what do you do?

[Gemmie 142]

Just read something saying voluntary work or training is not allowed...

My Fiancee and I had a very different image in our mind when I arrived, we thought it wouldn't be this stressful, all this paperwork, money worries. We are living with his parents and waiting to move out, but we cant until we paid the AOS, and until I get a good paying job. I am Thinking it would of been simpler to move him to the UK!

Plus sitting about all day and night is driving me stir crazy and we cant go out since we are very broke... Just waiting for this all to be over and for the fun stuff to happen...Grrrr. Anyone else frustrated or in a similar situation?

We are in the exact same situation.

I've been in the US for 6 months and I have to admit, I never thought it would be so stressful. My confidence has gone down since being here as I'm in the house all day without interaction. I know it sounds really, really strange, especially to those of you that are out and about. I never thought this would happen to me. I get nervous talking to people (which I never did before) as the only conversation I get is over the phone to my UK friends and family... (and of course my husband and his parents). We live in the countryside about a mile away from the centre... I don't think his family realise how isolating it is sometimes. They tell me to just take a walk into the town centre and look around the shops, but the only shops they have there: A Dunkin Donuts, a bank, an antique shop and a hairdressers. When my husband gets home from work, he listens to me whine about how bored I've been and tries to take me out, but because we're saving to move out (I also live with my in-laws), there's nowhere to go.

I've just got my green card and have been job-hunting for the past few weeks, but there doesn't seem to be any luck with my field because I don't have enough experience and also don't have a driving license. Even if I get one, we can't afford another car and my husband needs his for work every day. My FIL is pushing me to take any job that I can just to get me out of the house, but I've had many "entry-level" jobs in the past that I really didn't enjoy (waitress, barmaid, sales, cleaner) and want to do something for my future. I've just got a degree and want to use it. Plus what with the travel situation, that would mean my husband getting home from work and then dropping me off at my job at night, so I'd still be on my own all day and not get time with him either.

Things will get better. I know this. We're struggling to move out, but when we do, I'll have a feeling of growth as a couple, and will be able to settle both physically and mentally. It's the being in limbo that is annoying, but it will pass.

I'm pretty sure you ARE allowed to volunteer though. The rule is that you're not allowed to accept paid work. So I would go for that, if you're able to get to the place.

[nickandkayte 0]

We are in the exact same situation.

I've been in the US for 6 months and I have to admit, I never thought it would be so stressful. My confidence has gone down since being here as I'm in the house all day without interaction. I know it sounds really, really strange, especially to those of you that are out and about. I never thought this would happen to me. I get nervous talking to people (which I never did before) as the only conversation I get is over the phone to my UK friends and family... (and of course my husband and his parents). We live in the countryside about a mile away from the centre... I don't think his family realise how isolating it is sometimes. They tell me to just take a walk into the town centre and look around the shops, but the only shops they have there: A Dunkin Donuts, a bank, an antique shop and a hairdressers. When my husband gets home from work, he listens to me whine about how bored I've been and tries to take me out, but because we're saving to move out (I also live with my in-laws), there's nowhere to go.

I've just got my green card and have been job-hunting for the past few weeks, but there doesn't seem to be any luck with my field because I don't have enough experience and also don't have a driving license. Even if I get one, we can't afford another car and my husband needs his for work every day. My FIL is pushing me to take any job that I can just to get me out of the house, but I've had many "entry-level" jobs in the past that I really didn't enjoy (waitress, barmaid, sales, cleaner) and want to do something for my future. I've just got a degree and want to use it. Plus what with the travel situation, that would mean my husband getting home from work and then dropping me off at my job at night, so I'd still be on my own all day and not get time with him either.

Things will get better. I know this. We're struggling to move out, but when we do, I'll have a feeling of growth as a couple, and will be able to settle both physically and mentally. It's the being in limbo that is annoying, but it will pass.

I'm pretty sure you ARE allowed to volunteer though. The rule is that you're not allowed to accept paid work. So I would go for that, if you're able to get to the place.

I know what you mean about the car situation, I was talking about that to my Fiancee last night. We don't know what we will do either... I told him I could cycle to work but its about 13 miles each way :-( I know what you mean about confidence going down, I feel isolated here and we cant go out because it just causes my fiancee to stress out about money and gas prices.

Yeah I know the feeling about being pushed out the house, Nick and I are going through that too. This morning there was 2 house's for sale written down on a piece of paper for us to look at...We have no money so how are we going to be able to move out?!

[Gemmie 142]

I meant my FIL pushing me to take any job (coffee shop) just so I don't have to sit around the house all day. We had a talk the other day and I told him that I was trying to get a decent job with benefits that I can make a career out of, and he basically told me that any job is better than none. Are your in-laws dropping hints that they want you of their house? Maybe they're trying to help in their own way.

