clueless_in_usa

Make sure you find a long term residence in Frankfurt for your fiancee, because if they treat every case like they have been doing with my fiancee, your girl will not see her passport again for weeks.

USCIS will approve her ROC no matter what you do. Your letter won't affect anything. Lawyers even brag about never losing such a case. So just make sure you are never close to her or she'll have you arrested no matter that you do nothing to her.

There is nothing else you can do. She might even get approved without interview if you had an interview at AOS.

Good luck, and be careful.

Studying/working/living in the UK (especially in Manchester)... at least for a couple of years was my long lasting dream. I had to give up on that one though.

Why Manchester specifically? Have you ever been there?

In my opinion (very personal opinion) Manchester is no more than a very big mall.

If I decided to put up with the crappy weather all year-round to live in the UK, I would choose a place like Edinburgh instead.

Leave Spain for last, because I have a feeling that once you visit you are going to want to stay. I tried staying in Barcelona, but God wanted me to meet my wife instead, so I had to return to USA after running out of money because of seven months without a job. If I had "my job" in Barcelona, I would move tomorrow, even if my wife never gets the golden American passport that so many people treasure.

We actually debated living in Russia. Since she already finished her degree and I was still in school plus her being fluent in both languages led to are decision to live here. We have had numerous friends move back to Russia because they had a better life there. The difference is I met a russian women by chance who had a great life in Russia and because we fell in love is why we decided to live in the usa vs. a desperate guy who can not find a wife because of his lack of an education messing up ect meeting a desperate girl on the internet who messed up and can not handle life over there due to not having and education messing up ect... This may come to a shock to you but there are very many russian women who prefer living in Russia. Try meeting a real Russian woman. And trust me the U.S.A is not as great as you think it is.

The more I read, the more questions I have for this "expert."

Let me see ... how many countries around the world have you visited? And of those, how many have you "lived" in during more than three months? I am going to give you my answer to the second question only, because I bet that it is more than the number of countries you have "visited:" five (5).

How many languages do you speak fluently, or at least how many languages can you get by with? You are extremely educated and I am a loser, so you certainly speak more than three perfectly.

Oh! And regarding "formal" education, you certainly have your PhD already. Am I right? You cannot imagine how much I wish I had gotten such highly coveted education. Despite that, dare you compare resumes? Remember, I am just a "desperate guy who can not find a wife because of his lack of an education messing up ect meeting a desperate girl on the internet who messed up and can not handle life over there due to not having and education messing up ect..."

Try telling my wife that she is not a real Russian woman, just because we met in Internet and she was desperate to move to a country she would love to leave tomorrow if I agreed with her to move back to Russia.

I am a us born citizen and I have been to cities in both Alaska and Russia. And Alaska is probably the biggest Shi*hole I have ever been to. You could not pay me to live in your shi*hole. And by the way you have probably never been to Russia. Personally would love to live in Russia someday. And seriously who meets their wife on myspace? ROFL

What is the problem with meeting my wife on MySpace, Facebook, or their Russian equivalents Moi Mir or Vkontakte?

Does doing so make me any less of a man than you are?

Please explain your motivation to denigrate people who do not follow your standards, without first checking up whether your information is actually accurate.

People mentioned the word "#######-hole," but comments like that bring to mind another ".hole" word.

OP, since you're both engineers, will you be able to work for only 6 mos at a clip and have a job to come back to, or will you have to find new employment each time you move?

I'd wait until your wife has citizenship, so she doesn't risk losing her gc. I do realize you're allowed to stay out of the country w/ a gc for a certain length of time, but I'd play it safe, and stay here until she gets citizenship.

Like I said before, nothing would happen unless she secures a second passport first. I know the rules very well, so no question about that. The question was more like: "if we decided to do this, would it be a good idea?" Now I know that opinions differ.

To those who consider Russia a hole, I wonder how extensive their international travel experience is. The majority of people around the world don't have the privilege life that most of you are lucky to have here in the USA. But just because they are not as lucky, we don't have to insult them and their environment.

In terms of work, we are thinking that I could find medium term (6 to 12 months) contracts when we are here and she could find temporary jobs when we are there. However, we need to be prepared for those times when reality does not match expectations.

I opened up her photos and man she has maybe over 1000 pictures of HERSELF in there. There must be at least 6-8 different places, Thailand, Jamaica, Kiev, DR, and some I can only guess. I saw our 2 trips, not one photo of the two of us anywhere. I know she's a camera fiend (everywhere we go - take picture!) All I could think of was how much I hated taking those 400 pictures on our March trip and under protest, she only got about 150 on this trip. AND, those other poor bastards that took all those other photos! And the money they spend taking her on trips, although thank god none were during our time since meeting, so that made me feel good. lol.

