Went home for visit...and

[brnidokiegurl 0]

isnt if strange how they all get this ( awww now i see )attitude at different times with different things. I can tell and tell then all of a sudden i get this statement, just like i hadnt been speaking, some lessons are just best learned when (they see)

[caybee 21]

Great stories, Amal! My husband will be back on Tuesday so I'll have lots of questions for him, but I suspect he won't be quite as forthcoming about any disappointments I'd love to know what he thinks of the car traffic. He found the medina incredibly crowded with foot traffic the other night, almost unpleasantly so, which I know is a switch because that was my reaction on my first trip until I got used to it, and he didn't understand why at the time. I know he's had a wonderful time seeing family and catching up with old friends, eating his mom's and sisters' cooking, dancing at a neighbor's wedding, playing an actual "ground game" of soccer instead of one where the ball stays in the air the whole time. It's terribly hot both here and there, but the evenings there are cool, and I know he's liked getting out at night without sweating. I also know he misses his life here, and his wife, and the little one on the way. Not really a bad thing to have a home on each side of the ocean

As for me, I miss him like crazy, and I'm finally figuring out how the remote works. In some ways, I've enjoyed setting my own schedule, but I prefer our occasional collective chaos. But the boredom has also made me very productive, and I think he'll find some nice changes in the apartment when he gets home.

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

Just want to ask a question. Why did your husbands go to there home country alone. And why did you not go with them?

[Aymsgirl 0]

My husband is returning to Egypt either the end of August or middle of September for Ramadan. He will be there about 4 weeks. I am so thankful that your hubby came is realizing some of these things Amal. I am kind of scared how our situation will turn out because it has taken my husband until now to get out of the depression he sunk into after going back home again. His situation is much different than a lot of men here though. I pray the next time he comes back better and maybe can share a few of the things like your husband did. My husband came home thinking that Egypt rocked and America was just a land of sin!

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

My husband is returning to Egypt either the end of August or middle of September for Ramadan. He will be there about 4 weeks. I am so thankful that your hubby came is realizing some of these things Amal. I am kind of scared how our situation will turn out because it has taken my husband until now to get out of the depression he sunk into after going back home again. His situation is much different than a lot of men here though. I pray the next time he comes back better and maybe can share a few of the things like your husband did. My husband came home thinking that Egypt rocked and America was just a land of sin!

America is the land of sin compared to Egypt...... Think about it we have stuff like (what goes on in Vages stays in Vages. On TV videos of girls gone wild. And really how many girls are virgins when they get married? I think the morels in this country went to Hell. That is what I loved about Egypt it is like the 1950's America. When people here still had morrels. And my husband notices all the races people here. The girls walking around half dressed. And how rude people are to each other. Dont get me wrong I love being American but sure wish alot of things could change.

[sandinista! 1,816]

My husband is returning to Egypt either the end of August or middle of September for Ramadan. He will be there about 4 weeks. I am so thankful that your hubby came is realizing some of these things Amal. I am kind of scared how our situation will turn out because it has taken my husband until now to get out of the depression he sunk into after going back home again. His situation is much different than a lot of men here though. I pray the next time he comes back better and maybe can share a few of the things like your husband did. My husband came home thinking that Egypt rocked and America was just a land of sin!

America is the land of sin compared to Egypt...... Think about it we have stuff like (what goes on in Vages stays in Vages. On TV videos of girls gone wild. And really how many girls are virgins when they get married? I think the morels in this country went to Hell. That is what I loved about Egypt it is like the 1950's America. When people here still had morrels. And my husband notices all the races people here. The girls walking around half dressed. And how rude people are to each other. Dont get me wrong I love being American but sure wish alot of things could change.

i think you and 'ihavequestions', and some of the other women who have lived in egypt for an extended period of time need to have a conversation...

