mandolinv

I am so sorry for how things are going.

Happy Day To You

It will not be a problem. He may have to travel to the capital city of the state where he was born to get it. My husband did. I don't know if he had to or if he just did. When he gets it, have him get a second "origional" just in case. We ended up needing 2 origionals or 1 origional and one certified copy. Basically, in Nigeria if you find the right person and pay them, you will get what you need for just about anything. Good luck.

I agree. I think perception is the key factor here. It is really hard for people from a cash society to understand the idea of credit and that you don't actually own most of that stuff you have (well, not own as in paid for).

congrats!

Good luck!

This is what I plan to do once my husband gets his SSN. It is what my sister had. To add him next time to my insurance will be about 400 a month. I just want to cover in case of big needs/in case of an emergency. There are plans speciffically for that. The costs is anywhere from 50-300 depending on what it covers, how much it covers and the deductable. My sister just searched on google or yahoo for medical insurance, went through some websites, and called some agents and talked to them. She even had to use hers for a fall she had and it worked fine. When I get home, I'll try and remember to look for the name of it and post it.

Be sure to talk to the insurance agent about what is a quallifying event. I assumed moving to this country would be a quallifying event for my husband. The lady in the HR department said that it was not. Changing employment was, so if he quit his job and got here with in the 30 days of that, he could be on my insurance. Otherwise, she couldn't find a qualifying event that worked for us (we were married a year before he came).

I wanted to know if anyone else was incountering this. As all of us know who call Nigeria, it is often hard to connect. You sometimes have to call back a few times. The two calling cards we have tried, count each of those attempts as a call (even if they don't connect). And as such, count them as a minute because all of the calling cards I have tried round to the next minute. So, does anyone have one they use that doesn't count unconnected calls as a minute? We have avoided this some by calling on the regular line until you can get through and then hanging up and calling on the phone card. Somethimes this works and sometimes it doesn't and it still uses money. Any advice would be welcome.

Thanks for the help.

Hi all. I'm sure that this has been asked before, but I can't seem to find it. How are people financing their higher education. My husband asked me last night about if he would be able to get a loan for school. I told him I didn't know. Does anyone know if and when an immigrant is elligable for Federal loans, work/study, and pell grants? Any info, or knowledge about how to get the info would be appreciated. Thanks, Mandolin

Yes! I can definately also say that I felt this before he came. I am also very independent. I love him with all my heart and am thilled to be married to him and share our life together, but I was a bit nervous before he came. I was worried about the exact same things you are thinking about. It has been wonderful having him here. I can't imagine how I made it that year without him. But, I have had to make changes. But, it was a help that I was prepared and knew that there would be changes and was open to them before he came. So it hasn't been that difficult. Not that every minute is a honeymoon, but for the most part, my fears about what I might have to give up, change, or lack of freedome have not been an issue for us.

Yeah, I would keep checking and shop around. I do know, though, that for a male under 25 (regardless of credit) driving insurance is quite high. The price of 3500 (less than 200 a month) sounds really bad, but I think it was close to that for my brother until he was 25. I can't remember for sure, but 150 a month sounds right. I've never heard of it being connected with the credit rating. I don't know if that is new, or I just never heard of it before. Once he turns 25 his price should go down quite a bit. Good luck

Okay, well this may all have been talked to death, but I took the time to read all the posts (yes, all 4 pages in one sitting) and feel like I want to put my 2 cents in. . A lot of this has already been said in some form, but not in the exact way or context I would say it. So, I may be repeating some, but I feel I am saying it in a different or indepth way (could just be that I like to hear myself talk ).

I don't think it is a matter of trustme needing therapy or not. I think she needs some help (and she thinks she needs some help and that is why she asked for it). It could be therapy (I don't see anything wrong with that). It could be simply posting here. It could be talking to friends. It could be talking to herself and really analyzing what she is feeling and why and dealing with it. The issue is that she wants to change things and that is the first the step in any growth. So, whether it be therapy, talking, etc.. , it is the self growth that she desires and every poster after her agrees with her (they just disagree about how she should do that). Well, it is her life, so she has to decide how to do that !

I think that her feelings of lack of trust (for him, but even more so in her ability to keep him) are what everyone feels at some point. The issue here is that she feels that these feelings are happening too offten and to too great of a degree. So, it doesn't matter whether they are normal or abnormal. They are there and they are something she wants to work on. That is all that matters (not lables and the conotations of right and wrong that are attached to them!).

One person got mad about the use of religion in helping the OP to deal with this. I don't specifically disagree with what that poster said, even though I personally don't follow any specific religion. I think that if a God or Gods, or some higher power will help the origional poster deal with what she is dealing with and help her make the journey through this time easier, then go for it. If not, the you can easilly diregard what the person said. It isn't a matter of whether that was good or bad advices. The OP can take it or leave it like any of the advise given to her here.

