Co mingling finances.. loans etc

[doodlebugg 10]

I haven't comingled a thing yet. Once we went into my bank, which I've been with for over 25 years AND used to work at as both a bank teller while in college and in the acctg dept, to make a simple deposit. It struck me "oh we should add your name to my accounts to make them "ours" since you have your SS number now.

We waited for the customer service person to say come in to her office and I told her I'd like to add my husband to my accounts. She asked for ID so I gave her my license and he gave her his ss card and ead card. She spent several minutes on the computer, didn't look up and said, "he's not even in the system???".

I said, "what system?" and she sighed and said, "the BANK system".

I said "no, he just got here a couple of months ago and just got his ss card a couple of weeks ago.

She took his EAD card then tossed it on the desk towards him and said, "THAT's not even a greencard!!"

I just *looked* at her and said, "is there a problem??" at which point she walked out. She came back and said, "i'll need your passport" and he said "I don't have it on me" and she said "well there's nothing I can do for you"

I won't get into what happened next but she was the rudest sonofabeeeatch and I reported her to the president of the bank and got MANY apologies later.

I haven't re-attempted to comingle funds yet.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I haven't comingled a thing yet. Once we went into my bank, which I've been with for over 25 years AND used to work at as both a bank teller while in college and in the acctg dept, to make a simple deposit. It struck me "oh we should add your name to my accounts to make them "ours" since you have your SS number now.

We waited for the customer service person to say come in to her office and I told her I'd like to add my husband to my accounts. She asked for ID so I gave her my license and he gave her his ss card and ead card. She spent several minutes on the computer, didn't look up and said, "he's not even in the system???".

I said, "what system?" and she sighed and said, "the BANK system".

I said "no, he just got here a couple of months ago and just got his ss card a couple of weeks ago.

She took his EAD card then tossed it on the desk towards him and said, "THAT's not even a greencard!!"

I just *looked* at her and said, "is there a problem??" at which point she walked out. She came back and said, "i'll need your passport" and he said "I don't have it on me" and she said "well there's nothing I can do for you"

I won't get into what happened next but she was the rudest sonofabeeeatch and I reported her to the president of the bank and got MANY apologies later.

I haven't re-attempted to comingle funds yet.

You should make this a priority Bridget, it's really important. I added my husband to my accounts as soon as I could. BTW, I had NO IDEA we would have our green card interview 2 months after we applied. Thanks God that I added him when I did!

[Staashi 371]

I haven't comingled a thing yet. Once we went into my bank, which I've been with for over 25 years AND used to work at as both a bank teller while in college and in the acctg dept, to make a simple deposit. It struck me "oh we should add your name to my accounts to make them "ours" since you have your SS number now.

We waited for the customer service person to say come in to her office and I told her I'd like to add my husband to my accounts. She asked for ID so I gave her my license and he gave her his ss card and ead card. She spent several minutes on the computer, didn't look up and said, "he's not even in the system???".

I said, "what system?" and she sighed and said, "the BANK system".

I said "no, he just got here a couple of months ago and just got his ss card a couple of weeks ago.

She took his EAD card then tossed it on the desk towards him and said, "THAT's not even a greencard!!"

I just *looked* at her and said, "is there a problem??" at which point she walked out. She came back and said, "i'll need your passport" and he said "I don't have it on me" and she said "well there's nothing I can do for you"

I won't get into what happened next but she was the rudest sonofabeeeatch and I reported her to the president of the bank and got MANY apologies later.

I haven't re-attempted to comingle funds yet.

That is crappy treatment to say the least. I will say that what you can start by doing is contacting certain companies like the phone company, electric co, etc to put his name with yours. I'm really sorry about all of this for you...you do need to talk to someone there who can truly help you. My husband and I first started out with our own accounts, me at one bank and he at BofA. Over time, we realized that it would just be better for us to combine into one checking account.

Don't get me wrong, this whole comingling thing is a big pain in the booty, but there is a point to it...and you all will be better for it.

Edited July 9, 2008 by Staashi

[ak3 0]

sorry about that...I am really getting tired of people judging my husband also...even though some people think he is mexican and try speaking spanish to him...he was discriminated against in trying to apply for a job. We live amongst a bunch of hillbillies and I am so desperate to get out of this town and closer to civilized people--

I dunno if anyone else has had this problem, but everytime ahmed gets an interview, they ask him a lot of questions about the pyramids, does he like it here, what does he miss, and that frustrates him so much because he wants to be treated like any other person....they alwyas tell him they wll call him and then do not even bother to say no thanks. I can only imagine how that would feel. Does anyone else have this problem

Edited July 9, 2008 by ahmkri

[♥JP♥ 5]

About this whole discrimination thing. Even if you move to a larger more civilized town, doesnt mean things will change.

We live in a very civilized town that is multi cultural but even we have our idiots. About two years ago, a women wearing hijab was picking up her 5 year old son from school and a man shot her for no reason. They chalked that up to a hate crime.

The church I attend and have been a member of my entire life has a congregation that is mostly Palestinian, a short time after 9/11 someone doused the church with gas and the entire church was burnt down. They never found who was responsible and just chalked it up to a hate crime.

Just the other day, my husband works at Toyota as a salesman. It was the day before the 4th of July and this guy was shopping for a truck. Well long story short, they didn't have what he wanted and he refused to accept that and told my husband to go find it because he was there to serve him. He went on saying that tomorrow was the 4th of July and its his freedom to have this immigrant serve him. My husband told him to STFU and he the guy pushed my husband to which he then decked him. (still makes me laugh). The managers came out and told the guy to leave or they would call the cops. He left while yelling out a bunch on racial slurs. His father who was with him came back and apologized to my husband.

But this stuff happens everywhere.

[ak3 0]

Yeah I agree it happens everywhere, but sometimes it feels like there are more idiots here in Texas. There are a lot of idiots here and a lot of war supporters. I have to deal with a lot of these people and sometimes I just cant take it. Anyways, he was thinkging of changing his name when he gets citizenship...but Im not sure if that will help him get a good job...

[♥JP♥ 5]

Yeah I agree it happens everywhere, but sometimes it feels like there are more idiots here in Texas. There are a lot of idiots here and a lot of war supporters. I have to deal with a lot of these people and sometimes I just cant take it. Anyways, he was thinkging of changing his name when he gets citizenship...but Im not sure if that will help him get a good job...

Which part of Texas are you in? There are some areas that are heavily populated by arabs.

[AlHayatZween 2]

That is crappy treatment to say the least. I will say that what you can start by doing is contacting certain companies like the phone company, electric co, etc to put his name with yours. I'm really sorry about all of this for you...you do need to talk to someone there who can truly help you. My husband and I first started out with our own accounts, me at one bank and he at BofA. Over time, we realized that it would just be better for us to combine into one checking account.

Don't get me wrong, this whole comingling thing is a big pain in the booty, but there is a point to it...and you all will be better for it.

really? you can add your SO's name to your electric & phone bills? do they need to have an SSN or do you just call to add them?

(sorry, i'm a newbie at the whole AOS thing.... )

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

About this whole discrimination thing. Even if you move to a larger more civilized town, doesnt mean things will change.

We live in a very civilized town that is multi cultural but even we have our idiots. About two years ago, a women wearing hijab was picking up her 5 year old son from school and a man shot her for no reason. They chalked that up to a hate crime.

The church I attend and have been a member of my entire life has a congregation that is mostly Palestinian, a short time after 9/11 someone doused the church with gas and the entire church was burnt down. They never found who was responsible and just chalked it up to a hate crime.

Just the other day, my husband works at Toyota as a salesman. It was the day before the 4th of July and this guy was shopping for a truck. Well long story short, they didn't have what he wanted and he refused to accept that and told my husband to go find it because he was there to serve him. He went on saying that tomorrow was the 4th of July and its his freedom to have this immigrant serve him. My husband told him to STFU and he the guy pushed my husband to which he then decked him. (still makes me laugh). The managers came out and told the guy to leave or they would call the cops. He left while yelling out a bunch on racial slurs. His father who was with him came back and apologized to my husband.

But this stuff happens everywhere.

I have not seen a single incidence of anyone mistreating anyone because they are arab around here. Very very very rare.. This is because my city is so international and so full of tourists that it would take all day if you went in certain places to even find someone from here. Also some of the highest paying jobs ( well not now) like car sales and timeshare sales are filled with arabs. I could never imagine anyone mistreating anyone because they were arab. Often in some respects, the arabs in some fields out pace and mistreat the Americans working because they are very much the majority in certain fields.. ( AGAIN SALES). I think its due to their willingness to work hard.

I have been the victim of discrimination based on the fact I was married to an arab though. Its not an outright discrimination but you can kind of tell how people have a deep seated disdain for many middle easterners ... its not overt.. its covert and said behind your back..The arabs themselves don't always fully accept you... then you have to deal with your own peoples ideas and misconceptions of arabs

One thing that I did see in the past is that arabs themselves have alot of misconceptions about Americans in general due to the limited amount of Americans they interact with. Like if they work in car sales with some "family guy" or homer simpson guy, they think all Americans are ignorant or sloppy etc.

Again, your opinions are always based on personal experiences. If all I saw was where I lived, I would tell you that no one cares if you are arab or not and they experience little or no OVERT harassment.

[Staashi 371]

That is crappy treatment to say the least. I will say that what you can start by doing is contacting certain companies like the phone company, electric co, etc to put his name with yours. I'm really sorry about all of this for you...you do need to talk to someone there who can truly help you. My husband and I first started out with our own accounts, me at one bank and he at BofA. Over time, we realized that it would just be better for us to combine into one checking account.

Don't get me wrong, this whole comingling thing is a big pain in the booty, but there is a point to it...and you all will be better for it.

really? you can add your SO's name to your electric & phone bills? do they need to have an SSN or do you just call to add them?

(sorry, i'm a newbie at the whole AOS thing.... )

You should be able to...sometimes all you can do is ask.

[♥JP♥ 5]

About this whole discrimination thing. Even if you move to a larger more civilized town, doesnt mean things will change.

We live in a very civilized town that is multi cultural but even we have our idiots. About two years ago, a women wearing hijab was picking up her 5 year old son from school and a man shot her for no reason. They chalked that up to a hate crime.

The church I attend and have been a member of my entire life has a congregation that is mostly Palestinian, a short time after 9/11 someone doused the church with gas and the entire church was burnt down. They never found who was responsible and just chalked it up to a hate crime.

Just the other day, my husband works at Toyota as a salesman. It was the day before the 4th of July and this guy was shopping for a truck. Well long story short, they didn't have what he wanted and he refused to accept that and told my husband to go find it because he was there to serve him. He went on saying that tomorrow was the 4th of July and its his freedom to have this immigrant serve him. My husband told him to STFU and he the guy pushed my husband to which he then decked him. (still makes me laugh). The managers came out and told the guy to leave or they would call the cops. He left while yelling out a bunch on racial slurs. His father who was with him came back and apologized to my husband.

But this stuff happens everywhere.

I have not seen a single incidence of anyone mistreating anyone because they are arab around here. Very very very rare.. This is because my city is so international and so full of tourists that it would take all day if you went in certain places to even find someone from here. Also some of the highest paying jobs ( well not now) like car sales and timeshare sales are filled with arabs. I could never imagine anyone mistreating anyone because they were arab. Often in some respects, the arabs in some fields out pace and mistreat the Americans working because they are very much the majority in certain fields.. ( AGAIN SALES). I think its due to their willingness to work hard.

I have been the victim of discrimination based on the fact I was married to an arab though. Its not an outright discrimination but you can kind of tell how people have a deep seated disdain for many middle easterners ... its not overt.. its covert and said behind your back..The arabs themselves don't always fully accept you... then you have to deal with your own peoples ideas and misconceptions of arabs

One thing that I did see in the past is that arabs themselves have alot of misconceptions about Americans in general due to the limited amount of Americans they interact with. Like if they work in car sales with some "family guy" or homer simpson guy, they think all Americans are ignorant or sloppy etc.

Again, your opinions are always based on personal experiences. If all I saw was where I lived, I would tell you that no one cares if you are arab or not and they experience little or no OVERT harassment.