[Ihavequestions 419]

My husband is returning to Egypt either the end of August or middle of September for Ramadan. He will be there about 4 weeks. I am so thankful that your hubby came is realizing some of these things Amal. I am kind of scared how our situation will turn out because it has taken my husband until now to get out of the depression he sunk into after going back home again. His situation is much different than a lot of men here though. I pray the next time he comes back better and maybe can share a few of the things like your husband did. My husband came home thinking that Egypt rocked and America was just a land of sin!

America is the land of sin compared to Egypt...... Think about it we have stuff like (what goes on in Vages stays in Vages. On TV videos of girls gone wild. And really how many girls are virgins when they get married? I think the morels in this country went to Hell. That is what I loved about Egypt it is like the 1950's America. When people here still had morrels. And my husband notices all the races people here. The girls walking around half dressed. And how rude people are to each other. Dont get me wrong I love being American but sure wish alot of things could change.

i think you and 'ihavequestions', and some of the other women who have lived in egypt for an extended period of time need to have a conversation...

America is the land of sin compared to EGYPT? Sure! Let's talk!

Those television shows? Yep, they got 'em here, too. American, European, sin, sin, sin. It's all here. It's called SATELLITE TELEVISION. Not only that, but the Egyptian television shows that are shown on local cable television are quite an eye-opener. The previews almost always include a man batting a woman around. Speaking of, the neighbor gave his wife a good thumping last night. She screamed and cried and wailed but that didn't stop him from wailing on her for HOURS. At least in America, the land of SIN, the neighbors would have called the police instead of hanging their heads out of their windows to hear every bit of it.

Virgins? Are you serious? Maybe in Upper Egypt, or out in the country, but in the bigger cities, Alexandria or Cairo, that's so not the case. Do you have any idea what the abortion rate is in Egypt? What an "orphan" really is? How many girls are giving their boyfriends oral and ####### sex in lieu of "going all the way"? And, since we're talking, "the surgery" (read: hymen reconstruction surgery) is ever popular, both in the cities and in the countryside. For 200 LE a girl can be a virgin as many times as she wants to. Do you have any idea what the divorce rate is here? Something like 30% of all marriages don't last a year. After three years, that figure is almost 50%. Women don't have to (publicly) protect their virginity once they're divorced? Every single married Egyptian woman I've met has a boyfriend on the side. Every single one. At least in America, in the land of SIN, married women don't have to worry about a desperate girl chasing their husbands because "he can have four!".

Gambling. Prostitution. Drugs - ohmygod hash is everywhere and people are extremely open about their hash use. Adultery. Murders. Robberies. It's aaaaaall here. Every single SIN America has is right here, iin Egypt. They just do it IN THE DARK. Why do you think Egyptians are such notorious liars? They have to because that's what they have to do to do what they want to do. Egypt has two very different sides: the innocent, pious side and the deep, dark filthy side. Don't be fooled by what you see in the daylight because it all changes when the sun goes down.

[Aymsgirl 0]

My husband is returning to Egypt either the end of August or middle of September for Ramadan. He will be there about 4 weeks. I am so thankful that your hubby came is realizing some of these things Amal. I am kind of scared how our situation will turn out because it has taken my husband until now to get out of the depression he sunk into after going back home again. His situation is much different than a lot of men here though. I pray the next time he comes back better and maybe can share a few of the things like your husband did. My husband came home thinking that Egypt rocked and America was just a land of sin!

America is the land of sin compared to Egypt...... Think about it we have stuff like (what goes on in Vages stays in Vages. On TV videos of girls gone wild. And really how many girls are virgins when they get married? I think the morels in this country went to Hell. That is what I loved about Egypt it is like the 1950's America. When people here still had morrels. And my husband notices all the races people here. The girls walking around half dressed. And how rude people are to each other. Dont get me wrong I love being American but sure wish alot of things could change.

i think you and 'ihavequestions', and some of the other women who have lived in egypt for an extended period of time need to have a conversation...

