ScooterMac

Yes, but not *that* quickly. Keep them refrigerated and they should be good for a week.

One shipment per week - problem solved.

Yes, but as I pointed out in the case of our family in KY, refrigeration isn't always a given in cases of extreme poverty. Neither is electricity.

Instead of food stamps, just send them food. Preferably healthy food, like fruit and vegetables.

There will be no abuse if they can't use food stamps as payment for something other than food.

The problem with sending fruit and vegetables is that both go bad quickly (unless you mean the canned variety, which isn't quite as good as fresh, but still better than cheeze-its). We have fresh fruits and veggies out for the kids daily, along with making for PB&Js. We don't get too many complaints

No...it was really rather naughty and inappropriate, I assure you!

All the more reason!

With these reports of hunger are we to assume these people are to proud to take food stamps?

If a family of 3 gets $526 per month in food stamps this family of 6 would be drawing $800- a Grand.

I too have been to some very poor places in Appalachia and it's true some of the homes are quite run down but the last time I went with a group to give out food clothes and Christmas gifts... we couldn't find enough takers and ended up dropping off a fair amount at a local food bank type place.

To be honest most people who did come, had fairly late model cars and name brand clothes... except one family in this crappy minivan.

In fact on that same weekend I was up there in Gary WV, I was approached by two church groups inviting me to come get stuff they were giving away when I was out walking around the area.

They evidently thought I was from there.

Quite honestly, I don't know if they took food stamps or not. I was there to help put an addition onto their house so the 3 older boys had a room to sleep in. I can tell you for sure that they were proud people - the father and the two older boys were quite ashamed to have people there to help them, and it was obvious that they were uncomfortable even though they acknowledged that the work was necessary. In this area, even if they were getting food stamps, it's a couple miles to the closest store and they don't have a vehicle. This family didn't have the space in their kitchen to store $800 worth of food, and with unreliable electricity, they couldn't keep much in their fridge either. The Mother was embarassed that she didn't have food or coffee to share with us, and was more embarassed to realize that we were used to using toilet paper. We'd brought our own along, because we didn't know what to expect on-site, but she felt really badly about it.

Maybe the area you were in was a "better" area than where I was helping. These people had it rough.

As for whether or not the kids at the youth center are on food stamps....again, I couldn't tell you. I'm there to help the kids during the time I have with them, not to ask questions about their parents finances. I know a lot of the local families get food from the food bank, and I'm sure at least some of them are on food stamps....but the kids don't get to decide what their family's food stamps buy and how much is provided to them. All they know is that they're hungry and there's no food for them at home.

She was like a bridezilla and she wasn't even the bride.

With 9 days to go, I officially have a "momzilla"

I know that he's having trouble adapting to me having a new lifestyle. I'm doubtful he'll come around...he has very high demands of his friends, and if he feels ignored he throws a temper tantrum and sends e-mails like these. He was actually MAD that I invited him out to breakfast on Sunday morning when I was in town last weekend. He said he didn't have money, and then hinted that he'd go if I'd pay. I told him I didn't have the money to cover him, and he invited us over after breakfast. We showed up and called his phone several times as well as his roommate's phone, and no answer. We went to my brother's house instead, where I fell asleep. When I woke up, I had a text telling me he was going to bed because he didn't feel well, and a voicemail b*tching at me because I'd invited him out for breakfast knowing he didn't have any money. His closing line was "Well, I'm about to drive over to [restaurant] and get some lunch, so I guess I'll talk to you whenever". The restaurant he went to for lunch cost more than the place we went to for breakfast!

I'm more or less over it at this point, many of our mutual friends have told me they've gotten letters from him like that too, and that he's being really self-centered, and not to blame myself. I'm excited that my friends start showing up a week from today to get ready for the wedding

False. Some housing I've seen in parts of Appalachia are definately comparable to some of the housing I've seen in Guatemala. The family we went to work with in Kentucky two years ago had 4 kids and 2 adults in a 1.5 bedroom house (the second bedroom was more like a large closet). The husband was unable to work (PTSD) and the wife gathered roots and herbs in the mountains to take into town to sell when she could get a ride. The three younger children (elementary/middle school age) were bussed to a school about 20 minutes away, and the older boy (I think he was maybe 15) had dropped out because the high school was 3-4 miles away and wouldn't send the bus into the mountains to get him there. If I remember, he chopped wood and did farm work for a family down the road. The family had little food, unreliable electricity, bad water and little in the way of clothing. They were "doing well" for the area, since they had 4 solid walls and a roof. Some of their neighbors weren't so lucky.

