Remembering everyone

[ose_n_me 0]

I would like to say that, although I am extremely thankful for all that I have in my life, and I thank God every day for his glory, I still cannot forget that my family in Nigeria is not so fortunate to have the kind of Xmas we are accustomed to here. It was very sobering to go out buying gifts, when I know that my husband and his family are not able to exchange gifts in the same way. I felt extremely guilty and even more depressed than I already feel.

So please lets all remember and say a prayer for all our families overseas..and all the people of the world who won't have presents to open, a feast to eat, a roof over their heads or clothing to keep them warm!

God bless all God's children...and may the glory of God lay a soothing hand upon your shoulders. You are not alone in this world. We love you and are praying for you.

AMEN

[Divine Mercy 0]

I would like to say that, although I am extremely thankful for all that I have in my life, and I thank God every day for his glory, I still cannot forget that my family in Nigeria is not so fortunate to have the kind of Xmas we are accustomed to here. It was very sobering to go out buying gifts, when I know that my husband and his family are not able to exchange gifts in the same way. I felt extremely guilty and even more depressed than I already feel.

So please lets all remember and say a prayer for all our families overseas..and all the people of the world who won't have presents to open, a feast to eat, a roof over their heads or clothing to keep them warm!

God bless all God's children...and may the glory of God lay a soothing hand upon your shoulders. You are not alone in this world. We love you and are praying for you.

AMEN

Amen!

[HBO 0]

AMEN!!

[stevi1123 0]

Yes....Amen

[Queen Jenn 0]

Amen from me, too.

[Bashorun 1]

I would like to say that, although I am extremely thankful for all that I have in my life, and I thank God every day for his glory, I still cannot forget that my family in Nigeria is not so fortunate to have the kind of Xmas we are accustomed to here. It was very sobering to go out buying gifts, when I know that my husband and his family are not able to exchange gifts in the same way. I felt extremely guilty and even more depressed than I already feel.

So please lets all remember and say a prayer for all our families overseas..and all the people of the world who won't have presents to open, a feast to eat, a roof over their heads or clothing to keep them warm!

God bless all God's children...and may the glory of God lay a soothing hand upon your shoulders. You are not alone in this world. We love you and are praying for you.

AMEN

It is very nice to hear U mentioned something like this but at the same time remember africans have their own special ways of celebriting christmas even if they don't go out of their ways to get a christmas gift, they have their own culture of christmas which is rich and family oriented. Not buying a gift doesn't mean they are having a christmas lacking of spice like u think u have here, that would be a mistake if that is what U think probably after ur spouse told U they won't be buying gifts for christmas. But remember they will be sitting together and enjoying their favorite african food, dancing and showing real joy for christmas. In either ways they definately will be having a fun joyful time like U are experiencing here in america. I have been living in america for some years now and still think the best christmas is in africa. Ask any african U know and they will confirm this. Why? becos that is how they know christmas is been celebrated.

I'm not trying to bring this into an argument but know a culture very well before u comment about it. it doesn't just go upon this topic alone but several other topics have read here. and each time i read something new, am like african spouse really has so much job to do in teaching what the culture is like.

I repeat again, not exchanging gifts during christmas in african doesn't mean africans are having a bad or poor christmas, Infact they exchange food instead of gifts, they are just doing it there own way and trust me, the joy that fills their heart during christmas can never be compared to any other.

[ose_n_me 0]

It is very nice to hear U mentioned something like this but at the same time remember africans have their own special ways of celebriting christmas even if they don't go out of their ways to get a christmas gift, they have their own culture of christmas which is rich and family oriented. Not buying a gift doesn't mean they are having a christmas lacking of spice like u think u have here, that would be a mistake if that is what U think probably after ur spouse told U they won't be buying gifts for christmas. But remember they will be sitting together and enjoying their favorite african food, dancing and showing real joy for christmas. In either ways they definately will be having a fun joyful time like U are experiencing here in america. I have been living in america for some years now and still think the best christmas is in africa. Ask any african U know and they will confirm this. Why? becos that is how they know christmas is been celebrated.

I'm not trying to bring this into an argument but know a culture very well before u comment about it. it doesn't just go upon this topic alone but several other topics have read here. and each time i read something new, am like african spouse really has so much job to do in teaching what the culture is like.

I repeat again, not exchanging gifts during christmas in african doesn't mean africans are having a bad or poor christmas, Infact they exchange food instead of gifts, they are just doing it there own way and trust me, the joy that fills their heart during christmas can never be compared to any other.