The money situation is difficult, maybe you can do something cheap like going to a nearby plaza and just walking around, looking in the shops, getting some fresh air. Do you have any pets? Sometimes it's nice to play with them together. Or renting a DVD and having a night in together.

About the confidence, I'll tell you what helps me. Being dropped off at a train station, going into the city (in this case Boston) and spending a few hours there by myself. It reminds me of my old life in the UK when I would happily walk everywhere, talk to people, go shopping, etc. I always felt a LOT happier when I was picked up afterwards, my confidence was restored, and so was my motivation to get out there and make a life for myself. We can't do that anymore as my husband works full-time and there's not a lot to do in the city for 8 hours. But it's still a quick way to feel better.

[*julez* 124]

I've posted this guide in a previous thread quite awhile ago regarding volunteering:

The following describes the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Service (USCIS) interpretation of the concept of “work” versus “volunteering.”

• A foreign national cannot perform work as a volunteer in a position that would normally be a paid position or if the foreign national believes that some form of compensation will follow. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS) views such volunteering as “work” and requires proper employment authorization issued by that agency. This specifically includes volunteering by a foreign national for a trial period leading up to compensated employment.

• [A]n applicant for a change of status may not offer his or her services to a prospective employer, even on a volunteer basis. The employment is unauthorized as long as the alien derives any benefit from it. (Lawrence J. Weinig, INS Deputy Assistant Commissioner for Adjudications, 66 NO. 19 Interpreter Releases 539)

• In addition, the volunteer rule may give rise to a number of potential abuses. For example, may an employer lawfully suggest to an alien that he or she should do a period of 'volunteer' work while the employer is deciding whether or not to file a nonimmigrant visa petition or a labor certification application? Recently, the INS indicated that an applicant for change in nonimmigrant status could not offer his or her services to a prospective employer on a 'volunteer' basis. The INS has stated that: 'If any type of benefit could accrue to the alien, though it may not be wages or fringe benefits, the services will be considered unauthorized employment.' (89-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

• Volunteer services for a prospective employer constitute unauthorized employment if the alien will ultimately derive some benefit from the work. The ultimate question in most volunteer cases will be: What did the alien expect in return? If he or she expected compensation, reward, or future benefit, then the volunteer work probably violates status. (95-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

I just spotted this in another thread, which does clarify under what circumstances volunteer work is allowable without EAD. I was not previously aware of this. Quite interesting.

So, it does look like Kayte can't volunteer at the gym. However, if you want to do some other type of volunteering to keep yourself sane, that would be OK. So, you might want to look into other volunteer opportunites.

[A and J 4]

I've posted this guide in a previous thread quite awhile ago regarding volunteering:

The following describes the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Service (USCIS) interpretation of the concept of “work” versus “volunteering.”

• A foreign national cannot perform work as a volunteer in a position that would normally be a paid position or if the foreign national believes that some form of compensation will follow. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS) views such volunteering as “work” and requires proper employment authorization issued by that agency. This specifically includes volunteering by a foreign national for a trial period leading up to compensated employment.

• [A]n applicant for a change of status may not offer his or her services to a prospective employer, even on a volunteer basis. The employment is unauthorized as long as the alien derives any benefit from it. (Lawrence J. Weinig, INS Deputy Assistant Commissioner for Adjudications, 66 NO. 19 Interpreter Releases 539)

• In addition, the volunteer rule may give rise to a number of potential abuses. For example, may an employer lawfully suggest to an alien that he or she should do a period of 'volunteer' work while the employer is deciding whether or not to file a nonimmigrant visa petition or a labor certification application? Recently, the INS indicated that an applicant for change in nonimmigrant status could not offer his or her services to a prospective employer on a 'volunteer' basis. The INS has stated that: 'If any type of benefit could accrue to the alien, though it may not be wages or fringe benefits, the services will be considered unauthorized employment.' (89-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

• Volunteer services for a prospective employer constitute unauthorized employment if the alien will ultimately derive some benefit from the work. The ultimate question in most volunteer cases will be: What did the alien expect in return? If he or she expected compensation, reward, or future benefit, then the volunteer work probably violates status. (95-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

I just spotted this in another thread, which does clarify under what circumstances volunteer work is allowable without EAD. I was not previously aware of this. Quite interesting.

So, it does look like Kayte can't volunteer at the gym. However, if you want to do some other type of volunteering to keep yourself sane, that would be OK. So, you might want to look into other volunteer opportunites.

