RichieW

Hello everyone.
I have not been active on this site for years, but it is how I met the OP a few years back. In effort of full disclosure, I only logged in because I knew the OP had been on this site and was posting. I found this thread through searching. I met her husband on this site over 2 year ago when he contacted me here to help file K1 documentation and had some questions about the interview in Moscow. Since then our family has relocated to California (we moved here last October) and we met OP and her family in person. My wife Marina is a good friend of hers, we've had OP, her son, and husband over at our home numerous times.
I would like to offer my $0.02 for whatever it's worth. You can question my authenticity, but I can and will provide supporting evidence in private message if you so require it.
1. What she is telling is is truthful from my vantage point. Her husband appears at times to be very responsible, but it's a front for something else. I get the feeling he will say or do whatever to appear as everything is on the level, but then behind closed doors is a different animal.
2. He has stated to her that her documentation didn't need to be processed. He has given her false information that if she just waited a few years she'd automatically get permanent residency status (and be able to work etc) because of his being a member of the military. His excuse for not filign sooner and doing things the proper way was that he could avoid the fees associated with filing, and it would be automatic being a military member anyway.
3. Her husband is on multiple dating sites. My wife and I found his profile on OKCupid. He states he is a single father looking for "fun."
4. His closest friends are also the people he works with at the public affairs office. He has access to legal council, she does not. He is currently working with an LN2 officer. She has not been able to secure legal council as she does not have the funds available to do so. Earlier this week we attempted to get her access to free council, including a Catholic Center here that offers legal advice to abused women, but she was turned away.
5. On Monday of this week we sent to a VAWA center and was declined assistance because of her "legal record." He has multiple times called the police on her and had them bring her in for abusing him physically. This is patently absurd. On 1 occasion the police were called on her when she wasn't even at home. The OP is 5'9" tall and can't weigh more than 110lbs wet. She actually is so thin, my wife and I are worried about her health.
6. After she received no assistance from the VAWA on monday, she and her son spent time at our house. Her husband came home (after staying at his "friends" for the past week, leaving her with no money for food and only calling once) and noticed they were gone. He called my wife and asked if OP and her son were at our house. We informed him they were. I told him he could come over to see his son but that OP didn't want to see him and that she felt threatened by him. He said everything was fine and that he'd let it cool down for the night. The next morning he proceeded to get the sheriff involved and attempted to make it look like kidnapping. The Sheriff arrived at our home Tuesday morning and spoke with my wife. The OP was downtown trying to file for divorce. I spoke with the Sherrif at length as he called me later at my office, no charges were filed against the OP.
The fact is this man is and has been dating other women. He has repeatedly threatened to take her son away from her and deport her. He often leaves for many days at a time, leaving no food or money or means for them to get food. He has an explosive temper. He will often times show up, take the son, and use the son to go on a date with another woman (baseball game last weekend).
My wife and I have attempted to help, but quite frankly are at a loss on what to do. She's out of status in her immigration, we can't seem to get her legal representation, she has a "criminal record" (but with no charges), VAWA will not help her. We've offered OP sanctuary at our home and she's taken up on that from time to time, but she does not want to be away from her son. She's very afraid of losing the ability to see him every day.
One other thing, her English is quite good, with a surprising vocabulary. She has a very thick accent which makes her speech harder to understand than my wife's English, even though they started learning around the same time. The OP spends many hours per day reading English on her computer, my wife does not.
Just figured I'd clarify a few things. Any advice or assistance you can offer that can help better her situation is appreciated.
-Rich