Maybe she was able to complete all those trips for free by joining a site like THIS

As an example, this woman. Or this one, who guarantees a great time traveling together.

Wow, I started this discussion a couple of weeks ago and the replies back were certainly of interest. After reading and thinking things over, I began to become very skeptical of my fiance. We just completed a trip together for a week in Mexico, and I will say, it was a disaster. I think I went in with this in the back of my mind: am I being used or does she really love me. She's led me to believe that she's really not the type of woman to show lots of emotion, such as the typical feelings you have at the beginning of a relationship (can't get enough of each other, wanting to kiss and screw all the time, smiling at each other, your heart skipping a beat when you see each other, etc). Even though I thought her behavior was odd, I accepted it and wanted to be open minded.

Anyway, the week was filled with fighting. It would start with her making me feel like I was always annoying her. I would eventually get pissed, because, #######, we're here together, no one should feel like that. All I was trying to do was know her better, and create a stronger bond or whatever. I've been married before, and have many relationships over my 46 years, so I can say with certainty, this was the strangest way to ever be treated. She's very good at turning the situation around to make me feel like I'm over reacting, or as she puts it "drama". I've learned she's pretty good at this.

Anyway, all week long she's checking her email and facebook page from my laptop. Not just once a day, but 5 or more times. That really isn't so unordinary I guess, but I still thought it was something that made me uncomfortable. At the end we parted, made up for the fights, got laid (although I've never seen a woman run so fast to shower after sex in my life, does sperm eat through Ukrainain skin or something? anyways...) When I got home, I opened up my laptop and her facebook page was still open and online! Holy #######, I said, this is not right to look and besides it's in Russian which I know not how to speak, but I was still curious. I opened up her photos and man she has maybe over 1000 pictures of HERSELF in there. There must be at least 6-8 different places, Thailand, Jamaica, Kiev, DR, and some I can only guess. I saw our 2 trips, not one photo of the two of us anywhere. I know she's a camera fiend (everywhere we go - take picture!) All I could think of was how much I hated taking those 400 pictures on our March trip and under protest, she only got about 150 on this trip. AND, those other poor bastards that took all those other photos! And the money they spend taking her on trips, although thank god none were during our time since meeting, so that made me feel good. lol. Next thing I did was discover that these wonderful computers can interpret russian facebook conversations! And my worst fears were answered, she's communicating with many men in Russia, some of the conversations are not a big deal, but there were at least three that I saw (I can't spend forever there) with talking of meeting these guys, all within the last month or so. So I apparently have my answer: Yes this girl is scamming me, and no she probably doesn't love you. A real kick in the balls but better to know now.

I know she still wants to get to the US, and get her greencard, but I know she'd never be true to me. OK, now is there anywhere here that wants to show me another point of view, something I'm not thinking of, like, no #######, it's very possible she loves you and wants to spend her life with you, she's just using facebook to fill the void when you're not there....anyone?

Against my better judgment I am going to write a short summary of my own experience, as a counter-argument to everybody else's opinions here. If my wife finds out that I am writing about our private life in a public forum, I will be in trouble for the longest time

Anyway, my wife is a very private person in regards to her relationship with me. She is also 20-something and I am 40-something. Suffice to say that our age difference is somewhere between 15 to 20 years. Due to her age, her behavior in Internet has been the biggest source of contention in our relationship. Since the beginning no photos together were allowed in Internet and she only changed her status to married a few months after our wedding and only because I asked her to do so. I know for a fact that she told anybody who asked that she did it because she wanted to be left alone by annoying men.

On the flip side, outside her Internet oddities, this is the most loving woman I have ever been with. She has many male "friends" in Internet, but she never went anywhere with anybody but me, either before or after our relationship started. I also thought that she was not proud of her husband, due to her behavior in Internet, but she makes up in private her apparent lack of emotions in public. Recently I was in the hospital and she got very angry with me because I suggested the idea to invite my mother to take care of me while she worked.

There are clear differences between my story and the story above. These differences may be the reason why I consider my relationship a success, while I have my doubts about the girl described here. When my wife is with me, she's with me 100%. No email, no vkontakte, and no phone whatsoever. I do the same when I am with her. Mi wife always worked (even now) and always refused any money offer I made. She's now my wife and it is still difficult for her to accept financial help from me.

If I were you, I would stop the dependency immediately and would observe her behavior afterwards. One thing that worked wonders in my relationship was to tell her clearly the consequences of her odd behavior in Internet. Slowly but surely my wife has matured and Internet is becoming irrelevant for her. And everyday we spend together our relation becomes stronger and better than I ever imagined.

I have to say that it was not easy, especially due to her age. For the longest time she was clueless about the damage she was causing to her marriage due to her behavior in Internet. However, the more I help her understand how I feel about some of her immature behavior, the more she commits to making her best effort to show me that I am the only man in her life and the man she wants to be very happy with for years to come.

OP: Heed the advice given to you, but remember that only you know the details of your relationship, so only you will be able to decide what is the best course of action. I would tell her clearly that she has some serious explaining to do, and base on her behavior I would slowly make decisions accordingly.

The key word being "slowly."

If I had made rash decisions in my situation based on uncomfortable behavior she exhibited when she did not know better, I would have probably missed the best months of my life so far.

I tend to lose weight when I'm in the States... But that's cause I eat a lot of seafood there and... well... live with my fiance

My wife has lost 10% of her original weight since she arrived to the USA. She cannot longer find clothes in the USA that fit her. It is a big problem for her, starting with shoes. So far the solution has been to buy clothes for girls instead of women, but that causes other issues (everybody believes that she's my daughter).

Probably it is my fault: I don't feed her often

What are her reasons for building the lives there than here?

Family!

I am older. We have none here. She has all there.

You will not be able to work legally in Russia FOR A LONG TIME. I considered it as my fiancee wanted the same when we were waiting. I decided against it as it would take longer than here.

I understand that, reason I mentioned the option for the foreign partner to stay home ... maybe taking care of the children.

What's your financial situation and your level of Russian language?

Russian is not a problem for me. Although I am a beginner, I know that I can learn the rest easily. And English is not a problem for her. She is already working here.

Financially, we are talking about this possibility to happen only when we are financially secure enough to live off only the salary of one family member. The question is, what would be the ideal threshold for "enough" savings.

What's your line of work clueless ?

I am not planning to work there, but we are both engineers.

I believe there is a minimum amount of time per year a person with a green card must be in the US. If your wife moves back, it is possible that she will loose her green card. This would of course make it difficult for her to travel back here and if you guys every attempted to come back, you would have to go back through the immigration process for her another green card. I am unfamiliar with the rules on working in Russia, or even obtaining legal permanent residence. As with everything in Russia, nothing is ever easy and the rules for such from what I understand are constantly changing.

From an economic perspective, unless you can work remotely for an American company and thus have an American salary, I would say you will be worse off financially. Even when you can work and jump through the hoops that allow this (and learn the language), employees over there are often shafted by not getting paid and what they do get paid is not very much.

My two cents worth. I understand the drive to be with your wife. I too have this for my fiancee. I hope you guys can make the best decision for you.

We know all the legal requirements related to the USA. This is only an option after the wife gets US citizenship. However, we know nothing about the legal requirements in Russia.

I don't want to work remotely for anybody. I only want to work if we are not in Russia. I am looking for advice on that necessary threshold of money to live a normal life even if we can only get one income in either country.

The wife expressed her desired to build our family in Russia instead of the USA.

Although this is not an option right now due to financial concerns, what would be the benefits and pitfalls of such a move?

What other options should we consider, like part time here and part time there?

And what if we could save enough money for the foreign partner not to have to work in the foreign country (she could work there when living there and I could work here when living here)?

Ideas? Warnings? Suggestions?

For the first while when your fiance(e) or spouse is using the international permit, you don't necessarily need them on the insurance if he or she is just "borrowing" your car. Just like you can borrow a friend or family member's car without being added to their insurance. Insurance companies may have their policies, but they are unable to enforce them and the laws governing this are probably complicated and meaningless.

But to second what others have said, when we added my wife to our insurance after she got her license, they actually gave me money back (I had paid for a six month policy up front and they reduced the premium for the balance of the policy). We didn't add another car and when we did the premium went up a little bit but that's pretty normal for adding a second car. I have no accidents or tickets on my record and neither does Marina. But to anyone who is paying a lot for a new adult driver, especially for women over 21 (24 even moreso), you should shop around. I have been quoted over $2000 for a six month policy and have the same policy at a major insurance company for under $350. Different companies evaluate risk differently. Find one that thinks you aren't a large risk.

Not having a driving history despite her age cost us an additional $200/month. And we did shop around, but the quotes were mainly similar, so we stayed with my old insurance company.

It all depends on the state you live, but expect to pay up for a new licensed driver.

Also, be careful with the companies/states were you get a low quote to hook you in, only to find out after a month that her insurance premium is actually two or three times higher because she does not have credit history, thus supposedly a higher risk driver. AllState did this to me once and I swore never to even consider them again.

So true. I have also found this true with guys who whine about "Nice Guys Finish Last" and women only want bad boys who treat them bad. Its just easier to blame women rather than to self examine their short comings or issues.

I seriously would like to know what are the particulars of my shortcomings or issues that in the USA I am not interesting for women, while in Russia, Ukraine, and other FSU countries many women, some of them very attractive and interesting, found me to be a great guy and very likeable. The only conclusion I have so far is that women here don't find me attractive, while in eastern Europe the women always took the time and made the effort to get to know the real man under the unattractive facade.

If that is the case, what should I think about the women who think of me in a negative way without even trying to get to know me?

she is beautiful and intelligent and loves me.....;

Why is the add-on insult to American women needed?

My wife loves me, like no other woman has ever loved me (except my mum) ...

... so, why is it that this young, beautiful, super-smart, and caring woman, who can certainly have almost any other man she chooses, loves me so much, but the wonderful American women don't even want to look at me?

... even when I tried my best to talk to women in this country, the answer I got was "get lost!" I don't even have American women friends. Why is that?

Is it something very wrong with me, or something not right about American women's expectations?

This is something I have always wondered and have yet to find an answer for. Fortunately, my MOB (although we met in a different way) makes the search for an answer unnecessary. I am one of those who thanks God for women in other cultures/countries.

Hey all. So Tanya and I were talking about things to bring, and she brought up her driver's license. She has a Russian driver's license, but she was asking about getting an international driver's license. She read somewhere that having an international license might make it easier to get a license here in the US. Anyone have any experience with this?

What is really important to bring for some states is a certification (official) that specifies how many years she has had a license.

My wife did not have such history and now she pays almost three times what I pay in insurance, despite having an older and cheaper car. She'll pay that much, even without accidents or tickets, for a few years. But a friend who brought her license history pays as much as I do, saving her thousands of dollars.

I think your post was a little bit rude.

I will answer you to some things you sayed.

"This woman is exceptionally insecure, and her actions and behavior and attempts to CONTROL the man have driven him further away."

Wich part says i want to control him?I am not the jealous tipe of person,if i woulded be like that i would saw the photos of his ex in his cellphone before to get married and not after.I never looked through his cellphone.

I tryed to excuse him in every possible way,and as peoaple are saying,let's say how you will excuse the fact that when i text his ex gf to sto sending him messages,rather the saying they are just friends,she start to be rude and say very bad things.

"SHE wanted a big, fancy reception, and spent beyond her means to have what SHE wanted, and now she wants a refund from him"?

You haven't read my posts...i never asked for a big fancy wedding,and as i say we had an agreement whit my fatherinlaw.

I am saying again i don't want the house,or car,i feel that i have been played by him,and what is so crazy to ask my money back?

And about your last comment of how did i saved so much money,im working since i was 17,and yes i was working like a housekeeper too...i am 27....and i mention those were my savings.

He sayed he will pay for my school,but when i got here was telling me to stop follow my dream and do a normal job.

Someone sad:

CONTROL is a heavy word in your case, and probably should not have been used. But try not to get hung up on the negativity of ONE thing and look at the positives that were said (by all) instead.

1) Try not to deal with lawyer(s) unless it is absolutely necessary. Otherwise, they will take every financial resource that is left and you will be left with a bigger heart ache.

2) Try to negotiate an amicable settlement that is approved by the judge during divorce proceedings. That is probably the most you are going to be able to recoup of your money.

3) The best way to enforce any judgment will be to come back to USA and process the divorce here.

Now my own advice:

1) You are 27 years old. Even without education, you may still come back to the USA, process the above, support yourself, and find a way to put yourself through college. It will take longer and it will be tough, but you have already been successful (in your country) in the past, so you can certainly achieve what you want

2) You are concentrating too much on what you don't have. SNAP out of it. Concentrate on all the good things you have, move on, and make the proper plan for a better future for yourself

3) You are heartbroken and it is difficult to forgive and forget, but you need to do so before you can take full control of your life and achieve all the good things you want for yourself

4) Don't ever think of going back with this guy. Once he sees what he has lost (after you move on), he may want you back. There are better fish in the sea. You'll find the right man for you in the future, but first dedicate yourself to achieving your education dream

Everything will turn out the right way if you manage to pull yourself together and live your future with a more positive attitude ... without asking "why you?"

The sooner you start your life on the right path, the sooner you will get to the finish line. Don't wait one more day! Don't waste any more time thinking why (the past)! Start moving forward again, and remember to take care of those annoying legal hurdles as soon as possible.

