My wife left me!

[slim 1,533]

So I just spent the last 21 minutes watching a video (Thanks, mox!) in hopes that I would see some non-arrogant Russians and someone displaying something other than indifference.

Although I did see some folks displaying what appeared to be compassion for these "street children" they were all gainfully employed by an organization, ngo, or the like and therefore, even though they appeared to care for these kids, it was their job to appear to do so. Sure, they probably cared more than the rest of the people walking by these smoking svolochi, but in truth, they were only doing their job. Most of the bystanders and passers by appeared genuinely disinterested in the kids.

And if you really want to see arrogance on display, the children themselves displayed it quite nicely.

What sealed the deal for me though was around the middle of the 16th minute when Alexei Bukharov, director of IPEC, said "the biggest frustration is the indifference of state officials."

Nice try mox.

And Blues Fairy, I'm not trying to shame you or anything like that. I'm sure you're compassionate and caring etc. But, can you say with honesty that you're better looking than most of the women you've met thus far in the U.S.? And doesn't that make you somewhat arrogant? If it's true.... it's not arrogance, it's simply the truth. But, the lack of humility directly after it and in dealing with others is what keeps the arrogance.

jsouthwick, welcome back. Stick around. The VJ Russia Forum is a pretty fun place to hang out. And for the record, M-60 hands-down! We can get a little more into that later, but that's my vote. I love that gun. If I'm going to use a machine gun, I want to use a machine gun, not a belt fed M-16. I like my bullets to go through stuff, not bounce off. I'll respect the SAW, but if there's a choice....

AKDiver, welcome back. Glad to see you as always.

And finally, to everyone else "visiting" the Russia Forum, welcome aboard. Please tell us all about what it's like in your forum over here in ours because we were having trouble finding yours. Thanks for making it easier for us to see your awesome posts.

[kud 0]

(4) Call me traditional but I cannot understand how someone can form "deep" attachments to a "virtual" community of people. For those that have, I feel sorry for you.

I was going to stay put of this fray, but with the above statement you lost my support too. We all are going through some shared tough experiences. And at times there is a little doubt (i.e. am I loved or just a green Card). Coming here helps with both the legal and some of emotional problems. And if you can't see the emotional problems people go through then I hope you are going to be a business lawyer and not involved with the general public.

[Blues Fairy 0]

And Blues Fairy, I'm not trying to shame you or anything like that. I'm sure you're compassionate and caring etc. But, can you say with honesty that you're better looking than most of the women you've met thus far in the U.S.? And doesn't that make you somewhat arrogant? If it's true.... it's not arrogance, it's simply the truth. But, the lack of humility directly after it and in dealing with others is what keeps the arrogance.

I honestly don't understand what you're trying to say. Good looks = arrogance, by definition?

Please clarify your point.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

There is a difference between arrogance and pride. The later is how I would describe almost every Russian I have ever met. My Alla is proud of her beauty, appearance, form, and talents, but she does not throw it in anyones face.

[eekee 182]

There is a difference between arrogance and pride. The later is how I would describe almost every Russian I have ever met. My Alla is proud of her beauty, appearance, form, and talents, but she does not throw it in anyones face.

I agree with this. I also think that Russians are more willing to take small inconveniences in stride. I think many Americans would totally fall apart and b**** about it for ages if, for instance, they didn't have hot water for a month. Living in Russia for a year really gave me the ability to relax and be less stressed about certain things, because they were, in the long run, just not that big a deal.

How many times have those of us with russian ladies and guys heard the response "It's Russia."? I bet a thousand.

[Mags 112]

And finally, to everyone else "visiting" the Russia Forum, welcome aboard. Please tell us all about what it's like in your forum over here in ours because we were having trouble finding yours. Thanks for making it easier for us to see your awesome posts.

Thanks for the warm welcome, Slim, it's great to be here! I don't "have" a particular forum because I don't actually see "mine" or "yours" when talking about particular forums or sub-forums. I like to think that they "belong" to everyone, not just a select few who are associated with a particular country. Plus I'm an Evil Moderator With a Cute Accent (patent pending!), so it's kind of my "job" to visit all the forums here on VJ when I can.

But anyway, I've got plenty of single grey socks to give out so I reckon I'll be sticking around!

Ta-ra, luv!

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I know exactly what you are taking about. Literally three times a week I'd go to take a shower and find the water turned off due to some repair on the system elsewhere in the building. Alla would always laugh, say her little, "Это по руÑÑкий." and never understand why I kept expected it to change any time in our life.

