teenutty

Teenutty = Lost Pilgrim = Nutty

YES!!!! I've been having major problems lately. First I deleted my old yahoo account (which contained my NUTTY user name and password). So I created a Lost Pilgrim profile. But for some reason I can not log into it (even with password recovery). I emailed Captain Ewok and it bounced back (and just today to Charles). So to keep posting to the boards, I created a THIRD profile, Teenutty.

I am sorry for all the confusion!!!!

teenutty= LostPilgrim= Nutty?

From the photos, it not a long scraggly beard. A lot of guys in USA sport beards like that. So I would say no.

Well, my husband does not want to go to counseling. But he does not want to seperate/divorce either.

Yesterday, he asked me if I was ever going to cook again/eat again. Then cooked food (ugh!) and tried to force feed me.

I am just so filled with anger at this point. It has pushed the love out. I will more than likely still file for seperation (to protect me financially) and do the trip.

Hey guys n gals. Please leave this post in mena because I very seldom venture out of here and this group is where my friends are.

I am having a roller coaster of emotions today and just felt that you've all shared with me so now it's my turn to ask for some shoulders.

First off, we closed on our house today and had the electric turned on so we're ready to start cleaning it up to our liking and get our stuff moved in. yay for good stuff

Now here's the bad stuff....My son had to get glasses this past Monday. We found out that his right eye had moderate impairment and his left eye had compensated for so long that it was now mildly impaired. So he got glasses....

Then on to what happened today. Last week, he failed his hearing test at school, in both ears....TWICE... So I got him an appointment to see a hearing specialist. We go today and find out that he has moderate / severe hearing loss IN BOTH EARS and has to have hearing aids because it will only get worse as he gets older. We will go on Monday to have both of his ears molded for his new hearing aids.

This has absolutely broken our hearts. He barely hung on to life when he was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia and survived years of weekly transfusions of platelets, red blood cells, white blood cells..... and had to endure painful injections 4 times a day for what seemed like forever. Then he has these problems with his eyes so he gets glasses and is terrified of being made fun of...

Now this........ We have this issue with the schools hearing tests only to find out that he has moderate hearing loss in 1 ear and mod/severe hearing loss in his other ear and now has to have a hearing aid in both ears. He told me today that he is scared that people will call him a freak and say he must be stupid. My God, he's only 9 years old and all this has to happen...

I maintained my composure until I got him dropped off at his school and when I got home, I couldn't keep the tears back any longer. I just sat in my car with my head on the steering wheel and cried for like 10 minutes. He's not a normal kid. He's special in ways that one can only understand after they've met him. I think Jackie, Aymerlu, Gabi, Noura, MBP, VP, and anyone else that met him could vouch for that. It really is sad that he is going through all of this and even though I know I have no control over it, I still feel responsible and feel like it's my fault for giving him these bad genes. . . . ugggg

Sorry, I'm just really sad for him today and needed to vent where I felt I could get some support. My husband was super wonderful coz when he found out the situation he said to me "don't worry, we will care for this. I will put my trip to Jordan on hold to make sure that we can afford the best hearing machines that are not big and ugly for him" Even when he and I have our issues, these are the things that remind me why I love him so much. He didn't have to say that but the fact he is willing to put his life on hold for his step-son truely means the world to me.....

Thanks for letting me cry here.

Amal

First of all, how sweet of your husband for being so supportive and understanding!!!!

I had difficulties growing up too, especially in high school, was ostrasized and harrassed in the extreme (for a physical deformity). I won't say that I look back on my school years with any real fondness. In fact, I must have blanked a good portion of it out. BUT, a big BUT here, the thing that got me through my difficult times was the fact my mother did everything in her power to help me and got me an operation at 16. The love of good friends (yes, I had a few close friends in school who liked me despite my appearance) and my family was a source of strength. So my advice is build up your son's confidence any way you can. Be understanding, highlight his abilities and know that if you create a strong foundation he will overcome his adversities. In fact, challanges in our youth can make us stronger as adults.

So have a cry, it's ok. But don't lose hope or think it will be so bad.

Tina

LOL... thought i would take a spin off of my dear friend's S and S post. My husband was supposed to arrive tonight at 10:30 but Air morocco was an hour late and now missed their flights and instead of flying into NY he will be flying into San Fransico as his POE (I hope they're as good as NY) so not tonight but tomorrow he'll be here insha'allah.

I wish you the best!!! You must be so excited. BTW - you are very pretty in your photos.

Tina

I HAD TO RE-REGISTER Under a new profile because the "lost pilgrim" profile seemed to freeze me out (no matter what I did to get back in).

I figured teenutty is closer to my original user id anyway.

FYI - I will file for either seperation or divorce in 10 days.

My husband likes to keep a "false front" to his family back home and friends here. He is irate when I told his sister, my mother and a my friend about our marriage troubles.

Today I have written my sister in law to tell her I am filing for seperation in 10 days (if my husband agrees to counseling). If my husband does not agree to counseling I will file for FINAL DIVORCE. I told her that here in USA, I can get a divorce in 30 days and unlike the middle east, it is easy to get (even if the husband opposes it)

Is there any way that you can communicate with his mom or family about the situation? My husband's sister and brother each speak a little English so it works out well when I need to let them know things. One huge plus of MENA families (mothers especially) is their ability to get through to their sons!

My husband didn't want anything to do with counseling when he got here, but after a situation that changed his mind, he went, NOT willingly mind you. After a few sessions he said, "I didn't understand what counseling was. It's just like having another friend."

If there is any way that you could get him to understand what counseling really is (not blaming one or the other - which is what my husband thought), then maybe he'd open up to it. Also, finding a GOOD counselor is key too.

Not that he would want to, but if your husband wants to ask another MENA man about counseling, let me know. My husband would be happy to talk to him I'm sure.

I think the more modern and less religious Iranians would think your husband is a bit off. telling you he was only half-way happy with you in Iran says it all. Denying you healthcare insurance is just crazy. Separation, then running off to Thailand/India sounds like the perfect solution for you.

So Tina, are you going to just vacation and clear up your mind in India and Thailand for seven months? What's the next plan?

My heart goes out for you

I am going just to clear my mind. No work. India and Thailand are "budget friendly" (for 7 months trip, airfare, room, food, some train/bus travel - will cost about $6,000)

FYI - NEW ID (could not log into my profile)

We are both not happy now. We argue a lot.

So we had a nice, calm discussion a few weeks ago when walking through the Forest. We were talking about the option of seperating. He totally unhappy with me now. And I am totally unhappy with him. I said, "in Iran I was 95% happy with you and our relationship. Sure, I had problems there. But it was adjusting the the rules and the family pressence/lack of privacy." He said, "well, I was only 50% happy with you then."

I was shocked. What would be considered our "golden time" the first months of really living together he was never really happy with me. Only partially happy. I later asked his if this was really true and he said yes.

It has really broken my heart by this. To think that he has never truely been happy with me. Only a little happy.

How would you feel if your husband said this to you?

He has been against counseling here in the US.

However, in Iran, the few times we did argue (over small stuff) his mother pulled him aside and set him straight. Nobody is here to do that now.