Hello everyone.
I have not been active on this site for years, but it is how I met the OP a few years back. In effort of full disclosure, I only logged in because I knew the OP had been on this site and was posting. I found this thread through searching. I met her husband on this site over 2 year ago when he contacted me here to help file K1 documentation and had some questions about the interview in Moscow. Since then our family has relocated to California (we moved here last October) and we met OP and her family in person. My wife Marina is a good friend of hers, we've had OP, her son, and husband over at our home numerous times.
I would like to offer my $0.02 for whatever it's worth. You can question my authenticity, but I can and will provide supporting evidence in private message if you so require it.
1. What she is telling is is truthful from my vantage point. Her husband appears at times to be very responsible, but it's a front for something else. I get the feeling he will say or do whatever to appear as everything is on the level, but then behind closed doors is a different animal.
2. He has stated to her that her documentation didn't need to be processed. He has given her false information that if she just waited a few years she'd automatically get permanent residency status (and be able to work etc) because of his being a member of the military. His excuse for not filign sooner and doing things the proper way was that he could avoid the fees associated with filing, and it would be automatic being a military member anyway.
3. Her husband is on multiple dating sites. My wife and I found his profile on OKCupid. He states he is a single father looking for "fun."
4. His closest friends are also the people he works with at the public affairs office. He has access to legal council, she does not. He is currently working with an LN2 officer. She has not been able to secure legal council as she does not have the funds available to do so. Earlier this week we attempted to get her access to free council, including a Catholic Center here that offers legal advice to abused women, but she was turned away.
5. On Monday of this week we sent to a VAWA center and was declined assistance because of her "legal record." He has multiple times called the police on her and had them bring her in for abusing him physically. This is patently absurd. On 1 occasion the police were called on her when she wasn't even at home. The OP is 5'9" tall and can't weigh more than 110lbs wet. She actually is so thin, my wife and I are worried about her health.
6. After she received no assistance from the VAWA on monday, she and her son spent time at our house. Her husband came home (after staying at his "friends" for the past week, leaving her with no money for food and only calling once) and noticed they were gone. He called my wife and asked if OP and her son were at our house. We informed him they were. I told him he could come over to see his son but that OP didn't want to see him and that she felt threatened by him. He said everything was fine and that he'd let it cool down for the night. The next morning he proceeded to get the sheriff involved and attempted to make it look like kidnapping. The Sheriff arrived at our home Tuesday morning and spoke with my wife. The OP was downtown trying to file for divorce. I spoke with the Sherrif at length as he called me later at my office, no charges were filed against the OP.
The fact is this man is and has been dating other women. He has repeatedly threatened to take her son away from her and deport her. He often leaves for many days at a time, leaving no food or money or means for them to get food. He has an explosive temper. He will often times show up, take the son, and use the son to go on a date with another woman (baseball game last weekend).
My wife and I have attempted to help, but quite frankly are at a loss on what to do. She's out of status in her immigration, we can't seem to get her legal representation, she has a "criminal record" (but with no charges), VAWA will not help her. We've offered OP sanctuary at our home and she's taken up on that from time to time, but she does not want to be away from her son. She's very afraid of losing the ability to see him every day.
One other thing, her English is quite good, with a surprising vocabulary. She has a very thick accent which makes her speech harder to understand than my wife's English, even though they started learning around the same time. The OP spends many hours per day reading English on her computer, my wife does not.
Just figured I'd clarify a few things. Any advice or assistance you can offer that can help better her situation is appreciated.
-Rich

My wife and I have seen Sveta 3 times since she entered the shelter. I don't know where the shelter is, and I don't want to know, but I know it's close by so we see her fairly frequently lately. She's been getting around town using the bus, we often pick her up at bus stops. It's part of the rules that even close friends don't know where the shelter is. Last week she came over and we drank some wine and had some good Oggi's pizza. She seems so much better!! For the first time since I've known her I saw her smiling a lot. Absent were the dark circles below her eyes and the periodic despondent gaze evident in people that are depressed. Her son seems so much more energetic too and smiley. I left posting back post in this thread to her because I had some suspicion her husband might be reading this. I have confidence now she's getting the legal assistance she needs. She appears to be very logical about this whole thing now too, no longer engaging in the "he said this, he said that."
Things are improving.

My wife and I have seen Sveta 3 times since she entered the shelter. I don't know where the shelter is, and I don't want to know, but I know it's close by so we see her fairly frequently lately. She's been getting around town using the bus, we often pick her up at bus stops. It's part of the rules that even close friends don't know where the shelter is. Last week she came over and we drank some wine and had some good Oggi's pizza. She seems so much better!! For the first time since I've known her I saw her smiling a lot. Absent were the dark circles below her eyes and the periodic despondent gaze evident in people that are depressed. Her son seems so much more energetic too and smiley. I left posting back post in this thread to her because I had some suspicion her husband might be reading this. I have confidence now she's getting the legal assistance she needs. She appears to be very logical about this whole thing now too, no longer engaging in the "he said this, he said that."
Things are improving.

