Need a bit of help

[arwensun1965 1]

Hi all I've done a resume, nope no EAD yet but I was wondering if I could have some comments, yes I know I will get some ####### but thats ok changes are good

Janice

Summery Experience

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable.

Extensive knowledge of proprietary computer system for the United Kingdom railway system.

Responsible for supervision of employees within the ticket office

Assisted with the induction and training of new employees.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction.

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

Career Goals

To work in a challenging environment where my current skills can be utilized to their fullest while continuing to develop new skills.

Work History

South West Trains 2001-2005

Farnborough College of Technology (Student) 1998-2001

Home Maker 1994-1998

Dzus Fasteners 1991-1994

Shalibane Engineering 1990-1991

Further work history available upon request.

Training

Extensive computer training acquired at the Farnborough College of Technology, Farnborough, United Kingdom. Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint.

Interest/Hobbies

Reading, swimming, computers.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

"Further work history available upon request" ? No... put it in the resume. Make the summary no more than 2 lines, incorporate the rest into your work history descriptions.

Take out Interest/Hobbies completely. It is irrelevant.

And summary is spelled with an 'a' not an 'e'

Please go through http://resume.monster.com/archives/samples/ to see how resumes are formatted/written in the US.

[arwensun1965 1]

ok so no hobbies lol do they ask at the interview stage if you have interests???

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

ok so no hobbies lol do they ask at the interview stage if you have interests???

Some do, some don't. Answer if asked.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

ok so no hobbies lol do they ask at the interview stage if you have interests???

janice... sometimes they do... depends on the interviewer...

otherwise, i agree with ari... and looks good to me!

[arwensun1965 1]

Thanks

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Maybe you should try PMing erekose. He is also from the UK and probably made the same transition in his resume writing style that you're trying to make right now.

[Ban Hammer 14,355]

Maybe you should try PMing erekose. He is also from the UK and probably made the same transition in his resume writing style that you're trying to make right now.

that is a good suggestion, erekose/fishdude is pretty smart

now don't go getting a big ego cause i said that, erekose.......

[mercuryroad 0]

I say get rid of the summary......the actual detail you have below sounds far more impressive to me at first glance.

Career goals usually come up at the top as well.

I agree with Ari on the rest....especially the format changes.

EDIT

Sorry....meant the first two lines in your Summary.

Edited July 18, 2006 by mercuryroad

[arwensun1965 1]

Summary Experience

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable. I also have Extensive knowledge of proprietary computer system for the United Kingdom railway system.

Career Goals

To work in a challenging environment where my current skills can be utilized to their fullest while continuing to develop new skills.

Work History

South West Trains 2001-2005

Responsible for supervision of employees within the ticket office

Assisted with the induction and training of new employees.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction.

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

Farnborough College of Technology (Student) 1998-2001

Home Maker 1994-1998

Dzus Fasteners 1991-1994

Shalibane Engineering 1990-1991

Training

Extensive computer training acquired at the Farnborough College of Technology, Farnborough, United Kingdom. Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint.

How is this???????

[mercuryroad 0]

Summary Experience

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable. I also have Extensive knowledge of proprietary computer system for the United Kingdom railway system.

Career Goals

To work in a challenging environment where my current skills can be utilized to their fullest while continuing to develop new skills.

Work History

South West Trains 2001-2005

Responsible for supervision of employees within the ticket office

Assisted with the induction and training of new employees.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction.

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

Farnborough College of Technology (Student) 1998-2001

Home Maker 1994-1998

Dzus Fasteners 1991-1994

Shalibane Engineering 1990-1991

Training

Extensive computer training acquired at the Farnborough College of Technology, Farnborough, United Kingdom. Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint.

How is this???????

I'm sorry.....I just hate the summary.

The work history sounds much better.

And...in your work history it is common to list your job title.

[arwensun1965 1]

Hmmm trying to think of something different for the Summary, Work title hmmm Americans might not understand the work title ..I was a CO3 which is a supervisory grade, there was RO2s then CO1/2 which is the same grade basically then CO3...CO4 is intrim management grade then management ...can you understand what I've said sorry if it is goggly ######

Janice

[mercuryroad 0]

Hmmm trying to think of something different for the Summary, Work title hmmm Americans might not understand the work title ..I was a CO3 which is a supervisory grade, there was RO2s then CO1/2 which is the same grade basically then CO3...CO4 is intrim management grade then management ...can you understand what I've said sorry if it is goggly ######

Janice

Put Supervisor then....sounds good anyway!

I didn't mean to hate on the summary.....I have looked at a lot of resumes recently for some open positions and I was just giving some honest feedback.

The sole purpose of the resume is to get someone to contact you for an interview. The rest is up to you. That means, the resume must look as impressive as possible.

This for example, is not impressive:

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable.

Whereas this is written very well:

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction

This implies you have an understanding of finance and accounting....and the second that you understand customer relationships and satisfaction. These are all keywords in today's business world. The more you put in there (even though it might be kind of #######) at least demonstrates you understand these concepts. Some or all will be of concern to the employer.

See the difference between those and this:

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

I can't pull any keywords from that, and actually have a feeling of so what? So you want attention for filling in for people?

Realize this may not have been your intention.

I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way. You're on the right track IMO.

[Ban Hammer 14,355]

my suggestions:

Summary Experience

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable. I also have Extensive knowledge of proprietary computer system for the United Kingdom railway system.

- emphasize your customer relations in this. delete the word proprietary as it don't mean anything unless someone wants to hire you for corporate espionage

Career Goals

To work in a challenging environment where my current skills can be utilized to their fullest while continuing to develop new skills.

- add more specifics. sounds too much like something that can be achieved at wal mart.

Work History

South West Trains 2001-2005

Responsible for supervision of employees within the ticket office

Assisted with the induction and training of new employees.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction.

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

-how many employees? how long and detailed was the training? what average amount of cash were you directly responsible for?

Farnborough College of Technology (Student) 1998-2001

Home Maker 1994-1998

Dzus Fasteners 1991-1994

Shalibane Engineering 1990-1991

-degree obtained? gpa? (don't know if necessary or not to include that about home maker)

what was the job description for jobs held from 1990-1994?

Training

Extensive computer training acquired at the Farnborough College of Technology, Farnborough, United Kingdom. Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint.

-any certifications?

Edited July 18, 2006 by charlesandnessa

[arwensun1965 1]

Put Supervisor then....sounds good anyway!

ok

I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way. You're on the right track IMO

No, I asked for feedback and what your providing is good. This is a learning curve for me as you might of noticed

Provided travel arrangements and ticket bookings to the public, giving directions and guidance when applicable. I also have Extensive knowledge of proprietary computer system for the United Kingdom railway system.

- emphasize your customer relations in this. delete the word proprietary as it don't mean anything unless someone wants to hire you for corporate espionage

Point taken

To work in a challenging environment where my current skills can be utilized to their fullest while continuing to develop new skills.

- add more specifics. sounds too much like something that can be achieved at wal mart.

ok

South West Trains 2001-2005

Responsible for supervision of employees within the ticket office

Assisted with the induction and training of new employees.

Experienced problem solver, ability to resolve disputes to customer satisfaction.

Responsible for the financial transactions including balance and deposit of the daily takings.

Provided vacation and sick leave relief within a network of ticket offices.

-how many employees? how long and detailed was the training? what average amount of cash were you directly responsible for?

I was a GPR which basically means the Railway Company that I worked for could put me at a moments notice to any ticket office that they wanted, they often rang me and asked if I could do so and so or such and such. When I was on supervisory duty it could involve up to 6 people as my duty was for the ticket office and not the whole of the station, we are not talking about big offices here, lastly the cash amount depended on what ticket office you were sent too, the amounts could be as low as a couple of hundred pounds at a very small one manned station to thousands of pounds at large stations.

-degree obtained? gpa? (don't know if necessary or not to include that about home maker)

what was the job description for jobs held from 1990-1994?

No degree but I do have exams on paper that I passed while I attended college.

thanks for the input it has been rewarding.

Edited July 18, 2006 by arwensun1965