silvana.toma

I got a bread machine, and let me tell you...it's awsome! the bread comes out super, and it takes you 1 min to do it, the machine takes care of the rest. It's really yummy too! I make bread every second day now, and it's always fresh, and no preservatives, and other non sense.

Try it! If you eat bread at least 4 times a week it's worth buying a bread machine!

I was in the same exact situation ...it sucked! as i didn't know why that happened since my address was correct. Nobody could give me an answer why this happened, I called uscis so many times...and they were telling me it's because i have to register my name to the post office, and when i called the post office to ask her about that she laughed at me, saying she never heard of such thing.

someone here on VJ told me to put my name on the mail box, so when they resend the letter the mail man was smart enough to figure it out.

When i finally got my letter, i noticed it had apt. 30 instead of 303, so that was the reason why i didn't get my letter, and even i called and gave the uscis my correct address the second time around it came with the wrong apt number AGAIN, thank God the mail man is smart!

why can you not acces your personal data??? it's your application i would asume...do you have the receipt number for the 1-131? if so just call uscis, and let them know what happened. they will just resend you the biometrics(if that's the letter that went back)letter. Also, it could be the biometrics letter, will you be in us before your appointment?

Hey,

I am a november filer, and i just checked my online status for my I-485 application and we will have our interview on the 29 of march. We filed on nov.8th. I can not believe it's taking 4 months and a half to get the interview appointment...that is so quick!!

I really hope and pray that we will get a nice IO that will not give us the "i'll have to review your case one more time, and you will be notified..."kind of thing. To be honest i am scared because i am not stressed out at all. Thing is I know my story is real, and i have nothing to hide, so i would like to think of this more like a formality than anything else; i hope i will be as brave as i am now on the day of the interview

Good luck to all of you doing this right now.

Just a short update on my house hunting..

We put an offer on that short sale on monday(it sounds an easy short sale as the bank agrees with the listed price)even though we saw the house at night and there was no electricity. So we told the realtors(mom and daughter team) we would also like to see the home in day light as it is normal, right?

So they told us on sunday we can meet at 11. Sunday came around and me and my hubby we woke up early as we were so excited that we could not even sleep. So around 9:30 as we were having breakfast, my hubby says:let me text the realtors to make sure we are good to go. The realtors texted us back that she is sick, and she can not go, so my hubby asked if there was someone else that can take us as next week my hubby has drill, and works late everyday because he lost his assistaant, and obviously we would like to see the house before the bank comes back with a counteroffer, as we would like to see how much money we will have to put into it. The realtor texted us back saying her mother is at her grandmother as her grandma is also sick. When we met with them they said they have an open house on sunday from 12 to 4.

We have been waiting a whole week to see this home in day light, and it was such a bummer that last minute she told us we can not go. At least it's good my hubby texted her, maybe she would not even remember us.

I am sorry, I can understand beeing sick, but to me this sounds like: we already got you, you put an offer in, we know you like the house enough to buy it, so we are not worried that we will loose you, so right now we are chasing other clients, as this is our bussiest day.

You know...i am so dissapointed, that i just want to get this home, and i hope we stay there forever so we never hear the word realtor ever again.

I know there are some amazing realtors out there, i am just sad we were not lucky enough to meet them, and what is worse there are some people who ruin the reputation for everone.

Yes, My MIL sounds just like that, i would say a bit worse. She is so manipulative to the point that she can convince anyone the sky is red. You are right ...you can not reason with such people.

I will give you an example of what she told me lately on an e-mail. She said that ever since her son started dating me he started lying to her, as her son never lied to her, ever,and he changed for the worst. I did not respond to that one,BUT i would have loved to ask her if she had a lie detector at the entrance door, to know that her boy never lied to her. I know we all want to believe that the lov ed ones never lied to us, but to make this a solid argument and blame someone for the effect is just crazy to me. That is the most stupid thing you can say: X never lied to me...are you serious?

I told her i did not appreciate her trying to push my hubby to meet with his ex(while i was in romania, and right after we have barried the hatchet again), when they haven't seen eachother in over 10 years, and broke up in bad terms. what was the point? She answered and told me must be a culture thing..as she loved a couple of my hubby's ex's(hubby said she hated them all), and there is nothing wrong if my hubby is friends with his ex's. Sure it's nothing wrong if HE decided to do that..not you trying desperate to hook up your son with his ex hoping he will break up with me...

I will try to find the book, and read it, as sometimes i feel only profesional help would be able to shed some light here.

We suposed to meet with her on friday, but my hubby and I decided to cancel. Long story short...we haven't talked to her for almost a year, my hubby is extremly upset with her, but she is trying very hard to reach out to my husband, and as i felt sorry for her, i decided to e-mail her and try for the last time to make amends ...she responded in her way of course 99% of the e-mnail blaming me for everything bad in this world, and 1% how she also wants to make amends...long story short is i told her what has happened in the past year since she hasn't heard from us...like we got married, bought a dog etc..2 days later she calls my hubby congratulates him, etc...and what did i get? silence...Once she noticed that i opened up the door to her son, she just ignored me. So i said i am not playing her stupid little game anymore, so i told my hubby i am not going anywhere with her until she responds my e-mail, as i have been on this path toooooo many times.

For those of you who have normal people as your in-laws...appreciate them as much as you can, and sometimes when they seem a bit anoying try to understand them, as this world is full of bad people, and you are soo lucky to have landed in a good family.

I know!

The worst part was when they became unemployed and were hanging around the house aaaaall day, every day. And I couldn't drive! My MIL has issues with paranoia and is very clingy and interfering, so it became just awful. She would "advise" us to do things that were silly, and knock on our door several times a day to ask my husband to do favours for her, etc. And if I was feeling down about something, she would tell me unhelpful things... then she had a mental breakdown at the end, and I just couldn't get away.

It wasn't by choice, I couldn't find a job out in the country no matter how hard I looked. Finally found one in another state and we got the heck out of there (still only 40 mins away but it's enough)!

Sounds horrifying, but at least you were able to live under the same roof. My MIL and I...if we were the last people alive on this planet we would still not be able to live under the same roof.

Thank God you found a job, it's hard living with the in-laws, no matter how nice they are...they obviously have different ideeas about life, and they want us to do whatever they say just because they are older, and know better, but obviously sometimes their advice doesn't apply to this era we are living in.

I think for some of us distance and disconection from MIl is the only way to stay sane.

Living with your in-laws for 19 months? You are my hero !!!

Oh this thread is older than I thought. My bad. Well good luck on the house hunting.

Tx!!!!

This thread makes me sad coz i won't have my MIL since she already pass away and according to my fiance's story that she is such nice woman who struggle much for her family. My mom also has passed away. No mom then. But i will be a good mom!!!!!!!!!!! One day.

I am sorry to hear that, unfortunately a lot of times we take our moms for granted like they will be here for at least another thousand years...(that's what i want to believe about my mom-cause she is the best EVER!!)

Ok, then you are Type 3, the one that doesn't have a MIl...and that could be either way-good or bad ...yours was obviously bad not to have her. since she was a nice lady.

I liked what you said "i will be a good mom one day"...as i don't have kids yet either, but i sure hope I will be a good one even if i have boys

While I can't say that my mother in law really dislikes (or hates) me, she does not make life easy when she visits. It got worse once we had our daughter Emily.

She came over when our daughter was 6 weeks old, and stayed for 2 weeks (in our house). On only her second night there, she and hubby had a SCREAMING match after she would not stop telling us that everything we were doing (parenting wise) was wrong. Now we're first time parents, and certainly not perfect, but Emily is/was a healthy and happy baby with no real issues (no sleeping or eating problems, no colic, etc). Despite this, we just did everything wrong and if we didn't take her 'suggestion' (which was always presented as a demand) - then she'd roll her eyes, sigh, and leave the room in a huff. LOL!!!

That night's screaming match was so bad that hubby actually had to tell her to keep her mouth shut, or get on the next plane home (and boy was he serious!). I tried to stay out of it, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be all happy joy joy the next time she comes to visit. Hubby told me that, if he were me, he's not sure he could ever speak to her again after how she behaved. That is honestly how I feel, except that I wouldn't do that only because it would be hard on him. So I can play nice, but I tell you this - I will not take one extra day off work when she visits. She is his burden to deal with, not mine!

I know exactley what are you talking about, as my MIl is the same, the "know it all" kind of person, and seriously who can compete with that?

My MIL finds all sorts of stupid excuses not to like me, and then she runns to my hubby hoping my hubby will be on her side.. I think the main reason why I even started this topic is because i am probably The mother of Xena, as my story is so full of drama even TNT would find it interesting.

I met my MIl 3 times, in 5 years, and 2 out of 3 times(only because the first time we met i was not hubby's GF) it went preety bad, she hated me, and I ended up hating her as she was so mean and hurtful that no normal human beeing would stand for that.

LAst year she offered my hubby money only if he would start dating other women.

I am meeting her this friday.I know...I know...i know what are you thinking...and you are probably right, but i believe in giving people as many chances as it's necesarry for them to come into the light,SO I opened up comunication as she is desperately trying to get in tocuh with my husband(my hubby is really upset with her) . So i figured i give it a shot, this could be my shot to get her to know me....who am i kidding??? No, this is a disaster waiting to happen.

I'll keep you posted

Like others have said - you definitely want to get pre-approved so you know how much home you can afford. It's frustrating to look at houses that are out of your price range. I would also recommend getting in touch with a trusted realitor who can do the searching for you. Most places won't get too excited to show you anything if you haven't been pre-approved since it's basically wasting their time. Ask around to friends, family and co-workers to get in touch with a good realitor who then can get you in touch with a mortgage person to do the pre-approving. My husband and I just bought our first house together last year. It was a little daunting at first but once we were pre-approved it was actually fun.

Tx for the concern, but we have been pre-aproved a month ago, we have the letter from the bank saying for how much we are beeing pre-aproved.We are also going to call the mtg person again today just to make sure we are good for this other house.

Also, we are working with a realtor right now that was reacomended by my huby's assistant, and she seems very good(she and her mom make a team so it's two brains in action)

Ok, so we lost the home we put an offer on. The other couple offered to pay in cash the full amount of the closing costs and also closing in march 1st. We could not close so soon even if we wanted to..

So, it wasn;t ment to be i guess, and to be honest i wasn't looking forward to all the work that had to be put in just to be able to move in that house...just trying to find that silver lining

SO, now there are 2 other homes just like the one we liked(same builder, same house)only that these are a bit more expensive(one is 177k, and one is 169k), but it's in ready to move in condition, just a power wash, and steam clean the carpets, that's all.

One is short sale, valued at 382k, and it's on the market for 169k. I know i know....i know about short sales...they are a head ache, BUT the realtors (the mother daughter team)we talked to yesterday told us the home already had a contract on it, but the people could not come up with the money. So the bank knows and agrees with the price, so our realtors are very happy with that. Today we will go see it, and hopefully it will be worth the extra money(compared to the other one for 154k)

Our realtors are NOT the listing agent.

I will let you know, as i am dying to barbeque on my back yard this summer!

I never had a house, my parents lived in an apartment(like most people in romania)so to me this is like a dream come true!

I am the USC, my husband and she are Moroccan.

ok, got it!

My husband is the USC, and my parents don't speak english, but they love and respect eachother very much!

I would seriously LOVE to know what my inlaws truly think of me.

You know...sometimes is better not to know.

My MIL and I don't share a common language. It is kind of difficult to have either a positive or negative relationship in this way.

i see you know english, is she not a USC?

4 replies, and 103 views...am i safe to asume the difference are type 2? just kidding...

But seriously...it's ok, i can understand if you don't want to make it public. I realized later that this could be a very sensitive and tabu subject for most people.

well...then wish us luck!

If we get this home I would invite all of you for a barbeque, but unfortunately no one is from virginia.

Have you ever had the feeling that if there would be a comet coming straight to earth, and you would be the only one able to save this planet, meaning you would fly like superman, and redirect that comet someplace else and save the planet....your mother in law would still not like you?

Do you think is because she knows super man is played by ken clark and he is american? and you are from columbia, romania, philipines etc and married to her son?

If yes to my previous question, you probably know by now you are amongst milions of girls who share this very comon problem, and you also know(or need to)that chances are it's not your fault.

