Hurting Bad

:-) I appreciate the offer but healing should happen first before I start dating anybody. LOL!

:-) I appreciate the offer but healing should happen first before I start dating anybody. LOL!

:-) I appreciate the offer but healing should happen first before I start dating anybody. LOL!

:-) I appreciate the offer but healing should happen first before I start dating anybody. LOL!

:-) I appreciate the offer but healing should happen first before I start dating anybody. LOL!

Oh, and while you, my VJ friends seem to know what you're talking about, I'd like to present another information:
I graduated with a degree of BS Business Administration as my first course, and then worked in Information Technology for almost 6 years (2 years in mainframe programming, and 3.5 years in PeopleSoft). Then I went into nursing school while taking care of my sick father (had to resign from work in the city because my parents live in the province). So basically, I haven't been working in IT since mid-2006.
So my questions are:
1.) Would my past IT experience, even though it has an interruption of 4 years, give me better chances than in nursing? It may be important to note that my course is non-IT, although I worked in 2 IT companies for almost 6 years. I also graduated on top of the class in both courses, I was wondering if this would mean something in employers who could give good breaks to talented individuals.
2.) Any ideas on the kind of work/job title that I could apply for in IT? I honestly feel that I could no longer answer technical questions during technical interviews because I haven't done programming in a while, and in my last 3.5 years in IT, I was basically just leading a programming team and not doing much programming either.
As for seeming to want to stay in the US (because some of you have asked about this), I just feel that I want to see what other options I have. One other reason is that I feel saddened by the fact that I would be returning to the Philippines brokenhearted while everyone there knows about my misfortune (although this is a shallow reason, and someday I know that I will overcome this fear). My youngest sister is also getting married on January 29, and just thinking about attending it already makes me want to cry again because I was dumped by my ex (although it's good riddance, of course). I feel like I want to return to the Philippines after having done something for me to look forward to, whether a new job in a new environment, or a new me who has healed for some time in the US first before returning home. I also agree that the monetary aspect is a motivation -- I would earn more in the US. And after several months of visualizing my life in the US (with my then-beloved), I have somewhat developed the image of me working in the US, too, and feel challenged that I might be able to do this on my own even with a broken heart.
But whatever happens, whether I find an employer or not, I intend to follow the visa rules and to move on with life and just stay positive about my trials whether here in the US or in the Philippines.
Looking forward to more wise advice from you.

Oh, and while you, my VJ friends seem to know what you're talking about, I'd like to present another information:
I graduated with a degree of BS Business Administration as my first course, and then worked in Information Technology for almost 6 years (2 years in mainframe programming, and 3.5 years in PeopleSoft). Then I went into nursing school while taking care of my sick father (had to resign from work in the city because my parents live in the province). So basically, I haven't been working in IT since mid-2006.
So my questions are:
1.) Would my past IT experience, even though it has an interruption of 4 years, give me better chances than in nursing? It may be important to note that my course is non-IT, although I worked in 2 IT companies for almost 6 years. I also graduated on top of the class in both courses, I was wondering if this would mean something in employers who could give good breaks to talented individuals.
2.) Any ideas on the kind of work/job title that I could apply for in IT? I honestly feel that I could no longer answer technical questions during technical interviews because I haven't done programming in a while, and in my last 3.5 years in IT, I was basically just leading a programming team and not doing much programming either.
As for seeming to want to stay in the US (because some of you have asked about this), I just feel that I want to see what other options I have. One other reason is that I feel saddened by the fact that I would be returning to the Philippines brokenhearted while everyone there knows about my misfortune (although this is a shallow reason, and someday I know that I will overcome this fear). My youngest sister is also getting married on January 29, and just thinking about attending it already makes me want to cry again because I was dumped by my ex (although it's good riddance, of course). I feel like I want to return to the Philippines after having done something for me to look forward to, whether a new job in a new environment, or a new me who has healed for some time in the US first before returning home. I also agree that the monetary aspect is a motivation -- I would earn more in the US. And after several months of visualizing my life in the US (with my then-beloved), I have somewhat developed the image of me working in the US, too, and feel challenged that I might be able to do this on my own even with a broken heart.
But whatever happens, whether I find an employer or not, I intend to follow the visa rules and to move on with life and just stay positive about my trials whether here in the US or in the Philippines.
Looking forward to more wise advice from you.