Did I state otherwise?

[caybee 21]

That is crappy treatment to say the least. I will say that what you can start by doing is contacting certain companies like the phone company, electric co, etc to put his name with yours. I'm really sorry about all of this for you...you do need to talk to someone there who can truly help you. My husband and I first started out with our own accounts, me at one bank and he at BofA. Over time, we realized that it would just be better for us to combine into one checking account.

Don't get me wrong, this whole comingling thing is a big pain in the booty, but there is a point to it...and you all will be better for it.

really? you can add your SO's name to your electric & phone bills? do they need to have an SSN or do you just call to add them?

(sorry, i'm a newbie at the whole AOS thing.... )

Depends on the company, but I just called them. I think I had to give them my husband's SSN verbally when I called. We were able to get him a library card with just his passport and SSN, if I remember correctly (he came on K-1 and received his SSN maybe three weeks after applying for it). We weren't able to get a joint bank account until he had his green card. Fortunately, he didn't have an AOS interview, but we still have to remove conditions. That reminds me -- wouldn't hurt for him to put his siggy on a rent check from time to time.

[AlHayatZween 2]

I agree with you - he wants to do some computer related work(repair, networking) and I am thinking there must be some way he can do this without a BS - the guy that hooked up my cable modem was from Bangladesh and he said he did some kind of 2-year course here in the US. Queens College has some night/weekend tech certification courses and this might be an option - I haven't really looked that heavily into it to be honest since the $%^& visa process is our focus right now. I just want to GET HIM HERE......

Absolutely... just get him here!

i've been looking at some options for my own habeeb when he gets here in terms of schooling and stuff... the good thing about NYC is that there are a lot of trade and tech schools that i think we can use as an asset. also, a lot of them allow you to earn a technical degree or Associate's without having to have a GED... or the GED/Diploma programs are merged into one... keep your eyes open on the subway cuz that's where i see most of the ads.

but for now, let's just get them here!

That is crappy treatment to say the least. I will say that what you can start by doing is contacting certain companies like the phone company, electric co, etc to put his name with yours. I'm really sorry about all of this for you...you do need to talk to someone there who can truly help you. My husband and I first started out with our own accounts, me at one bank and he at BofA. Over time, we realized that it would just be better for us to combine into one checking account.

Don't get me wrong, this whole comingling thing is a big pain in the booty, but there is a point to it...and you all will be better for it.

really? you can add your SO's name to your electric & phone bills? do they need to have an SSN or do you just call to add them?

(sorry, i'm a newbie at the whole AOS thing.... )

Depends on the company, but I just called them. I think I had to give them my husband's SSN verbally when I called. We were able to get him a library card with just his passport and SSN, if I remember correctly (he came on K-1 and received his SSN maybe three weeks after applying for it). We weren't able to get a joint bank account until he had his green card. Fortunately, he didn't have an AOS interview, but we still have to remove conditions. That reminds me -- wouldn't hurt for him to put his siggy on a rent check from time to time.

good to know, thanks!

[doodlebugg 10]

Oh a library card is a great idea!!!! He's all out of books to read already!!!!

ahkmri come to Boston! lol. Yesterday we were driving home and saw two different peace protests and my husband stuck his head out the window, made the peace sign and kept shouting "PEACE PEACE" and they all waved at him. lol. We have a lot of hippies in our area though. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll coooooooooooool. lol.

I have seen some *looks* and there was the incident at the bank but once you get into Boston proper you'd never know you're in the US since hardly anyone talks english. Everytime we ride the T we have this game of trying to figure out what language everyone is talking. Last time we heard Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Russian.

[Staashi 371]

I have seen some *looks* and there was the incident at the bank but once you get into Boston proper you'd never know you're in the US since hardly anyone talks english. Everytime we ride the T we have this game of trying to figure out what language everyone is talking. Last time we heard Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Russian.

Bridget, we play that game all the time. Since we speak Spanish when we are out, we are constantly noticing whenever anyone is speaking another language. We speak 8 languages between us, and can identify about 6 other languages, so it is a fun game when we can identify what others are speaking.