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Posts posted by SimAsh
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Congrats on the pregnancy!
You may not sponsor your in-law for any immigrant visa.
As for a non-immigrant tourist visa, she may apply for one. If she is able to demonstrate overwhelming evidence that will compel her to return to India once her authorized period of stay is over, she has a good chance of being issued a B2.
Thanks Sachinky. I thought you can sponsor your MIL for her grand child but I guess it's half luck and half making sure that you have tons of papers to show that everything is legit. Thx again. TC
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Do you mean a visitor visa? If so, you can't sponsor her. she has to file herself for a tourist visa.
if you mean a GC, you can't file a GC for in laws.
by the way, congrats on the new baby.
Well, I am not sure if we need to do visitor visa or tourist visa. We just need here till the baby is born and may be few months after while. In my family/culture usually wife will stay at her mothers place till she have baby. Thanks aleful
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Hi all VJ Members, I am US Citizen and my wife came here last November (thanks to all your help). We are expecting new born by AUG or SEP. I am trying to sponsor my mother-in-law so she can come and comfort my wife and be with her while I am at work. Can someone please tell me if she can come or not and if she can than what's the process about going by. Also, just FYI my parents also live here in States but they are not able to stay at my place because they have business to operate and other family issues. Thanks
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Looks like you must be from the state of Gujarat.
Ahmedabad Passport office will make you ask questions like this.
Yes, it's from Ahmedabad PCC office and they require something written from NVC stating that you need PCC otherwise they don't give you PCC. I just got off the phone with NVC and for Mumbai embass you take the PCC at the time of interview (you don't send in at NVC)
Thanks all
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Hello All, am I correct here that for Mumbai Embassy you take the PCC with you AT THE TIME OF THE INTERVIEW?
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wish you all the best and don't worry it will go through fine..:-)
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I agree with Loto. It's not that big of deal as long as you meet the criteria they set and they don't go and run your financial check or employee check. I would not worry everything will be fine just submit the doc Loto said. take care
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Congrats. We have interview on Nov 19th at Mumbai interview also. Good luck with all. take care
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What is DD stand for?
Only Fee you are required to pay after you get interview date is VFS fee. But other than that you are not required to pay other fee. I would take few thousand rupees with me just incase if you have to pay any small fees there. If whoever is coming with you at the interview than they can seat and wait at the Star and Stripe lounge and there is small fee for that.
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do we need police clearance certificate from each place that my wife has lived, in india from the age of 16?
If you mentioned the place in your DS230 Form than you would need it. Like if I had worked some place for 8 months and if I showed in my DS230 From than obeviously they want to make sure that you didn't have any criminal history or in that manner. Just no big issue take your time.
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SimAsh, my timeline is similar because unless it goes into administrative processing (which can take months) we should get the visa the day after. I took the gamble and already bought tickets. I told you my rationale on your profile. My timeline is:
Interview: Nov 29
Receive PP + VISA: Nov 30 from VFS--I know Chennai is hot and stinky (sorry Chennai-ites, but its true) but I rather come back from Chennai with the pp+visa.
Fly back to the USA together: Dec 6; I have waited long enough!!
I know its an aggressive time-line, but even if we don't get the pp the next day ( and I don't see why we wouldn't), the couriers take 2 days, even if the consulate says 7 working days.
And good advice from Sachinky and Twulf on the docs. Carry copies of everything you have submitted. ALSO carry a brand new DS-230. I have heard others have had to fill it out last minute.
So, you going to the interview with her and then you both are planning to come back on Dec 6th?
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hey all, i know this is kind of our own decision (we are trying to book the ticket)but with past experience from VJ members is it reasonable to think that you would get visa in 5 working days in mail (if you are not able to pick-it up same day)? We are thinking about booking the ticket for Nov 26 and she has interview on Nov 19th
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KaashParinda, yes I think it's best that she will take the Medical Exam results with her instead of submitting at the VFS because I don't trust them (it could easily get lost in mail or in mailing room) and if they said we have to submit the originals than I told her to make a copy of it and keep one with her when she goes for interview.'
Yes, she will have her original passport, Med cert and VFS receipt. She also has to take her original PCC (Police Clearance Cert) with her because NVC told us that Mumbai embassy was accepting the PCC at the time of interview and NVC did not needed that.
I have heard that you can pick-up visa same day also at Mumbai embassy, so she is going to try to see if she can pick it up same day.
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Thank you all. I think I will have her submit the copies at VFS and hand carry the original with her on the day of interview.
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hey all, my wife has an interview on November 19th and she has an appointment for her medical exam on Oct 25th. So, after she receives her results; should she go ahead and submit her originals documents(medical exam document and PCC)at the VFS office or take it with her at the time of interview? E-mail I got back from the VFS states that she can take the original with her at the time of the interview. However, she has to go there to pay for the mailing fee of the passport. I have heard that at mumbai embassy you can also pick-up the passport same day after the interview is complete according to VFS website.
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Wondering how your sister and her child are doing?
hope all are well
Thanks, Nab. She is doing better and my nephew is well too. She moved in with me and I am going to attend him at the school near me and we will try to work out the legal matters when my sister is ready. Thanks again nab for your kind advice.
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hopefully you got pictures of the bruises, if not, you should do that now and label with date and how much time has passed when pics were taken from time of abuse. keep an envelope or folder with all documentation together; whether DA follows up or not, whether your sister presses charges or not, keep evidence with your important papers in a lockbox. if she wants the evidence, make copies for her. keep in your mind there is always possibilty he will come crying to her within couple weeks and talk her into dropping this but unless he is dedicated to making sure he never lays hands on her again he WILL. you may need taht evidence later.
i know some will disagree with me but i believe people dont "just change", they have to work at it and constantly be vigilant if they have behavioural issues. a good indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. abusers, cheaters, and so on dont "just change", they have to modify their thought processes and actions.
truly, do document everything because the memory is not as good as you think ... document ALL things, no matter how small they may seem because if things escalate you can show a pattern i.e. a smack on the arm can next time be grabbing the arm and twisting it to next time grabbing the hand and breaking fingers. you dont want your evidence starting at the broken fingers and DA saying there's not a pattern of abuse sso you have to wait til more violent actions occur (start a .doc file on computer or dedicate a notebook solely for this):
all contact - in person/phone, time/date, and what his behaviour was (make sure she stays COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED at all times when dealing with him)
ALL times he takes child for visitation (time/place pickup/dropoff)
any more concerns/incidents (as well as document the past ones) with either your sister OR her child. some men will begin to take out their frustrations on the child when the mother is out of reach and the way the court system is now it is standard thing for mnay years now for parents to have joint custody, so expect that he will get that (a parent has to be pretty bad not to get joint custody, even abusers dont automatically lose custody). sicne she has a child with him, she will be limited to how far away she can move, she will have to consulate with him on everything regarding the child and so on. basically motherhood in our country puts her under the control of the father of the child till the child is 18yo. it can be quite a nightmare depending on how sadistic he wants to be and how much he wants to control her life. abusers can be huge control freaks
she's very blessed to have such good brother... it's nice to know there's good guys out there.
peace be with you
Yes, I am taking the pictures but I don't want to keep reminding her past and just want to help her to move on. Thanks again nab for sharing wise words with me.
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I agree with JustBob that you have the moral responibility of helping your sister in a situation she can't help herself (due to the abuse and manipulation by the abusive husband). I also agree with nab that SHE has to want to get out of the abusive marriage.
Now, lets find some common ground here!
I think there are a lot of ways you can be helpful to her; be supportive. Make it clear that what her husband is doing is deadwrong and once she decides to go against him, you will be there no matter what.
You also can collect evidence, photos you can take of her, not sure if you would be allowed to record conversations in which she talks about the abuse?
Give her number and addresses to women's shelters. Sometimes women don't get out because they don't know where to turn to in an emergency.
I don't know much about US law but if YOU called the police, gave them pictures and possibly other evidence, wouldn't they have to investigate?
Call the DA, find out why they never went ahead with their own investigation after she didn't press charges?
Don't be passive and wait for the next incident, it might be the last one...and any help could be to late.
Thanks, no DA did not go on with their own investigation but I am going to call and find out. I want to get OK from my sister first before I take any action. Actually incident happen on Friday morning and since it's long week end may be they did not look into it.
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you did right thing by staying calm and talking with your words and not fists. a real man thinks through a situation before he acts... exactly what you did. you asked, got info, then acted. good job!
i'm happy she is out of the situation... you will need to reinforce to her daily what a good life she has ahead of her. refrain from throwing in "without him" or anything derogatory regarding him, keep focus positive and on future... she's had enough negative.
keep in mind many women go back, maybe because of the years invested, the love they hold for the person when he is not being abusive, whatever the reason just remember dont say negative things about him because it can make her feel defensive/protective of him ... you do NOT wnat to drive her back into his arms. and if soemthing happens that she does go back (there's always chance he can get counseling and they could end up back together), you do not want her to feel you are agianst him/them as a couple. really it doesnt sound like you are because you thought their marriage had a chance... hate his actions, not him, and any negativity needs to be directed at the actions, never him personally. he can change the way he behaves.... if he chooses.
best wishes for you, your sister, her child, the whole family.
Nab thank you. No, I never did said anything negative about him to my sister and I would not do it because I want the best life for her like any brother would. She still has bruises after 3 days and no human being would do such coward less act to a defenseless women.
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It sounds like everyone wants to be the policeman and hero in this situation. Based on what? someones allegations? Why is everyone ready to ruin another persons life without evidence or at the minimum hearing the other side? Maybe the woman is provoking the situation or worse yet maybe she is the abuser. Maybe she abuses him emotionally or physically. Some women are very good at manipulating the system and the system along with public sentiment goes right a long with. It is pathetic that a society will forgo finding a just conclusion only to satisfy their desire to be a policeman and a hero. The "heros" themselves have become the abusers.
I have seen it happen to other men. The laws should be changed to give the accused a fair opportunity and the accuser should bear the burden of proof. The current system is extreme feminism at its best.
She is not abuser and she never took advantage of the law but she could have and filed charges against him but she didn't. We went by his house and I asked him if you loved my sister and if he wanted to be with her and his answer was no he didn't want her so I told her to get her stuff and she moved in with me. It's his loss or gain he got what he wanted.
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i agree! forget about immigration, get him out of the home!
when she doesnt press charges she ties the hands of the people who can help her
if she does get him out of home:
restraining orders are worthless (it's just a piece of paper, not a gun or other form of "protection"), but still, get one. if he violates it and doenst kill her, that's another charge that can be brought against him. she needs to have a plan in mind for if/when he shows up on her doorstep... cops are not there to "protect", they are there to take picture of your dead body at crime scene.
she needs to understand, many people are killed by their significant other... and she is no exception. many people think "s/he wouldnt do that to me"... but she probably also thought he'd never beat the heck out of her, right?
if they have children she needs to protect them. soemtimes that's not enough to wake up an abused person to reality. so, make her realize if he is also abusing the children, and she knows, and allows it to happen, she can also be charged. both the parents will be in jail while children go to CPS.
do some research about domestic violence and be there for her but know that she will not leave (or throw him out) till SHE is ready... maybe that will be when she sees soemthing on tv that clicks with her, or he beats her to near death, or he begins to abuse the children... something will trigger it and eventually she will leave. dont isolate her, no matter what she or her husband) does or says ALWAYS let her know you are there for her so when she is ready she knows she has a place to go and soemone to turn to. dont be judgemental or she wont want to reach out to you, just be there for her. call her daily, and drop by whenever you can.
wishing you the best outcome.
I don't want to interfere in the personal matter but I can not see someone hitting her. She does not want to divorce because of they have son together but that does not give him coward excuse to lay hand on women. I think it's best that I take some of my old family member and sort it out for good. I could go and break his hand that he used to beat my sister but I don't want to do anything because I feel like he is still part of our family and want to give him one last chance. I really appreciate all your guys advice.
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something many people dont realize... abusers dont just start beating you, they work on your self-esteem first, so that you will take the abuse. this may take days, weeks, months, or even years. they will verbally "down" you, i.e. "you cant do anything right". they may have anger outbursts, and then blame you i.e. "if you werent so stupid/incompetent/etc they wouldnt get so angry".
they may destroy your favorite things around the home, they may even threaten to harm a pet. they wil humilate you, isolate you from your family and friends (this is a HUGE red flag in any relationship and the beginnings of making you completely dependent upon them). they may make you quit your job, take your vehicle, take your cellphone.
the beginnings of physical abuse they may poke you or grab you too tight or tower over you to intimidate. some may throw things, break things... key is the violence escalates.
each of these steps takes time, depending on how quickly the abused person becomes "under control". once thoroughly "beaten down" mentally, the physical abuse will escalate. when you say he has beaten her, it is very likely that she has been enduring abuse from him for months or even whole time they've been together. definitely her mental state would be that she would be too ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone so if she is exposing this then she is beginning to look for help. still, that may take time to break that mindset... see if you can get her out to do things that make her happy and bring her joy, get her out around people, get her back in contact with old friends, let trusted family members know what is going on and ask them for help in boosting ehr self-esteem... once that comes up she will find the strength to leave.
Thanks you nab and I want thank all the other kind people on this forum.
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Hey All, I have brother-in-law who is abusing my sister without any respect for other human being and not having any concern for his child's mom. Mom sister and his mom does not get alone because my sister grew up here and her mom does not allow her going out shopping or leaving house to enjoy little life because she works full time. She is Registered Nurse and is well educated but she is having to deal with these very uncivilized, cruel and heartless people. As me being her brother I want to help her but really don't want to do anything stupid because he is my sister's husband (but I am so raged and don't want act out of emotion). My sister has to call the police this time on him because he beat her up really bad. However, she still did not file any charges against him because she still does not want any trouble. He came in here on my sister's spousal visa. It's been few years and now he is US citizen because after 5 years you stay here you can become US citizen. Is there anywhere in oath or clause where it says that you will loose your US citizenship and kicked out of house if you misuse your stay here (Specifically domestic violance or using violence against person who petitioned you)
Thank you
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Here is her user id indianbride I got my case complete at NVC in Aug.
Thanks!!!
Sponsoring mother-in-law
in Bringing Family Members of Permanent Residents to America
Posted
All, I have bad news to share my MIL tried visitor visa twice and they rejected her both time. The lady told her that we had enough people from my side of the family and she did not needed to go there. My In-Laws had hired immigration agent that did all the paper works for them and in that he showed the reason that my MIL was going there to be with my wife and support her during the pregnancy. I did not see the comment here from Jojo92122 and now it's too late. Thanks Jojo and I should have told them before hand but got really busy here at work and forgot to tell them this main reason.
So, here I am again
hope that VJ can come to my rescue.
Does the embassy keeps your previous file (etc. reason for visa....), what I am going with is that can I have both of them try now for tourist visa and not mention anything about her daughter's pregnancy. Also, is it up to you what embassy you want go for your interview or that is based on your resident location (state you reside in)? What other avenues that we have so they can see the birth of their grandchild? Thank you so much all for sharing your knowledge and experience. Love