In my mind there are 2 types of girls out there:1. You don't know how lucky you are type girl, the ones that have the perfect husband and the husband has the perfect family and they all welcome you with open arms, and all of a sudden your family is so much bigger as they all recieve you in their family and make you feel like you were part of it since you were born,and NO I am not talking about the after life ...this actually happens, it does...seriously...but anyway...and THEN there is type 2.Xena: worrior princess, the type i just opened this topic with -the one that has to battle the dementor(for those who never saw Harry Potter -it's a creature that sucks the life and all the happines out of you)or the "never happy no matter what you do mother in law" aka monster in law.

Which type are you? I would like to hear your stories, maybe we can all learn from eachother's actions, and maybe one day we can all be type 1 girl.

Here is my disclaimer:

Obviously ...I know there are some amazing women out there that have boys are are great with their daughters in law, so my comments are solely for the ones that deserve it.

We do not want to offer more, as this home needs a lot of work...and the problem is we will have to do that before we even move in...i want to say about 8k of work...just to make it livable. So, if the other people(if it's even true) will get it so be it, there is another 2 homes just like that(one is short sale unfortunately) that we can pursue.

The reason why I am very suspicious about the "other couple who put an offer in" is because we talked to the listing agent on friday and on monday he called us to put the 2nd offer as there is someone else interested in this home...so it's a pretty big coincidence...but i'm not saying it's bogus...it could be true, but we will just have to take that risk.

I'll let you know as today he will let us know what the answer is.

Yesterday we signed the second offer on that house we liked. We had to use the listing agent. They wanted 2500 in Ernest money, but i said no, 1500 will be enough as we are first time home buyers.

Then last night the listing agent called us as there is another couple who put an offer on this home, and he wants our best offer, as today the seller will take both offers and compare them and either they will counteroffer one or accept one. Ha HA HAh...Yeah, like I said I might be first time homebuyer but I am not falling for sales traps that easy. So we said: Sorry we are firm on the 150k (the asking price is 154) and the seller pays 6k in closing costs, and if the other people will get it, then it wasnt' ment to be. This home requires us to spend at least 8k just for us to be able to move in it, and has almost no back yard, just a huge second story terrace; these are the 2 big downsides to this home....but again it's 154k...we got to sacrifice somehere.

The house stayed on the market for more than 6 months...chances are it's not going anywhere, and they should be happy to sell it to us 4k less than the asking price.

There is another home we like(exactly like this one, same exact everything)it was 194k 4 weeks ago, and 2 days ago i saw it listed for 177k, it's move in ready(yey...no painting walls and changing carpet), no need to spend any money on this one as everything is almost new....so if we don't get the home we put the offer in yesterday, we are free free free to get a realtor and start pursuing this other home.

Worst case scenario we wait some more, it doesn't look like the prices are going up anyway, on the contrary..they are going down as we speak.

oh,I agree here 100%!!!Silvana, you need to be very agressive if you want that home. Good luck!!!

ps: I'm a Capricorn too.

Thank you Iuliana for the support, I agree, We are going forward with this home. Today we just put a second offer on the home,(as there is another couple who just put an offer in today) and we used the listing agent.. so now he also represents us.

We did not sign a buyers agreement, he will only represent us for this particulare house, and i have to say he seems like a very genuine nice old man(he was a cop his entire life) and he explained to us every single detail of buying a home, without sugar coating us too much and now we get it, we finally get it!!!!

Are you are a capricorn too? yey!!!

I'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks you need money to have a child.

The days when you are just having kids like there is no more tomorrow are long gone. With so much instability in the world it's scary to even think about it.

As far as the wedding goes, some people are just silly, they say things just for the sake of not shutting up.

The silliest question I was asked when i used to work on one of the carnival ships, was :Do crew members sleep on the ship? No....half of us sleep with the fish... and the other half is taken with a helicopter at night back on land and in the in the morning they bring us back on the ship

Is Realtor A by any chance the agent who listed the home? Is she the one who has the contract with the seller to sell the home?

No, realtor A is NOT the one who listed the home, we met the listing agent-is a guy, so i know for sure it's not her.

Ok, so i will make a long story short and make it as clear as i can, so maybe you can understand me better this way.

1. started looking at homes with realtor's A's help, (but never signed buyer's agreement with her).

2. found our home on our own, then we went to see it, we fall in love.

