Asante Maroon

Asante! Great to see you. Miss you.

Boaz

Awwww shucks! Thanks Boaz!

Yeah yeah...whatever Asante.

I just looked at the link that Charles sent to Uno....had to see what all the fuss was about....you guys are crazy!!!

Welcome to the peeper list P!

ya know, it must be something about me

I received that exact same pix last year on my "government" birthday from a female assoc. of mine on my "myspace" page.

me thinx theres a conspiracy theory at work...... B) ...

its definitely you, Uno

Add me to the naughty list too.

You are not only added to the list...You got your membership girl!

sure is a lot of peepers in here.

And you like it...you are a voyuer's delight!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have been so sick and I am miserable!!!! Going to the DR today. This ####### is kicking my butt!! I thought I was getting better and then New Years Eve WHAMO!! It took me down hard. I even lost my voice This SUCKS!!!!!!

Weather is supposed to get COLD tomorrow that sucks too more snow BLECH I think I need to seriously think about moving south

I hope everyone else had a fabulous New Year!!!

Feel better mama! May this be your last illness in 2009...Just think of it as you getting it out of the way early, girl

good day everyone. i'm off work still

No need to rub it in

So I should not say I have been off since the 24th of Dec

Love you Zee

I think you have gotten some great advice already

One thing I wanted to point out is that, as much as you tell him how things are going to be and he keeps saying he understands, don't be surprised if he gets really frustrated with being at home all day. This does not happen to everyone, but I know that it happened to a lot of us. I spent a lot of time letting my hubby know that it may be months before he got a job, that he may have to be at home a lot. He told me he understood and was ready to be at home for a few months Within week 2 he was all moody, wondering when a job was going to call him for an interview. Once he got his job he was fine, but before that

Good luck

Zee you are so on point! I think that optimism and a touch of fairytale romance of what the US is like, plays a big part in the "Oh, I will be fine" menatality. Our SO's don't take into consideration that back home even when there is little to do...there is a lot to do...talking to friends, sitting outside and enjoying nature at the very least. Being bored in a familiar place takes on a whole different meaning than being bored in unfamiliar territory. Optimism eventually loses out to reality.

Asante Maroon----Thanks so much for being real. I try to tell my SO that he will not work for a long while but he's soooo darn optimistic! That's what's scary, like he's in denial. He is NOT the sitting at home type.

Chi

Girl, Girl, Girl!!!! I wish I had been better prepared menatlly so that I could have made things a bit more comfortable for my SO as well as myself! There is only so much that you can do, but knowledge is power. And at the very least when you have an idea of what to expect it makes things less stressful for you. No one wants to see their SO go through a rough patch of the adjustment phase. No matter how much you try to warn your SO that things are not a bed of roses here...they don't get it. AND WHEN they get here...its a rude awakening. Imagine leaving everything you ever known to come to a totally different place (knowing that you won't go back home for quite a while) ...and to make it worse you are sitting at home all day by yourself while your SO is at work. It's kind of boring not to mention depressing....ESPECIALLY if your SO was doing big things back home.

Good luck! Just plan and prepare yourself for a rough adjustment phase and hope for the best. Try to keep your SO occupied and engaged in things that were similar to the activities and/or work he was doing back home. Think positively and REACT with love He might just do fine.

Hope everyone has a HAPPY NEW YEAR celebration!!!!!! You guys have had me this evening!!!! Asante Maroon you crack me up!!!!! I peeked at the picture too!!!!!

Forchika, you too?

Naughty Naughty

I'm the worst kind. I wear my teacher shoes and granny glasses as cover.

Hello Asante,

Long time no see. How r u doing? I've been reading your posts on student loans, and I just grit my teeth when I see that. I didn't take out any loans because I thought I couldn't handle the repayment of the loans. So I worked full time and studied full time. Being FOB then, I didn't know anything about credit and had no clue I could ease my course and work load somewhat with a loan. In a few years when you have that better job or qualify for something else, you're going to forget about the pain of the student loans. Besides, I think students should now lobby Congress to give a student loan bailout. Right?

BTW, I peeked too.

Hey mama!!!!

I wish they would give us a bailout but thats NOT gonna happen

I'm hanging in there girl!

I always knew u were a freak on the low

hey Asante

hey booo! i missed u!

so your a taurus, huh? April or May?

oooo it's uno's birthday!

and a personal pic from me to uno

link

Anyone got a pin?