Here is a mini list of what I encountered in my year in Kazan'. Hot water off for the summer? No problem. Bus 45 minutes late? No problem. Bus stops working, we all must exit and wait for a new one to arrive? No problem. Electricity or internet shut off while you are right in the middle of downloading a file to your computer? No problem.

Oh, yes. I loved the relaxed, "####### happens" attitude over there. And you adjust quickly. I found my year very liberating.

There is a difference between arrogance and pride. The later is how I would describe almost every Russian I have ever met. My Alla is proud of her beauty, appearance, form, and talents, but she does not throw it in anyones face.

I agree with this. I also think that Russians are more willing to take small inconveniences in stride. I think many Americans would totally fall apart and b**** about it for ages if, for instance, they didn't have hot water for a month. Living in Russia for a year really gave me the ability to relax and be less stressed about certain things, because they were, in the long run, just not that big a deal.

How many times have those of us with russian ladies and guys heard the response "It's Russia."? I bet a thousand.

Who would ever call you such a thing?

... Plus I'm an Evil Moderator With a Cute Accent (patent pending!)...

...Ta-ra, luv!

Edited February 26, 2008 by Kazan' Tiger

[visaveteran1 33]

I think it's hard and even unfair to generalize about Russians because most of us know Russians only from one area of a very big and diverse country or former Soviet countries, and only as men in romantic relationships with a Russian woman. That puts us in a pretty small awareness box. And, however our ladies feel about Russia is going to influence our own viewpoint and obscure our objectivity.

I have known Russians from Moscow, St. Petersburg, Ryazan, and Krasnoyarsk as well as Russians living in Kyrgzistan and Latvia, and I still don't think I really get Russians, their ways, or their culture. And I doubt I ever will. That's OK because my focus is on one woman, and getting her to the USA asap. I can't worry about understanding THE Russia, but only HER Russia...not necessarily the same thing. And i need only understand HER Russia well enough to make for a good marriage and life together. I also see that I need to respect her Russia more than really understand it in order to love her and build a good marriage.

For whatever their reasons, I do hear women complaining about Russia. It may range from the benign "It is Russia" to the more negative energy of "I hate Russia!" But, to counter-balance things, I also hear them speak admiringly of the many positive aspect of Russian women and femininity...and I can attest and confirm those comments to be true!

As to the issue of arrogance versus pride...well that's a really subjective distinction and depends on your connection to a given person. Your girlfriend or wife may have "pride' while her neighbor may be "arrogant." If i were to venture a guess, i think the people might reflect the country they grew up in...and i remember the Soviet Union as arrogant to the extreme. Should i be surprised some of that rubbed off on the general population? But, on a case by case basis, I'd probably find a lot of variance in people's "arrogance level" especially at different ages and socio-economic and educational levels. And maybe between men and women. Whatever a VJ poster may share about his or her experience with Russian "arrogance" or "pride," it's based on a very small sample of the population. So...maybe all that deserves is a "big deal!"

I have been to Russia and former Soviet states many times and I am both charmed and appalled by what i have seen and experienced...yes, a paradox. I could say the same thing about traveling around the USA. We all have Russian wives or girlfriends and it's cool it talk as if we have the inside view of Russia and it's people. But, for me, the truth is the more i hang out in Russia, the less i have clarity about things..but it is still a love-hate relationship with a land that used to be my enemy...just as it was when i first visited Russia in 2004.

I will add that I have never hung out with what my wife calls "New Russia" folks...the people with lots of money and affluence. Now that would be interesting to actually go inside an apartment that's nicer (by a mile!!) than mine! That would really change my view of Russians...and I'd be the one on the lower rung of the ladder.

My point...no Americans on this forum are in a position to act like a "Russian expert" even though it's fun to pretend. Yes?

[FaSa2008 0]

to be honest fellow VJ 's why dont just leave it how it was!!

this is the second time i read russian forums and its full of drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and its the same people involved!!!!!!!!! jeez !

there are far many better things to be doing that replying more and more things!

it was entertaining but wasted my time a lil

[eekee 182]

i lived in russia not as someone dating a russian, but as someone who was living in russia for other reasons who happened to fall in a love with a russian man while i was there. and I am also someone who would be returning to russia whether or not i had a russian guy waiting for me. i have friends from all over russia, and I was also raised in a belarusian-american household. so i would say that my experiences comes from "the inside"--well, as much "inside" as an american living in russia can have.

i actually admire all of you guys who embark on a life with a russian wife with no real prior exposure to russian culture and language. it's a lot take on and learn about.