Thanks for that, clears things up a bit

Kayte - how are you finding this Florida weather (there was snow back home this week:(), some days i don't even want to go out as its so humid and this is winter time i hate to see what its like in the summer, which is when my next trip over will be and hopefully by then the K1 will be approved. However i do try and push myself, I am lucky we have some nice walks even being in the city. I am starting to see the stuff i am going to miss though like public transport and the ability to walk most places.

One plan when i do get home and start working is to save as much as i can on top of the our visa fees this way i can get back into the arts side of things as i'll have to get new supplies or ship mine over...I have already made 1 quilt a couple of years ago so could try my hand at another..if all else fails scrap booking!!

[*Snowdrop* 603]

If you do feel like doing some volunteering which fits into the above category and can't get somewhere local take a look at this website and select virtual opportunities on the search page.

There are some great non-profits looking for help from people from home and it's the sort of thing which can look great on a CV when the time comes. I was surprised how many non-profit jobs there were over here when I arrived and they all want experience in the area of working for non-profits. If I had known I would have done this myself when I had a three-month trip over during the visa process.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/

If you have any interest in media or journalism this company is legit and interesting....they will also give you a proper reference at the end of your time with them.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/opp571927.jsp

[nickandkayte 0]

I meant my FIL pushing me to take any job (coffee shop) just so I don't have to sit around the house all day. We had a talk the other day and I told him that I was trying to get a decent job with benefits that I can make a career out of, and he basically told me that any job is better than none. Are your in-laws dropping hints that they want you of their house? Maybe they're trying to help in their own way.

The money situation is difficult, maybe you can do something cheap like going to a nearby plaza and just walking around, looking in the shops, getting some fresh air. Do you have any pets? Sometimes it's nice to play with them together. Or renting a DVD and having a night in together.

About the confidence, I'll tell you what helps me. Being dropped off at a train station, going into the city (in this case Boston) and spending a few hours there by myself. It reminds me of my old life in the UK when I would happily walk everywhere, talk to people, go shopping, etc. I always felt a LOT happier when I was picked up afterwards, my confidence was restored, and so was my motivation to get out there and make a life for myself. We can't do that anymore as my husband works full-time and there's not a lot to do in the city for 8 hours. But it's still a quick way to feel better.

I am trying to go to the gym a lot more for my confidence and also hanging out with Nick's friends which is good I may take a walk around the mall at some point in the coming weeks, I used to love shopping on my own!

We went to the VA office yesterday to see about any support we can get and they very kindly gave us some Wallmart vouchers to help us out with food which has been awesome . I know Nicks parents would help us if we were really struggling, but we did need a little more support with food so this will definitly help out.

I think they are just trying to be nice with showing us all these houses, there are some good deals in Florida but now is not the right time to move out I feel....Does your FIL still want you to take the job after you spoke to him?

I've posted this guide in a previous thread quite awhile ago regarding volunteering:

The following describes the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Service (USCIS) interpretation of the concept of “work” versus “volunteering.”

• A foreign national cannot perform work as a volunteer in a position that would normally be a paid position or if the foreign national believes that some form of compensation will follow. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS) views such volunteering as “work” and requires proper employment authorization issued by that agency. This specifically includes volunteering by a foreign national for a trial period leading up to compensated employment.

• [A]n applicant for a change of status may not offer his or her services to a prospective employer, even on a volunteer basis. The employment is unauthorized as long as the alien derives any benefit from it. (Lawrence J. Weinig, INS Deputy Assistant Commissioner for Adjudications, 66 NO. 19 Interpreter Releases 539)

• In addition, the volunteer rule may give rise to a number of potential abuses. For example, may an employer lawfully suggest to an alien that he or she should do a period of 'volunteer' work while the employer is deciding whether or not to file a nonimmigrant visa petition or a labor certification application? Recently, the INS indicated that an applicant for change in nonimmigrant status could not offer his or her services to a prospective employer on a 'volunteer' basis. The INS has stated that: 'If any type of benefit could accrue to the alien, though it may not be wages or fringe benefits, the services will be considered unauthorized employment.' (89-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

• Volunteer services for a prospective employer constitute unauthorized employment if the alien will ultimately derive some benefit from the work. The ultimate question in most volunteer cases will be: What did the alien expect in return? If he or she expected compensation, reward, or future benefit, then the volunteer work probably violates status. (95-05 Immigr. Briefings 1)

I just spotted this in another thread, which does clarify under what circumstances volunteer work is allowable without EAD. I was not previously aware of this. Quite interesting.

So, it does look like Kayte can't volunteer at the gym. However, if you want to do some other type of volunteering to keep yourself sane, that would be OK. So, you might want to look into other volunteer opportunites.