Nagi, you are fresh!

oooo it's uno's birthday!

and a personal pic from me to uno

link

ok so i peaked

You are one naught boy Charles!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNO :dance:

Good morning everyone

Good mornin' sis!

Hello!

First things first: CONGRATS!!!!!!

Ok, so here goes....

Do not lock yourself down by too many expectations. Things may not be as you expect them to be when he arrives. Your SO can get here and be a on a few months (or weeks) high from just being here and then have adjustment issues OR it may seem as if he had adjustment issues as soon as he got off the plane

Do not expect things to be as romantic or blissful as they were when you visited his home country. Although America is the land of opportunity and freedom, it also a country of stress and worry. The kind of stress that is in America, is nothing your SO may have ever experienced. Don’t forget that you too are influenced by this stress. The laid back person he met in his home country is now the person working, going to school, paying MANY bills, cooking, cleaning, etc…. And when your SO gets here, there will be MANY MORE of these same bills plus transitional monies spent on clothing him, adjusting his status, and helping him pay for school.

I am telling you these things so that you know the scenarios that may occur so that you are prepared for them.

It is VERY important for you to check yourself in terms of the way you choose to express yourself…the first couple of years of your SO being here will be sensitive times. Out of frustration you may come off in the wrong way and he may feel hurt and as a result come off the wrong way to you. You are probably thinking “I love him and there is no way that I would ever come off wrong to him” but I am telling you…after you have worked oh so hard to get your man here and he acts differently from what you know him to be and/or what you expect him to be…you will be hurt, resentful and perhaps a little angry. You will act out from being hurt and it may turn cyclical. You don’t want that to happen. Try to keep a cool head and perhaps wooo saaah before you speak. Trust me I know its hard!

Your SO will be dealing with adjusting to a new country, being out of work for most of the year, not being able to provide for himself, not being able to provide for you, not being able to attend school right away, being bored, missing home and family, etc…. He may deal with all of this fairly well or he may have periods (or long periods) of being a hot mess! With all that you have on your plate, you will be worrying about all is worries too, but you have to stay strong! This too shall pass.

I think you get the point so I will move on to school….(if you dont send me a PM)

As soon as your SO receives his social security card, it is important for you to put a utility bill in his name. This will help him establish his place of residence. Most colleges will not consider your SO a state resident until he has been living in that particular state for at least one year prior to the 1st day he begins classes. The problem is that the documents they tend to want to establish residency does not include his passport or itinerary from his flight here …and all other documents he would receive months later would come too late and would not establish your SO being in the state for 1 year before classes. Schools tend to ask for utility bills, a copy of a lease or deed, copy of W2 and tax forms with address labels and names printed on them, valid state license or non drivers license, bank statements, etc…. Below is a link to a requirement of one NYC school so that you can have idea. You should research this information from the schools that he may possibly attend so that you are prepared.

International students in the school my SO attends considers him an international student and he pays out-of-state tuition as a result. Its EXPENSIVE!!! Unless your SO is a resident of your state and can prove it, then he will receive aid. If not you will either pay out of pocket or he will have to wait until he can prove his residence.

If you need any more info, you can PM me. Good luck! Stay positive but also realistic!

I wish your SO a safe flight and I hope you have a wonderful life together…Just remember to wooooo saaaah!

P.S. I think its an absolute GREAT idea to have your SO involved in some activities to keep him busy while his paperwork goes through! You are definitely on the right path!!!

Residency Requirement for Hunter College (NYC School)

My student loans are catching up with me, so I need to get a better job.

I sooooo understand your pain!

The price we pay for education

Hey Asante

All I have to say is

Hey mama! Whats goin on home slice?!?!? Missed you mucho much mucho...

i see what you mean good ole VJ!

We need to catch up...give me a call Its been sooooooo long!

Yo peeps!! Lets keep the wheels on this one eh??

Been a long time Asante where you been??

Hey P!

How are you, mama?

I've been here tryin to keep my sanity with school and work driving me bonkers

Besides that I've been trying to keep a positive mind and attitude with the hopes of attracting some good energy my way good money too

i will let you know if i win the lotto....wouldnt that be nice? vacations, vactions, no work, vacations.... oh what bliss

did I miss Uno's birthday?

OMG!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNO!!!!!

LL!!!! Its been a lonnnnnng time girl! How are you?????

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YA'LL!!!!!

I know its been a while but how are my peeps doing??? I miss you guys *HUGZ*

I'm gonna have to start making phone calls to you guys....Send me a PM!!!

Gettin back to studying for my two state exams tomorrow

I will check in on you guys tomorrow night! Have a great day guys

Thank you everyone. It does turn out to be better than I thought. He got the box checked on the blue slip that says "suspended, pending receipt of documents". Then the ONLY box checked (ticked) is "UK and Nigerian Police report with FINGERPRINTS TAKEN BY MET OR SCOTLAND YARD" Although this is how he had done it the first time, he is just going to do it yet again, if that is what they require.

Everything else was accepted, and the I-134 was just fine (that was what we had been prepared to get blue-slipped on). This seems to be the best of the other 2 boxes that could have been checked. Of the 3, the first one is "Suspended, pending documents", the second one is "Administrative Processing" and the third one is "Denied".

He scanned the blue slip to me via email. Uno, the courier route is the way the UK does it all and delivers the visa that way too.

Of course, they could always think of something else when he sends the docs back, but who knows.....

We are both exhausted after this disappointing day, but we are not defeated. I am going to sign-off of the computer for the rest of today and go take a hot bubble bath. Thanks for all of the love.

Stevi

Praying for you Stevi. Its all good...God has this one

Morning!

Great to see you Asante! As a matter of fact ... great to see you too LL, it's been a while.

Boaz

Thanks Boaz how have you been?

Yay, my sister from another mother is back

Awwwwwww! Missed u2!!!! Got some catching up to do.

Good to see you Asante

Thank u mama!

Asante's back, woohoo!

MORNING EVERYONE!

So I really was going to attempt to catch up on VJ...especially in the cafe but then I realized that I left off on like page 1 and you blabber mouths are already on page 34!

Soooooo I guess I will just have to be out of the loop.

I MISSED YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

oooh, AAAAhhhhhsssssaaaannnnntteee Maarrrrrooooonnnn,

miss you girly .

thanx for the congrats , for nerd bomber

-----------------------------------

Ditto......Ditto.....Ditto

(Asante Maroon is baaaaack!) I hope

Hey Stevi!

Girl! Kobby just got a new laptop on Monday and I am waiting for black Friday to get my mac. It has been so hard without a computer

And then of course I'm a slave to the dollar and I am a career students...so between the two (and the pc) its been crazy! I have two certification exams to take on Staurday back to back

I need a few prayers ya'll!!!!

P bring the donuts wherever you are.............chocolate covered please ! With

pudding in the middle...........slurp.(just nastee ) hehehe

ewww, yuck hate CUSTARD!!!!!

love cinnamon powdered tho' along with

a venti "coolmintchocolattemochacarmelfrappacinathingy"

but I'm here and game for most anything .

to Boaz, thanx for the complement (literature ), but I do not desire to see another reading assignment , school BOOK or anything edumacational for a very looooonnnnnnng while.

I just graduated from school, my brainz is ty-red (tired B) ).

Late as usual but whatever CONGRATS on the graduation nerd bomber!!!

oooh, AAAAhhhhhsssssaaaannnnntteee Maarrrrrooooonnnn,

miss you girly .

thanx for the congrats , for nerd bomber

UUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hey home girl! Missed ya too!

Zainab - please let Asante know that she is missed. As for your husband and the soccer channel ... I know how you feel.

Boaz

P bring the donuts wherever you are.............chocolate covered please ! With

pudding in the middle...........slurp.(just nastee ) hehehe

ewww, yuck hate CUSTARD!!!!!

love cinnamon powdered tho' along with

a venti "coolmintchocolattemochacarmelfrappacinathingy"

but I'm here and game for most anything .

to Boaz, thanx for the complement (literature ), but I do not desire to see another reading assignment , school BOOK or anything edumacational for a very looooonnnnnnng while.

I just graduated from school, my brainz is ty-red (tired B) ).

Late as usual but whatever CONGRATS on the graduation nerd bomber!!!

Update :

We were blessed with the money to proceed after 5 months of sitting still. I have selected an attorney out of about 40, who I have interviewed,

asked questions and researched their answers.

He is competent and easy to talk to and work with, available when I need him and has waiver knowledge at the field office where my case will be adjudicated.

His fees are fair.

We can move forward now to the leg work and strategy phase, collecting supporting documents for our specific case etc.

My SO and I are doing fine and looking forward to the goal of being together.

It has been a 3 year journey and it has not been easy. But our relationship survived despite all opposition. We have grown closer than ever before.

Keep us in prayer ! We need it !

Good luck mama. You are definately on my prayer list!