Hello all, I have an update for you.
I heard from her today. She is doing OK and is a better situation. She actually told me she's gaining a little bit of weight and was eating well. Her son is fine and I could hear him vocalizing on the other side of the phone (those of you with young kids know what I'm talking about). She's with people that are supportive and loving and she's trying to get legal representation. She has some some assistance in doing so. She does not have a lawyer yet, but suspects she will have one early next week. I am trying not to give too much detail on her situation because I have some suspicion her "husband" reads this thread. In short, she and her son are fine.
When we talked I told her what her "husband" had posted on his Facebook page, she was surprised. She said she has 30 days to respond to the papers served to her while she took her son to the doctor, and that she heard nothing to support what he's been saying.
As a quick aside, to give insight about her husband: her son was born with a heart defect and has a feeding tube placed in his stomach. For some reason he will not swallow his food and he is underweight for his age. When her son was 6 months old he needed a heart operation. OP visited him constantly in the hospital, her husband rarely if ever made visits. In-fact, the hospital staff became concerned about their situation because they never saw her husband and wondered why a new father would not visit his son. She was scolded and yelled at by her husband for making him look bad (by her visiting and him not) and told not to visit anymore because her son would be coming home in a few days. Repeatedly she was told there "was no point anyway" to a visit. This raised some red flags in her, but since this was fairly early on in their relationship, she decided to try to salvage things.
Despite some dis-believers of her story. I have quite a few stories I can tell you about this guy she's married to, I have met him personally on numerous occasions. At first I tried to approach my interactions with him as neutral because I know there are 2 sides to the story. Initially I just figured some women just like to complain about their husbands the way I see some dudes complain about their wives at work. The more I got to know him I started to really see where she was coming from, in my mind it corroborated most of the things she's told us in confidence about the abuse. Some of it still defies belief, maybe I'm naive and just have no comprehension on how someone can be so terrible. The last time she stayed at our house and his reactions to that really solidified things in my mind. Something is seriously off with this guy.
OP really is a wonderful person, and yes she is a bit naive at times. She reached out for help and got floods of information. I think it more or less caused analysis paralysis. Couple that with the fear of being separated from her son, fear of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, it became quite clear to me why she endured to situation for so long. In some ways I think simply posting about it was therapeutic enough for her to endure it longer. I actually believe that she'd endure it forever if she was 100% certain she'd never be separated from her son. Recently after discovering "sext messages" from another woman along with pictures on his phone, and him disappearing for weeks at a time, and his threats of getting her deported and separated from her son.. she had enough. In some ways her friends may have conflated the situation by urging her to do something to get out of it. (I think this is a good thing)
In any event sorry for being wordy, she's doing a lot better and is safe for now. I do not know her legal status etc other than she does not have a lawyer yet. A couple weeks ago I helped her fill out numerous documents (VAWA petition etc) but I don't know if she's sent them in yet (my guess is no).
Please have a safe holiday.

Hello everyone.
I have not been active on this site for years, but it is how I met the OP a few years back. In effort of full disclosure, I only logged in because I knew the OP had been on this site and was posting. I found this thread through searching. I met her husband on this site over 2 year ago when he contacted me here to help file K1 documentation and had some questions about the interview in Moscow. Since then our family has relocated to California (we moved here last October) and we met OP and her family in person. My wife Marina is a good friend of hers, we've had OP, her son, and husband over at our home numerous times.
I would like to offer my $0.02 for whatever it's worth. You can question my authenticity, but I can and will provide supporting evidence in private message if you so require it.
1. What she is telling is is truthful from my vantage point. Her husband appears at times to be very responsible, but it's a front for something else. I get the feeling he will say or do whatever to appear as everything is on the level, but then behind closed doors is a different animal.
2. He has stated to her that her documentation didn't need to be processed. He has given her false information that if she just waited a few years she'd automatically get permanent residency status (and be able to work etc) because of his being a member of the military. His excuse for not filign sooner and doing things the proper way was that he could avoid the fees associated with filing, and it would be automatic being a military member anyway.
3. Her husband is on multiple dating sites. My wife and I found his profile on OKCupid. He states he is a single father looking for "fun."
4. His closest friends are also the people he works with at the public affairs office. He has access to legal council, she does not. He is currently working with an LN2 officer. She has not been able to secure legal council as she does not have the funds available to do so. Earlier this week we attempted to get her access to free council, including a Catholic Center here that offers legal advice to abused women, but she was turned away.
5. On Monday of this week we sent to a VAWA center and was declined assistance because of her "legal record." He has multiple times called the police on her and had them bring her in for abusing him physically. This is patently absurd. On 1 occasion the police were called on her when she wasn't even at home. The OP is 5'9" tall and can't weigh more than 110lbs wet. She actually is so thin, my wife and I are worried about her health.
6. After she received no assistance from the VAWA on monday, she and her son spent time at our house. Her husband came home (after staying at his "friends" for the past week, leaving her with no money for food and only calling once) and noticed they were gone. He called my wife and asked if OP and her son were at our house. We informed him they were. I told him he could come over to see his son but that OP didn't want to see him and that she felt threatened by him. He said everything was fine and that he'd let it cool down for the night. The next morning he proceeded to get the sheriff involved and attempted to make it look like kidnapping. The Sheriff arrived at our home Tuesday morning and spoke with my wife. The OP was downtown trying to file for divorce. I spoke with the Sherrif at length as he called me later at my office, no charges were filed against the OP.
The fact is this man is and has been dating other women. He has repeatedly threatened to take her son away from her and deport her. He often leaves for many days at a time, leaving no food or money or means for them to get food. He has an explosive temper. He will often times show up, take the son, and use the son to go on a date with another woman (baseball game last weekend).
My wife and I have attempted to help, but quite frankly are at a loss on what to do. She's out of status in her immigration, we can't seem to get her legal representation, she has a "criminal record" (but with no charges), VAWA will not help her. We've offered OP sanctuary at our home and she's taken up on that from time to time, but she does not want to be away from her son. She's very afraid of losing the ability to see him every day.
One other thing, her English is quite good, with a surprising vocabulary. She has a very thick accent which makes her speech harder to understand than my wife's English, even though they started learning around the same time. The OP spends many hours per day reading English on her computer, my wife does not.
Just figured I'd clarify a few things. Any advice or assistance you can offer that can help better her situation is appreciated.
-Rich

