GUILT !

[muñequita linda 0]

Not fair I knowz I am missing out on half of this someone point me to a translator program pleaseeeeeee

You'll never understand what some crazy Pinays are up to!

Dude Wait I wanna read this and cant. MARIE Help me

You just blew your cover, bud!

Golly, now I know!

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Okay, while I got the jist of what's going on I don't know the specifics and I don't think they are relevant.

Basically, her hubby was involved in a group where he was contributing money and time/effort. Originally wifie was okay with it but at some point is was causing hubby stress (not getting the expected results/return/recgonition for his contributions). Wifie did something to end hubby's financial contributions without telling him because she believes it's in his best interests. Now she's worried about his reaction if/when he discovers her "white Lie" (maybe denying that she took the action).

@OP:

You & you husband should be able to trust each other enough to talk about anything. Sure there might be hurt feelings at first but if you're honest with him and stress that your concern is for his well-being the it will pass. If not then there are larger problems in your relationship.

The problem with the "White Lie" is that ANY LIE IS DECEPTION and deception implies lack of trust. There will always be hurt feelings when the deception is discovered/revealed. You already admit to the guilt you feel for the deception and until you admit it to him you will continue the deception, more lies on top of the original lie just complicates things.

Tell him now and move on, the longer you wait the bigger the issue will become.

Imagine yourself in his shoes, what if he did the same to you?

[John&Juvy 36]

Goodness, I think we have a big misunderstanding here specially to those some people who is being absurd and jumping to a wrong conclusion.

First of all, The main subject of this topic is "IF" any of you here had experience did something that you cant or didnt tell to your husband for a good reason or just simply as you just cant. What I thought the post that they gonna have that they would be experienced would be.. " They didn't use the money that their husband gave her to pay the credit cards or some other bills because she used the money to let her sister borrowed it " or " not telling to their husband that they spent $500 just for a purse " lol. That's why the Tittle of this topic is a "GUILT confession of wives" . And I was the need to confessed first and that would be the short story that I post in Tag-Lish words that of you here comment badly if how wrong what I did which is I knew already but I still did it that's why I have this guilt and post this topic.

Secondly, Like I said my husband been slowing down about this group for a couple weeks coz of some misagreement with him and that group and realized lately that in some point his loving, risk taker and have a seven wonder of the world temperament of a filipina that his wife have is right lol (joke). I didn't cut a whole Rod between him and this group but only a one tiny piece of a thread ( Huling sulat para sa kanya ng impaktong nasa organisasyon ) that may change his mind which is I know still wrong.

If he found out about it... We will talk about it, argue about it and he will be nasty mad at me.... Fine, I will accept and face it.. He wont forgive me, then screw him lol. He knew I'm against with him to be on this group from the very biggining he told me about this.... But ofcourse I love him dearly and his my husband, I let him do what he wanted to do and yes he was happy about it coz it made him a better person ( the only thing that made me happy also despite of my bad feelings of what his doing ), aside when he came home very tired, look untidy and sick many couple times after driving to 4 to 8 hours out of a different states 4 times a day sometimes. It even affect his real job sometimes....just lucky him atleast coz he doesnt really have specific time to go to work and his above a little of a regular employee. So I am sure it's gonna be a fight when he found out.... But not a surprise to him.

......... And the last, I always respect my husband in every way... but this last piece of thread that I decidedly to cut out of his noticed. Also it doesnt mean that if your husband decide of something doesn't means his always right of those desicion. You gave your opinion about it and he doesnt listen and still did it, you can give your way coz of his manly ego... but if things go bit wrong of that desicion, then I think it's wife's turn to straight ir or stop it. Just little different on my situation coz what I did is by Hook or by Crook when I got the chance (I know, I know... not a good Idea). But I'm not perfect nor a "perfect wife".

"White Lies" ? There is no White lies yet.... Coz he didnt ask me anything about it. It's just a tiny thing that I haven't didnt tell him yet...... Maybe some time, at the right of time. That if kung hindi nya tagala malaman na for the last time may sumulat sa kanya na nag-sorry to probably make them change his mind.

[John&Juvy 36]

I mean he didn't ask me anything about it yet.... to make a lie or a "white lies". Or "white lies" probably not even gonna happen coz I will tell him frankly what I did.