Up to 20K Rubles by taxi from Domodedovo

I am getting more and more horrified by the thought I will have to start my life from scratch after moving to the country of my fiance. I figured there is mostly communicaton of English-speaking petioners for fiancee visa going on here, could anyone tell me if their wives work or if their fiancees are actually going to study/work after moving and if yes, then do what? I have higher education diploma in English language and going to eventually get it evaluated but a Russian native working as an English teacher in the USA sounds at least weird... I am 30 y/o and studying at this age in my country is considered kind of.. late. How is out there?

BTW anyone knows any forums for Russian immigrants with the same probs out there? That would be so helpful! Thank you guys!

Spacegirl, my thoughts to you is to be open to whatever you can find, instead of having the expectation that you are going to land here and immediately be considered for a specific kind or quality of job. If you come with high expectations, you may be very disappointed and frustrated soon after.

Keep in mind that there are 14.5 million unemployed people currently in the USA. Many of those will have precedence over you because they have something you won't have: verifiable experience in the USA. Therefore, you will have to find a differentiator for yourself, if you want to jump ahead of thousands of candidates for a specific job; you need to offer something that is valuable for the job and that most Americans cannot offer. That's the only way you will jump to the top of the list of candidates.

My wife spent three months attending interviews and being denied jobs. She only found a job when she lowered her expectations to "whatever comes my way." She's been working there four months already and she let her work habit speak for itself, to the point that her manager is already considering her for a managerial position. Not the engineering job she was expecting and accustomed to, but a lot better than being unemployed ... and already higher on the list of candidates for other jobs.

Hi .

I'm going to visit the family in a week and very worried if i lose my green card there, do they still stamp passports at USCIS ? JUST IN CASE SOTHAT I WILL make sure that even if i lose my card i will be able to come back , any opinions? experiences?

According to the US Consulate in Lebanon ...

READ THIS

I can make 10% profit of my investment without ever leaving my bed, and I mean that literally.

But that maybe just me.

If you can do that consistently year after year, I want to know your secret.

I know nobody yet who can consistently beat the market average every year of his/her life. If you can, then you should be rich with your "secret system," and maybe even be considered for the Nobel prize in Economics.

Wouldn't that be an achievement?

Anyone have loved ones caught up in the power failures at Domodedevo or SVO ?

Sounds like it is still one helluva mess.

Unfortunately my wife had to witness it first hand. She was there Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ... and she went back to her family's. She told me real horror stories from those three days. If that had happened in the US, a class action would have been filed already.

We'll receive the new year separately thanks to that. She's now scheduled to return some day in 2011, but I'll be working again. In summary, we'll have winter vacation no more.

OP's fiance needs a place for next week, not mid January.

My point exactly: lack of advance planning!

Interview days in Moscow are usually known around two months in advance. Enough time for planning all that needs to happen.

But everybody is different. Even so, I would have paid for the safest place for my wife to stay. In other words, I would not let my wife stay in a place I would not stay myself, unless there is no other alternative.

Looks like the rate at the Crown Plaza is more like $478 not $200!

That is true, but only because it is last minute. That is common with any Western type hotel in Moscow.

But if you plan in advance, the rate is closer to $200 than $500 (try mid January). And weekends are usually a lot cheaper.

When I go to Moscow I try my best to plan in advance, especially because they ask for too many points when rooms are that expensive. It is not worth it.

Once I got a room in the Sheraton Palace (I did not have points). I paid around $150 before taxes a night (typical American rate). However, when I arrived I asked for a room for my friend and they asked me for $750. My friend stayed in a friend's apartment

Hey guys and girls. Tanya has her medical exam and interview next week, and her friend she stayed with in Moscow last time will be out of town for the two days she is there? Any suggestions on where to stay? We never had a need to get a hotel before because she stayed with her friend. She flies in to Moscow early Monday morning, and her medical exam is at 11 with the IOM. then the next morning she goes to the embassy interview at 0800 on December 7. she will then fly home after the interview in the evening. She only needs one night, so any ideas would be appreciated, or a fiancee of anyone's who can help her. we are hoping to find something cheap, but also safe for her. Let me know.

thanks.

My favorite hotel around that area is the Crowne Plaza on the World Trade Center. It is an excellent hotel but it can be out of reach for some. I never care about the price because I stay for free, using IC Hotels points. The worse part of good hotels in Moscow is not the nightly rate, but the enormous amount of taxes. Using points saves that too, reason I prefer such method of payment.

EDIT: For my fiancee (now wife) I would pay the $200 to give her a safe and comfortable place to stay, like this hotel.