3. Realtor A made the first offer on this house on our behalf(put a $1000 in Ernest money)

4. the seller(it's a foreclosure, and the seller is NOT Realtor A) made a counteroffer to close in march

5. we can not close so early, so we told Realtor A to postponed the 2nd offer, to buy us some more time.

6. while waiting we discovered Realtor A is been lying to us(long story) and her negotiating skills were lousy.

7. told Realtor A she is fired

8. talked to Realtor B, explained the situation, Realtor B said they will have to call Realtor A to make sure she doesn't want part of the commission, as she can come back and sue them

9. Realtor A of course wants a commission

10 realtor B refuses to take the case as they do not want to share the commission

11. we are s##########

And NO, we are not buying a home we can not afford, that is why people don't have homes right now, and NO we are not "talked into" buying this home, we love this home and i feel like I'm talking the bank into getting me the best price for something that already has the best price...but that's just me- i want a bargain even on clearance items

We might not know the technicalities of real estate, but we are not idiots( we would still be with realto A if that would be the case)we know a good deal when we see it, and we just want to get it, but now it's a bit more difficult to do it BUT we will manage, i am a capricorn...very stubborn, we will find someone to help i'm sure, we just need to shop around a bit.

Against all odds, and head aches, we will get this home, for a great price too, if not hey..it's not the end of the world, we will just go back to realtor B(as they know what they are talking about) and go from there.

Well...yes i am not familiar with the american way of buying real estate. You are correct, but the people, who were americans, were also not able to explain it to us so we understand it, as i already mentioned we are first time home buyers...so obviously we don't know a whole lot about this.

Now let me clarify, I am sorry, i stand corrected, we did put $1000 in ernest money, but we decided to withdraw the offer for a week, as we could not close untill april anyway, and the seller-bank wanted us to close in march, so that would buy us more time. So we decided to wait a week, then put another offer in. But in that week we came to the conclusion that our realtor is lying to us, and on top of that is not a very good negociator, so we decided to let her go.

We never signed a buyer's realtor contract with realtor A, but we put an offer in for a home with realtor A, and that entitles her to part of a comision in case we decide to get someone else for this job.

We were recomended another real estate agent, and we were very pleased with them, but when they called realtor A to tell her they are representing us, she told them they will be sued, if we end up buying this home, if she doesn't get part of the comision. I would guess our new realtors did not want to get involved in this, as they said their hands are tied when it comes to this house.

Realtor B IS the brocker, she owns the company, and the only other person working with her are the secretary and her son, so you can understand that after all that comotion we do not want to go back to her, or her son.

NOW....we want this house but no realtor would work with us because i'm sure no one wants to split the comission...

SO, knowing this, we have one choice but to work straight with the seller, negociate straight with the seller, and when we are ready to close we will hire a lawyer to review the contract to make sure everything is all right. I heard a lot of people hire a lawyer just for that one aspect. And that would be because we have no realtor to represent us.

Yes, you are right we could buy another home, but we love this one..

If we would have known that this will be the situation we would probably just stayed with this realtor A, but in the same time, i don't want to promote her lying, and misleding people. I hope she learned something from this experience and next time when she will try to play smart with first time home buyers she will think twice.

thank you guys for baring with me.

so you still think we should not get a lawyer? It's a shame lisa you are in florida, otherwise maybe you would take our case, as this part is the easiest...no need to see any homes, just negociate and sign the final contract:)

have a great sunday!

We only put one offer on this home, so we didn't give them the ernest money yet. We love this home, and unfortunately there is no other home like this one, this is a hot deal, our hearts are set on this one.

We already talked to the seller's realtor and worst came to worst we represent ourselves, as we can negociate..just to be honest i am not afraid that we can get the short stick, as i feel we are "raping" them with this price anyway. But of course we will negociate as we worked in the art world so we are good with negociating. We will hire a realtor lawyer to overlook the contract so we make sure it's all good. The EX realtor will get the comision unfortunately, but we like this home, and it's not like we pay her anyway, the seller is paying her..

It's really sad what happend as this has put a shadow on our first time home buying experience, but at least we will get the home we love. Of course it's not perfect as it overlooks the neighbours back yard, but i will learn how to garden and i am intending to make a garden of eden of of it.

i will let you know how it goes, and i thank you all for beeing with me on this!

have a good sunday!