Hello all, I have an update for you.
I heard from her today. She is doing OK and is a better situation. She actually told me she's gaining a little bit of weight and was eating well. Her son is fine and I could hear him vocalizing on the other side of the phone (those of you with young kids know what I'm talking about). She's with people that are supportive and loving and she's trying to get legal representation. She has some some assistance in doing so. She does not have a lawyer yet, but suspects she will have one early next week. I am trying not to give too much detail on her situation because I have some suspicion her "husband" reads this thread. In short, she and her son are fine.
When we talked I told her what her "husband" had posted on his Facebook page, she was surprised. She said she has 30 days to respond to the papers served to her while she took her son to the doctor, and that she heard nothing to support what he's been saying.
As a quick aside, to give insight about her husband: her son was born with a heart defect and has a feeding tube placed in his stomach. For some reason he will not swallow his food and he is underweight for his age. When her son was 6 months old he needed a heart operation. OP visited him constantly in the hospital, her husband rarely if ever made visits. In-fact, the hospital staff became concerned about their situation because they never saw her husband and wondered why a new father would not visit his son. She was scolded and yelled at by her husband for making him look bad (by her visiting and him not) and told not to visit anymore because her son would be coming home in a few days. Repeatedly she was told there "was no point anyway" to a visit. This raised some red flags in her, but since this was fairly early on in their relationship, she decided to try to salvage things.
Despite some dis-believers of her story. I have quite a few stories I can tell you about this guy she's married to, I have met him personally on numerous occasions. At first I tried to approach my interactions with him as neutral because I know there are 2 sides to the story. Initially I just figured some women just like to complain about their husbands the way I see some dudes complain about their wives at work. The more I got to know him I started to really see where she was coming from, in my mind it corroborated most of the things she's told us in confidence about the abuse. Some of it still defies belief, maybe I'm naive and just have no comprehension on how someone can be so terrible. The last time she stayed at our house and his reactions to that really solidified things in my mind. Something is seriously off with this guy.
OP really is a wonderful person, and yes she is a bit naive at times. She reached out for help and got floods of information. I think it more or less caused analysis paralysis. Couple that with the fear of being separated from her son, fear of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, it became quite clear to me why she endured to situation for so long. In some ways I think simply posting about it was therapeutic enough for her to endure it longer. I actually believe that she'd endure it forever if she was 100% certain she'd never be separated from her son. Recently after discovering "sext messages" from another woman along with pictures on his phone, and him disappearing for weeks at a time, and his threats of getting her deported and separated from her son.. she had enough. In some ways her friends may have conflated the situation by urging her to do something to get out of it. (I think this is a good thing)
In any event sorry for being wordy, she's doing a lot better and is safe for now. I do not know her legal status etc other than she does not have a lawyer yet. A couple weeks ago I helped her fill out numerous documents (VAWA petition etc) but I don't know if she's sent them in yet (my guess is no).
Please have a safe holiday.

