Obama Refuses to Answer Questions About Size of His Package

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

At a press conference in Washington today, President-elect Barack Obama repeatedly refused to answer questions about the size of his package, calling the subject “a personal matter.”

Again and again, reporters attempted to get Mr. Obama to tell them exactly how big his package was, but the President-elect was steadfast in his refusal to quantify it.

“If I tell you the size of my package, some of you will think that it sounds too small, ” he said. “And others will be uncomfortable with how big it is.”

The President-elect seemed to indicate, however, that the size of his package may vary according to the circumstances.

“Depending on what is going on, my package could grow significantly larger,” he said. “It all comes down to the amount of stimulus.”

The President-elect apologized for his vagueness about his package, telling reporters, “I know you’re having a hard time getting your arms around it.”

Mr. Obama’s Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, later indicated that the President-elect does plan on unveiling his package for the American people, probably at his inauguration.

“This will give the American people an opportunity to finally grasp his package,” Mr. Emanuel said.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2009/01/09/obama-refuses-to-answer/

[Peikko 1,575]

President elect? How old is that link???

[krautlaus 7]

POSTED JANUARY 9, 2009

Obama Refuses to Answer Questions About Size of His Package

‘A Personal Matter,’ Says President-elect

errrr...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

President elect? How old is that link???

14 mos. It's taking forever to get this over with!

[scandal 951]

I sure hope Obama will do something about this when he becomes president.

[Calypso 465]

Ask Scandal about his package. He'll easily describe it in detail and will even post photos of his complete package. It awed Spooky and turned IR5 into a girl.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Ask Scandal about his package. He'll easily describe it in detail and will even post photos of his complete package. It awed Spooky and turned IR5 into a girl.

We're more interested in knowing what it did to you

[Ban Hammer 14,584]

We're more interested in knowing what it did to you

why do you think she was posting all those pics of her bikini?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

why do you think she was posting all those pics of her bikini?

I missed those

[Calypso 465]

why do you think she was posting all those pics of her bikini?

For Spooky, not for Scandal. I think Spooky is hot.

We're more interested in knowing what it did to you

You should see his balls so you'll understand.

[scandal 951]

For Spooky, not for Scandal. I think Spooky is hot.

Spooky is hot. But I'm hotter. How can you not see this?

You should see his balls so you'll understand.

I've seen my balls. I'm starting to understand.

[Calypso 465]

Spooky is hot. But I'm hotter. How can you not see this?

I've seen my balls. I'm starting to understand.

I like turtles more than squirrels. Turtles are already hard and slippery. They can grow their heads whenever they want to.

Scandal's balls, AJ.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

They can grow their heads whenever they want to.

Yes, I can see how being able to grow on demand could be a useful skill

[Ban Hammer 14,584]

Yes, I can see how being able to grow on demand could be a useful skill

there's hope for you yet with stem cell research.

[scandal 951]

I like turtles more than squirrels. Turtles are already hard and slippery. They can grow their heads whenever they want to.

Scandal's balls, AJ.

Only, I'm not a squirrel. I'm a sheepfucker with a European hand bag. There's quite a difference between that and squirrels, actually.