Russian wisdom from Natasha

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

You may wish to at least learn those 30 phrases or you could end up in the dog house! Seriously, though, learn some Ukrainian for your own sanity. There is no way, I could live with a Russian woman without constantly learning more of her language each and every day.

This morning our alarm clock went off and when I told my wife we had to get up for our AOS interview she blurted out a couple sentences in Ukrainian. I said, "WHAT?!" She repeated it again in Ukrainian. So I said..."Honey, is that Ukrainian?" She said, "Yes." I said, "I don't speak Ukrainian...what does it mean?" She said, "I didn't water the plants yet." I said..."Hmmm....what?" She repeated "I didn't water the plants."

Anyway when she finally woke up she confessed she didn't know what in the world she was talking about. I'm always entertained when she speaks Ukrainian before finally realizing she's in the USA and switches gears.

By the way...most of the Ukrainian phrases I do know are things she yells at the dog! She's got about 30 phrases I hear fairly regularly.

[LvivLovers 39]

You may wish to at least learn those 30 phrases or you could end up in the dog house! Seriously, though, learn some Ukrainian for your own sanity. There is no way, I could live with a Russian woman without constantly learning more of her language each and every day.

This morning our alarm clock went off and when I told my wife we had to get up for our AOS interview she blurted out a couple sentences in Ukrainian. I said, "WHAT?!" She repeated it again in Ukrainian. So I said..."Honey, is that Ukrainian?" She said, "Yes." I said, "I don't speak Ukrainian...what does it mean?" She said, "I didn't water the plants yet." I said..."Hmmm....what?" She repeated "I didn't water the plants."

Anyway when she finally woke up she confessed she didn't know what in the world she was talking about. I'm always entertained when she speaks Ukrainian before finally realizing she's in the USA and switches gears.

By the way...most of the Ukrainian phrases I do know are things she yells at the dog! She's got about 30 phrases I hear fairly regularly.

I'm working on it for sure! Besides the dog phrases I've been learning a few basic Ukrainian words and phrases each day. I also picked up the Russian version of Rosetta Stone (they didn't have Ukrainian)...so I'm working through that too. Luckily, my wife speaks better English than most Americans so we can communicate easily while I'm learning. Her parents enrolled her in a school where they taught everything in English...they thought it would help her in the business world and never imagined at the time she'd be marrying an American. Worked out very nicely for us though!

My favorite sounding phrase so far (and I have no idea how you really spell it as I've only heard her say it about a billion times) is one she says to the dog that sounds like SKEEKY MOHZNAH. I love that.

[NavarreMan 10]

Couple of new experiences to report:

1. Could not understand why my shirts were all clingy. I asked Tanya if she was using the "Cling Free" dryer sheets and she said she was. I thought nothing of it until I saw her throw it in the washer with a load of clothes...

2. Zip-loc bags seem to be a marvel of modern technology that a Russian teenager cannot grasp the concept of. Dried out cheese and deli meats. Patience Bill...

3. She thinks I am possessed by the devil because I recommended using store-bought broth for cooking. "NYET PRAVDA!!!" I will find an opportunity to cook a stew or chicken w/noodles and drop the bomb that she just consumed hemlock juice!

4. Both Tanya and Victor seem to think that I am trying to keep them from driving. I can't seem to get the point across that they need to take a written exam and neither could manage it yet. If your state does not have a drivers manual in Russian then go to Washington State Russian Drivers Manual It may not perfectly reflect you states rules and regs but it goes a long way towards explaining all the rules.

5. Squirrels... Tanya was telling me that they are somewhat rare in Russia, at least in Taganrog. Aren't they just the cutest things! Well they trashed her bird feeder and she is discovering that they are tree-born rats and maybe not so cute after all. She cusses them out daily!

6. Has anyone seen my stack of bills to be paid? They were sitting on my desk before someone decided to clean my office!!! Ahhhhhhhhhrrrggggggg!!!

Did I mention that we get married Saturday?

[KGSodie 0]

Couple of new experiences to report:

1. Could not understand why my shirts were all clingy. I asked Tanya if she was using the "Cling Free" dryer sheets and she said she was. I thought nothing of it until I saw her throw it in the washer with a load of clothes...

