Tarumba

You should not get advice from an Internet forum. Talk to a lawyer or an immigration counselor. Look for a refugee resettlement office in your area if you need referrals. If your employer misrepresented your status and withheld your immigration documents there is a case for trafficking. I work with trafficking victims and I have seen scenarios like this one before.

A lawyer or immigration counselor will listen to the details and give you the guidance you need.

There may be an exception to the drug offender inadmissibility rule if

- your conviction was for simple possession of less than 30 grams of marijuana

- you were a juvenile when convicted

An address in the capital is definitely preferable. I can't imagine anything would make its way to the Amazon without ridiculous delay so her parent's address is not an option. She can get a PO box for mailing address and write down her actual physical address. All USCIS paperwork would make it to the PO box (Apartado Postal). She can get it at the larger Serpost offices. Depending on where she lives. I used to like the large branch in Jesus Maria.

Here is some info on getting a PO box: http://www.serpost.com.pe/PersonasDestinoNacional_APostal.html

Not sure about the passport info but hey if they are not asking, then I wouldn't think they expect you to provide unrequested info.

Her two last names are like one last name for all intents and purposes. Think of it as a hyphenated last name with a space in place of the hyphen.

How could you not discuss all this with him before you guys got married?

Ask yourself...why not Peru? Why does it have to be him to put a hold on his life and change countries? And besides, the whole approach of how he needs to be home being a house-husband because you need someone to take care of the child is pretty dominant over him. How about changing your job? You admit yourself that it's not family friendly...then why are you still working there? You have a family. Why does he have to stay at home unhappily if he clearly doesn't want to?

All I'm saying is, if he were the woman people would be saying it's sexist to expect her to be happy staying at home (stuck without a driver's license) babysitting instead of developing his career or growing as a person.

The situation is even worse if he comes from Lima. The change from a 10-million-people city to a run-down place in the USA is plain AWFUL (I've been there). It's like asking a New Yorker to move to the countryside. And without driving the situation is a million times worse.

Honestly, you guys are married...how can you expect him to live in a situation that makes him so unhappy? Were you expecting him to fully and conveniently adapt to your life style while in the meantime you got a free nanny? You are unhappy because you were planning to add him to your life like an object, and he didn't let you.

I say you don't have to move immediately. What you need is a serious heart to heart conversation where you both decide TOGETHER what your next step is. My husband and I decided to stay here until he's done with school and then we'll move to Europe, where my sister lives (he's originally European). That would make us BOTH happy. I could never dream of imposing my lifestyle on him, and I am sure as hell he would never expect me to totally sacrifice my life for the sake of a crappy job of his. You guys are a team. Sit down over skype and talk things through. Decide together and make a plan. And don't think that somehow your country is better than his, or your life is more important, because that will only separate you more.

Also, all the stuff about school being a problem is a red herring. Your average private school in Peru is WAY cheaper than private schools here, and the quality of education in those schools much better than public education in America. Public education in Peru is #######, though - and the comment about all the research you will have to do...well, having a Peruvian husband probably means that he knows which schools are good and which aren't. Not all of them are for profit and even I can give you a list of really good schools that aren't run for profit and are insanely better than your average American public school. All this you can talk about and decide with him. Maybe he will go back to the US if you are willing to change some things, or maybe he will ask you to move to a bigger town. Maybe you will be totally happy living in a beach town in Peru...who knows. The only thing I know is you have to decide together, and you have to learn to compromise.

Happy Endings, indeed !

Congratulations !

Whatcha cooking, to celebrate?

Just made hummus for some pita chips, and nutella crepes for dessert!

His employees who depend on him for their livelihood I'm sure will disagree with you.

That is such a random and totally useless thing to say...

Yes, get an infopass and write a letter showing your formal intent of withdrawing the petition, even if it's late.

Also OP, please talk to your therapist if you are feeling down. Depression is no joke and events like these can trigger many negative thoughts.

Also please note: If you truly did not abuse her and her accusations are lies, do not take this personally. It sounds counter-intuitive but this has nothing to do with you. This is all about her and her desire to use people to move to the US, even if that means lying and hurting. Your depression will make you feel like you deserve this f*ckery or that it's all your fault. It's not. She had this plan, she would have done it with anyone. It isn't your fault. The only thing you did was trust the person you love and then trust the person you married. Both those things are reasonable and right. Seriously, don't let this get you down. Don't let this affect how you see yourself, because that is the beginning of the slippery slope of depression.