Worry is worry and some people worry. I am a worrier. It is something that I amNOT happy about myself and am working on changing. But it is a difficult change and a long process. I decided that worry was something that was a part of me, but it wasn't productive. I realized that the things I was worring about (and I worried/worry about everything) were going to happen whether I worried about them or not. The worring wasn't effecting the situation/outcome, just how I felt on a daily basis (and to some degree how my SO felt). I decided that I would put a consciencetious effort into not worrying. Not because I felt it was wrong, but because it was making me unhappy. I am not saying that I don't worry. Worry creeps it's ugly head in all the time. I am just better at letting go of it an not letting it consume me.

I want the OP to know that you are making a choice to make this journey into change. It is a difficult process and you need to decide what you want to gain from it and where you want to end up (example- do you not want to worry at all? Do you want to worry less so it doesn't interfeer with life? Are you not looking at changing the worry, but how you deal with it etc.. Where do you want to end up?). That is the first step. Then you can make a plan on how to get there. That plan will have to be your plan based on everything everyone here says to you. It can be through talking with family, friends, spouse, therapist, or simply creating a self-talk plan. The main step is that you are aware that you want to make this chang. Now, you have to figure out how to go about that.

No one can tell you exactly how to do that. Everyone grows and journeys through life in different ways. I would suggest reading though these posts again with fresh eyes ignoring anything that isn't giving you suggestions on what you were asking. After reading all of these, decide what part of them you want to take and what you want to discard. Do the same with you talk to friends, family, etc.. and when you come up with ideas on your own. Then make your plan. If it is working, stick to it. If it is not, go back, do the same thing again, and make changes.

And remember. This is a process that takes time and energy and won't happen over night. Breath deep and focus on the positive things about yourself. I hope that in time, you are able to get to the place that is right for you in this journey.

This is a pain. But, on a good note, our money is relatively seccure. My husband is very scared about putting money in our account. His family lost 40 thousand dollars when their bank in Nigeria bellied up. So, there are problems here that are big pains (and the "patriot" act is a big cause of usless hassle and harrassment- just my opionion) but we are better off than some places. At least we can be fairly assured that our money will be there tomorrow (or whenever it becomes unfrozen if it is frozen). Gosh, that is got to be a pain. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't able to access my bank account. It's surely something to think about once he gets added.

Hello all. I had a nice experiance and wanted to see if any of you have had similar opportunities. Before Malcon came, I met a Nigerian at a garage sale. We have kept in touch some and since Malcon has been here, we have met in person and talked quite a bit. He has been here for 15 years or something, so he is a great resource for Malcon. Early on when we talked, he said that there used to be a Nigerian Association in the town near where we live. He said that it had pretty much disbanded, but they were trying to get it going again. Well, they had a meeting to try to start it up again. Malcon and I went. It was very interesting. There were about 15-20 Nigerians all in one place. Malcon is very shy and doesn't particularly like new situations with new people, but I think he like it just being around that many Nigerians. I loved hearing them talk (both their accents and they prases and ways of speech). It made me realize that a lot of the things/ways Malcon says things is a Nigerian way of speaking, not just his. They are planning on having more meetings. The focus seems as if it will be on helping Nigerians to be more visiable in this area, helping people, and allowing social and cultural exchanges. I am really excited about this and the meeting was very fun and educational for me. Have any of you had the opportunity to do anything like this? Share any experiances you have had.

Malcon is adjusting. The weather and being away from family and friends is the hardest, but he is managing. No real news. We filed for AOS and EAD. He has his biometrics appt. on March. 6th, so we are hoping for EAD before the end of March. He has been working on studying for his GED for sometime in the future so he can further his education later on. Other than that, just adjusting to married life. All is good. I was worried about him getting sick. I got a pretty nasty cold about a month ago, and then had the flu this week. He has been amazing. He barely had a cough when I had the cold and hasn't shown any signs of the flu. I am very thankful for that. Nothing much else new.

Never heard of it. Doesn't mean it hasn't happened, but I haven't heard of anything like it.

You have to decide what to do for yourself. Talk to your loved one and see what they suggest. When I went, I avoided some things by going to Abjua instead of Lagos. My husband (not at the time) felt it was safe for me to go. Even though I had never met him in person, I trusted him. He says that if I were going to meet him now, he would tell me not to come. He says that in the last 6 months or so, things have gotten to the point where he would not feel it is safe for me to be there. So, basically, do a lot of talking. Discuss with each other your fears and what things are like there. Discuss if it is worth it/nessicary to travel now, or if a different time or place (different country) would be better/safer. You have to do what it right for you as a cople and only the 2 of you can decide what that is. Good luck!

Hope it goes smoothly and quickly.

My husband got his learner's permit yesterday. We live in the country, so I've driven with him some on the country roads, but after he got his permit yesterday, he drove in town. I think I am a very good wife for not freaking out and not yelling. He did very well and I am proud of him. But, I have a hard time with others driving and think I did very good when he was driving.

Tornados

Michael sounded so happy last night when we talked with him. I am so very thrilled that it was such a smooth interview. All I can say is that I hope KC stays as wonderfully easy over the next year! Congradulations to being free of paperwork for a while.

Thanks for the update. I'm glad things are going so well!

Yeah, I can't wait to get home to have my husband explain what they were saying to each other.