An Open Letter from the People of Texas

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Hey I don't wanna be a goddamn New Yorker

If you need any rotten fruit to throw at them, just give us a call.

What about your supplies of granola and Birkenstocks?

We've found that Birkenstocks don't make very good projectiles.

[almaty 19]

i had a croc throw at me..i think, they are better and don't leave a briuse

[one...two...tree 2,762]

i had a croc throw at me..i think, they are better and don't leave a briuse

[ValentinesWedding 0]

THE COUNTRY of TEXAS

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States .

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas ," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we don't know. Why not ask Obama?

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will have to figure out a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing compute chips and communications equipment -small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. The Houston Medical Center alone employees over 65,000 people.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas Christian, Rice, SMU, University of Dallas , University of Houston , Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.

9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force, and it isn't restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in Texas, it's a Right to Work State and, therefore, it's every man and woman for themselves. We just go out and get the job done. And if we don't like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.

10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, the Texas Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

13. Three of the ten largest cities in the United States , and twenty-three of the 100 largest cities in the United States , are located in Texas . And Texas also has more land than California , New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Maryland , Rhode Island and Vermont combined.

14. Trade: Three of the ten largest ports in the United States are located in Texas .

15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't need to. You see, nothing rusts in Texas , so our vehicles stay beautiful and run well for decades, well most of the time.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications.

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Signed, The People of Texas

As a Native Texan who still lives in Texas, I noticed something's missing from your paean to how self-sufficient Texas allegedly is: W-A-T-E-R. As in, we aint got it -- anymore.

In short, we switched from dryland farming to big-time irrigation. Where tan and faint green were the true colors of the Texas Panhandle, for instance, now there is deep and unnatural green (the color of money for corporate mega-farms)!

I live atop the the Ghost of the Ogallah Aquifer, and it whispers sometimes about how we hardy Texans are going to be paying Mississippi or Mexico or somebody to pipe water to us so we can go on enjoying our "RATS" as independent citizens of this great "Republic."

Can't drink oil....