If you did abuse her, then understand her actions, respect her decision to move on and work on improving your temper.

Either way, take care of yourself. Make sure that even if you are (very understandably) sad, you eat healthy, do excessive, watch funny movies and surround yourself with people who love you. Love yourself above all, even in sadness you must love and appreciate yourself. Don't let the depression gain any territory on you.

Send me a message if you need to talk. I have had serious depression issues too and I understand how despairing it can be. I am rooting for you here.

Great! Glad that it worked out. Have a safe trip! Will be most likely the last trip without a US passport

Aw, thanks! It's great to think I will have an American passport in a few months!

Just for future reference, once you get re-scheduled can you report back about the time difference between your old and new ceremony date?

Yes! I actually just got back from my super quick infopass appointment (I had no idea you can schedule them online). They were really nice and helpful, and they didn't even ask me why I needed to reschedule, although I did tell them I had a trip planned. The lady issued me with a letter which read "Oath ceremony descheduled by USCIS", an told me my original date had been cancelled. Then she issued a new date for about 6 weeks later (My appointment was in the first week of January, now it will be in mid February).

She told me it would be better for me to have the date cancelled by USCIS rather than by me (which is why I got that letter saying "sorry, we have to cancel your oath ceremony..."), because that way I don't lose my place in line.

So...happy ending! I get to go on holiday and I got a new ceremony date

Hm. yeah. I am not planning to leave the country in the next 3 years, and if for any reason I do, I will just use my original passport. I doubt my new ceremony plus any complications will occur outside this huge 3 year time frame, so I just got an infopass appointment for this afternoon and will start procedures to reschedule my oath.

Worst case scenario if I have to leave to a country that requires a visa for Peruvian citizens, I'll just get one. I've done it before many times and for several different countries and it was pretty painless.

Thank you team!

Yes you can easily postpone the Oath, what it does though is put you back in that system that took you this long to finally get out of. So many people get lost back inside the system again. People have been known to have to wait for months and longer before even hearing back about the re-scheduled Oath.

So requesting a postponement of it now is fine, but you could be waiting a long time before you hear anything back from them regarding a new date. And remember, you don't get to choose when you get the new date, it is chosen for you.

This is why it's never advisable to make vacation plans while in the N-400 period...

warlord...I've been browsing all threads about this subject and I see that you pretty much copy and paste the same answer to all of them for the last 5 years. I am not sure that what you're saying really adds to the conversation besides creating a little drama and more uncertainty. "so many people"...do you have any numbers? any documentation? I see in other threads you even say it takes years...which I think is extremely unlikely, more like a statistical outlier. What I'm saying is you (probably) don't get paid by reply, so maybe think of the actual contribution of your replies before posting them a million times?

Yeah, I am really confused because I have heard it's really a bad idea to postpone the oath, but I am not sure what people mean by "really bad".

So, I would like to know which one is correct:

A. getting infopass + rescheduling oath ----------------> DISASTER/TOTAL SCREW UP/PAY $680 AGAIN/I WILL NEVER BE A CITIZEN

OR

B. getting infopass + rescheduling oath ----------------> POTENTIALLY LONG WAIT BUT EVENTUALLY OATH

If B, then I will postpone the oath. If A, then I have to kill the trip.

Which one reflects reality?

I have a very expensive vacation booked and my oath ceremony is about 10 hours before I get back into town. I thought about postponing it (there are instructions for that on the letter), but talking to an immigration counselor friend, I hear there are horrible mix ups when the oath ceremony date is changed. He told me he has never had a good experience, and I should just go even if that means losing tons of money/the chance of spending new years with my family.

Has anyone changed the date succesfully? Should I attempt to? What do you recommend?

Thank you

you guys I'm late to the party...I applied on 8/20, got my fingerprints done on 9/14 and I'm waiting for my interview letter! I already started studying

for some reason I can never remember who the chief justice is! (John Roberts!)

thanks!

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You clearly stated she did not choose this life. I never stated she did.

Look, don't be pedantic. Add a "very likely"there if it makes you feel better.

How do you know she didn't choose tolive this life?

How do you know she did, and which one is more likely?