I think it's hard and even unfair to generalize about Russians because most of us know Russians only from one area of a very big and diverse country or former Soviet countries, and only as men in romantic relationships with a Russian woman. That puts us in a pretty small awareness box. And, however our ladies feel about Russia is going to influence our own viewpoint and obscure our objectivity.

I have known Russians from Moscow, St. Petersburg, Ryazan, and Krasnoyarsk as well as Russians living in Kyrgzistan and Latvia, and I still don't think I really get Russians, their ways, or their culture. And I doubt I ever will. That's OK because my focus is on one woman, and getting her to the USA asap. I can't worry about understanding THE Russia, but only HER Russia...not necessarily the same thing. And i need only understand HER Russia well enough to make for a good marriage and life together. I also see that I need to respect her Russia more than really understand it in order to love her and build a good marriage.

For whatever their reasons, I do hear women complaining about Russia. It may range from the benign "It is Russia" to the more negative energy of "I hate Russia!" But, to counter-balance things, I also hear them speak admiringly of the many positive aspect of Russian women and femininity...and I can attest and confirm those comments to be true!

As to the issue of arrogance versus pride...well that's a really subjective distinction and depends on your connection to a given person. Your girlfriend or wife may have "pride' while her neighbor may be "arrogant." If i were to venture a guess, i think the people might reflect the country they grew up in...and i remember the Soviet Union as arrogant to the extreme. Should i be surprised some of that rubbed off on the general population? But, on a case by case basis, I'd probably find a lot of variance in people's "arrogance level" especially at different ages and socio-economic and educational levels. And maybe between men and women. Whatever a VJ poster may share about his or her experience with Russian "arrogance" or "pride," it's based on a very small sample of the population. So...maybe all that deserves is a "big deal!"

I have been to Russia and former Soviet states many times and I am both charmed and appalled by what i have seen and experienced...yes, a paradox. I could say the same thing about traveling around the USA. We all have Russian wives or girlfriends and it's cool it talk as if we have the inside view of Russia and it's people. But, for me, the truth is the more i hang out in Russia, the less i have clarity about things..but it is still a love-hate relationship with a land that used to be my enemy...just as it was when i first visited Russia in 2004.

I will add that I have never hung out with what my wife calls "New Russia" folks...the people with lots of money and affluence. Now that would be interesting to actually go inside an apartment that's nicer (by a mile!!) than mine! That would really change my view of Russians...and I'd be the one on the lower rung of the ladder.

My point...no Americans on this forum are in a position to act like a "Russian expert" even though it's fun to pretend. Yes?

[visaveteran1 33]

to be honest fellow VJ 's why dont just leave it how it was!!

this is the second time i read russian forums and its full of drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and its the same people involved!!!!!!!!! jeez !

there are far many better things to be doing that replying more and more things!

it was entertaining but wasted my time a lil

Who held a gun to your head and forced you read this "drama." The first page told the story..."jeez" right back at you.

[franklie 0]

Unfortunately she left me...

I do not know what to say... I will not write here again...

That is so sad,I'm sorry to hear that.

Hope it works out well for everybody.

You never know if you will be taken for a ride by an unfeeling, inconsiderate, poor excuse of humanity. That I guess is a part of the great unknown for all of us on VisaJourney.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Strongly suggest you read the entire thread before posting!

Unfortunately she left me...

I do not know what to say... I will not write here again...

That is so sad,I'm sorry to hear that.

Hope it works out well for everybody.

You never know if you will be taken for a ride by an unfeeling, inconsiderate, poor excuse of humanity. That I guess is a part of the great unknown for all of us on VisaJourney.

Edited February 26, 2008 by Kazan' Tiger

[Chuckles 0]

Ummmm..... yah.

[Mia Sav 1]

I hope that you enjoyed the heck out of your "joke", because it cost all of your credibility with me. I have no respect for anyone who would do something like this.

This one was beyond me, my wife wants me to stay away from here so she runs into the kitchen and says look what I posted under your account. And then we both started laughing at it. Anyway, regardless of what anyone believes, I think anyone on here is allowed to joke and laugh about themselves. Lastly, what exactly are you going to "discredit" the law and its application whenever I say it Or perhaps my personal experience? I've been on here for over 3 years I think I'll be fine.

Congratulations to you or your wife for making monkeys out of all those that posted kind and concerned replies to the bogus post.

Not funny at all... :blink: