clueless_in_usa

I have a question for experience RUBers regarding Valentine's day:

Should I buy my wife gifts and flowers on Sunday, February 14th, or should I better wait until Monday, March 8th?

So ... did the OP find "friends with Russian wives?"

Of course. I have a friend...well...it's along and effed up story. But one of her fiances is in Kiev, actually. And she basically refuses to even entertain the idea about him here, because she'd actually have to provide for him lol. Even if that was for a month or two.

That's FSU girl right there

This quote reminds me of what my wife answered when I asked her what she liked the most about her relationship with me ...

... she said: "when I was in Russia I always had to take care of everything; the bills, cooking, cleaning, going to the supermarket, and everything about normal life, even when I had a boyfriend living with me."

I guess that she will be happy to stay with me as long as I have a job to take care of everything for her

Jog her memory then, she must've misread the guide for RUB fiancees

I'm actually quite serious... Daria found a website that literally has a timeline for when to leave your husband and all that fun stuff...

I did not wait for any of her Russian friends to give her advice. Instead I told her pretty clear the two stages when she can leave me and still get legal residence in the USA ... and I assured her that I will help her on any of those two stages (after AOS, or after ROC) if she makes such decision ...

... unfortunately for the men who want her to leave me, she could care less about the GC (except that she wants to work soon) and our marriage is stronger and happier everyday (lucky me )

Was anyone asked at a POE to show an X-Ray photo made during medical exam, or it can be put into a suitcase?

POE does not care about more than what is inside the sealed envelop.

Why does it have to the SO's home country?

It could easily be anywhere else in the world. For example, Australia (and Canada) will give you a resident visa if you are willing to establish roots there with your family ... and if you have a professional degree that they can use by employing you.

I have friends living "legally" in Canada, Panama, and Australia with their families, just because these countries decided that it made sense to give residency to these qualified applicants.

For me, it is the same. If the USA does not appreciate my family, I will quickly leave and will not look back. Other countries will receive me with Open Arms! (maybe not Russia, though).

Yeah, my passport has ALWAYS been stamped upon arrival in the US.

One time I came back to USA, the CBP officer and I had the following conversation:

I: Please choose a used page of the passport to put the stamp

CBP: I do not stamp American passport unless you ask me to

The last few times I have not had to say anything. They only stamp the customs form.

I'm not a passport expert but let me mention that passports are stamped when entering a country, so I wonder how juggling passports coming and going to Russia will work out? I mean, will the USA POE agent question the absence of a stamp in the USA passport?

As long as you declare every country you visited on your Customs form, nobody is going to question why you do not have a stamp from such or such country on your passport.

It is NOT illegal to have two, three, or more passports in the USA. CBP officers are not stupid and they know that people who have them use different passports according to the country they visit.

In fact, this warning can be found on the State Dpt. website:

However, dual nationals owe allegiance to both the United States and the foreign country. They are required to obey the laws of both countries. Either country has the right to enforce its laws, particularly if the person later travels there.Most U.S. citizens, including dual nationals, must use a U.S. passport to enter and leave the United States. Dual nationals may also be required by the foreign country to use its passport to enter and leave that country. Use of the foreign passport does not endanger U.S. citizenship.Most countries permit a person to renounce or otherwise lose citizenship.

it really doesnt matter you can travel with either one of your passport as long as you are not staying for more than 30 days but for me i will use my US passport it is the fastest way to check in and check out to any countries

It MATTERS!

If you try to enter Russia with a US passport, you need a valid visa, and as I copied above, you cannot obtain a visa to Russia if you have a Russian passport too.

It does not matter in other countries, but it does in Russia. Besides, there are countries that are more welcoming to Russians than Americans. So it is wise to travel with two passports.

I do not believe you can exit Russia on a different passport than you entered on. (somebody correct me if I'm wrong please.)

Also, if you hold dual citizenship (which it seems you do), you should be aware that traveling into Russia on your US passport puts your Russian citizenship in jeapardy:

http://www.travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_...s/cis_1006.html

Last time I read, a Russian citizen cannot get a visa to Russia. Therefore, it is mandatory to use the Russian passport.

There are five moments you need to show your passport, so this is what you do:

1) Airline check-in in USA: you show both passports, because you need to prove that you can live USA without I-94 and enter Russia without visa

2) Passport control Russia (entering): you only show your Russian passport.

3) Airline check-in in Russia: you show your American passport only. They may ask to see your Russian passport too, to make sure that you can leave Russia

4) Passport control Russia (leaving): you show only your Russian passport.

5) Passport control (CBP) at POE in USA: you show only your US passport.

In summary:

It is OK and some times required to show both passports to airline

It is mandatory to show only the passport of the corresponding country at any passport control.

EDIT: (From the Russian Consulate):

Applicants who used to be citizens of the USSR or of the Russian Federation and then emigrated from the USSR or from Russia must submit one of the documents which confirms that they are no longer citizens of the Russian Federation (so called "Visa to Israel" or stamp in their passport saying that they left for "permanent residence abroad" before the 6th of February, 1992 or official document certifying that their Russian citizenship was renounced), otherwise the applications will not be accepted.

How about 21 Allas? I bet you'd cave!!!!

My problem is that she is too perfect. The number does not matter (besides, I would have a heart-attack if I tried with more than one woman, any woman). Satisfying such a perfect woman has to be hard work, and at my age, I prefer the peace of mind rather than perfection.

That is why I love my wife: she is imperfect, as I am ... and she loves me too, despite the long list of imperfections I have

I cannot believe that some people turn this into some sort of serious conversation. Maybe we should have a forum that allows humor.

For what it is worth, Alla never smoked, drinks very little, eats a healthy diet, has a figure like a 16 year old despite being a grandmother, and rarely sits for one than a few minutes at a time. In addition to being a student full time, part time translator, interpreter and model she rides horses twice a week and goes skiing every Saturday in the winter, swimming every day in the summer and ice skating maybe one day per week, her favorite place being Parc LaFountaine in Montreal.

Maybe it is because she is not a couch potatoe, doesn't own a TV and cares about her health. Just maybe. Can we lighten up a little now? Sheeesh

I am starting to believe that Alla is a super-woman.

You are a lucky man ... but I would not change my wife for 20 Allas, though.

Are you serious, Gary? Perhaps Alla has taken care of herself well and looks great, but there's a lot of women who look far older than their American counterparts. Think about it: harsher life in general (although not as harsh as it once was), worse healthcare, more smoking and drinking, etc. Perhaps you just didn't see these women, because you were only paying attention to ladies like Alla. Or you just thought they were older than they were. Or maybe Ukraine is really different.

I've heard people say that Russian women (and other Europeans) look better in youth, but American women end up aging less rapidly.

I have seen Eastern Europeans living in the USA age more rapidly too. So, it is not only the harsher life.

White skin exposed to the sun constantly ages more rapidly.

Meh, I've used that "trap" to my advantage many times (plumbers, electricians, etc) But then again, I 90% of that ####### IS a trap.

But Russian community here (no matter the city) really has no correlation whatsoever to how we, russkies, are. In terms of statistics - that's a major F up.

I'm not sure anyone is gonna make sense of what I just wrote, but it's 7 am and I needs some sleeps, so incoherent stuff will be corrected later

One thing I have noticed about other Russians in the USA (not all, but many) is that they do not like to see a Russian girl married to an American man, so they try to brainwash the girl to get out and "take advantage" of the relationship.

Why is it their business who my wife married?

Evilmonkee is right-- it's the I-751. That's what I get for hastily passing over form names.

Yeah... it took us about 1.5-2 months to have an appointment scheduled.

I am surprised! My wife's appointment for biometrics is today and her NOA1 says January 7th. She received her appointment notice just one week after NOA1.

However, this is for AOS and EAD, not ROC.

So what am I missing here?

I think the answer is intent.

The intent of a B2 visa is tourism

The intent of a K1 visa is marriage

One mostly guarantees AOS, while the other does not.

:rofl: :rofl:

That stuff just cracks me up. I've been married 4 years now and she still is concerned I'll find another woman. Why would I look around when she keeps me happier than I've every been. But, I love the fact she thinks other women would want me. Maybe she's thinking there are a lot of Russian speaking women available here.

Still looking forward to part III and some explanation about the lady on the plane.

It is my experience that once MOST (not all) Russian women arrive to the US, they change their attitude and are no longer interested in "old, fat" guys like SOME of us ...

... when I was searching for a partner a few years back I wrote to a Russian woman living in New York. She responded something like:

"you need to search for women of your type. Getting a Russian woman is not that easy"

I guess not! :rofl:

I have read so many "they did not let her do the interview in Russian" statements that I have to chime in. My, now wife, made it clear that we communicated mainly in Russian, because her knowledge of English left much to be desired, so she had her interview in Russian ...

... but she told me that the CO spoke Russian so bad that it was difficult to understand her even in Russian.

All questions were about me, and no problems with a large age difference. They never asked if I met her parents. They did keep all the evidence we provided (except for originals) and did not ask for anything more. The evidence was organized in sections, so my wife gave all the packet for the CO to browse at will. No emails or chats. Just a phone bill showing how often I called her.

It may have helped that I was there (in Moscow) just after the interview was scheduled. And I included a two-page letter explaining the evidence and the way we communicated (no story about how we met or other toucy-feely BS).

That was it! She passed the interview with flying colors.

Can you even get a drivers license without AOS? I know you can't in California, we tried. Maybe other states have looser requirements.

My state only requires an SSN. They assume that the government has already checked your legal status when given an SSN.

I don't know the finer points of the law, so I don't know if "suspicious person" would be acceptable to a judge, but I kinda don't think it would fly. I won't argue that police don't abuse their power, because they do. But in the legal sense, there must be "probable suspicion" to detain and search. And in cases where there's some real crime going down, cops know to be careful. If they perform a Terry stop on a person where they can't demonstrate probable suspicion, then anything they find on that individual might be thrown out in trial.

Back in the day, when I was about 18, I was just walking along the street with friends, and Denver's finest pulled up and started checking our ID's. Of course all of us complied immediately, except one of our friends, who was 3-4 years older and had been arrested a couple times before on possession charges. He refused to provide ID, the cops got pretty irate with him and we were sure he was going to jail, but eventually they realized they weren't going to intimidate him into giving it up so they just let us go. Turned out just to be some bored assh*le cops on a fishing expedition, but that's when I figured out that the po-po just hope that you don't understand your rights. Understand your rights, even in the face of a policeman screaming in your face, and you're much more likely to get out of a situation where you might have otherwise come off badly in. In my friend's case, running his ID might have shown he was on parole (I can't remember if he was or not), which might have given them "reasonable suspicion" to search him, which might have uncovered the dime bag he was probably carrying.

Non-citizens are more obliged to cooperate than USC's, but even they have rights under the law, including the right not to be unreasonably detained and/or searched. I hope everyone here has instructed their spouses and fiance(e)'s in what to do if they're stopped.

The bold statement above is the most important lesson for foreign spouses: "don't be intimidated! Never!"

Let me tell you about my "running with the law" in Mississippi. I was harassed, but I did not let myself be intimidated.

I used to live in a state that did not support the confederate flag. I had rented a vehicle in Florida, which I drove to Mississippi. Imagine my surprise when three police cars surrounded me and they told me that the registration tags did not belong to the vehicle I was driving. However, the rental agreement had the proper numbers. Because of that, the police had the "probable cause" to search me and my vehicle. Despite that, they "asked" for permission to search the vehicle, to which I agreed (I did not know my rights well enough then). Anyway, they searched everything I allowed them to search.

Later on, after they did not find anything, one of them tried to harass me and asked:

"What is a person with a license from another state (very far from Florida) doing in Mississippi with a vehicle licensed in Florida?"

To which I answered:

"Last time I checked, it was not illegal to do so."

At this point I was let go, but not before the disappointed (because they had nothing to arrest me on) policeman gave me a warning: "I recommend you to leave Mississippi quickly because next shift of policemen will question you the same way if they see you

What a hospitable state! Despite that, my immigration status was never a question. A proper ID (state license) had been provided.

"Suspicious person" seems to be a pretty good cause for terry stop. Loitering, disturbing the peace, etc., have all been valid reasons as well.

As for not having an obligation to provide ID, see above. As soon as you assert your right to not produce ID, that's when it goes from a simple "terry stop" to one of the crimes listed.

But the question in regards to AOS is what's the proper ID?

If a foreign national is able to acquire a State ID (driver's license or other), that should be enough to satisfy the ID requirements. No need for Passport, I-94, or even Marriage Certificate. Therefore, no need for AOS. A police officer cannot force an individual to shoe immigration status papers if the "proper" ID was provided.

Even on a Terry Stop, that is what it boils down to. Passport and other important documents can be kept safely at home. Those were checked by the state when the state ID was procured.

For a K1 entrant without AOS, passport + I-94 is the proper documentation.

What I want to know is who gave the right to the Police to detain anybody they suspect is a foreigner who does not show proper immigration documents. Once a person shows a state ID, s/he should be free to go, unless s/he is accused of a crime. Like I said before, how is any police going to know that I am a USC when I do not carry my US passport with me anytime? If they ever try to arrest me, they'd better be prepared for the consequences, because I am prepared to raise hell, if necessary.

I found this in Internet, about your rights:

"If an immigration officer stops you on the street and does not have a warrant, he/she may not arrest you unless he/she has evidence that you are a non-citizen. Do not share what your status is. If the officer keeps trying to ask you questions, you can ask, “Am I free to leave?” If the officer says yes, then walk away. If no, then continue to answer with “I want to speak to a lawyer.”"

Or better this:

What to Do if the Police, Immigration or Other Authorities Stop You

You have the right to be free from unlawful searches and seizures

You have rights as a pedestrian.

What to do if you are approached by the police or immigration agents on the street:

1. You have the constitutional right to remain silent. You have the right to remain silent even if you are asked questions about your immigration status. They cannot arrest you without "probable cause" (a good reason to believe you have committed an offense). Always remember that you have the constitutional right to remain silent, regardless of your immigration status.

2. It's not a crime to refuse to answer questions, but refusing to answer might make the police suspicious about you. What to do if you are asked to identify yourself:

If you have valid identification that does not reveal your immigration status, then show it.

Can you guys think of why it is inappropriate beyond this gut feeling?

I will tell you why it is inappropriate ...

I am married and my best friends are mostly girls. I love them all ... like my sisters, even though some of them are my ex-g'friends. My wife is fully aware of all of this and does not object to my talking to them or even having dinner with one of them (my friend asks my wife for permission to have dinner with me if my wife cannot come).

However, one thing is to be in contact with my best (female) friends and another is to use one of my few vacation days a year to hang out with my friend(s) ALONE, instead of saving such rare time to enjoy with my wife (and this is even if my friends are males). If I ever told my wife: "I am going to use one week of my limited vacation time to live with my female friend ... EVERY YEAR!" she will certainly feel the urge to hang me up when I return.

The only continuous time I spend away from my wife is when I travel for work or when she goes to Russia to visit her family and I cannot go with her. Otherwise, I am her PRIORITY and she's mine. As such, the only vacation plan that is appropriate to make is WITH EACH OTHER.

Otherwise, we should not be married ... and she is 100% clear about that, because the sword cuts both ways.

So by this logic, any of us can be stopped by a local police and be escorted to the station. I highly doubt anyone carries their passport on them (hell, lots of people don't even have one). So same for you and I, we just have a valid state DL on us.

I just do not see the need for anybody to carry anything other than the driver's license. On a trip to Montreal, I was pulled over by a cop in Vermont (of all places), just five miles from the border. I don't look like a typical American. Due to my speaking a few different languages, I also do not speak like a typical American (very few people believe me when I say that I am a USC). However, my status in the US was the last thing in the trooper's mind (he just wanted to make sure that I was not drunk). In fact, the trooper decided to give me advice about where not to leave my car in Montreal for it not to be stolen

I think that those cops just wanted to spend more time with those women.

I had more problems in Mississippi than five miles from the border with Canada. Despite that, even in Mississippi my status in the US was not questioned. The biggest worry these cops had (five cops in three different cars) was when I was going to leave their sacred state

I've had my runnings with the law in seven different states. Despite that, not even once have I been asked to show an ID, other than my driver's license. I am not so attractive for the cops to want to spend extra time with me.

I assume more is better but did somebody meet just once, sent the petition and was approved with no problems? Thanks!

TWO!

Because the first time I forgot to make her sign all the papers before I returned home. I was not informed about what was needed to undertake this process. Second time I was!