And while most of America doesn't see that kind of poverty, there are a lot of working-poor adults, and a lot of hungry kids. I run a youth center that's often visited by "at-risk" or "low-income" kids. The local churches donate bread, peanut butter, and jelly (sometimes other snacks) so that kids can have something to eat after school (most kids are there from 2:30-6 or 7pm). When I tell the kids that it's time to clean up a few of them run to the back and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in our cafe area to take home because there's no food at home. And these kids don't have big screen TVs, cell phones, etc. either. While poverty might not be as bad in the US as in other countries, there are still some families who are really struggling.

I make friends pretty easily, and haven't had a whole lot of issues with it. I've had maybe 3 or 4 former friends with whom a friendly relationship is no longer possible, but we're still civil to each other in public. I'm even still friends with most of my ex-boyfriends.

I was blessed, during college, to be part of a very awesome "family" of friends. These were people who I could call at 4am and tell them I was 2 hours away with a broken down car, and they'd be there to pick me up in about 2 hours and 15 minutes 8 years later, 16 will be in attendance at our wedding (two had work-related excuses, and we lost one of our crew about two years ago)...and many of them are driving several hours or flying in. While I'm sad that this one friend has decided to exclude himself, I can't overlook how lucky I am to have so many people who care about me.

This guy was a good friend when we worked together, were both single, and could spend all our time goofing off and hanging with other friends or going out for drinks after work. We worked together at a callcenter (I was a supervisor, he was a trainer) and we've lived together a few times. Fortunately (for me, at least) I grew up, graduated college, found my dream guy, found my dream job, moved to another state, and now have a whole new pile of obligations. He's worked off and on since we left the callcenter, but usually with large gaps of unemployment between his jobs. He's divorced, his daughter's on the other side of the country, he's sleepin on someone's couch, and he's broke....I know he's depressed, but he refuses to do anything to change his life, including getting counseling or a job. We just grew apart because we're living different lives, and I was willing to acknowledge that...but dang, he said some mean stuff in his e-mail =\

There is a was a whole article about this in Chatelaine last month - the friendship thing when your life is changing, getting married, having kids, moving, changing jobs whatever. I don't normally read magazines because basically they are just a bunch of ads, and since you probably don't have last month's Chatelaine this is not helpful.

I tried to search for it online, but couldn't find it. I found the site for the magazine, but not the article you were talking about

He moved away in Aug. 08, for work, which transferred him through several states before firing him. He's now back in Ohio, where we both were before he left. He isn't working (though he's looking) and has no family in the area to keep him busy. I think he's mostly bored, and he's annoyed I don't have time to entertain him. I moved back to my hometown in Oct. 08, and have settled back into family/church/community obligations that I love, but take up a decent amount of time. Last year, when he was working, he'd get mad if I called too often (I was alone in a "new" area and Spoom wasn't here yet). Now that he's not working and I'm still working, he's mad because I don't call often enough. Can't win for losing with this guy!

I've ALWAYS been overscheduled and busy - to the point that Spoom and I have an "off-night" scheduled once a week where we stay in and do nothing. Actually, the friend was informed that I wouldn't be available on that night, and then called anyway and got mad when I couldn't talk because I was helping make dinner. I've tried to work out times when I know I can call, but he doens't want to schedule out time to talk - it should be spontaneous, otherwise it's a chore.

Maybe he had a secret crush on you and resents the fact that you moved away and will be getting married?

Just a thought. Lots of guys out there harbor secret affections and cover them with a guise of "friendship only", just so they can be close to you in case something happens to your current relationship.

I'm not saying that's the case here, but I've seen it several times.

It's not the case here, though that happened with another friend of mine. Just before Spoom proposed, a dear friend of mine spent about an hour and a half pleading and begging me to believe that I was meant to be with him and not Spoom. Needless to say, it didn't go well for him. Though, like I said, that's not the case here, he's just a drama queen.

Now that's a thought Wyatt! Hmmm, I wonder...

Wonder no more....he's not interested in chicks. He came out several years ago.

Pre-marital counseling/Wedding planning stuff with the pastor tonight. Hooray?

Just sounds like he's really hurt. Sometimes when we're hurting, it's really easy to say nasty things, things we truly regret later. No doubt you're busy with everything going on in your life, and we'd HOPE that our friends would realize that and cut us some slack. Obviously this person is a little insecure, as well as feeling really left out. After the wedding is done and you're back to "normal" (whatever that means eh?) you can try and reconnect, if the relationship is important to you, and while it'll never be the same, you can perhaps forge a new one. He might or might not be interested in that, and if not...if he wants it exactly how it was, then you'll have to decide if you can do that, or if you'll have to let it go...

