Chocolot

I am not denying there can be issues and that we have come a long way since mothers so frequently died through childbirth, but rather than dwell on so many negatives I was just trying to point out if it was too bad, many mothers would choose the ultimate contraceptive and never risk another pregnancy to go back for seconds, and thirds etc

My point about modern interventions is that in their place they can save lives, the problem is when they are used unecessarily. Baby's are meant to get squeezed and get hormones from the birth. This doesnt mean a women who has a drugs or a ceasar is thought less of, just that natural birth is just that 'natural'. How nature intended and so far we haven't come up with anything better.

It is sad that so many new mothers have bad experiences and that medical intervention is seen as the norm. Having a baby is a natural function of a womans body and although some women relate such horrific stories the human race would have died out if it was truly so bad.

Not true. Let's assume that a woman has 6 children. One is stillborn. 2 die of childhood accident or disease. 3 live to adulthood. In the birth of the last sibling, the mother is either severely injured and can no longer have children or dies. Despite the fact that 4 people are now dead, 3 children still lived to breeding age and themselves had between 12-20 children. Maybe half die, but that is still between 6-10. That is all that matters. That is how the human race still exists, just a cold numbers game, not a touchy-feely Hallmark game.

Giving birth always has been dangerous. To not respect this is foolish.

Reading and talking about positive experiences will be more helpful in preparation for any mother about to give birth.

It is sad that so many new mothers have bad experiences and that medical intervention is seen as the norm. Having a baby is a natural function of a womans body and although some women relate such horrific stories the human race would have died out if it was truly so bad. Our bodies have hard work to do to birth a baby, with the right preparation and knowledge a lot of the fear can be reduced and if the mother-to-be can work with her body to deliver.

We like to think that we are so different from other species but truly we can learn a lot from animals. The pregnancy and pre-birth process if taken slowly and gently ripens our body readying it for our newborn with hormonal changes and the less interference the better, as sometime one medical intervention leads to another until it cascades.

Some medical interventions also interfere with the newborn, and any drugs given to the mother can mean that the baby is born with drugs in its body, which changes his or her natural behaviour.

There are some terrific books on natural birth and many mothers can attest that it isnt as bad for evryone as some of the experiences these mothers have related in this thread. Many hospitals have wonderful midwives and will help you. My area of expertise is lactation and can help with feeding tips once the baby is born.

I think having some relaxation or visualisation techniques and some of your wishes written in a birth plan, can be really helpful for when your time comes.

My very best wishes, I cant wait to hear that your baby is here safe and secure in your arms.

after 4 that ranged from 8 hours down to 20 mins in the hospital, I think as long as your boss understands that you may want her there during the less intense time, but may ask her to leave for the delivery it would be good for you to have someone there that said I didnt for the 1st. All were natural deliveries and I wouldnt want it any other way, Babies are meant to born out of a mothers ####### and unless medically necessary it is far easier to recover from the birht than from a surgical wound and to care for a new born.

I feel for Charles, my husband missed our 1st childs birth (through his own choice) and I agreed if he wished to for the next but he felt he'd like to be there for me... we agreed when it was time to push he'd leave, but he didnt and when his son was placed in his arms was absolutely delighted that he had attended the birth. For the last two he was adamant he wanted to be there, but didnt appreciate the youngest almost beating us to the hospital.

I wish you the very best and know you will do a great job, you are welcome to pm me with any questions

Both Justin and I were first borns. My mom was in labor for 12 hours, Justin's mom was really quick. And that's all I know. My general impression is that you can never tell

I would not have my boss in the delivery room. But then again, I would not have anyone except Justin. Too personal!!

Saludos,

Caro

Hi aussies and kiwis *waves to all*

Congrats Kath, I am behind Densusan and VSC is sooo slloooww..

but at least we are together. Reading the rest of this thread and catching up on about 4 pages it brings back all the other waiting... so much worse than this. Hang in there, the journey can be a rollercoaster for the emotions but it is worth it in the end.