Thank you for your insights! I thought of postponing my flight, but I dismissed it, because it will prolong the agony of not knowing. The last time we were together was in April. We were as happy as a couple made in heaven and we were both in tears when we parted ways again.
Yes, as of now, the plan is to go there and see him and help him realize how much we love (or used to love) each other. If he still decides to not marry me, then yes, I will go home and move on with my life. I also said that if we do not get married before my visa expires, he loses me forever, and he said he doesn't like that ultimatum. I told him that, as much as I love him, I can't wait on him forever and hurt me again and again.
Some very important people in my life have already called me for comfort, too, and they all agree with my plan, too -- to go there, then go home if it doesn't work out, and not go back with him ever again.
It's just so weird. I'm totally caught offguard. Last night he was just telling me he is excited to hold me again :-( But as of now, no matter how much I'm hurting, I feel positive that once I arrive there on the 24th, things will be different than now, if not too much, then a little difference would matter a lot already. I always remember how happy he was when he was with me.
Yes, I definitely need to stay strong for him and for us.
Again, thank you for your helpful responses.

Hi! Thanks for the additional replies! I am feeling better. We aren't back together, but we are back to being friends, and that's what we'll be when I get there -- meaning, we start without expectations, no pressure, just be in the same vicinity and see how our physical presence would affect our situation. We still talk everyday, although the first 2 days were filled with fights, but then recently, we're excited to see each other again and laughing again.
I have also talked to his cousin in the Philippines, she was able to talk to him about the problem. The cousin talked to me secretly. She said that he really just needed time, there is really no third party. She also gave me very useful advice. I believe her... the issue is his readiness. So all in all, we had 3 break ups in our 2 years together, but we never had issues, except for his readiness for marriage. I have forgiven him for this, as for me, this isn't unforgivable. Something can still be done as long as there is love and there are no major red flags in the relationship. Successful people become so because they don't easily give up.
But I know that I should not really expect something so big to come out of this trip. My only expectation is that I show him how much I love him, and that would be enough. If he decides to let go of me, then it's not my loss. I am sure that someday, he would realize how much of a jerk he was to let go of me despite of everything we shared, and everything I did for him against all odds. Given my beauty, intelligence, talents, character, and social skills, I can easily find a much worthy replacement later on. Haha. I bet he can never find a partner who would share with him as much as we shared, and would love him unconditionally as I do. As he said yesterday, this is his best relationship, despite of our problem now.
If he decides to not get married YET and make me return to the Philippines when my visa expires, I will have to think about my next decision. One step at a time. I need a man who can make up his mind in a reasonable amount of time.
Ok, time to get ready for the big fight. I mean, flight :-) I leave today.
Cheers!

Hi! Thanks for the additional replies! I am feeling better. We aren't back together, but we are back to being friends, and that's what we'll be when I get there -- meaning, we start without expectations, no pressure, just be in the same vicinity and see how our physical presence would affect our situation. We still talk everyday, although the first 2 days were filled with fights, but then recently, we're excited to see each other again and laughing again.
I have also talked to his cousin in the Philippines, she was able to talk to him about the problem. The cousin talked to me secretly. She said that he really just needed time, there is really no third party. She also gave me very useful advice. I believe her... the issue is his readiness. So all in all, we had 3 break ups in our 2 years together, but we never had issues, except for his readiness for marriage. I have forgiven him for this, as for me, this isn't unforgivable. Something can still be done as long as there is love and there are no major red flags in the relationship. Successful people become so because they don't easily give up.
But I know that I should not really expect something so big to come out of this trip. My only expectation is that I show him how much I love him, and that would be enough. If he decides to let go of me, then it's not my loss. I am sure that someday, he would realize how much of a jerk he was to let go of me despite of everything we shared, and everything I did for him against all odds. Given my beauty, intelligence, talents, character, and social skills, I can easily find a much worthy replacement later on. Haha. I bet he can never find a partner who would share with him as much as we shared, and would love him unconditionally as I do. As he said yesterday, this is his best relationship, despite of our problem now.
If he decides to not get married YET and make me return to the Philippines when my visa expires, I will have to think about my next decision. One step at a time. I need a man who can make up his mind in a reasonable amount of time.
Ok, time to get ready for the big fight. I mean, flight :-) I leave today.
Cheers!