Thanks for that, clears things up a bit

Kayte - how are you finding this Florida weather (there was snow back home this week:(), some days i don't even want to go out as its so humid and this is winter time i hate to see what its like in the summer, which is when my next trip over will be and hopefully by then the K1 will be approved. However i do try and push myself, I am lucky we have some nice walks even being in the city. I am starting to see the stuff i am going to miss though like public transport and the ability to walk most places.

One plan when i do get home and start working is to save as much as i can on top of the our visa fees this way i can get back into the arts side of things as i'll have to get new supplies or ship mine over...I have already made 1 quilt a couple of years ago so could try my hand at another..if all else fails scrap booking!!

If you do feel like doing some volunteering which fits into the above category and can't get somewhere local take a look at this website and select virtual opportunities on the search page.

There are some great non-profits looking for help from people from home and it's the sort of thing which can look great on a CV when the time comes. I was surprised how many non-profit jobs there were over here when I arrived and they all want experience in the area of working for non-profits. If I had known I would have done this myself when I had a three-month trip over during the visa process.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/

If you have any interest in media or journalism this company is legit and interesting....they will also give you a proper reference at the end of your time with them.

http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/opp571927.jsp

Yep that's what I saw yesterday I cant really volunteer to do classes to help children or older people either, it sucks SO much! Hehe and the weather here was really rainy yesterday, to the point where you couldent see anything infront of you . But today it may be a bit better, the weather is in the 70-80's and so nice Not really humid right now.

And thanks for the links lsma I will start looking in to volunteer work today, as well as getting my CPR from the red cross.

[Gemmie 142]

I am trying to go to the gym a lot more for my confidence and also hanging out with Nick's friends which is good I may take a walk around the mall at some point in the coming weeks, I used to love shopping on my own!

We went to the VA office yesterday to see about any support we can get and they very kindly gave us some Wallmart vouchers to help us out with food which has been awesome . I know Nicks parents would help us if we were really struggling, but we did need a little more support with food so this will definitly help out.

I think they are just trying to be nice with showing us all these houses, there are some good deals in Florida but now is not the right time to move out I feel....Does your FIL still want you to take the job after you spoke to him?

Yes, he said that I could always look for a job in my field whilst working at the coffee shop in town. He even said he'll ask his friend if there are any jobs at the hunting store, and he knows I hate hunting. I know he's trying to help but everyone in the family knows that he comes off as critical rather than helpful. There are so many times where I just want to get a job to prevent people making comments, but that's not the right motivation at all. My best friends have told me to stick to my guns and keep looking for a desired job as it takes time, and a British woman around here told me that once I get to interview, she believes I'll have no problems getting the job; but I do feel pressured by living with the in-laws. Of course, we can't move out until we build up a credit history.

I've ordered a book on 'what to do with your psych degree' which has different career options, and it includes how to get into different paths. I'm hoping that will be useful, as well as having a tea meeting with some people next week that might be able to point me in the right direction in working with people.

Good news about the food stamps. Every little helps, right? Exercise also helps with stress. I was going to join a local yoga class, but the only ones around here require gym memberships and those are so expensive.

[marie09 5]

I have been doing a lot of reading, walks and computer stuff while my other half is at work and I know that there is likely going to be more times like this when he has to work and I am at his all day...

So i wanted to know what does everyone else do all day long when they are in the USA and their other half has to work?????

Thanks

Jenine

Good to know there are others on here in the same situation... I have been married almost 2 months, am waiting for the EAD at the minute. We also only have 1 car - that my husband uses for work. Definitely get cabin fever a lot, live for the weekends and when hubby gets home from work.

As for what I do all day: I go to the gym on days when the hubby has time to run home drop me of & pick me up. Joined the library - lots of reading. Made holiday cards for just about everyone. Waste time on Visa journey...

I have friends who have gone through the same thing - not in my town though unfortunately. They said the waiting sucks, but now they have their GC's have found good jobs/are in college and are settled and have plenty of friends - their lives are really wonderful now.

Can't wait for everything to get moving - hopefully 2010 will be a good year for everyone.

[A and J 4]

Good to know there are others on here in the same situation... I have been married almost 2 months, am waiting for the EAD at the minute. We also only have 1 car - that my husband uses for work. Definitely get cabin fever a lot, live for the weekends and when hubby gets home from work.

As for what I do all day: I go to the gym on days when the hubby has time to run home drop me of & pick me up. Joined the library - lots of reading. Made holiday cards for just about everyone. Waste time on Visa journey...

I have friends who have gone through the same thing - not in my town though unfortunately. They said the waiting sucks, but now they have their GC's have found good jobs/are in college and are settled and have plenty of friends - their lives are really wonderful now.