Hello all, I have an update for you.
I heard from her today. She is doing OK and is a better situation. She actually told me she's gaining a little bit of weight and was eating well. Her son is fine and I could hear him vocalizing on the other side of the phone (those of you with young kids know what I'm talking about). She's with people that are supportive and loving and she's trying to get legal representation. She has some some assistance in doing so. She does not have a lawyer yet, but suspects she will have one early next week. I am trying not to give too much detail on her situation because I have some suspicion her "husband" reads this thread. In short, she and her son are fine.
When we talked I told her what her "husband" had posted on his Facebook page, she was surprised. She said she has 30 days to respond to the papers served to her while she took her son to the doctor, and that she heard nothing to support what he's been saying.
As a quick aside, to give insight about her husband: her son was born with a heart defect and has a feeding tube placed in his stomach. For some reason he will not swallow his food and he is underweight for his age. When her son was 6 months old he needed a heart operation. OP visited him constantly in the hospital, her husband rarely if ever made visits. In-fact, the hospital staff became concerned about their situation because they never saw her husband and wondered why a new father would not visit his son. She was scolded and yelled at by her husband for making him look bad (by her visiting and him not) and told not to visit anymore because her son would be coming home in a few days. Repeatedly she was told there "was no point anyway" to a visit. This raised some red flags in her, but since this was fairly early on in their relationship, she decided to try to salvage things.
Despite some dis-believers of her story. I have quite a few stories I can tell you about this guy she's married to, I have met him personally on numerous occasions. At first I tried to approach my interactions with him as neutral because I know there are 2 sides to the story. Initially I just figured some women just like to complain about their husbands the way I see some dudes complain about their wives at work. The more I got to know him I started to really see where she was coming from, in my mind it corroborated most of the things she's told us in confidence about the abuse. Some of it still defies belief, maybe I'm naive and just have no comprehension on how someone can be so terrible. The last time she stayed at our house and his reactions to that really solidified things in my mind. Something is seriously off with this guy.
OP really is a wonderful person, and yes she is a bit naive at times. She reached out for help and got floods of information. I think it more or less caused analysis paralysis. Couple that with the fear of being separated from her son, fear of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, it became quite clear to me why she endured to situation for so long. In some ways I think simply posting about it was therapeutic enough for her to endure it longer. I actually believe that she'd endure it forever if she was 100% certain she'd never be separated from her son. Recently after discovering "sext messages" from another woman along with pictures on his phone, and him disappearing for weeks at a time, and his threats of getting her deported and separated from her son.. she had enough. In some ways her friends may have conflated the situation by urging her to do something to get out of it. (I think this is a good thing)
In any event sorry for being wordy, she's doing a lot better and is safe for now. I do not know her legal status etc other than she does not have a lawyer yet. A couple weeks ago I helped her fill out numerous documents (VAWA petition etc) but I don't know if she's sent them in yet (my guess is no).
Please have a safe holiday.

Hello all, I have an update for you.
I heard from her today. She is doing OK and is a better situation. She actually told me she's gaining a little bit of weight and was eating well. Her son is fine and I could hear him vocalizing on the other side of the phone (those of you with young kids know what I'm talking about). She's with people that are supportive and loving and she's trying to get legal representation. She has some some assistance in doing so. She does not have a lawyer yet, but suspects she will have one early next week. I am trying not to give too much detail on her situation because I have some suspicion her "husband" reads this thread. In short, she and her son are fine.
When we talked I told her what her "husband" had posted on his Facebook page, she was surprised. She said she has 30 days to respond to the papers served to her while she took her son to the doctor, and that she heard nothing to support what he's been saying.
As a quick aside, to give insight about her husband: her son was born with a heart defect and has a feeding tube placed in his stomach. For some reason he will not swallow his food and he is underweight for his age. When her son was 6 months old he needed a heart operation. OP visited him constantly in the hospital, her husband rarely if ever made visits. In-fact, the hospital staff became concerned about their situation because they never saw her husband and wondered why a new father would not visit his son. She was scolded and yelled at by her husband for making him look bad (by her visiting and him not) and told not to visit anymore because her son would be coming home in a few days. Repeatedly she was told there "was no point anyway" to a visit. This raised some red flags in her, but since this was fairly early on in their relationship, she decided to try to salvage things.
Despite some dis-believers of her story. I have quite a few stories I can tell you about this guy she's married to, I have met him personally on numerous occasions. At first I tried to approach my interactions with him as neutral because I know there are 2 sides to the story. Initially I just figured some women just like to complain about their husbands the way I see some dudes complain about their wives at work. The more I got to know him I started to really see where she was coming from, in my mind it corroborated most of the things she's told us in confidence about the abuse. Some of it still defies belief, maybe I'm naive and just have no comprehension on how someone can be so terrible. The last time she stayed at our house and his reactions to that really solidified things in my mind. Something is seriously off with this guy.
OP really is a wonderful person, and yes she is a bit naive at times. She reached out for help and got floods of information. I think it more or less caused analysis paralysis. Couple that with the fear of being separated from her son, fear of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, it became quite clear to me why she endured to situation for so long. In some ways I think simply posting about it was therapeutic enough for her to endure it longer. I actually believe that she'd endure it forever if she was 100% certain she'd never be separated from her son. Recently after discovering "sext messages" from another woman along with pictures on his phone, and him disappearing for weeks at a time, and his threats of getting her deported and separated from her son.. she had enough. In some ways her friends may have conflated the situation by urging her to do something to get out of it. (I think this is a good thing)
In any event sorry for being wordy, she's doing a lot better and is safe for now. I do not know her legal status etc other than she does not have a lawyer yet. A couple weeks ago I helped her fill out numerous documents (VAWA petition etc) but I don't know if she's sent them in yet (my guess is no).
Please have a safe holiday.

