You must be a Liberal Democrat

[kaydee457 13]

A blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.

Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.'

'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?'

'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.'

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!'

The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?'

The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls...You must be a Liberal Democrat'

[no name 1]

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

A long build-up for an out of context punchline

[LoriLawless 1]

A long build-up for an out of context punchline

[kaydee457 13]

A long build-up for an out of context punchline

Enjoy the joke. You're such an elitist!

[no name 1]

Hilarious quiz....

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl..._obama_quiz.htm

My score: Your score is 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a fierce opponent of Barack Obama. He is the embodiment of everything you despise in a politician: an elitist, morally superior, gun-grabbing, religion-bashing, terrorist-coddling appeaser who threatens all that is good and decent in America. Plus, he bowls like a girl.

Edited September 23, 2008 by illumine

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I have a token "hehe" for you...

Hey - seeing as you find humor in stereotyping others - how do you like these potatoes?

You know you're a conservative when you can believe that the nation should be ruled according to the Bible but conveniently forget the part about wealth being the most certain path AWAY from any Christian ideal of heaven.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that the poor are in that situation because they are lazy and then you thank God for all of your good fortunes (see above).

You know you're a conservative when you demand that a collection of cells in a woman's womb constitutes life and then, eighteen or nineteen years later, you send that same collection of cells off to kill and die for puerile and insane political or economic reasons.

You believe that a profit-driven and greed filled multinational corporation will behave decently enough to protect the environment, workers, and provide safe and healthful products but an elected and responsive government that protects consumers from those same corporations is too "inefficient".

You know you're a conservative when you think that PBS is a waste of public funds but allowing corporations to pay for the programs (and to limit what those programs can say) is somehow an intelligent alternative.

You know you're a conservative when you happily support even the most insane policy of the NRA while whining that the ACLU is going over board when it questions society's need for automatic weapons with ammo clips that hold a hundred Teflon coated, armor penetrating bullets.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but ignore the hundreds of thousands of deaths that the sacred tobacco plant causes.

In fact, you know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but you die from coronary disease brought on by a life of fatty food and days spent as a couch potato.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that affirmative action for blacks or women is unconstitutional but the good ol' boy admission policies at places like Yale and Harvard are the right of the wealthy.

You know you're a conservative when you think photos of naked humans are evil and pictures of two humans engaged in the act of sex sends you into spasms but filling the planet with real filth and pollution is justifiable as a cost of doing business.

You know you're a conservative when you want to ban any form of sex education in schools but then refuse to offer care, through welfare or food stamps, for the children conceived by uneducated kids .

You know you're a conservative when you believe that inflicting physical pain on a child teaches them respect or discipline or whatever but making white collar criminals pay for their sins is interfering with the capitalist system.

You know you're a conservative when you detest funding public schools but see nothing wrong with wasting tax dollars on vouchers to pay for an education at private or religious schools for wealthy families.

You know you're a conservative when you see no irony in demanding that other nations rise to an arbitrary level of human rights while America has the highest per capita prison population on Earth, more than Iran or Russia or China or any other country we are so quick to criticize.

You know you're a conservative when you think that a President that puts his weenie where it might not ought to be is worthy of impeachment but a President who send military weapons, including sophisticated anti-aircraft, shoulder-mounted missiles, deserved to be pardoned by his hand-picked water boy.

Finally, you know you're a conservative when you believe that greed, selfishness, hate, divisiveness, and the adoration of the wealthy is an acceptable life. For the record, it isn't.

http://www.anotherperspective.org/advoc453.html

Hey - even more!

You know you're a Republican when...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/knowrep.html

[kaydee457 13]

I have a token "hehe" for you...

Hey - seeing as you find humor in stereotyping others - how do you like these potatoes?

You know you're a conservative when you can believe that the nation should be ruled according to the Bible but conveniently forget the part about wealth being the most certain path AWAY from any Christian ideal of heaven.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that the poor are in that situation because they are lazy and then you thank God for all of your good fortunes (see above).

You know you're a conservative when you demand that a collection of cells in a woman's womb constitutes life and then, eighteen or nineteen years later, you send that same collection of cells off to kill and die for puerile and insane political or economic reasons.

You believe that a profit-driven and greed filled multinational corporation will behave decently enough to protect the environment, workers, and provide safe and healthful products but an elected and responsive government that protects consumers from those same corporations is too "inefficient".

You know you're a conservative when you think that PBS is a waste of public funds but allowing corporations to pay for the programs (and to limit what those programs can say) is somehow an intelligent alternative.

You know you're a conservative when you happily support even the most insane policy of the NRA while whining that the ACLU is going over board when it questions society's need for automatic weapons with ammo clips that hold a hundred Teflon coated, armor penetrating bullets.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but ignore the hundreds of thousands of deaths that the sacred tobacco plant causes.

In fact, you know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but you die from coronary disease brought on by a life of fatty food and days spent as a couch potato.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that affirmative action for blacks or women is unconstitutional but the good ol' boy admission policies at places like Yale and Harvard are the right of the wealthy.

You know you're a conservative when you think photos of naked humans are evil and pictures of two humans engaged in the act of sex sends you into spasms but filling the planet with real filth and pollution is justifiable as a cost of doing business.

You know you're a conservative when you want to ban any form of sex education in schools but then refuse to offer care, through welfare or food stamps, for the children conceived by uneducated kids .

You know you're a conservative when you believe that inflicting physical pain on a child teaches them respect or discipline or whatever but making white collar criminals pay for their sins is interfering with the capitalist system.

You know you're a conservative when you detest funding public schools but see nothing wrong with wasting tax dollars on vouchers to pay for an education at private or religious schools for wealthy families.

You know you're a conservative when you see no irony in demanding that other nations rise to an arbitrary level of human rights while America has the highest per capita prison population on Earth, more than Iran or Russia or China or any other country we are so quick to criticize.

You know you're a conservative when you think that a President that puts his weenie where it might not ought to be is worthy of impeachment but a President who send military weapons, including sophisticated anti-aircraft, shoulder-mounted missiles, deserved to be pardoned by his hand-picked water boy.

Finally, you know you're a conservative when you believe that greed, selfishness, hate, divisiveness, and the adoration of the wealthy is an acceptable life. For the record, it isn't.

http://www.anotherperspective.org/advoc453.html

Hey - even more!

You know you're a Republican when...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/knowrep.html

Jokes over. You're such a bore.......

I have a token "hehe" for you...

Hey - seeing as you find humor in stereotyping others - how do you like these potatoes?

You know you're a conservative when you can believe that the nation should be ruled according to the Bible but conveniently forget the part about wealth being the most certain path AWAY from any Christian ideal of heaven.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that the poor are in that situation because they are lazy and then you thank God for all of your good fortunes (see above).

You know you're a conservative when you demand that a collection of cells in a woman's womb constitutes life and then, eighteen or nineteen years later, you send that same collection of cells off to kill and die for puerile and insane political or economic reasons.

You believe that a profit-driven and greed filled multinational corporation will behave decently enough to protect the environment, workers, and provide safe and healthful products but an elected and responsive government that protects consumers from those same corporations is too "inefficient".

You know you're a conservative when you think that PBS is a waste of public funds but allowing corporations to pay for the programs (and to limit what those programs can say) is somehow an intelligent alternative.

You know you're a conservative when you happily support even the most insane policy of the NRA while whining that the ACLU is going over board when it questions society's need for automatic weapons with ammo clips that hold a hundred Teflon coated, armor penetrating bullets.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but ignore the hundreds of thousands of deaths that the sacred tobacco plant causes.

In fact, you know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but you die from coronary disease brought on by a life of fatty food and days spent as a couch potato.

You know you're a conservative when you believe that affirmative action for blacks or women is unconstitutional but the good ol' boy admission policies at places like Yale and Harvard are the right of the wealthy.

You know you're a conservative when you think photos of naked humans are evil and pictures of two humans engaged in the act of sex sends you into spasms but filling the planet with real filth and pollution is justifiable as a cost of doing business.

You know you're a conservative when you want to ban any form of sex education in schools but then refuse to offer care, through welfare or food stamps, for the children conceived by uneducated kids .

You know you're a conservative when you believe that inflicting physical pain on a child teaches them respect or discipline or whatever but making white collar criminals pay for their sins is interfering with the capitalist system.

You know you're a conservative when you detest funding public schools but see nothing wrong with wasting tax dollars on vouchers to pay for an education at private or religious schools for wealthy families.

You know you're a conservative when you see no irony in demanding that other nations rise to an arbitrary level of human rights while America has the highest per capita prison population on Earth, more than Iran or Russia or China or any other country we are so quick to criticize.

You know you're a conservative when you think that a President that puts his weenie where it might not ought to be is worthy of impeachment but a President who send military weapons, including sophisticated anti-aircraft, shoulder-mounted missiles, deserved to be pardoned by his hand-picked water boy.

Finally, you know you're a conservative when you believe that greed, selfishness, hate, divisiveness, and the adoration of the wealthy is an acceptable life. For the record, it isn't.

http://www.anotherperspective.org/advoc453.html

Hey - even more!

You know you're a Republican when...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/knowrep.html

Jokes over. You're such a bore.......

Your score is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a fierce opponent of Barack Obama. He is the embodiment of everything you despise in a politician: an elitist, morally superior, gun-grabbing, religion-bashing, terrorist-coddling appeaser who threatens all that is good and decent in America. Plus, he bowls like a girl.

THANK GOD!

[symbiosis 0]

this stupidity and anti-intellectualism reminds me of something i read today by Sam Harris:

We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

lol

[HAL 9000 96]

Damn... what a surprise.

NOT

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

this stupidity and anti-intellectualism reminds me of something i read today by Sam Harris:

We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080

Yep - good point.

Which is why the "elitist" accusation is not only an inaccurate label (in general), but rather silly also.

[no name 1]

this stupidity and anti-intellectualism reminds me of something i read today by Sam Harris:

We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080

Yep - good point.

Which is why the "elitist" accusation is not only an inaccurate label (in general), but rather silly also.

but elitism is a very different word than elite.

[HAL 9000 96]

The other day I saw an MD/PhD student walking down the hall. He's one of 2 that I know of that are younger than 18.

I almost wanted to shout out that he was an elitist.

[jundp 191]

this stupidity and anti-intellectualism reminds me of something i read today by Sam Harris:

We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080

Yep - good point.

Which is why the "elitist" accusation is not only an inaccurate label (in general), but rather silly also.

but elitism is a very different word than elite.

Well one can be used as a noun OR an adjective, and one is only a noun. Yeah, those are very different

The other day I saw an MD/PhD student walking down the hall. He's one of 2 that I know of that are younger than 18.

I almost wanted to shout out that he was an elitist.

He's probably a damn communist too.