Thank you for your response. To clarify my posting...I did not mean to insinuate that my idea of Xmas is exchanging gifts. Matter of fact, I think the commercialization of Xmas has become a very distressing thing. There are many people who believe that is what Xmas is...getting presents! But I am not one of them! I was merely stating that I had a difficult time shopping/spending money....knowing my family in Nigeria was not. Not saying that they were not having a joyous Xmas in their own cultural way. I was expressing my difficulties in coping with the cultural differences, many of which are not by choice. (gift giving/receiving)

And as for knowing his culture....I will never know it completely. It's because it is "his" culture. Just as he will never know mine completley. But because I lived there for almost 4 months, and was actually there for the holiday season last year..I am a little familiar with the way "my family" celebrates. And you are right...it is extremely family oriented, very festive, and lots of food, drink and music and prayer.

I look forward to the continual learning of his culture....just as he is mine. All I was really trying to say here is...Let's not forget the REASON FOR THE SEASON! Its universal to all us christians, no matter how our culture celebrates it.

[Bashorun 1]

Thanks for explaining better to me your earlier comments. I replied in the first place bcos all some people think about africa is poverty and at first when i read ur mail i thought that was where it was heading to. I wasn't to be blamed tough cos anyone that reads that comment will quickly thing U are saying ur family in nigeria are poor thats why they can't get gift for relatives and all that for christmas. anyways, once again thanks for clarifying what you were actually trying to drive in with your comment.

Merry christmas

[Enlighten one :) 5]

When I first read the post I thought the same thing as Bashurom. My husband's family and culture is so rich in tradition. I am looking forward to him sharing/incorporating that with our family. I think the traditions of family and church at Christmas are most important. Living inspirit with the reason why we celebrate Christmas.

Next year any gifts that are swapped at home have to be hand made, recycled, or made in the state of Maine.

My nieces spent the weekend in preparation for our family get together on Sunday before Christmas. My niece of 5 years said "I do not need Christmas gifts from you, because being here with you is like a gift." I was so moved.

[ebonyqueen 0]

Why does everyone always read bad or negative stuff into peoples posts. Why cant they find the good in anything. People wanting to express their joys and pains and others always trying to find fault with every word. Makes one not even want to say anything on here for fear of someone taking it the wrong way. Isnt it obvious everyone on this site loves, respects and cares deeply for their SO, their family and their culture....or they wouldnt be going thru all this BS to get them here!

Lighten up people....Maybe if u so bent on commenting on all the negative when its supposed to be a positive post, u should send a private message instead of making an issue out of nothing.

Just a thought.

[stevi1123 0]

Why does everyone always read bad or negative stuff into peoples posts. Why cant they find the good in anything. People wanting to express their joys and pains and others always trying to find fault with every word. Makes one not even want to say anything on here for fear of someone taking it the wrong way. Isnt it obvious everyone on this site loves, respects and cares deeply for their SO, their family and their culture....or they wouldnt be going thru all this BS to get them here!

Lighten up people....Maybe if u so bent on commenting on all the negative when its supposed to be a positive post, u should send a private message instead of making an issue out of nothing.

Just a thought.

I will admit that the forum seems to have taken a nose dive recently as far as momentum is concerned. I just do reading mostly, for fear of saying something wrong However, I am still very grateful for all of the knowledge and wisdom gained from the educated and experienced people here.

But I must agree that I am somewhat hesitant to really get into an indepth "conversation" here. I am fairly new here as a poster, but had a previous membership previous to this one when I was here much longer.

Ironically, the "negative" posts seemed to start at the onset of the holiday season. Maybe it can be attributed to the stress, loneliness and missing of our significant others. This time of the year can bring about mixed emotions and feelings.

I pray that the tide starts to turn soon, because there are nights when I am totally "addicted" to this forum and derive so much happiness, information and good feelings from it.

Now, I hope I haven't "enflamed" anyone. If so, bring it on......

[ebonyqueen 0]

I started coming here for the same reasons..to get info and read personal experiences. Now all alot of people on here want to do is dissect every post word for word and draw the most negative interpretations. Its sick. I finally joined so I could post, bcuz I wanted to say something about all the negativity lurking on this site. You dont gotta hide the ugliness..bcuz we need to kno it too...but post "responsibly" and "respectfully". Otherwise people not gonna wanna stay here and share. Thats all Im sayin.

( I also find myself on here when I need to try to get my sadness in check!..But now this dang place is makin it worse!)