2. Zip-loc bags seem to be a marvel of modern technology that a Russian teenager cannot grasp the concept of. Dried out cheese and deli meats. Patience Bill...

3. She thinks I am possessed by the devil because I recommended using store-bought broth for cooking. "NYET PRAVDA!!!" I will find an opportunity to cook a stew or chicken w/noodles and drop the bomb that she just consumed hemlock juice!

4. Both Tanya and Victor seem to think that I am trying to keep them from driving. I can't seem to get the point across that they need to take a written exam and neither could manage it yet. If your state does not have a drivers manual in Russian then go to Washington State Russian Drivers Manual It may not perfectly reflect you states rules and regs but it goes a long way towards explaining all the rules.

5. Squirrels... Tanya was telling me that they are somewhat rare in Russia, at least in Taganrog. Aren't they just the cutest things! Well they trashed her bird feeder and she is discovering that they are tree-born rats and maybe not so cute after all. She cusses them out daily!

6. Has anyone seen my stack of bills to be paid? They were sitting on my desk before someone decided to clean my office!!! Ahhhhhhhhhrrrggggggg!!!

Did I mention that we get married Saturday?

Bill, Bill, Bill. That wasn't a stack of important documents, it was a disgusting, unsightly MESS and DEMANDING cleaning! You'll learn, given time, I'm sure.

Natasha and Vika are still amazed at all the squirrels and rabbits in our yard, and in the neighborhood in general (particularly in our yard because our yard is in, shall we say, a much more 'natural' state than most yards). She says you don't see that many rabbits in Vogodonsk, and the ones that are seen are delicious.

Natasha (and Vika) absolutely love ziploc everything. We put everything in the bags. There are two things I always seems to be running short of - ziploc bags and toilet paper. It's the darndest thing.

Good luck tomorrow (Bill & Tanya's wedding), and post a link to some photos for us!

[Ilya R. 0]

Couple of new experiences to report:

1. Could not understand why my shirts were all clingy. I asked Tanya if she was using the "Cling Free" dryer sheets and she said she was. I thought nothing of it until I saw her throw it in the washer with a load of clothes...

2. Zip-loc bags seem to be a marvel of modern technology that a Russian teenager cannot grasp the concept of. Dried out cheese and deli meats. Patience Bill...

3. She thinks I am possessed by the devil because I recommended using store-bought broth for cooking. "NYET PRAVDA!!!" I will find an opportunity to cook a stew or chicken w/noodles and drop the bomb that she just consumed hemlock juice!

4. Both Tanya and Victor seem to think that I am trying to keep them from driving. I can't seem to get the point across that they need to take a written exam and neither could manage it yet. If your state does not have a drivers manual in Russian then go to Washington State Russian Drivers Manual It may not perfectly reflect you states rules and regs but it goes a long way towards explaining all the rules.

5. Squirrels... Tanya was telling me that they are somewhat rare in Russia, at least in Taganrog. Aren't they just the cutest things! Well they trashed her bird feeder and she is discovering that they are tree-born rats and maybe not so cute after all. She cusses them out daily!

6. Has anyone seen my stack of bills to be paid? They were sitting on my desk before someone decided to clean my office!!! Ahhhhhhhhhrrrggggggg!!!

Did I mention that we get married Saturday?

Bill, Bill, Bill. That wasn't a stack of important documents, it was a disgusting, unsightly MESS and DEMANDING cleaning! You'll learn, given time, I'm sure.

Natasha and Vika are still amazed at all the squirrels and rabbits in our yard, and in the neighborhood in general (particularly in our yard because our yard is in, shall we say, a much more 'natural' state than most yards). She says you don't see that many rabbits in Vogodonsk, and the ones that are seen are delicious.

Natasha (and Vika) absolutely love ziploc everything. We put everything in the bags. There are two things I always seems to be running short of - ziploc bags and toilet paper. It's the darndest thing.

Good luck tomorrow (Bill & Tanya's wedding), and post a link to some photos for us!

Russian women seem to eat toilet paper, seriously

[slim 1,533]

Bill, Bill, Bill. That wasn't a stack of important documents, it was a disgusting, unsightly MESS and DEMANDING cleaning! You'll learn, given time, I'm sure.

things I always seems to be running short of - ziploc bags and toilet paper. It's the darndest thing.