Can't wait for everything to get moving - hopefully 2010 will be a good year for everyone.

so try and keep focused on that light on the end f the tunnel, when EAD etc is granted.

I think when it all goes through and i am finally over for good, i will start a hobbie something i have wanted to do for a long time but never had the time to do it, and i will be able to use the gym etc of the complex as i will be on the apartment agreement...anyway i guess right no I don't really have to worry about it as we still have a while to go before the process is completed

Hope everyone had a great holiday season and that this year brings many happy adventures

[hudons 0]

Well.... we work together now but before that I spent quite a lot of time looking for English recipes on the internet and trying to recreate them with American ingredients. I still haven't mastered treacle tart without Golden Syrup.

Also, he bought me a budgie. I taught it to ring a bell for food. Ha ha ha.

How sad does that sound! I guess we do what we can. I can't stand how many channels there are on TV here. I kinda just want a Sky box, I know how to work that!

I have now taken up cross country skiing. Great hobby you can do for free on trails. Obviously you have to live somewhere snowy for that.

[marie09 5]

so try and keep focused on that light on the end of the tunnel, when EAD etc is granted.

My EAD arrived today!!! I start work tomorrow... I'm initially going to be working back in HR, same ski resort & job where i worked with my visa. It's just seasonal until April though... Hoping to find something full time year round with benefits etc in the next few months. But at least for now this gets me out of the house and making money so we can get my car soon & finally plan our honeymoon.

Hang in there everyone still waiting... definitely try and get gym membership if you can... Also last week right after my EAD was approved I found out our local hospital has a huge volunteer program... It even had admin/office volunteer positions etc... Also started scrapbooking recently, got some stuff in Michaels and not only does it pass time but is something you can take to the immigration interviews too

Well.... we work together now but before that I spent quite a lot of time looking for English recipes on the internet and trying to recreate them with American ingredients. I still haven't mastered treacle tart without Golden Syrup.

I have now taken up cross country skiing. Great hobby you can do for free on trails. Obviously you have to live somewhere snowy for that.

I like to make english recipes too - surprise my husband... Still haven't quite got a good yorkshire pudding recipe for high altitude though.

My hubby and I want to take up cross country skiing... We have trails in walking distance from our house... We'd also planned to snow shoe too - we got snow shoes from family but my hubby's one's are too light... Will be good hobbies to get into... A few more months of winter left

[hudons 0]

I like to make english recipes too - surprise my husband... Still haven't quite got a good yorkshire pudding recipe for high altitude though.

My hubby and I want to take up cross country skiing... We have trails in walking distance from our house... We'd also planned to snow shoe too - we got snow shoes from family but my hubby's one's are too light... Will be good hobbies to get into... A few more months of winter left

Definitely do it!

There is also a habit I have picked up from my in-laws of endlessly browsing Craigslist. I got my skis on there, I got my snowshoes on there, I got my car on there. My boss got a free hot tub! You should check it out for new snowshoes!

Couldn't help but notice that your local office is Sacramento, CA though. Do you have snow there? Maybe Tahoe? You mentioned altitude so I gues that's it.

As for yorkshire pudding. I'm pretty sure that there's something different about the ingredients here. I can't get that to work properly either. Tastes good, looks like a fat pancake. Ooops.

[britbird 4]

For what it's worth - i found that taking any job (I worked in a sandwich shop for a few weeks) was so very much better than doing nothing around the house, and it certainly didn't prevent me from looking for other work while I was out. It also meant that I met people and - even though it was a small amount - there is a lot to be said for earning your own money.

I've said this before I think, but universities are outstanding places to work, and you can usually get entry level positions at them (unless you are trying the University of California at the moment, which is in a bit of a predicament). The other benefit is that you may be able to get help with tuition for graduate level education.

[A and J 4]

For what it's worth - i found that taking any job (I worked in a sandwich shop for a few weeks) was so very much better than doing nothing around the house, and it certainly didn't prevent me from looking for other work while I was out. It also meant that I met people and - even though it was a small amount - there is a lot to be said for earning your own money.

I've said this before I think, but universities are outstanding places to work, and you can usually get entry level positions at them (unless you are trying the University of California at the moment, which is in a bit of a predicament). The other benefit is that you may be able to get help with tuition for graduate level education.

Thats a good idea with the university thing, when EAD comes through which would also benefit me greatly if it was able to help towards tuition etc as i know i need to do more schooling in order to become a teacher I did a BA in England but never got round to doing a PGCE so would need to look to what has to be done here....bingo another thing i can do while board out of my mind when everything finally gets approved