The thing that gets me is that we've done everything to keep him from being left out. He was going to be a groomsman in the wedding, but decided a month ago that he couldn't keep that obligation. He assured me, though, that he was going to be at the wedding come hell or high water. When I saw him Saturday, that was still the case. I'd arranged a ride for him, and found a place he could stay without having to pay anything. Short of sending him a cash prize for attending our wedding, I couldn't have made him less "left out". He's choosing to leave himself out....and, as several friends have pointed out to me in the last day or so, that's his loss.

I had to end a friendship with my college best friend (and maid of honor at my wedding) because she was displaying passive-agressive behavior towards me (i.e. unfriended me on facebook TWICE, writing overly friendly wall postings on my other best girlfriend's wall while ignoring mine entirely, didn't invite me to her B-day, etc) and was overly critical with my hubby.

Well, there's more--subtle bickering during girls' vacation to Calgary & Vegas, cuminating to being dis-invited from her Hawaii destination wedding...AFTER I PAID for flights and hotel already. I can pinpoint when her behavior started: around the time hubby and I got engaged back in Summer 2007.

I was so hurt and sad--I grieved for a couple months, then ended the relationship last November. I haven't spoke to her since.

Yeah...I mean, I don't know what this guy expected of me. I've been trying to talk to him here and there when I had a few minutes, but he said we weren't talking long enough to "connect" and he's hurt when I have to get off the phone and forget to call him back. It's not like I'm intentionally ignoring him or screening his calls - I don't get cell phone reception at either job (so pretty much from 7am - 7pm), and I don't usually get home until 9 or so, then we eat and I fall asleep on the couch I have to set reminders in my phone to do everything, because I'm so overscheduled and busy. I've tried to explain to him that as people grow, friendships change. We may not be the kind of friends who call each other 47 times a day and talk about OMG EVERYTHING!, but that doesn't mean we're not still friends or even that we're not still close - just that we're grown ups with our own lives to lead.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the whole thing. I asked him for times when he would be available where I could carve a half hour or so out of my schedule to call and just talk to him undistracted, but he replied with some snarky comeback about how my life is so busy that he's sure I won't have time. Then he tells me that he misses me and wants me to be his best friend again. I don't understand how those two sentences follow each other.

Vent of the day:

A groomsman, who was the first of my friends to meet Spoom, stepped out of his role as a groomsman about a month ago stating financial concerns. We were sad he wouldn't be able to be in the wedding, but found a replacement for him.

Yesterday, he sent me a message on facebook (?!) telling me that since I can't talk to him for at least a half hour 2-3+ times a week, my effort in our friendship is subpar and that he won't be attending the wedding. Basically, he friendship-broke-up with me over facebook. Lamezilla. I explained to him that right now I'm working a 12 hour a day job 5-6 days a week, planning a 200+ person wedding, and that I have familial, community, and church obligations after my 12 hour workday ends. My bridal shower was 2 weeks ago, and we haven't even opened stuff yet because I haven't been home enough to do so. I'm frustrated with the whole situation - some of my best friends and I don't speak for weeks at a time, because we know the other is busy with life and relationships and children, etc. - that's just how life goes. Friends don't need to know what the other person ate for lunch, y'know?

Then, one of my bridesmaids called me and told me she'd totalled her car in a really bad wreck. She's okay and her kid's okay, but the car isn't and she's not old enough to rent one.

*facepalm*

Wedding favors are done! I'll have to get a picture of them so I can show you guys

We have metal heart shaped cookie cutters with a recipe card with our name and wedding date, as well as my great-grandmother's cookie recipe. My Great grandma was born in 1910, and was 73 when I was born...she watched me every day from the time I was 6 weeks old (when mom went back to work) until I graduated high school. By the end, I was more helping take care of her, but we were still together. She died a few years ago, but she was the matriarch of our (very) large family, and she taught all us kids how to make her cookies. It's a special memory to all of my cousins (from my generation and the next one ahead of us) and a way to honor her in our wedding day

I always found the garter removal a strange, and embarrassing, ritual too. I also think that the cake-squashed-into-face ritual the Americans have is bizarre. I would be so angry! lol

You and I are on the same page then! I've warned Spoom that he'll die if he smashes cake in my face.

I'm not a girly girl. Because it's my wedding day, I'm actually allowing people to do my hair and nails (okay, mom's making me), and wearing a dress and I look really nice...it's the only time I've ever had my hair/nails done, and the first time I've (willingly) worn a dress in forever...I'll be darned if someone's gonna shove cake in my face!