That's all.... But like I said again at the above post... This thread is about filipina wife that still remember hiding things from their husband not about me asking for an advice of what was I guilt about lolz. But anyway, I hope to those people who post exaggeratedly of the confession that I did according to what the topic is all about.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I have to disagree with you here, the deception happens as soon as you hide your action(s) from him. Just because you didn't get caught doesn't mean you didn't do something wrong.

You're correct that he's not always right just because he's the husband. That doesn't however mean that you can always override the end result of a discussion if you don't believe you can get him to see your side (which would imply that you are always right).

The discussion shouldn't stop until there is agreement and no action should be taken prior to that agreement.

I mean he didn't ask me anything about it yet.... to make a lie or a "white lies". Or "white lies" probably not even gonna happen coz I will tell him frankly what I did.

[John&Juvy 36]

I have to disagree with you here, the deception happens as soon as you hide your action(s) from him. Just because you didn't get caught doesn't mean you didn't do something wrong.

You're correct that he's not always right just because he's the husband. That doesn't however mean that you can always override the end result of a discussion if you don't believe you can get him to see your side (which would imply that you are always right).

The discussion shouldn't stop until there is agreement and no action should be taken prior to that agreement.

I mean he didn't ask me anything about it yet.... to make a lie or a "white lies". Or "white lies" probably not even gonna happen coz I will tell him frankly what I did.

LOl the discussion need to stop sometimes if both parties are trying to win if who is right. Which is already happened 6 months ago since he decided to go on even he knows atleast his decision on that time going to hurt me. He thought someday I will realized that he is right and I will get over with it. Every other day or week in 6 months I was upset and hurt me from the insanity, pushing the limit of what we only agreed about what he only gonna do for this organization. I cant stop his descision with my opinion then atleast we can make a deal. We agreed on that deal... But he broke it by exceeding and pushing the limit of what we agreed and that was the problem start. I am his wife... and I want my rights being a wife. I'm not the type maybe of a wife that just gonna shut my mouth up of any desicion his gonna have if it's wrong, in what reason ? What, like the other members said " If his not, im not in the U.S ? ) lol. What a low-profile of a man. I think the right word for that is "If not for him I am not gonna give up my whole life away from my loving and supportive family and friends that I gave up for him". Some of us U.S is not all that.... For some U.S is all for them and only matters, that's why maybe some filipina's just gonna swallow their tongue and they just let them do what their spouses doing and they just do also their own thing. No offense taken from our other pinay member's on VJ, coz I am only talking with those pinay's that I already met that I talked to about their situation.

I wasn't asking for him to give up his job, kids, family, friends and his life that he get used to for me to move in our country.... What I only asked is to always keep what we agree about and his words for it period. For me now, I can even tell him straight into his face what I did with that f***kng letters and his still gonna owe me for those 6 months that he broke our rules and agreement.

Sometimes it is not just about only your spouses happiness, It's about partnership. Look both sides.... His happy of what his doing.... She is not.... How its gonna work ? Talk about it... Talking is not enough coz like I said his trying to convinced me that he is right... and I am trying to convinced him that I was the one whos right.

Last chance........ Compromise. If you going to break it... Better watch out lol.

[Marzy 1]

If you think, your husband's association is a competition in your marriage then try to have conversation with him regarding this issues. This problem will rise if you don't talk to him. Personally, I'm not going to wonder about my predicament, this would harm my husband. I don't have an issues to let him having fun with his friends. On the other hand, we don't need to dictate each other what to do. It doesn't mean, it's okay to cheat or do wild side stuff . The secret weapon? We use common sense.

For me, my marriage is not all about proportionate.

Edited September 16, 2009 by S*J

[Marzy 1]

I have to disagree with you here, the deception happens as soon as you hide your action(s) from him. Just because you didn't get caught doesn't mean you didn't do something wrong.

You're correct that he's not always right just because he's the husband. That doesn't however mean that you can always override the end result of a discussion if you don't believe you can get him to see your side (which would imply that you are always right).

The discussion shouldn't stop until there is agreement and no action should be taken prior to that agreement.

I mean he didn't ask me anything about it yet.... to make a lie or a "white lies". Or "white lies" probably not even gonna happen coz I will tell him frankly what I did.

LOl the discussion need to stop sometimes if both parties are trying to win if who is right. Which is already happened 6 months ago since he decided to go on even he knows atleast his decision on that time going to hurt me. He thought someday I will realized that he is right and I will get over with it. Every other day or week in 6 months I was upset and hurt me from the insanity, pushing the limit of what we only agreed about what he only gonna do for this organization. I cant stop his descision with my opinion then atleast we can make a deal. We agreed on that deal... But he broke it by exceeding and pushing the limit of what we agreed and that was the problem start. I am his wife... and I want my rights being a wife. I'm not the type maybe of a wife that just gonna shut my mouth up of any desicion his gonna have if it's wrong, in what reason ? What, like the other members said " If his not, im not in the U.S ? ) lol. What a low-profile of a man. I think the right word for that is "If not for him I am not gonna give up my whole life away from my loving and supportive family and friends that I gave up for him". Some of us U.S is not all that.... For some U.S is all for them and only matters, that's why maybe some filipina's just gonna swallow their tongue and they just let them do what their spouses doing and they just do also their own thing. No offense taken from our other pinay member's on VJ, coz I am only talking with those pinay's that I already met that I talked to about their situation.

I wasn't asking for him to give up his job, kids, family, friends and his life that he get used to for me to move in our country.... What I only asked is to always keep what we agree about and his words for it period. For me now, I can even tell him straight into his face what I did with that f***kng letters and his still gonna owe me for those 6 months that he broke our rules and agreement.

Sometimes it is not just about only your spouses happiness, It's about partnership. Look both sides.... His happy of what his doing.... She is not.... How its gonna work ? Talk about it... Talking is not enough coz like I said his trying to convinced me that he is right... and I am trying to convinced him that I was the one whos right.

Last chance........ Compromise. If you going to break it... Better watch out lol.

I agreed to this statement. I heard this often "If not him, you're not in US." I'm skeptical when I hear this lines. My husband brought me in U.S to unite with him. He chatted with thousands of Filipinas. He is also wondering why the Filipinas keep saying "she is lucky to have you cause you brought her in America." I told my husband, of course I'm lucky to have you, but I'm their bad luck. However, I made my own luck which I deserved.

Edited September 16, 2009 by S*J

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I know I'm not the intended target for your questions and my replies might not be wanted or appreciated here...

Having said that, if you want good and complete feedback from anyone then you need to provide good and complete information. You last post filling-in some of the missing information.

Now you say that 6 months ago you came to an agreement, compromise so to speak, and since he has broken that agreement and become more involved that he said he would. In this he is wrong and being disrespectful of his wife.

You should stand-up for your rights as his wife & equal partner in the marriage. How do you do this?

You voice you displeasure at what he is doing, in the appropriate manner.

Don't say "You are a hateful liar, you must stop doing this."

Say "When you go against our agreement it makes me feel sad." Explain in detail exactly how you feel, cheap, unimportant, unloved, disrespected, etc.

Don't make statement like "You hurt me this way & that way.", instead say "When you do this & that I feel like this".

Then if he doesn't listen you need to decide if you can remain in a marriage where your value isn't appreciated and you don't feel loved & respected.

BUT... His wrong-doing does not justify your wrong-doing.

If you were not a woman who would lie to her husband they would would you allow his actions to degrade your moral character?

Maybe this just isn't the marriage for you.

For the USC side it's always easy to assume that the Foriegn-Wifie doesn't know or understand things as well as we do but that is also insulting to her. I understand that my wife & I come from different cultures and therefore we see the same situation from different angles.

Honestly, it's just as easy for the UCS to make bad assumptions such as "Now I will be the absolute boss of my marriage and eventually she will come to see things my way".

You deserve to be happy...

Can you be happy if you have to hide things from the man who is supposed to be closer to you than anyone else?

Can you be happy married to a man who doesn't mind hurting you every day?

Edited September 16, 2009 by Bob 4 Anna

[R and F 34]

Oh, man don't understand anything from the initial post. I feel as I am standing with a group of my husbands friends in Morocco and just smiling like a total idiot. Especially when they raise their voices and scream at each other, Yikes.