I will be glad when I finally hear about the 10 year card though, cos I was one who never got a noa and only have a stamp until March 09

Hope you all had a great thanksgiving. Happy holidays... and hope you are good so you get something nice for christmas

hiya all

thought i would share

email from cris ... card production ordered for my 10 year green card...

hubby said to me when i showed him .. well ya here for 10 years ..think ya can handle it lol...

well susan you were right huh mate...i really thought you would get yours first mate...damm vermont...

talk to ya all soon

kath

1: Absolutely not

2: Absolutely not

3: The baby should get most of the blood, the cord shouldn't be clamped until it stops pulsing. Medical interference in birth and the early daze of the newborn can lead to so many difficulties (as can the limited time off after the birth when the mother and baby are trying to learn about each other and establish breastfeeding)

maybe I am just too cynical but u really think anyone will answer anything but the pc?

and although I didn't need to be married there wasnt much alternative, not even a nine month fiance visa like Oz has. Of course if we could have lived together for over a year we could still immigrate to Oz as a couple, even had we been the same sex.

I just hope my USC loves my country as much as he thinks he will and his immigration journey there is easier than mine has been!

Magic Jack certainly works to call the US from a computer connected to broadband in Australia. We took one back with us and made free calls back to the US, but you need a computer in the overseas country to use it. It certainly is a cheap way to make calls, but you need to check if your SO has both pc and fast connection. If you have both then there are also VOIP companies that you could use like faktortel etc. Of course with pc's and internet in both countries when we wanted contact we used all messengers, like Yahoo, MSN and one called eyeball, if one was having a bad day, we'd switch to another.

Hope one of these helps, ymmv. I have no financial interest, just a user of most of them at one time or another.

Cheers

Check the rates on www.alosmart.com

That's what we used and I think they were about the cheapest rates for an online calling card that I have found. But we did the same as others, talking online as much as possible, sms, and calling cards a few times a week. If you buy one of the alosmart cards it's around 2 hours for $10 maybe more or less depending on the country and mobile vs. landline and you can divide that up - 30 minutes 4 days a week and it's a 10 a week expense. It can still get really costly and I hope that others have some suggestions for you since you are dealing with the lack of PC as an issue. Is it possible for him to go to a cyber cafe once or twice a week or to a friend's home that has a pc to talk online for an hour or two? Then you could possibly talk with webcam and it feels a little bit better than just the telephone. And like I've said before alosmart.com lets you print out a 6 month history and it can make good supporting evidence during your interview to track the cards you've bought and money that's been spent on communication.

uniontelecard.com

Jordan - 4.3 cents per

Morocco - 14.7 - 17.2 cents per

Does anyone know if magicjack (or other similar VOIP device) that has a US telephone number plugged into a highspeed internet connection in a foreign country will work?

I'm not positive, but I think that is what my husbands family has. I had my doubts on it working, but it appears to be the answer. He calls a local number whenever he wants to talk to them. It saves us a fortune. His sister took it to them when she flew back for a visit about 9 months ago.

Hi scooby06

I sent in copies of the itinerary of our trip together, if you send it along with a couple of tourist photo's taken of the two of you while you are away it will also add to the proof. Try and get photos typical of the place you are visiting.

Photo's of you with other family members can also be added.

Credit cards can both be copied and the names highlighted to show they are the same, even if you want to black out a few of the numbers (although I forgot, so I hope they are safe)

The other ideas posted are all good too. Envelopes showing you both get mail at the same address. If you have made wills, phone bills with both your names on, or showing calls to one another.

I think you will have enough evidence, the trip together would be quite convincing, I would think

good luck

cheers juwellz

Hello Everyone,

I'm still 6 month away from filing for Removing Condition on Residency but already I'm thinking of all the document I can gather to proof our Relation ship.

My question is. My husband had already his house before we met and I don't think that my name should be put on his deed even though we life together and all that. It's his house, he worked hart on getting this house and finishing it. My concern is however that the USCIS will be regarding no deed or rent proof in both of our name as reasons of suspicion. We been living together for know over 11 years. Is there anyway with out putting my name on his deed to get a certify verification that we been living together in this house.

Also we don't believe in getting Loans or any Credit and we live on a small budget in general. We do not go and by new cars make enough income for Health Insurance (let alone Life insurance). Simply said the only things we have in our name is Utilities bills, Car Insurance, Joint Tax returns, Bank statment and a trip we took to Switzerland together.

I have applied for a Capitol one Credit cart for our trip to Switzerland and I have put my Husbands as a on this card. We both received a card in each of our name and it has the same account number on it but it those not show it the statements?

If you have the magic jack plugged into your computer that is on a broadband connection, your telephone handset plugs into it and you call out the same as usual from any normal landline.

You can place a call to any phone, local and national calls are free but overseas landline or mobile have charges. Phone anywhere in the world, just check what the rates are to the country you are calling.

If your SO has broadband, it is possible to send them the magicjack and they can call the USA from there using the free local calls.

<www.magicjack.com>

(I have no interest in the company apart from being a happy customer)

So would my fiance need anything on his end? such as a mj? or I just need it? b/c he cant afford internet service/computer.. Sorry for the quest..... lil lost?

I have has MJ for well over a year, they replaced the ATA when we couldnt get it working after a years use, and we take it with us overseas and make all our free calls back to the US using it.

We have saved 100's of dollars and are very happy with the service.

There are other voip companies on the net, I use an Aussie one to call my family there for 10 cents (au) per call.

The call quality on both is little different to a landline, and I have rarely had to redial, just occasionally we get a lag or delay, which is little annoyance when you consider the tiny price we pay for all our calls.

Hope it helps, ymmv

Dude, it's Sunday and my wife is 6000 miles away.

I'm offended by the wind blowing.

Enjoy your day.

I still havent changed mine, nor will I

We married in 2005 and it doesnt seem to have made a difference as I have been through the process without interview so far, and am now months into waiting for the 10 year card (which is quite normal)

If it is better for your children and you want to explain that, I am sure they wont have a problem,

cheers, Jayde

My husband and I got married in Aug 2007, but I haven't changed my name yet (mostly due to my children and their school). I plan to, but was going to do it when he arrives here in the US with me. My question is this, should I do it now, before we begin the visa process? Will it appear better and be better for us if our names matched during all this?

Thanks!

My gut feeling is that it might make a difference, since the USCIS's and DOS's decisions allow room for discretion. Legally it is not required, though. More and more people are not changing their names when they get married. I think it would be at least a point for you in the "proof of bonafide relationship" category, however.

Thai Mom

Thanks so much, both of you. I know they couldn't legally make me change my name, as that is everyone's right here in the US to change it or not. But I HAD planned on doing it anyway, and wondered if it might make it look "better" in the since of presenting a bonafide marriage, like you said. We do have one of those, and I don't want it called into question on any level. And I don't want any hang-ups during the visa process!!

Thanks so much!!!!

Hi JenT, I too am sad for you, it sounds as if you made a real attempt to get it all working. Your story is a reminder that we all have cultural differences and even though speaking the language may help, as someone already said there are just so many adjustments, from the family differences, the food, the way things are done and yes the language.

As one who also has changed countries before, I really didnt anticipate a problem and thought this time would be similar, and found to my surprise how wrong I was. Luckily I too have a supportive husband, who understands my complete and utter misery when i get so homesick. We have had our trips 'home' to check up on the family there but there are always the concerns due to the system, like will we have difficulties returning through immigration while waiting for USCIS to get its act into gear.

Like others before me, I would never have realised the strain that living under the US immigration system would add to the mix, but the fact that it does add to the stress can not be denied.

I am so sorry that your daughters have been hurt, but I agree with you that they deserve the best role model or they may reach adulthood with a poor understanding of what a good relationship is.

I do hope you are in a good place now, your posts will, I believe be incredibly helpful for others, and I commend you for your braveness and thoughtfulness in your description.

Thanks for sharing

jayde

((()))

Thank you so much for saying this. I thought it was me.....that there was something wrong because after all this time, I am still having to explain stuff. 7 years......EGADS!!!!

Nah, it's not you. This past weekend, I dealt with some personal issues relating to 'settling in' -- I've been here almost 4 years and still dealing with it. I have finally let go of some things, and feel much better about things as a whole, but it still doesn't feel like home to me. My hubby is extremely supportive, which helps, but I can't but help to feel bad about it a bit. At least when we make the move to Canada, I will know exactly what he is feeling like!

JenT, I am truly sorry to hear what has happened to you. I wish you nothing but the best.

After becoming involved in tracing my ancestors I wish more women had retained their maiden names or at least put them into their childrens names as in "Mary Taylor Brown". It would make tracing the maternal side of the family so much easier as although we may know our mothers and grandmothers family names it usually doesnt go back further than 2 generations.

