Ukraine saying?

[jake61 0]

Hello:

Newbie here.

I am conversing with a Ukrainian woman through online translation for a month now. She has said something to me twice now that I do not understand. It is ""I will be a book on your table". It sounds provocative, but I do not have a clue for sure.

I have asked her but she says "I will be what you want". That doesn't help me understand her mind or thoughts much either. It sounds like she will be submissive, which is not my goal.

I pressed her some more and she told me to "dream and look". I think dream to her means sleep.

Just call me confused.

Anyone from Ukraine can help with this?

Edited October 22, 2009 by jake61

[Stephen + Elisha 92]

not NVC-related, moving to regional subforum

[1HappyGuy 45]

Asked my wife if she knew this phrase. She said it depends upon the context of how it was said in response to what. It seems that she felt it meant that, this person will be there when you write. Sorry, can't help much more on that.

[Oksana81 0]

no, sorry, literary, the phrase "I will be a book on your table" makes no sense...

[SMR 368]

Is she speaking in Ukrainian or Russian? In Russian, I'm pretty sure that it isn't some sort of common phrase. I've never heard it and neither have several Russians that I asked. Either it means something in Ukrainian or else it's a phrase that she is sort of "coining", which I suppose leaves it up to your interpretation and context.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Vika says that it could mean different things depending on the conversation. Give us some context please.

[baron555 934]

I'll venture some guesses using my best wisdom

I will be a book on your table

You only have your most favorite books on your table so she will be your favorite.

I will be what you want

She will be the one that you are searching for.

dream and look

Think about your perfect woman and look to her to see that dream come true.

As stated, we need the other context of your conversations to make more sense of this, however.............

for a month now

You are still early on in your relationship so lovey-dovey sayings, while cute and coy, should not be the main focus of your conversations.

I would hope that you two are talking about yourselves, your likes and dislikes, your desires for the future, etc.

Also after a month of conversation, have you asked for her phone number so you can call her and listen to each other's voices? This is an important step.

[jake61 0]

We have talked on the phone several times but she can not carry a conversation in english. I do not speak any Russian. We have been emailing for 5 1/2 weeks now and just passed 1900 emails. It is fair to say we have covered a lot of ground.

We met on Elenas Models. We both wanted love and marriage in our profiles. We liked each others pictures and now have dozens of pictures of each of us. Needless to say this is going very fast.

I plan on going over to see her and stay with her for three weeks in December. Also she has 10 days off work and we are flying up to her only living relative (niece) for Christmas in Moscow.

If all goes well I will file for K-1 when I return. Maybe while I am there if it doesn't hinder the process.

[baron555 934]

We have talked on the phone several times but she can not carry a conversation in english. I do not speak any Russian. We have been emailing for 5 1/2 weeks now and just passed 1900 emails. It is fair to say we have covered a lot of ground.

We met on Elenas Models. We both wanted love and marriage in our profiles. We liked each others pictures and now have dozens of pictures of each of us. Needless to say this is going very fast.

I plan on going over to see her and stay with her for three weeks in December. Also she has 10 days off work and we are flying up to her only living relative (niece) for Christmas in Moscow.

If all goes well I will file for K-1 when I return. Maybe while I am there if it doesn't hinder the process.

I don't mean to pry; I met my RW on EM also.

Are you emailing each other privately or using the agency? Does she have her own Internet or must use the cafe?

If you are using private emails and especially if she has her own Internet, that is a good sign. One must always get the girl away from any agency.

Can you two Skype? For Alla and I, especially in the beginning, our phone conversations were brutal. When we started Skyping, our vocal conversations as well as her English really took off.

Now we hardly email and call each other at least three or more times a day and every week have a few hours-long Skype sessions.

Do you have her personal address? Do you have photos of her in everyday situations? with friends? with family?

Don't mean to pry again, but also don't want you to get too deep too quick. I can say it took us two months to decide we were attracted to each other and that we should begin exclusive correspondence and plan to meet. During the next month and a half, our relationship ratcheted up quite a bit; so much that I too met her in Kiev with the thought that maybe she was the one. I planned for that and we both were right and we became engaged.

Best of luck to you two.

[Brad and Vika 129]

We met on Elenas Models. We both wanted love and marriage in our profiles. We liked each others pictures and now have dozens of pictures of each of us. Needless to say this is going very fast.

I plan on going over to see her and stay with her for three weeks in December. Also she has 10 days off work and we are flying up to her only living relative (niece) for Christmas in Moscow.

If all goes well I will file for K-1 when I return. Maybe while I am there if it doesn't hinder the process.

Fast is an understatement. I didn't meet my wife through an agency, so I can't really say how long that should take - but I think baron555's words of caution are well grounded. Having said that, I think a face-to-face visit is a great idea. Please make the arrangements yourself for a hotel or apartment in her city for the first week or so, or in the city you land in (neutral territory). PM me if you would like some ideas on that, I am happy to help. Keep your antennae up - and good luck!

[Dave-n-Oksana 49]

Can you two Skype? For Alla and I, especially in the beginning, our phone conversations were brutal. When we started Skyping, our vocal conversations as well as her English really took off.