From people's previous post it looks like this poor girl is still being degraded! I can not believe someone just basically said not to marry this girl ( that they dont know themselves) because she's a bar girl! Since the man did not ask for relationship advice I think some of your judgmental statement about this woman should be kept to yourself. I mean afterall someone is marrying you as judgemental as you are so I dont know why your marriage is more likely to serve then theirs.

Op just br cautious, do some extensive research before you start your application. So you both know the best way to handle it.

:thumbs: You are a truly compassionate person, QueenE. I agree with you entirely. This girl did not choose to have this life. It's easy to sit down in your comfy living room and moralize and say "I would rather die than do that!", but until you are there yourself, you can't really know. I personally know I would totally go down that path rather than starve or let my parents starve. I would hate it and it would scar my mind and my soul, but whatever, no choice. I count my lucky stars that I wasn't born into such a horrendous situation.

OP, my advice is to reformulate the truth in your head. This is the way you will be able to most convincingly get away with passing the interview without technically lying. For example, you gave her money. Did she buy you an ice cream/cook you dinner/send you letters later in the relationship? Then she has also given you material things. So, you share your things, just like any couple would. No need to go further. The more information you give them, the more it looks like you are trying to cover something up. Dinner was on my husband in our first date. See? That's how it goes.

If she worked at a bar, then she worked at a bar. Ask her to work as a bartender for a while and she can simply say that's what she's doing. Or maybe cleaning, I dunno. Presumably she changed jobs now? My 2 cents is: There is no way for them to verify she was/was not a sex worker, unless one of you admits it. Do not. Start drilling that into your heads now.

I never, ever give advice like this. But this is a subject that is close to my heart. Being a sex worker is not a sign of moral turpitude. It's a sign that this woman was in such desperate economical conditions that she had to resort to endanger herself physically, psychologically and emotionally to make a living. This is the case with almost all "bargirls" in the third world. Refusing a visa to a woman for this is victim blaming, IMO.

I filed in mid august, had my bio appointment last week, waiting for my interview appointment, probably in Oct/Nov?

Anyway, is there anyone out there who applied in August, too?

If you are still there, I work for a refugee resettlement agency and we have low cost immigration help, our lawyer knows the refugee process because most of his clients are refugees. Send me a personal message and I will give you his email address. He's a pretty cool guy. Refugees usually enter the country with a I94 form. This is what we use to identify them until they receive their green card.

I married a naturalized refugee from ex-Yugoslavia, and ended up working at the office that brought his family.

Thank you!!

Let's say my maiden name was Tarumba Single. I loved my maiden name and I rocked the hell out of it. However, my husband is a European guy (naturalized American), and it's tradition in his culture for the wife to change her name. I decided to give it a go and change my name to Tarumba Married, and I have been trying to get used to it for the last 3 years, but it just isn't working. A Spanish name with a totally unrelated last name just doesn't fly.

So, with my application for naturalization being due in January, I have decided to take the chance to revert to Tarumba Single.

Has anyone done it? What am I supposed to do after I fill in the N400 form with my new old name? Notify whom? Will they give me a notification of change of name? any sort of paperwork to take to the dmv? then what?

Thank you and happy new year!

As a worker in the non profit sector (AKA a nobody) I have not published anything, except a couple of things back in my country, under my maiden name.

Edit: I may add, too, that I am happily married and more in love than ever. I just really want my true name back!

Our package was received on 2/4/2011. We're waiting on our first NOA. Anybody else has done it/is planning to do it in February?

I owned the house before Nik got here (indeed, before we were engaged - but while we were dating) and there was no comment, not even a disapproving facial expression.

Here's how it went during the relationship evidence portion of the interview:

IO: Do you have a lease or anything...?

Me: No, I own our house.

IO: When did you buy it?

Me: Around August 2008.

She looked at some papers, I assume double checking dates on things - we were engaged and filed in Jan 2009 - and then moved on. We were approved.

Oh, OK. Then yeah, the less complication in my life the better. We have a car and most important of all...A KITTY. That will definitely provide proof of a solid relationship!

Seriously, though, I am not doing it if it has to go through a lawyer. Too much $$$.

My husband owns a house, and we are interested in putting my name on the papers, you know, to help with the AOS. I am sure some of you have done this in the past, can you tell me how? I have no idea how to do it!

Thanks!