We danced to the Pennsylvania Polka at my brother's wedding (my paternal grandfather was big into Polka), and I don't know that I've ever been to a wedding where they haven't done the electric slide/chicken dance/conga line/etc. We're more or less letting the DJ pick what to play, other than our "songs we definately want to hear" list, but we've given her some guidance as to our musical tastes. She's supposed to be a really good DJ, so I'm excited to work with her.

The one thing we're not doing is the garter toss. I'm *ridiculously* modest (hell-o, dress with sleeves anyone?) from a ridiculously modest and conservative family, and the mere thought of having my future husband rooting around under my dress in front of my entire family makes me want to die. He, thankfully, has no desire to do so (at least, in front of my family ), so we just scrapped that part.

My daughter has the chicken dance on the do-not-play list.

Not us We're doing the chicken dance, the cha cha slide, etc. We have some young kids and some teens who specifically requested we keep the "fun" dances in.

It works out, I love the cha cha slide

My only do-not-play song is Baby Got Back. I've heard it at so many weddings and it's just so out of place.

Venty vent vent:

Why is it that everyone seems to think I have nothing better to do for three or so days leading up to my wedding than entertain them and host them at my house?! Spoom and I visited our friends this weekend, and I was shocked how many of them either asked if they could (or better, two of them informed me that they were) stay with us Thurs/Fri/Sat/Some combination thereof. As it currently stands, we're in a 2 bedroom apartment, and we had 4 out-of-town guests planning on staying with us (Spoom's best man and his girlfriend, who's one of my bridesmaids, and my two brothers).

I've been informing them, as I have been all along, that there's a 35-50/night motel next to the church and that we can't put anyone else in our apartment. The reactions have not been pretty.

Is it wrong to want semi-sanity the last few days before the wedding? Am I obligated to find someplace for all these people? If I tried to accomodate all the people who've asked/informed me that they were staying with us, we'd be looking at 12+ people in a two bedroom with an OLD water heater and crappy well water.

<--goes crazy.

I got my hair done last night I think this whole wedding thing is finally starting to sink in now *lol*

We've gotten 6 inches of snow in the last 5 hours =\

We got our programs in yesterday, and I'm getting a trial run done on my hair today I have my headband and veil sitting on my desk at work! Tomorrow, we're going into town to order our rings and exchange some of our duplicate wedding shower items (and pick out some other stuff we want on our list!). Thursday, I have a bunch of thank-you notes to start on, and Friday we're going down to get our marriage liscense (I have the morning off - thank goodness my boss is Russian Orthodox and celebrates Christmas late!).

Next week my great aunt (grandma's sister) is coming in from out of town to help bake cookies, put together favors, and generally help grandma and mom stay (as) sane (as possible). We finally figured out all the song information for the wedding and are sending that, along with the final check, to the DJ tomorrow...also sending out the bill for the florist. We paid the cake lady (ohhhh excited about the cake!), and gave her last-minute detail information. Next Wednesday, Spoom has to call the hotel where we have rooms blocked and cancel any rooms remaining on our block, and contact the caterer with an exact count of people for the reception.

At some point, someone still has to pick up liquor. Not sure who's in charge of that, but I bet it's a Dad question.

Also, weren't we supposed to have marriage counseling? Why do I get the feeling Spoom and I are gonna wind up in my pastor's office the whole last week before the wedding?

So I`m on hold with RBC USA cause I still haven`t gotten my card n stuff yet... and they`re playing Christmas hold music... isn`t it like January 5th?

Maybe they celebrate Orthodox Christmas (1/7)

How does everyone make it through the rough patches? I sometimes feel like I'm falling apart.

The best way to make it through the rough patches is to focus on you guys Rent the same movie and watch it "together" over the phone or over skype, make the same dinner and talk online while you eat, stuff like that. It's not as good as the real thing, but it's better than letting the frustration you feel at your situation leak through into your relationship. Remember that you're in this together, with the same goal, and that the reward is SO worth the waiting.

Stay strong! I hope you get your interview soon!

Edit: I should also add....take some time for just you as well. Do something you enjoy and de-stress

Right after my bridal shower started yesterday, they closed I-90, I-79, I-80 and 6 (all major roads in my area). They had them opened by 8 or 9pm, but a lot of people got a VERY late start home.

Oh Erie lake-effect snow, how I love thee.

My dad says this weekend was a warm-up for the massive blizzard we'll be getting on my wedding day

Still snowing!! I've been at work about an hour and have at least an inch of snow on my car. School's closed again!