When I wanted to revert to my maiden name (I felt I needed to be me again, when my marriage was crumbling) many people tried to make me show divorce papers or a court paper, however when I researched it I found that I had never given up my maiden name and had every right to use it. It was a matter of switching it in one place along with my birth certificate and then everything else fell into place.

After going to the trouble of getting 2 passports and all my other identifying documents in my original name, I had no wish to change all over again. I like my husbands name and I respect and admire him and I dont need to have my identity linked to his with more official documents than a marriage certificate to show that, being his Mrs is enough.

I think for some women it works really well to change, for others it works to retain their family name.

Hi Stevie, you can apply for the Japanese Police Certificate through the Consulate here. It's free of charge but takes about 2 months for them to process it so it's probably a good idea if you apply for yours soon. The consulate is open Monday-Friday between 9:00-12:00 and 14:00-15:30. You should bring your valid passport and a registered post envelope (domestic, small sized one).

hope this helps!

ps- where abouts in Japan were you? we were in Sapporo

Hi Guys, I hope you can find the "Aussie" thread, it's pinned at the top of the "asia" page. <http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=27>. I hope that works!!

I am in Florida from Brissie too, so can feel for you. There are some aussies who have made the application after me, (they keep changing the immigration rules) and they will probably chime in too...

Welcome to VJ and best wishes for your journey

He's actually criticizing my simplification of American history.

Yes, I was just trying to determine if he was just insulting you or all of us, but since it's just you that's ok

And I consider the "founding" of Canada to go back way before the Confederation in 1867.

I love hearing the differences! I have a hard time understanding much of the American psyche and although I am just "renting time" until I can go back "home", I am sure some time in the future I will look back on this journey as one that has influenced and broadened my outlook.

Australia isn't all convicts and kangaroos but we all get generalisations, sometimes its hard not to get defensive when another American suggests it is "third world" but.

Belated Happy Canada Day to all the Canadians and Happy Fourth for the USC and residents,

I've read through some resources and I am still confused about retention of UK citizenship. My fiance and I have been discussing whether or not he should become naturalized when the time is right. He does not want to revoke UK citizenship. It appears that the UK will allow a person to retain their UK citizenship even if they become a citizen of another country. My question is...When you swear your oath of allegiance when becoming an American citizen do you renounce your UK-ness? Has anyone here from the UK become a US citizen and is still a UK citizen?

Thanks all!

Hi Although you pledge allegiance to the US, your country of birth still recognises you as 'its' citizen, it means that you enter and leave the US on your US passport, however you enter and leave GB on the GB one.

hope that helps, I cant find the URL right now

Congratulations!! Are you relieved ?  

I guess I'm surprised that so many people want to leave the U.S., some even as soon as possible by their posts. I guess most are here to get dual citizenship and then peace? After all, if one knew they wanted to be close to their SO yet wanted to live in the other country... why not apply for a family-based visa in that country (especially if they want to leave the U.S. ASAP).

Quite a number of us had to make the choice based on whose career would be sacrificed and family obligations. Once those commitments have been satisfied and/or goals have been attained then we will be able to return to the country we prefer to be in. The decision for most just isn't as simple as yours must be, I guess.

Actually, my girl's opportunity in her country is far better than mine will probably ever be. However, we looked in the long run and determined U.S. is best for both of us. Obviously there are cases where coming and going back home due to family obligations (i.e. kids, sick family, etc) would make coming here and going back to the SO's home a worthwhile option. However, I can't help but think of those who are trying to immigrate to the U.S. to live here indefinitely (at least as a plan) and wondering how those who are applying for visas only to go back home soon thereafter might be holding up visas for those who want to stay. Not judging anyone but for those that coimplain about how CSC is taking forever for visa approval might look at their fellow petitioners and beneficiares as being the reason for the holdup.

While it is true, some couples are in the queue and do not want to live in the USA forever, there are no options to stay legally or even to keep returning so the alternative is for couples to pursue dual citizenship.

As some have already said the USA isnt the be all and end all, there are countries that offer significantly better lifestyles, and because the immigration rules do not have a procedure that allows longer stays we have to follow the same rules and join the same queue as someone who has their whole life planned to stay in the USA.