Hello all, I have an update for you.
I heard from her today. She is doing OK and is a better situation. She actually told me she's gaining a little bit of weight and was eating well. Her son is fine and I could hear him vocalizing on the other side of the phone (those of you with young kids know what I'm talking about). She's with people that are supportive and loving and she's trying to get legal representation. She has some some assistance in doing so. She does not have a lawyer yet, but suspects she will have one early next week. I am trying not to give too much detail on her situation because I have some suspicion her "husband" reads this thread. In short, she and her son are fine.
When we talked I told her what her "husband" had posted on his Facebook page, she was surprised. She said she has 30 days to respond to the papers served to her while she took her son to the doctor, and that she heard nothing to support what he's been saying.
As a quick aside, to give insight about her husband: her son was born with a heart defect and has a feeding tube placed in his stomach. For some reason he will not swallow his food and he is underweight for his age. When her son was 6 months old he needed a heart operation. OP visited him constantly in the hospital, her husband rarely if ever made visits. In-fact, the hospital staff became concerned about their situation because they never saw her husband and wondered why a new father would not visit his son. She was scolded and yelled at by her husband for making him look bad (by her visiting and him not) and told not to visit anymore because her son would be coming home in a few days. Repeatedly she was told there "was no point anyway" to a visit. This raised some red flags in her, but since this was fairly early on in their relationship, she decided to try to salvage things.
Despite some dis-believers of her story. I have quite a few stories I can tell you about this guy she's married to, I have met him personally on numerous occasions. At first I tried to approach my interactions with him as neutral because I know there are 2 sides to the story. Initially I just figured some women just like to complain about their husbands the way I see some dudes complain about their wives at work. The more I got to know him I started to really see where she was coming from, in my mind it corroborated most of the things she's told us in confidence about the abuse. Some of it still defies belief, maybe I'm naive and just have no comprehension on how someone can be so terrible. The last time she stayed at our house and his reactions to that really solidified things in my mind. Something is seriously off with this guy.
OP really is a wonderful person, and yes she is a bit naive at times. She reached out for help and got floods of information. I think it more or less caused analysis paralysis. Couple that with the fear of being separated from her son, fear of emotional and physical abuse from her husband, it became quite clear to me why she endured to situation for so long. In some ways I think simply posting about it was therapeutic enough for her to endure it longer. I actually believe that she'd endure it forever if she was 100% certain she'd never be separated from her son. Recently after discovering "sext messages" from another woman along with pictures on his phone, and him disappearing for weeks at a time, and his threats of getting her deported and separated from her son.. she had enough. In some ways her friends may have conflated the situation by urging her to do something to get out of it. (I think this is a good thing)
In any event sorry for being wordy, she's doing a lot better and is safe for now. I do not know her legal status etc other than she does not have a lawyer yet. A couple weeks ago I helped her fill out numerous documents (VAWA petition etc) but I don't know if she's sent them in yet (my guess is no).
Please have a safe holiday.

Svet, what Harpa is saying is that you need to file a VAWA petition. Based on what I and my wife have seen personally about your situation it certainly seems as though you would have a successful petition. I think you need to step back, relax, go through the VAWA petition forms and seek legal assistance. As Harpa mentioned, your "legal record" is a problem, but you will be able to explain yourself during the petition process.
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=b85c3e4d77d73210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=b85c3e4d77d73210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD