Filing for a Visitor's Visa

[rlt 0]

I think you should meet this woman face to face before you make appointments with immigration lawyers.

This was certainly the best piece of advice so far...

I agree!

[chzuga 0]

I think you should meet this woman face to face before you make appointments with immigration lawyers.

This was certainly the best piece of advice so far...

I agree!

you know, i read this and i do not want to say nothing but the more i glance at this, the angrier i get...

WHAT is the BIG difference in meeting someone F-2-F when if you have been talking to each other and understanding each other? WHAT is the big deal here. Like I said earlier, we connect on so many levels, when we meet, it is to just consumate our love for each other. We talk everyday for many hours and we have developed understanding and love for each other to know that she is what i need in my life as well as she does with me.

I thank all for your advice, but you guys sometimes take it a bit too far off the mark. I mean, I ask your "advice" about a Visitor's visa NOT about whether or not I should or not date or be with this person.

[vartan 0]

I feel ya chzuga.. I really do .. but life changes when you share a house and things.. it really really does.. you can ask almost anyone.. that the true nature of people don't come out until you live together.. so its great.. some its not so great..

[Mew 0]

I think you should meet this woman face to face before you make appointments with immigration lawyers.

This was certainly the best piece of advice so far...

I agree!

you know, i read this and i do not want to say nothing but the more i glance at this, the angrier i get...

WHAT is the BIG difference in meeting someone F-2-F when if you have been talking to each other and understanding each other? WHAT is the big deal here. Like I said earlier, we connect on so many levels, when we meet, it is to just consumate our love for each other. We talk everyday for many hours and we have developed understanding and love for each other to know that she is what i need in my life as well as she does with me.

I thank all for your advice, but you guys sometimes take it a bit too far off the mark. I mean, I ask your "advice" about a Visitor's visa NOT about whether or not I should or not date or be with this person.

Woops, sorry. We didn't mean to make you mad. Although I tend to agree with you - I started my current relationship online and kept it strictly online for a few months - there are certain levels of connection that are better established when you meet someone face to face and you get to spend more time with someone. I too, like you (and I believe most of us who have meet our SOs through the internet), thought it was extremely lame to think that because it was an online relationship it wasn't a"real" relationship and our feelings were less strong because of it. But at the same time, meeting face to face can either confirm all those impressions or change our feelings. I mean, it certainly has happened before in history.

That being said, meeting her face to face is also the first step to file for the K1 if you decide that's the route you wanna take, since you have to prove having met her within the 2 past years. I guess that's what I meant when I said it was a great piece of advice.

Edited July 21, 2006 by Mew

[chzuga 0]

I feel ya chzuga.. I really do .. but life changes when you share a house and things.. it really really does.. you can ask almost anyone.. that the true nature of people don't come out until you live together.. so its great.. some its not so great..

I understand what you mean, but we ALL here are taking gambles on that person that we want to spend time with. You are correct, Vartan. People DO change but you wont see a lot of that on a F-2-F.... we are ALL on our best behavior at that time. But I think that daily talks reveal a lot of these persons. We talk about everything under the sun. She knows me very well, and i mean the good and the bad of me and she has not a problem with that. Communication does that. I am not that young and naive to not understand that being with someone takes a rish factor.

hey, maybe I may be wrong about her ... I hope not

[vartan 0]

hey, maybe I may be wrong about her ... I hope not

Yeah you have communication on your side which is a huge factor.. I definitely wish ya the best in your journeys.

[JenT 0]

David and I met in a restaurant in Germany (he had a waitress deliver a note to my table... very romantic... see my profile for the whole story) last August and there was in instant attraction. When I returned to the US, we communicated as you are doing and got to know each other better than I'd known anyone else I'd been involved with... including my ex-husband of 13 yrs. David had decided that I was "The One" the minute he saw me in the restaurant... but his intensity scared me off and I had some 'unfinished business' at home so we 'broke up' for 2 months over the holidays.

We started communicating on his birthday in January and I realized that I needed to spend time with him... to see him in his environment, meet his friends, and his daughter, and see how he was with them. You can tell A LOT about people by the people they choose to surround themselves with. As soon as I saw him again at the airport, though, my heart was confirmed. He was The One for me too. Seeing how he kept his house, how meticulous he was about his laundry, meeting his friends, watching him interact with strangers we met, looking at his photo albums, cooking together in his kitchen, ordering food in a restaurant... all the things that people in non-long distance relationships might take for granted... all confirmed how I felt.

The next step was for him to come to the US and see the same of me. Although we were already engaged, he needed to see what his life was going to be like here. My life is very full.... my two kids keep me busy and I have interests of my own that I pursue... so he came for a visit at the end of the school year, for 4 weeks.

Even though we had talked many things through, knew each other inside and out, and spoke the same language (relatively speaking... he's British ), we had a period of significant adjustment... especially for the first two weeks. I still had to work every day... he was home alone during the day... I had several evening commitments and school 'stuff' that needed to be wrapped up... it was REAL LIFE and where he thought he would have problems, he didn't... and where he thought things would be easy, they weren't. We argued where we never really had before... and both of us questioned whether we had made the right decision. I was balancing attention I was giving to my kids with attention I was giving to him... One of the things influencing him was the fact that he saw his life here but knew that he was going to have to leave again... but he also recognized that he needed to establish his own friendships, his own 'life' apart from mine so that he felt like he was contributing... pride was/is naturally a factor. But we worked things through... we relied on the communication skills we'd built to that point, and we met with the pastor of my church to start pre-marital counseling/preparation which was extremely helpful.

When he left, there was no question that we were meant to be together, and that we could make it work... the hardest part was not knowing when we'd see each other again. We know that we will likely have the same adjustments to make again when he comes here for good, but we are prepared for it now and know that when we overcome those obstacles, our relationship will only be stronger.

So when people suggest meeting, spending time together, etc.... it's because they are talking from experience... not because they're questioning your judgement. We've seen enough relationships fail on this site.... learning from other people's life experiences can only help.

Jen

[chzuga 0]

JenT,

I thank you for the warm response. I am planning in going there for 2 weeks. This will be my fourth time there in a couple of years so I am well acclaimated with local customs to a point and other things. I actually like it there. The 2 weeks will have to do in order for me to decide that she is still the one for me and I am for her. I am tired of looking and I have been in several deadend relationships in my life. I want to settle and have a family of my own.

The papers will be ready when I come back. I should at the point, if satisfied, walk to the mail box and start the visa journey anew.

I know you all been doing this for awhile longer that I have been. I got to start again. I *hope* that THIS is it.

Angel.

[Mew 0]

We didn't mean to upset you with our coments and we've meant well.

Good luck Angel.

Edited July 21, 2006 by Mew

[JenT 0]

JenT,

I thank you for the warm response. I am planning in going there for 2 weeks. This will be my fourth time there in a couple of years so I am well acclaimated with local customs to a point and other things. I actually like it there. The 2 weeks will have to do in order for me to decide that she is still the one for me and I am for her. I am tired of looking and I have been in several deadend relationships in my life. I want to settle and have a family of my own.

The papers will be ready when I come back. I should at the point, if satisfied, walk to the mail box and start the visa journey anew.

I know you all been doing this for awhile longer that I have been. I got to start again. I *hope* that THIS is it.

Angel.

Hi Angel,

I understand how you're feeling... trust me. But be careful about 'settling'.... this is the rest of your life that you're planning here... as it should be. You'll know what's right... just take the time to be sure.

Let us know how things go....

Jen