Long, Strange Journey

[Dante 0]

Hello all,

I haven't visited in a while (and don't think I've ever actually made a post). It's a late night and I'm a bit stressed, so I thought I would share my story with you all. =)

My fiancee and I met through online gaming. Eventually love blossomed on the war-torn battlefields (always wanted to describe meeting in Medal of Honor that way, lol). It was definitely a slow thing. We cautiously started out as friends. And as we shared more we became closer. Until one day love blossomed.

There have been quite a few hardships along the way. My medical records were destroyed by my family doctor (that will teach me to avoid checkups for so long) and of course my vaccination records along with them. (Two vaccinations of three shots and I'm supposedly fine now.) And though we were trying our hardest to get things done as quickly as possible, my mother passed away while we waited for the inner workings of the visa process to move along. She had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and though the treatments were helping, eventually it spread too far and quickly. I keep telling myself that it's alright. She had always wanted nothing but for me to be happy, and knew that my wife-to-be was accomplishing that.

Unfortunately, the fire that kept us moving towards our visa goal (to have my mother attend my wedding) was replaced with grief from the both of us. (Though they had only met twice, my fiancee and mother got along together, thick as thieves at times.) And so it took a while to get everything together to send a checklist to Montreal.

And while the old adage of "Love conquers all" isn't true, it does seem to patch things up. And so, no longer broken, but merely hurting, I renewed my quest for the documents and sent that checklist off. A bare four weeks later I received my interview date. And so I head to Montreal this Thursday for a Friday 8:30 interview.

And now, with a feeling of dread, I try to prepare myself. So much has gone wrong. And the last week or so has been so hectic at work. Crazy deadlines that I needed to stay late just to get the work finished. I'm actually so tired and worn out I couldn't remember my own fiancee's birthday. (Luckily tonight she helped me with a couple of personal quips to remind me.)

So why post? To share my story. Hopefully to dump some of my stress and worry on the page.

Wish me luck everyone. I have no idea what to expect from the interview, and I'm sure I'll panic at least a dozen times between now and then. But if all goes well, there will be a wedding in my near future with the most wonderful woman I've ever met. And sitting in the seat meant for her will be a photo of my mother. There in spirit.

Thanks for listening.

~J

[MrsCat 6]

Very sorry to hear of the recent loss of your mother.

We're always here to lend an ear on VJ.

Good luck with the interview Dante.

[shiri 0]

I am sorry to hear about your mother also! My husband and I met while playing ffxi online, so i totally understand that situation. We were friends that blossomed to more on the battlefields also... lol. We are awaiting our interview date. Good luck with the interview Dante! Let us know how it goes!

Edited December 15, 2008 by shiri

[Carlawarla 1]

Your story of having met your fiance on-line is a much familiar one for many on VJ. A few even met while gaming as well. I believe in fate, so it doesn't matter where you met, the fact that you did in this huge big ol' world says it all.

I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing as well. I'm glad that your fiance got to meet her, and her sharing of your grief, which is hers as well now, further brings you together.

I wish you luck at your upcoming interview, and hope that you don't "dread" the interview. For many VJ'ers in the Canada forum, it's rather anti-climatic, and over quickly with little pain.

What a lovely touch of having your Mother's photo at the wedding as well. I'm sure she'll be looking down on you both with love.

[Emancipation 2]

Dante.. what a ride you two have been on. Sorry to hear of your mum's passing. Losing a parent is such a huge loss. Sending good vibes for your interview.

[trailmix 77]

Hi Dante,

Welcome.

So sorry to hear about your Mother, that must be so tough for both of you.

If you have time, there are many reviews here of interviews and you will find that, as Carla mentioned, they are generally no big deal. Just a note, your 'appointment' is at 8:30 - so you know, they don't actually stick to those times, it's first come first served, so if you feel like being there when the doors open around 7:30, you may be first in line!

Best of luck with your interview

[thetreble 19]

Dante,

Nothing but luck for you and your fiance. Everything will be fine and all your struggles will be worth it. I'm sorry to hear about your mother and I couldn't imagine the stress of dealing with that grief and going through this process. WE are all praying for ya.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

(((((((((((((((Dante))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry about your mother and can sympathize. My mother passed away after a brief illness 4 days after we submitted our I-129 petition for the K-1. My fiancee never got to meet my mother and I know they would have been best of friends.

You will do fine at the interview. View your trip to Montreal like a short holiday with the special treat of getting your visa thrown in. The interview is actually one of the easiest parts of the whole process. Bring a book with you because even though the view is spectacular you will do some waiting during the different parts of the process.

Good luck to you and your fiancee and look forward to the wonderful years ahead for the two of you.

[angie007 0]

Dante..wish you good luck..so sorry about your mother...

it's nice to know that you find comfort on sharing your stories with VJ'ers..

[Dante 0]

Thank you for the replies everyone. I read the responses after arriving at work early today. Several delays and I managed to get everything finished for my work deadline. A long relaxing shower this evening and I felt good enough to tackle a review of my paperwork... and promptly panic. (If you ask my fiancee, I always worry myself sick over things and should take a few deep breaths. I think I need to stop looking at my papers and get some sleep. =P ) I should be alright on the paperwork. A few odds and ends and I believe I have everything I need for Friday.