Edited September 16, 2009 by Rosie and Farid

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

We have the BEST FORUM-NOVELAS in the all VJ......

I would not change this Group for nothing....so many juicy stories....

[muñequita linda 0]

We have the BEST FORUM-NOVELAS in the all VJ......

I would not change this Group for nothing....so many juicy stories....

You're exactly right, Eros. We'll call this novela "El Corazón Salvaje".

[marriedtomrg 141]

It drives my husband crazy when I hide things. He wants everything out in the open so we can deal with it and resolve it if it can be done right away. So imagine how he feels about the whole part of Filipino culture where one would rather tell little white lies because you are embarrassed of what people would think, afraid, or think it is not important to him so you keep it to yourself....instead of telling him exactly what is going on or what you are really thinking or feeling.

If you think this post of yours will not arouse your husband's curiosity, you are sadly mistaken...or worse, deluded. What happens when he asks you what you posted about...will he not ask for a translation? What would you do then...cover up what you did?

No matter how well you can keep a secret, in our experience, these things always have a way of coming back to bite you in the you-know-where...and it always doesn't end well. Are you willing to sacrifice your marriage for that?

You guys really need to sit down and talk about things and each of you has to make an extra effort to understand each other because it really sounds like there is a failure to communicate somewhere in your marriage.

My 2 cents

If you are making a decision for him... you are indirectly telling us that he does not know how to decide.

You should trust your husband enough to make his own decision.

You could tell him your opinion and views, still, he should be the one to make the final decision.

If the information is for him, respect him enough to forward it to him.

Btw, regarding the money thing, if he is the one who earns that money, let him decide where to use it. If your money is involved. That's another story.

If you are making a decision for him... you are indirectly telling us that he does not know how to decide.

You should trust your husband enough to make his own decision.

You could tell him your opinion and views, still, he should be the one to make the final decision.

Like I said....He already realized that what he was doing for the past 6 months was too much and he started to slow down for being active or about to stop about this whole thing. Specially na medyo may misunderstanding na ngyari sa grupo. Hanggang sa kagabi nga nka tanggap na naman kami ng mensahe from them again. Thought enough is enough because this is way too much of what we only agreed about when the first time he asked me na "paminsan-minsan lang naman yung gagawin nya". Thought everything is already back to normal when I see him relax everytime he came home from work. We always talked if what is the problems and very open din to each other not even about even a little from the past, that's why I felt bad about sa ginawa ko kasi for the first time may ginawa ako na hindi ko masabi sa kanya. Being a wife I dont think I can just sit down and ignored him even seeing him exhausted physically and mentally about this.

Regarding about the money.... We both earnings money, honestly... there is no "My Money" and "His Money"between us... It's always "Our Money". We get bankruptcy or get rich it is "US", Not just me or him. I never have also a problem if he spent money for this. The problem here is FAR from the money.. It's about his tttoooo much Effort and tttoooo much time that he spent for this bull without getting any credit sa mga kasama nya.

LOL I wish I can tell the whole Story about this whole thing..... But the whole point about this thread is about kung meron ba dito na na-experienced not the same story pero same na nakapag tago ng sekreto sa mga husband nyo for both own good. I even just to talked about it in our own language lol due my husband checking this site also sometimes lol.

Show some respect to your husband, girl. I think you should go to him and tell him everything you did in SECRET. I wouldn't want to think how pissed off he will be when he finds out that he is the last to know about your little "secret".

I agree with you about the money issue though. . .

Edited September 17, 2009 by marriedtomrg

[Ianne25 0]

We have the BEST FORUM-NOVELAS in the all VJ......

I would not change this Group for nothing....so many juicy stories....

You're exactly right, Eros. We'll call this novela "El Corazón Salvaje".

tele novela ba e2?hehe

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

We have the BEST FORUM-NOVELAS in the all VJ......

I would not change this Group for nothing....so many juicy stories....

You're exactly right, Eros. We'll call this novela "El Corazón Salvaje".

The wild love? Or vida salvaje? Much ado about nothing huh! The poster is making mountains out of a molehill. It's a piece of ######!