Going through a rought time, needing some sound advice.

[HappyDancer 7]

Lee,

You are not alone. Your fiancee is not alone. I have just gotten out of the hospital about 2 weeks ago due to stress and a lot of it has top do with this whole crappy K1 process which is entirely too slow for my entirely too impatient self.

But you know I have realized that it really doesn't help any in making everything easier for me and my fiance (USC). All the more he gets worried and I am causing undue stress too.

Why don't you guys go ahead and divert your attention to more pleasant things like maybe the planning for the wedding when your petition gets approved.

It's not easy. I have been there. Still are struggling to get out of the depression. But no one really takes care of you but yourself. Relax and keep the faith.

[jundp 191]

Is your girl pressuring you to come over? What do you mean - respecting her feelings and what she decides to do?

Americans have a tendency to be impatient. I've observed that a lot of people from the UK are a bit more pragmatic and have a more tolerant approach to lifes hassles. My sweet UK man was my rock during our process - he calmed me down and soothed me.

Am I picking up that your girl should learn to appreciate your steadfast qualities and apply them a bit to your relationship? That's one of the things I love the most about my husband - he calms me down.

No pressure, she's just going through a lot on her own with two kids, and little support. I'm usually a great source of comfort and I do calm her, she's just having it exceptionally difficult lately. The comfort over distance can only help so much, you know?

Lee,

It is very difficult to go through this for sure. I can empathize with your fiancee. I too was a single mom with two kids. It was exhausting sometimes thinking how close I was to being with Patrick, only to realize that as close as it was...it was also so far away (if that makes any sense). We took full advantage of the VWP too. For various reasons he didn't move until this past July, even though he got his visa in April. That was tough too, but we had no choice.

Is it possible for your fiancee to visit you in the UK?

Also, this may provide some comfort to you. We got everything ready for Patrick to send the consulate before he came to visit me. We actually got the NOA2 while I was visiting Germany for Christmas. He had already bought a ticket to come spend 6 weeks with me the week after I returned to the states. He got all his information ready and when the packet arrived from Frankfurt, his parents just scanned and sent everything to us. The rest we downloaded from the consulate website. He was able to send the packet back before he ever returned to Germany.

Hang in there. Both of you. It's tough but you are in the home stretch!

Plan your honeymoon It gives you something to look forward to.

Jen

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Hi Lee,

I just wanted to add my support to you as well as you wait through this process. I know that my fiance and I had some rough moments, wondering even if we were 'meant to be' because of all of the delays in our visa quest. I just wanted to add, along with my good wishes, the recommendation that whenever you are asked by any stage of immigration - at the airport, on any USCIS or Consulate paperwork, in person, whatever - always mention ALL times you have been denied a visa or turned back at the border. They need you to tell them about all occasions as they will use that as a means to test your honesty and credibility. If you only mention the last time, they may think you are trying to hide the first time and pull a fast one and the consequences would be much, much worse than the long waiting that you do now. So, regardless of what you decide to do, always mention ALL times you have been denied or turned back due to immigration issues. Being turned back because of immigrant intent will not have a negative impact on your K-1. By having the K-1 you will have the documentary proof of your intended status and show that you have followed the legal process to the letter.

Good luck and hang on - you should be getting your NOA2 very soon and once that happens you will feel so much 'closer' than you feel now. It is surprising what that little piece of paper accomplishes for your feelings. You feel like you have some control back in your life, that finally things are moving and there is something that you can do to bring that visa into the home stretch.

Edited October 13, 2008 by Kathryn41