America is the land of sin compared to EGYPT? Sure! Let's talk!

Those television shows? Yep, they got 'em here, too. American, European, sin, sin, sin. It's all here. It's called SATELLITE TELEVISION. Not only that, but the Egyptian television shows that are shown on local cable television are quite an eye-opener. The previews almost always include a man batting a woman around. Speaking of, the neighbor gave his wife a good thumping last night. She screamed and cried and wailed but that didn't stop him from wailing on her for HOURS. At least in America, the land of SIN, the neighbors would have called the police instead of hanging their heads out of their windows to hear every bit of it.

Virgins? Are you serious? Maybe in Upper Egypt, or out in the country, but in the bigger cities, Alexandria or Cairo, that's so not the case. Do you have any idea what the abortion rate is in Egypt? What an "orphan" really is? How many girls are giving their boyfriends oral and ####### sex in lieu of "going all the way"? And, since we're talking, "the surgery" (read: hymen reconstruction surgery) is ever popular, both in the cities and in the countryside. For 200 LE a girl can be a virgin as many times as she wants to. Do you have any idea what the divorce rate is here? Something like 30% of all marriages don't last a year. After three years, that figure is almost 50%. Women don't have to (publicly) protect their virginity once they're divorced? Every single married Egyptian woman I've met has a boyfriend on the side. Every single one. At least in America, in the land of SIN, married women don't have to worry about a desperate girl chasing their husbands because "he can have four!".

Gambling. Prostitution. Drugs - ohmygod hash is everywhere and people are extremely open about their hash use. Adultery. Murders. Robberies. It's aaaaaall here. Every single SIN America has is right here, iin Egypt. They just do it IN THE DARK. Why do you think Egyptians are such notorious liars? They have to because that's what they have to do to do what they want to do. Egypt has two very different sides: the innocent, pious side and the deep, dark filthy side. Don't be fooled by what you see in the daylight because it all changes when the sun goes down.

I've heard of this stuff and really he isn't a virgin to it either. He knows it! He just had crazy I mean crazy culture shock when he came back. Our biggest issue is how we raise our son. Basically, I will say he thinks that the kids have the fear in the parents about 911 and stuff like that. He is just in fear that he will turn out bad but guess what?? His kiddos aren't saints either. He did say if we took the good here and the good there we would have an awesome country...well uh yeah, we would. Seriously, when he came back when we would argue it would be about stupid stuff like how many mothers do you know that breast feed their babies? (Always throws it up in my face because I couldn't do well on it...well i'm sorry I'm not going to let my baby sit and suck for nothing and waste away calories on NOTHING! My body wouldn't make milk, not my fault!) Mainly, our issues again is about our son. But he will throw up that Egypt is all this and that and I have to just try and bring him down to earth.

[doodlebugg 10]

Just want to ask a question. Why did your husbands go to there home country alone. And why did you not go with them?

$$$$$$$ and kids. No way in heck I could EVER rationalize purchasing a $1,200 round trip ticket to Egypt right now. My ex hasn't paid child support in months and even though I filed with the state he isn't paying them either. We'll see what happens when they revoke his license on the 7th of next month but I suspect he'll keep on driving. Anyway I digress....I just simply cannot afford it after taking such a huge (1/3 of my total income) hit.

As for kids, I made a promise to them that I wouldn't go out of the country again for a while. This transition wasn't always easy on them and although they're adjusting very well I don't want to rock the boat anymore than it's already been rocked.

Even though I'd love to spend a few weeks in Egypt with him I still wouldn't go when he's going (last week of Ramadan and another week after that) because it's H-O-T!!!! I'm a northern girl who loves a nice brisk 60 degree breeze in the air.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I've heard of this stuff and really he isn't a virgin to it either. He knows it! He just had crazy I mean crazy culture shock when he came back. Our biggest issue is how we raise our son. Basically, I will say he thinks that the kids have the fear in the parents about 911 and stuff like that. He is just in fear that he will turn out bad but guess what?? His kiddos aren't saints either. He did say if we took the good here and the good there we would have an awesome country...well uh yeah, we would. Seriously, when he came back when we would argue it would be about stupid stuff like how many mothers do you know that breast feed their babies? (Always throws it up in my face because I couldn't do well on it...well i'm sorry I'm not going to let my baby sit and suck for nothing and waste away calories on NOTHING! My body wouldn't make milk, not my fault!) Mainly, our issues again is about our son. But he will throw up that Egypt is all this and that and I have to just try and bring him down to earth.

Are you SERIOUS? Oh, you are a better woman than me because I can't promise I wouldn't have put a pillow over my husband's face (and held it there until he stopped twitching) over some $hit like that. OMG. If every Egyptian woman nursed her children why on earth would they sell formula in the pharmacies? WHY? Ask him because maybe he knows something I don't and there's actually another reason than the obvious.

Maybe you should remind him that as a US citizen (particularly a Muslim US citizen) your passport is good all over the world (including Mecca) and you're thinking packing it all up and living in Egypt is a mighty good idea so he might want to brush up on his lawyering skills lickety-split. See how well that goes over.

My oh my.

[zahrasalem 114]

I love Egypt so much. I love my husband's Egyptian culture and customs as well (similar to my own)........we plan to save enough money to eventually buy an apartment in Cairo as a summer home.

It's true that every country has it's good and bad points..........but if you don't associate yourself with the bad side or bad people, you could be happy. I have lived in the middle east and Egypt, and being born and raised in the U.S., I can compare the good and bad points.

My husband has never been here, but his concerns about the culture are the lack of modesty of how some women dress in public, loose morals between men and women (married or not), and how disciplining your children here seems to be the public's business. I also have the same issues with living here.

And insha'allah, after the first time we go back to visit Egypt and he can compare both places, if he thinks something in america is better than in Egypt, I definitely WILL NOT rub it in his face, need to "one up" him about it, say "I told you so" or keep score. I will just smile and be so happy that he is becoming more comfortable to live here. After all, it is a huge adjustment for someone to move to a new land and feel comfortable with the new culture. I've done it several times and can appreciate how it feels.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I've heard of this stuff and really he isn't a virgin to it either. He knows it! He just had crazy I mean crazy culture shock when he came back. Our biggest issue is how we raise our son. Basically, I will say he thinks that the kids have the fear in the parents about 911 and stuff like that. He is just in fear that he will turn out bad but guess what?? His kiddos aren't saints either. He did say if we took the good here and the good there we would have an awesome country...well uh yeah, we would. Seriously, when he came back when we would argue it would be about stupid stuff like how many mothers do you know that breast feed their babies? (Always throws it up in my face because I couldn't do well on it...well i'm sorry I'm not going to let my baby sit and suck for nothing and waste away calories on NOTHING! My body wouldn't make milk, not my fault!) Mainly, our issues again is about our son. But he will throw up that Egypt is all this and that and I have to just try and bring him down to earth.

Are you SERIOUS? Oh, you are a better woman than me because I can't promise I wouldn't have put a pillow over my husband's face (and held it there until he stopped twitching) over some $hit like that. OMG. If every Egyptian woman nursed her children why on earth would they sell formula in the pharmacies? WHY? Ask him because maybe he knows something I don't and there's actually another reason than the obvious.

Maybe you should remind him that as a US citizen (particularly a Muslim US citizen) your passport is good all over the world (including Mecca) and you're thinking packing it all up and living in Egypt is a mighty good idea so he might want to brush up on his lawyering skills lickety-split. See how well that goes over.

My oh my.

homicide isn't exactly my thing, but i was pretty disgusted reading that too. how many nursing women in egypt are fully supporting their non-working husbands and children financially? was he planning to compensate her financially for nursing her baby? women have the right to demand payment for it.

[Twisted K 2]

Amal, I love the way you broke the scores down

[Aymsgirl 0]

I've heard of this stuff and really he isn't a virgin to it either. He knows it! He just had crazy I mean crazy culture shock when he came back. Our biggest issue is how we raise our son. Basically, I will say he thinks that the kids have the fear in the parents about 911 and stuff like that. He is just in fear that he will turn out bad but guess what?? His kiddos aren't saints either. He did say if we took the good here and the good there we would have an awesome country...well uh yeah, we would. Seriously, when he came back when we would argue it would be about stupid stuff like how many mothers do you know that breast feed their babies? (Always throws it up in my face because I couldn't do well on it...well i'm sorry I'm not going to let my baby sit and suck for nothing and waste away calories on NOTHING! My body wouldn't make milk, not my fault!) Mainly, our issues again is about our son. But he will throw up that Egypt is all this and that and I have to just try and bring him down to earth.

Are you SERIOUS? Oh, you are a better woman than me because I can't promise I wouldn't have put a pillow over my husband's face (and held it there until he stopped twitching) over some $hit like that. OMG. If every Egyptian woman nursed her children why on earth would they sell formula in the pharmacies? WHY? Ask him because maybe he knows something I don't and there's actually another reason than the obvious.

Maybe you should remind him that as a US citizen (particularly a Muslim US citizen) your passport is good all over the world (including Mecca) and you're thinking packing it all up and living in Egypt is a mighty good idea so he might want to brush up on his lawyering skills lickety-split. See how well that goes over.

My oh my.

Actually, he'd love it! Through all of this crazy ####### he still says let's just go to live in Egypt. You will love it and this and that. Excuse me, nopers, it would just be the same situation reversed around on me. I often remind him, you made the decision to come here not me. He'd move us in a heartbeat if I said let's go. I can't do it with my two other kids and just uproot them and move to a foreign place where they do not know the language or the culture. That is something I refuse to do when they are only 9 and 11. Plus they have a father and his family here that adore them. I wouldn't do it...no way. Believe me sister, I have put up a big fight with him. Brought him down to his knees in tears at times. I told him don't you resent me for your choices you made. I'm not some kind of door mat that you can walk all over and I don't sit here with my mouth shut and I am very independent and get over it, accept it or move on mister. Life is getting better though....not like it was in years before but slowly getting there.

Yeah, Cheematah...he was just blowing smoke out his butt. It was just something that was a tic for a tat at the time. It made me crazy mad though. He never said it directly to me that it was my fault but I knew it was meant as a blow to me. Plus it was all in aggravation at nothing going his way at the time. I probably shouldn't say it but a lot of these guys are like this from ladies I talk to married to them. When things don't go their way they really do act like spoiled baby brats. Again, he's not a bad guy but had some serious problems adjusting after his trip. The year prior to things were awesome...it's when he went home and came back. Plus you know, mama has something to do with it when she calls and busts his ego down.

Edited July 19, 2009 by Aymsgirl

[Aymsgirl 0]

I know this is off topic but seriously, when people say that the waiting for the visa is the easy part I never believed it. It tore my heart out. It's the adjusting to living together and the other person living in a totally different atmosphere that is the hard part. I remember the pain of being apart but in the midst of the adjustment to being here our adjustment journey has been far worse than the time apart. I only hope that everybody on here's adjustment is much better than my husband's.

Again, don't think he is some kind of crazy freak because of his breastfeeding comment. He's just old school. I think he sees a lot of busy mom's who work and just have the choice to not breast feed and he thinks it is better for the baby. I understand I'm sure it is and good for any woman who can do it. I tried it but it didn't work...over and done with for me. I also tell him, you know you can't change the world...let it be and stop stressing the small stuff. I probably shouldn't have shared that because there are times when maybe I have said something I shouldn't have said to him that would have made some of your toes curl.

Edited July 19, 2009 by Aymsgirl