Thank you for your insights! I thought of postponing my flight, but I dismissed it, because it will prolong the agony of not knowing. The last time we were together was in April. We were as happy as a couple made in heaven and we were both in tears when we parted ways again.
Yes, as of now, the plan is to go there and see him and help him realize how much we love (or used to love) each other. If he still decides to not marry me, then yes, I will go home and move on with my life. I also said that if we do not get married before my visa expires, he loses me forever, and he said he doesn't like that ultimatum. I told him that, as much as I love him, I can't wait on him forever and hurt me again and again.
Some very important people in my life have already called me for comfort, too, and they all agree with my plan, too -- to go there, then go home if it doesn't work out, and not go back with him ever again.
It's just so weird. I'm totally caught offguard. Last night he was just telling me he is excited to hold me again :-( But as of now, no matter how much I'm hurting, I feel positive that once I arrive there on the 24th, things will be different than now, if not too much, then a little difference would matter a lot already. I always remember how happy he was when he was with me.
Yes, I definitely need to stay strong for him and for us.
Again, thank you for your helpful responses.

Thank you for your insights! I thought of postponing my flight, but I dismissed it, because it will prolong the agony of not knowing. The last time we were together was in April. We were as happy as a couple made in heaven and we were both in tears when we parted ways again.
Yes, as of now, the plan is to go there and see him and help him realize how much we love (or used to love) each other. If he still decides to not marry me, then yes, I will go home and move on with my life. I also said that if we do not get married before my visa expires, he loses me forever, and he said he doesn't like that ultimatum. I told him that, as much as I love him, I can't wait on him forever and hurt me again and again.
Some very important people in my life have already called me for comfort, too, and they all agree with my plan, too -- to go there, then go home if it doesn't work out, and not go back with him ever again.
It's just so weird. I'm totally caught offguard. Last night he was just telling me he is excited to hold me again :-( But as of now, no matter how much I'm hurting, I feel positive that once I arrive there on the 24th, things will be different than now, if not too much, then a little difference would matter a lot already. I always remember how happy he was when he was with me.
Yes, I definitely need to stay strong for him and for us.
Again, thank you for your helpful responses.

Thank you for your insights! I thought of postponing my flight, but I dismissed it, because it will prolong the agony of not knowing. The last time we were together was in April. We were as happy as a couple made in heaven and we were both in tears when we parted ways again.
Yes, as of now, the plan is to go there and see him and help him realize how much we love (or used to love) each other. If he still decides to not marry me, then yes, I will go home and move on with my life. I also said that if we do not get married before my visa expires, he loses me forever, and he said he doesn't like that ultimatum. I told him that, as much as I love him, I can't wait on him forever and hurt me again and again.
Some very important people in my life have already called me for comfort, too, and they all agree with my plan, too -- to go there, then go home if it doesn't work out, and not go back with him ever again.
It's just so weird. I'm totally caught offguard. Last night he was just telling me he is excited to hold me again :-( But as of now, no matter how much I'm hurting, I feel positive that once I arrive there on the 24th, things will be different than now, if not too much, then a little difference would matter a lot already. I always remember how happy he was when he was with me.
Yes, I definitely need to stay strong for him and for us.
Again, thank you for your helpful responses.

Thank you for your insights! I thought of postponing my flight, but I dismissed it, because it will prolong the agony of not knowing. The last time we were together was in April. We were as happy as a couple made in heaven and we were both in tears when we parted ways again.
Yes, as of now, the plan is to go there and see him and help him realize how much we love (or used to love) each other. If he still decides to not marry me, then yes, I will go home and move on with my life. I also said that if we do not get married before my visa expires, he loses me forever, and he said he doesn't like that ultimatum. I told him that, as much as I love him, I can't wait on him forever and hurt me again and again.
Some very important people in my life have already called me for comfort, too, and they all agree with my plan, too -- to go there, then go home if it doesn't work out, and not go back with him ever again.
It's just so weird. I'm totally caught offguard. Last night he was just telling me he is excited to hold me again :-( But as of now, no matter how much I'm hurting, I feel positive that once I arrive there on the 24th, things will be different than now, if not too much, then a little difference would matter a lot already. I always remember how happy he was when he was with me.
Yes, I definitely need to stay strong for him and for us.
Again, thank you for your helpful responses.