Now we hardly email and call each other at least three or more times a day and every week have a few hours-long Skype sessions.

I agree that if you can both use Skype on a regular basis it will help alot. When Oksana and I started talking our first few conversations were horrible as we had difficulty understanding each other, but using the call and instant message features has improved her English 200%. Plus it has the added bonus of being able to archive your message sessions

Also Lovey/Dovey is well and good in your conversations, but make sure that is not all you talk about. Talk about your everyday things and any problems that is going on in each other's lives. It makes for a better relationship than repeated romantic words.

Also if the consulate reads your message logs at the interview it will show a stronger relationship

[jake61 0]

OK, let me explain. I am 61 years old. I am a service connected disabled veteran. My wife died of cancer in 2004 after almost 24 years of a happy and faithful marriage. 3 good kids and oldest is 30.

The woman in the Ukraine is 54.

We both listed our profiles on Elena’s Models. Both of us listed that we wanted a loving relationship and marriage. The main common goals are there and agreed on. We were both attracted to each others pictures. And yes we have many pictures of each other. Even webcam snapshots, and nobody looks good in those. The only thing left is us finding our compatibility with each other. We have worked through that in emails. We are compatible spiritually. Now we are at the point of meeting for the first time.

We are planning a meeting in December where I will stay with her, in her apartment for 3 weeks. She originally wanted me to stay for 6 weeks but I can not stay that long for several reasons beyond my control.

Allow me to explain something. Most people do this backward in my opinion. They introduce themselves and then fly off to meet. When they are together they look at each other objectively. They weigh the pros and cons. They fly off for home without really knowing each other well.

Since she and I have spent so much time and emails discovering our compatibility first, rather than emotionally flying off, we feel like we love each other spiritually already. When I arrive to spend time with her we will look at each other in a positive light.

It is a big difference in attitude and outlook.

Some agencies think you are crazy to go overseas to meet just one woman.

When people are younger they let themselves get in the way. They worry about this and that, their work, careers, money, etc. And most likely unsure of the future.

Being older, all of that is not a consideration. We know that no matter what happens we will live through it.

I know the secret to a happy and faithful love filled marriage is easy. And she and I have discussed it in length.

The man and woman do not even have to be in love for this to work. I know it works because I have lived it.

Take two people that like each other. Then each person puts the other before themselves. That is it! The only condition is both partners have to live this. It does not work if only one partner does it.

If the man puts the woman before himself, she sees respect and consideration for her. The man sees the woman giving him respect and consideration and he thinks the same. From respect and consideration grows love, if they did not have it already.

Live this for a couple of months. Then look around at your neighbors and friends marriages. You will know you have got it good.

What does this mean in real life? The man doesn't stop at the bar on the way home from work while the wife is home struggling with the kids (she sees you not taking "me time" for yourself when she is still slaving with the kids). The woman spends money wisely because she knows her husband worked hard for it. (the man sees respect for his work and earnings). The man doesn't buy toys for just himself. (she sees this as him not being selfish and only thinking of himself).

You can come up with as many examples as you want.

When it comes to work around the house it has to be 50/50. It can be split up as the man working on the cars and lawn and the wife doing the inside work. Just make sure one person is not doing the majority of work.

It is all about how you treat each other. Just put your partner first before yourself.

What most people do not understand is you have to give to get.

A woman is interested more in the spiritual side of the relationship and the man is more interested in the making love. By the man being nice, spending time with her and respecting her she gets what she wants, the husband then gets the making love he is interested in. He gives to her and she gives to him. A perfect cycle.

Do not sweat the small stuff like when the toothpaste tube is squeezed in the middle or if there is hose hanging in the bathroom. It means nothing in life. The only thing that matters is the mutual love. All the small stuff goes away with time.

What did Jesus say? Put yourself last. Are not the most beloved people in history people that put other people before themselves? People like Mother Teresa come to mind.

This is an example of some of the things we have talked about.

Jake

[slim 1,514]

When I first read the original post I said, "Whoa! That's fast! I hope dude knows what he's in for."

Then your second post clarified. If you're 61 and recently became a widower, it's only natural that you're looking for a wife. If you were jumping into this with a 24-year-old, I'd still say, "Whoa! That's fast! I hope dude knows what he's in for." But, since the woman you're talking with is 54, and she's no doubt experienced a lot of what life has to offer as well, then she knows what she's looking for too and now the only thing I can say is "good luck!"

Hope to see you around here more. Keep us posted on how things develop. Also, if you're disabled, you should know that facilities and services overseas (as you probably already know being a veteran and all) aren't exactly Americans With Disabilities Act compliant so plan your trip accordingly.

[jake61 0]

Thanks for the consideration and information.

People do not know I am disabled by looking at me. I have internal nerve damage. I have all my fingers and toes. I walk without a limp, etc, just not as far as most people.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Jake,

Thanks for the additional information. It looks to me like you are approaching things in a thoughtful, balanced way in spite of the time frame you outlined earlier. If I may ask, what city are you going to visit? Definitely stay in touch.