Online billpay is the best thing since sliced bread for keeping your documents from being thrown away. My "organized" stack of papers quickly found a home (an old cardboard box that sits on the desk and serves as my "in/out box") after my wife's arrival and first cleaning. I've since shown her the four or five bills we get in the mail each month and she's pretty good about letting me keep them. (By pretty good I mean she just throws all the mail in a pile on my desk.)

The toilet paper..... get yourself a Costco or Sams membership. They have bulk TP and ZipLoc bags. (And cheap fruits and veggies. If you didn't know, you'll also be spending a good portion of your grocery bill on fresh fruits/veggies now.)

One thing that is important to do (but might not work) is to sit down with your wife and explain how paying bills and monthly budgeting works. For some, it's a foreign concept and "check-to-check" is definitely not a Russian cultural phenomenon. Relate the paychecks to checking account to bills paid out and you may just have to break out one of those theorems you learned back in high school.

[NavarreMan 10]

OK - it's been almost a year now since we tied the knot. Vast improvements in becoming "westerninzed". Still working on the drivers test. Hopefully this will happen next week.

One funny story for today. Cat strutted through the living room and I made a comment about "jungle boag" (bad translation of lord of the jungle). Anyway Tanya looks at me and says "what jungle boag? jungle benz!" I said "what are you on about"? Tanya repeated "jungle benz, you know - jungle benz, jungle benz, jungle all the way"

The paramedics had to give me oxygen...

[Brad and Vika 129]

(And cheap fruits and veggies. If you didn't know, you'll also be spending a good portion of your grocery bill on fresh fruits/veggies now.)

One thing that is important to do (but might not work) is to sit down with your wife and explain how paying bills and monthly budgeting works. For some, it's a foreign concept and "check-to-check" is definitely not a Russian cultural phenomenon. Relate the paychecks to checking account to bills paid out and you may just have to break out one of those theorems you learned back in high school.

I am so there!

OK - it's been almost a year now since we tied the knot. Vast improvements in becoming "westerninzed". Still working on the drivers test. Hopefully this will happen next week.

One funny story for today. Cat strutted through the living room and I made a comment about "jungle boag" (bad translation of lord of the jungle). Anyway Tanya looks at me and says "what jungle boag? jungle benz!" I said "what are you on about"? Tanya repeated "jungle benz, you know - jungle benz, jungle benz, jungle all the way"

The paramedics had to give me oxygen...

[slim 1,533]

One funny story for today. Cat strutted through the living room and I made a comment about "jungle boag" (bad translation of lord of the jungle). Anyway Tanya looks at me and says "what jungle boag? jungle benz!" I said "what are you on about"? Tanya repeated "jungle benz, you know - jungle benz, jungle benz, jungle all the way"

Around Christmas time, see if she'll watch "A Christmas Story" (the one with Ralphy and the Red Rider, "You'll shoot your eye out.") together with you. The part in there where the family goes to the Chinese restaurant for dinner is classic.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Couple of new experiences to report:

1. Could not understand why my shirts were all clingy. I asked Tanya if she was using the "Cling Free" dryer sheets and she said she was. I thought nothing of it until I saw her throw it in the washer with a load of clothes...

2. Zip-loc bags seem to be a marvel of modern technology that a Russian teenager cannot grasp the concept of. Dried out cheese and deli meats. Patience Bill...

3. She thinks I am possessed by the devil because I recommended using store-bought broth for cooking. "NYET PRAVDA!!!" I will find an opportunity to cook a stew or chicken w/noodles and drop the bomb that she just consumed hemlock juice!

4. Both Tanya and Victor seem to think that I am trying to keep them from driving. I can't seem to get the point across that they need to take a written exam and neither could manage it yet. If your state does not have a drivers manual in Russian then go to Washington State Russian Drivers Manual It may not perfectly reflect you states rules and regs but it goes a long way towards explaining all the rules.

5. Squirrels... Tanya was telling me that they are somewhat rare in Russia, at least in Taganrog. Aren't they just the cutest things! Well they trashed her bird feeder and she is discovering that they are tree-born rats and maybe not so cute after all. She cusses them out daily!

6. Has anyone seen my stack of bills to be paid? They were sitting on my desk before someone decided to clean my office!!! Ahhhhhhhhhrrrggggggg!!!