I am glad that you discussed fully with your SO about your future, I am sure your reasons seem compelling to choose the US and for her to sacrifice her opportunity which you state would be better in her own country.

Our reasons are compelling that we have the choice of living or staying in either country, sadly there are always compromises in life, and things are not always how we would like them. I dont feel that I am impinging on someone elses place in the queue, we are all on this journey, we all love someone and the only way to be with them is to go through the requirements of the country involved.

I guess I'm surprised that so many people want to leave the U.S., some even as soon as possible by their posts. I guess most are here to get dual citizenship and then peace? After all, if one knew they wanted to be close to their SO yet wanted to live in the other country... why not apply for a family-based visa in that country (especially if they want to leave the U.S. ASAP).

Some couples have significant family ties in each country, we dont want to restrict our choices. Parents get older and need support, as a grandparent I dont want to miss out totally on my grandchildren. 

There are couples going through this journey from all sort of age groups, careers and stages of life. What suits one couple may not be ideal for another.

And while we do have to apply for a visa, all over again, it surely cant be as stressful as this journey.

 Definitely Heading out of here. 

The only distressing thought is starting a whole new immigration process   oh well, it cant be as bad as USCIS

No change here since it was last touched

Anyone got any news?

Anyone got any news?

Myself, my file has not been 'touched' and the status shows it being sent to vermont, but not received.... so... absolutely nothing.

Keith had his biometrics on May 1st and when we got home we got the email stating he was transferred to Vermont. It did say "Application Type: CRI89, PETITION TO REMOVE CONDITIONS OF PERMANENT RESIDENT STATUS RECEIVED". I just looked at it after your post and we were touched again on May 2nd but nothing in the narrative is any different.

What a courageous lady

   my thoughts and best wishes to all those that loved Kezzie and were loved by her.

We just applied online for an ETA for my husband (they charge au $20) and it was immediate, on the site it said to book it 2 weeks before but there shouldnt be a problem. You have to be outside Oz to do that, so he will have to do the online application. We did the same thing last year. Here is the site  <www.eta.immi.gov.au/>

On arrival we didnt have any problems, and I cant imagine he will, after all he has his return ticket and the K1 pretty much ensures you wont marry

Good luck, have a fantastic time, take pics with your family for AOS, it all helps.

hi all,

just wanted to know if anyone (USC) has ever experienced any trouble entering Australia, ie trouble of the sort that has sometimes been experienced by non-USCs entering the States...? my fiancé will be arriving in a week and I want him to be prepared

(background: he's staying for two weeks, before we fly back to the US together; I am in receipt of my K-1 and we're within all deadlines... we'll have a party, but not even a ceremony, while he's here, so no worries about the wedding taking place in the wrong country or anything like that

oh, and I'm assuming that he still needs an ETA? I haven't seen anything saying not, but I just don't know how up to date all the sites are )

thanks in advance for any helpful replies!

All he looked at was my infopass appointment sheet, on which he wrote my tracking number and my greencard. He saw my passport in my hand and checked the computer before preparing to stamp it.

The IO passed my passport and greencard back to me, telling me no NOA's were coming out and not to expect one.

I also took my flight itinerary in case I had to prove why i needed it, because my card doesnt expire until June. In fact I took the copy of the application file with me, as I was prepared to argue why I needed the stamp in my passport, but he didnt even see any of that.

The stamp is for 12 months from the date it was given, so if necessary I will go back next year, by then my N400 will be in the works. It seemed very efficient there, at Miami and we were out within 30 minutes.

I hope this helps, ymmv of course

Hi Jayde,

i know i prefer to make an infopass but im not planing to travel out of counrty for now .so i don't need to get the stamp

By the way,when you made an infopass what did they ask you to show as a proof of filing I-751 on time ?

and did they take away your conditional green card ?

Hi Cookiee

An alternative is to make an infopass appointment at Miami and get the i551 stamp. The IO we saw said no-one was getting NOA's and was saying many people were going in to get the stamp. It was quick and painless.

He also gave us the number to track our case status, even though I already had spoken to the USCIS line as above and had successfully got my number.

thanks anya-D but i don't think its is gonna work.

nobody can check their status online with that number they got over phone

i m gonna keep waiting for either NOA or Biometrics.. i believe one day im gonna receive one of them