Adilet&Venera

This is a great topic!! Thank you, Aztec&Taino, for posting this..
I constantly think about this, about how my fiance will cope with the new environment once he is here.. He will practically be born again, learning a new language, meeting new people, etc. etc..
I just read this wonderful book by Dr. Steve Stephens "20 surprisingly simple rules and tools for a great marriage." I think it has lots of great words of wisdom.
To list a few:
Rule1 - "Make your spouse a priority." Just try to balance your work life and personal life. Don't let your spouse think he/she is unimportant..
Rule2 - "Accept differences." If we weren't different, it would be sooooo boring to live together. We need to be able to not only accept the other person's differences, but also to try to respect them. When we realize this, we find that we are actually closer to each other..
Rule3 - "Listen carefully"
Rule4 - "Compliment daily"
..
"Watch less TV"
"find time for fun"
"develop mutual friends"
"go to bed at the same time"
"take a date" - never stop dating once married.. A coworker of mine has a great strategy. Every Saturday, he and his wife take turns to take each other on a date. It is always a surprise when and where. I think that's a great way of spending quality time together and at the same time exploring different places..
etc..
Aztec&Taino, it's perfectly normal that you are going through this phase "it's not what I expected.." With time, patience, and love you will go stronger together. When my fiance arrives, I expect a lof of bumps in our relationship. With that in mind, I am preparing myself on how to react to certain things. I will try to pick the battles to fight.. But of course, it cannot be a one-way street. He will have to adapt to my personality as well. Communication (and HOW you are communicating) is the KEY!
Good luck. Enjoy every day as if it's the last one. I truly believe you will make a great couple.

The callousness of some people on this website never ceases to amaze me. Perhaps the OP made some mistakes, but I think some of you (G/A seems to be a repeat offender on a variety of threads, perhaps having friends who work at USCIS clouds their judgment, or just maybe it's a personality defect) lose your basic humanity here, much like the faceless bureaucrats who we are depending on for making decisions about our futures. The OP is dealing with a variety of issues, several miscarriages and a pregnancy, which even the dumbest should realize is very high risk after 3 miscarriages. If you can't offer meaningful assistance, then why not stay away? If you need a place to dump your own psychological bilge, find some website and troll it where the subject material does not have any real impact on people's lives.
And as for comparing flying billion dollar aircraft to some made up paperwork process, you'd have to be a fool to relate those two. Aircraft are designed logically, there are fixed and well established rules on their operation. This paperwork nightmare dreamt up by a committee often has no rhyme or reason to it.

When you are hurt, you vent. Some things you mean, others you don't. You want to lash out at the one who hurt you. Al's posts are venting. I'm sure you or anyone else would do the same if your heart was broken. He had the dream of a Russian wife, so what. We all have our dreams and ideals. His didn't work this time. It doesn't mean it won't in the future. If he has a love for Russian woman and the Russian culture, let him be. My fiance is English. And his accent curls my toes every single time I hear it. Would I love him if he wasn't English? Of course. Did I chose to fall in love with someone 4,000 miles away and thousands of dollars to be with me? No. It is what it is. Just let him vent.

I don't think anyone, including Al, thinks he only made one mistake during the entire relationship. It's just that the airport incident is brought up so much on the other site, that's why it's mentioned as the one mistake. I think the issue is more that he has no idea why she backed out. She can't explain why she changed her mind. And, of course, this is the second time she changed her mind. I think it would help him a lot if she could give him an explanation. But, honestly, it's really hard to give reasons for your feelings about somebody.
As for the bashing, while I'm not saying it's right, I understand. It's just his anger at having her do this to him. It doesn't mean he never loved her and doesn't still love her. How did she do a complete 180 on him after everything they've been through; and then have no explanation. That's what makes him so angry. I'm not saying it's right or good to bash the other person; I'm just saying I understand.
Al explained the whole "promise" issue. This is not the first time a woman did this to him. The woman who just now hurt him is the second. This current woman knows the story of the other woman. When Al proposed this time, he was worried because of what the other woman had done. And this one made the point of letting him know that she would never change her mind, she would never accept his proposal and back out. She was the one who promised that she was his for ever. She made the promise. He didn't bring it up.
I know the promise sounds weird; but when you know the whole story it makes what happened to Al seem worse. She knew what he had been through; she made him feel that it would never happen again; and then she ripped his heart out anyways.
Al, I hope you find happiness. I don't know if you have your heart set on a woman from Russia; but, if you don't, just keep in mind that there are woman all over the world. There are wonderful women in Asia, South America, Europe; and there are also wonderful women in the United States. Good luck.

I 've never thought I will say this: I HATE WEEKENDS ! And u know why? Because I know VSC is not working and my time increases and increases and increases...
I have no reasons to check VJ during the weekend but I still do maybe somebody forgot to update their timelines ... very sad ! Is there anybody who is checking VJ and uscis sites more than 3142314 times per day, because I do ?!

it looks like every month, there are about 2,000 new K-1 filers at USCIS.. which means that we don't have the entire population here on VJ website. Besides, some members here don't bother updating their timelines when they receive their NOA2 approval notice.. So I would just hang in there hoping we will be reviewed very soon =)