Did I mention that we get married Saturday?

I dug back a few posts for this one. Vika also thinks squirrels are the cutest thing ever, and that processed foods give you triple polio and cancer. We have had several discussions about color sheets and dryer sheets (white box for wash machine, orange box for dry machine, right?). No matter how much tupperware I show her, the leftovers still go into the frig in the pot, or on a plate. And the driving test - you honestly need a SSN, AND a blue letter (in KY), AND a written test, AND a driving test. No exceptions - and no bribes

[baron555 934]

florida has horrible pizza! i don't understand why, especially where my parents live where half of the population is actually from new york.

Awesome pizza can be had at Bison Creek Pizza in West Seattle or at SeaTac Airport. Unfortunaely for me this is 2500 miles away and they do not deliver. Best pizza I have ever had. Locally it is good only if you delight at grease dripping, soggy pieces. I usually have Canadian bacon & pineapple. Personal preference. Less grease and I think it tastes great.

And you think the pizza in New York is good? And Seattle? Sheesh.

Come to Chicago for the best pizza, thin or thick crust.

[slim 1,533]

Come to Chicago for the best pizza, thin or thick crust.

Palermo's on 63rd (off Pulaski) is quite possibly the best pizza in the whole world.

[baron555 934]

Come to Chicago for the best pizza, thin or thick crust.

Palermo's on 63rd (off Pulaski) is quite possibly the best pizza in the whole world.

I've been there. We ordered a delivery pizza while in Kiev and it was quite good. No rabbits though!!!

Few rabbits and squirrels in my yard; the dog takes care of that.

Alla is totally fascinated with and is dying to see the wild deer that run across the road. She is also terrified of the wild "wolves" (coyotes) that also run around. She doesn't know how people can walk in the woods or go camping when there are wolves about. I tell her that children in America are trained to fight the coytoes with their bare hands so it is not a concern!!!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Come to Chicago for the best pizza, thin or thick crust.

Palermo's on 63rd (off Pulaski) is quite possibly the best pizza in the whole world.

I've been there. We ordered a delivery pizza while in Kiev and it was quite good. No rabbits though!!!

Few rabbits and squirrels in my yard; the dog takes care of that.

Alla is totally fascinated with and is dying to see the wild deer that run across the road. She is also terrified of the wild "wolves" (coyotes) that also run around. She doesn't know how people can walk in the woods or go camping when there are wolves about. I tell her that children in America are trained to fight the coytoes with their bare hands so it is not a concern!!!

I never went pizza tasting in Chicago, and now I probably can't (unless the pizzas come with fish on them and a side of soup). Wick's here in Louisville is not to be missed, if ever you are in town.

[AKguy 1]

It's very entertaining to read about your guy's experiences and lives with your Russian spouses!

While I'm not yet in the same boat (working on getting the K-1 out), I still have many of the same or new stories.

God forbid I yawn while I'm talking to Anna. "Bored? I'm boring? You want don't want to talk to me?" I now have to hide if I need to yawn.

If I sneeze. "What's wrong with your health? You have bad health! You need more sleep!"

Got her hooked on the "hard stuff" when I left Russia. She turned to the Coke because it reminded her of me... now she drinks 3 a day. She thought it had too burned too bad when she 1st tried it.

Freaked out when I put ice cubes in my BOILING HOT tea so I could drink it. Poured it out and refilled it with BOILING HOT tea while I was in the bathroom... proceeded to cook my lips when I got back. "You don't put ice in tea!" I just burnt the ####### out of my mouth! "don't put ice in tea" ...

Ice in anything will give you a cold.

American website advice is "sh*t", "I trust Russian-fiance.com". I have to work overtime to convince her that what most people say here is legit. "Sure my love, 15.. no, at least 30 people said the same exact thing! really!"

Don't whistle indoors. She'd told me that one time when I was in Russia. Then her and her mom caught me whistling in her parents house, I thought her mom was going to sh*t bricks. "What I say! Don't do it!"

She does this, I'll call it spittling, if she thinks something she said jinxed her. Like if she says "My driving is perfect", then she'll catch herself and kind of spit "You have to get those words out of your mouth, so you spit them out".

I look forward to many many more of these situations!

Edited May 27, 2009 by AKguy