[Zee Bee 61]

I started coming here for the same reasons..to get info and read personal experiences. Now all alot of people on here want to do is dissect every post word for word and draw the most negative interpretations. Its sick. I finally joined so I could post, bcuz I wanted to say something about all the negativity lurking on this site. You dont gotta hide the ugliness..bcuz we need to kno it too...but post "responsibly" and "respectfully". Otherwise people not gonna wanna stay here and share. Thats all Im sayin.

( I also find myself on here when I need to try to get my sadness in check!..But now this dang place is makin it worse!)

Don't make this place make you feel worse. I post what I think but I am always consicous not to offend anyone and I hope I don't contribute to some of the negative comments here.

My motto is: if I don't like it then I move on

[Bashorun 1]

When I first read the post I thought the same thing as Bashurom. My husband's family and culture is so rich in tradition. I am looking forward to him sharing/incorporating that with our family. I think the traditions of family and church at Christmas are most important. Living inspirit with the reason why we celebrate Christmas.

Next year any gifts that are swapped at home have to be hand made, recycled, or made in the state of Maine.

My nieces spent the weekend in preparation for our family get together on Sunday before Christmas. My niece of 5 years said "I do not need Christmas gifts from you, because being here with you is like a gift." I was so moved.

Well sorry sister but someone has to correct the wrong impression americans has about africa, and who is going to do that??? An african native just like me. U won't believe how ignorant people are about africa but at the same time i don't blame them alone but the media thats make it even worse. I fight it everyday at work becos some ignorant people think becos am from africa, i shouldn't have gotten educated, i shouldn't be able to talk the way i talk, i shouldn't be able to make a wise comment about an issue. And when they try to bring me down, they say he's from africa like that has to demerit any wise or constructive idea I have brought to the table. I have to start first by saying, excuse me, am from nigeria, a country like the United States and nigeria is a country from the continent of africa. Go back to geography class.

Hey if U can't stand a correction then u better not post. When we are ready to post in a forum like VJ then we should be ready for someone to be against what we think, if we don't want that then something is wrong in that picture. It would only go out of line if I desrespect the poster which i will never do with my comments but rather inform and educate the posted of what i seem to know better so we can all learn from each other at the end of it all. That is the reason for VJ isn't it?? The person that posted whatever she posted has addressed her issue properly where the hell did U come from? I think U don't have an idea of where to contribute ur vent but rather my just friendly way of addressing an issue that i may think is wrong about africa. So when next U want to pick a fight for urself, pls pick the right one, this one u picked is definately the wrong one.

Happy New Year in advance!

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Hello Bashorun,

You have quoted me, but I agreed with your impression of the posting. I do not feel that the OP meant harm in her posting and it was filled with love and compassion formed from her United States perspective.

My impression is that Nigerian people are pride filled people. They work hard, worship hard, and value family.

Maybe you quoted me because I was the last post, but it looks like your are talking to me.

When I first read the post I thought the same thing as Bashurom. My husband's family and culture is so rich in tradition. I am looking forward to him sharing/incorporating that with our family. I think the traditions of family and church at Christmas are most important. Living inspirit with the reason why we celebrate Christmas.

Next year any gifts that are swapped at home have to be hand made, recycled, or made in the state of Maine.

My nieces spent the weekend in preparation for our family get together on Sunday before Christmas. My niece of 5 years said "I do not need Christmas gifts from you, because being here with you is like a gift." I was so moved.

Well sorry sister but someone has to correct the wrong impression americans has about africa, and who is going to do that??? An african native just like me. U won't believe how ignorant people are about africa but at the same time i don't blame them alone but the media thats make it even worse. I fight it everyday at work becos some ignorant people think becos am from africa, i shouldn't have gotten educated, i shouldn't be able to talk the way i talk, i shouldn't be able to make a wise comment about an issue. And when they try to bring me down, they say he's from africa like that has to demerit any wise or constructive idea I have brought to the table. I have to start first by saying, excuse me, am from nigeria, a country like the United States and nigeria is a country from the continent of africa. Go back to geography class.

Hey if U can't stand a correction then u better not post. When we are ready to post in a forum like VJ then we should be ready for someone to be against what we think, if we don't want that then something is wrong in that picture. It would only go out of line if I desrespect the poster which i will never do with my comments but rather inform and educate the posted of what i seem to know better so we can all learn from each other at the end of it all. That is the reason for VJ isn't it?? The person that posted whatever she posted has addressed her issue properly where the hell did U come from? I think U don't have an idea of where to contribute ur vent but rather my just friendly way of addressing an issue that i may think is wrong about africa. So when next U want to pick a fight for urself, pls pick the right one, this one u picked is definately the wrong one.

Happy New Year in advance!