And a special thank you for the condolences here. It helped to know complete strangers show sympathy for others. And all credit for the photo at our wedding goes to my one and only. She suggested it perhaps a little too early. I wasn't prepared for the idea at the time. But it's the right thing to do and I fully appreciate it now.

I'll be sure to let everyone know how things go on Friday.

[trailmix 77]

Thank you for the replies everyone. I read the responses after arriving at work early today. Several delays and I managed to get everything finished for my work deadline. A long relaxing shower this evening and I felt good enough to tackle a review of my paperwork... and promptly panic. (If you ask my fiancee, I always worry myself sick over things and should take a few deep breaths. I think I need to stop looking at my papers and get some sleep. =P ) I should be alright on the paperwork. A few odds and ends and I believe I have everything I need for Friday.

And a special thank you for the condolences here. It helped to know complete strangers show sympathy for others. And all credit for the photo at our wedding goes to my one and only. She suggested it perhaps a little too early. I wasn't prepared for the idea at the time. But it's the right thing to do and I fully appreciate it now.

I'll be sure to let everyone know how things go on Friday.

Please do and rather than staying up all night, if you want to share a list of your paperwork to double check you have everything, we are here!

[Brian and Jenn 0]

I wish you all the best on Friday!

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Like you said in your first post, she wishes you nothing but happiness and would love nothing but that. So go to that interview with your head up high and just know that everything will work out!!

[SpiritAlight 1]

Dear Dante,

Wonderful to read your story.

Way to go for expressing yourself.

My sweetie and I had a rough start as we were by his father's death bed for a few months.

Wedding, schmedding...not the time for celebrating anything other than life: his dad's life that was left.

So off to city hall and sign another piece of paper (timelines, you know...damn that immigration #######)...does not feel like we are "married".

Maybe one day...

So, here's what I want to say to you:

1. look at the checklist of what to bring to the interview (it is all over the place here on VJ)

2. verify you have it all together

3. read some past interview experiences

4. know that with papers in hand there is no way you will not be successful

5. RELAX...it is all perfect!

I wish you and your fiancée a wonderful apres-interview celebration!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Dante....

I read your post shortly after you posted it but was on my way out and was unable to reply until now.

First...((((((((((((DANTE)))))))))))) Sending you big hugs!

I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom. Going through this process is so stressful and to have something like that happen during this time or any time....well....my heart goes out to you. May she rest in peace.

As for your interview, don't sweat it. You are on an amazing website. VJ prepares thousands of couples for the interview and has so much information about what the procedure is and how the interview is conducted.

My interview this past June went so well, literally stress free. It was more stressful getting to Montreal than it was the actual interview.

Go over the checklists (Many people have posted them all over this site) and just be prepared. If you want to read my interview review, just click on my timeline, it's there.

I wish you so much luck and a quick reunion with your love. This ride is crazy, long, hectic and amazing.

I cherish my husband every single day, I know how hard we worked to be together and I tell him how thankful I am for him all the time.

Happy holidays and pre-congrats on your interview, I'm sure you will pass with flying colours.

*hugs*

~Laura

[Dante 0]

Again, thanks everyone for the kindness and support. I think I feel much better now after reading Laura's review of her own interview. =)

Today was another rough day at work. I work at an architecture firm. Our project leader is a friendly guy and was understanding when I told him no more overtime or weekends. But he still has a habit as I'm walking out the door of "oh, one more thing!" And it keeps repeating. I was a little out of sorts when he kept doing it tonight and finally simply left with a coworker, telling him I was confident he could sort it out himself. I do feel bad about leaving the team with a deadline for tomorrow morning. Then I remember all the overtime I've done recently and remind myself this is a year and a half that's culminating in my entire future with the woman I love. Work comes second.

I hope you all don't mind, but I'm just going to do a quick review to make sure I have everything. I think I'll be ready once I confirm I have absolutely everything. And a good night's sleep is exactly what I'm going to get tonight.

My appointment letter. (I was so happy to get this!)

My passport (good until March 2010).

Police certificate (August 2008).

Long form birth certificate.

Certified copy of her divorce certificate (I don't think there will be any problem that it only shows her married name, I hope).

Notarized I-134 with a letter from her work and bank (in duplicate).

The results of my medical exam from April 2008 (are the vaccination records only required for the change of status?).

Two passport photos in the US standard. (I think these are the most worrisome. I went and had two more done tonight since my previous ones were from March 2008 and wasn't sure if they needed to be of more recent vintage. However, upon getting home I found out that the new photos show a funny glow all around me. I think I might need to run back to Black's and complain during my lunch break tomorrow.)

Everything but the medical results are sitting in the prepaid Xpresspost envelope at the moment.

Tonight I'll be digging up all previously submitted paperwork (kept copies of all of mine AND my fiancee's). I plan on bringing this along just in case. I'm also going to bring some printed out emails between the time of our original application and now, as well as a few more phone bills. Just in case. (Everyone tells me, whether it's work or anything else, that I tend to be overcautious. But hey, this is my future wife we're talking about. If she's not worth a few more grey hairs to ensure everything is perfect, then who is?) I'm also going to get her to send a new letter of intent. Just in case anyone at the consulate has the crazy idea she's changed her mind. I'll tell them to their face if they question me.

But before I start digging, I'm going to call my love and relax for a bit.

You know, I came back here looking up some information and posted on a whim; hoping to ease some of my anxieties. I never expected to find so many wonderful people. Thank you all for the kind words, encouragement, condolences, and even pieces of your own stories.