funny, and the hubby is one sandwich short of a picnic!

[DARUMA07 25]

The wife is funny, and the hubby is one sandwich short of a picnic!

Yea, hubby isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer....

[besaangel 17]

[Jared and May 16]

That was pretty funny! :rofl:

[tallcoolone 102]

No doubt about this forum being dead, it just plain suxs to read and I have never seen it this boring. I take a vacation away from here and return from time to time and in my opinion if it stays this boring they might as well shut down the Philippines section.

What happened here, did the mods run off all the people off this section?

[DARUMA07 25]

No doubt about this forum being dead, it just plain suxs to read and I have never seen it this boring. I take a vacation away from here and return from time to time and in my opinion if it stays this boring they might as well shut down the Philippines section.

What happened here, did the mods run off all the people off this section?

I am not sure what has happened Jack. I have seen it slow before, but never like this. Use to pop on in the forum and you would see 30+ people here, but now there are times I see none. Hopefully, it will recover.

There has been so many changes at the USEM level since we have done this. It's hard to offer help in that area, but I try to be here to give a word of encouragement to the ones going through it.

We are taking a year break since we Lifted Conditions. Our next step is Citizenship for Ruchie and Mathew. In the mean time, we are trying to give back to VJ for what VJ has done for us........

[Gumbolette 58]

This is hilarious.

[sunandmoon 450]

I can sense there is a spark of life in the forum...

[SuperDuper! 230]

No doubt about this forum being dead, it just plain suxs to read and I have never seen it this boring. I take a vacation away from here and return from time to time and in my opinion if it stays this boring they might as well shut down the Philippines section.

What happened here, did the mods run off all the people off this section?

I think you are right, Jack. This forum used to be fun and lively. Maybe it got a little wild at times, but we policed ourselves and no one got hurt. I think what we are seeing is that active posters got chased away by over exuberant moderators, who are looking for something to moderate. If they want a ghost town here, then they are doing a great job.

Best wishes on this 4th of July to you and your Pinay. Crack open a cold one, as the 4th of July is THE largest beer consumption day in the US, and thats a fact, Jack!

[DARUMA07 25]

I can sense there is a spark of life in the forum...

Love that movie Roy.... Thanks for posting.

[Jared and May 16]

I think it's because Tahoma's been an army of one answering questions.. :rofl:

[Robert E Lee 0]

I think it's because Tahoma's been an army of one answering questions.. :rofl:

Reckon should be funnier if more wimps and male nurses join Tahoma's army. Go hog wild now!

[sweet angel 5]