Mithra

LOL I'm sorry but this post is funny to me. If they actually granted visitor visas to husbands while waiting for a visa, we'd all have done it. They won't grant a visitor visa to someone who has the intent to stay in the US ie being married to a US citizen.

LOL I'm sorry but this post is funny to me. If they actually granted visitor visas to husbands while waiting for a visa, we'd all have done it. They won't grant a visitor visa to someone who has the intent to stay in the US ie being married to a US citizen.

LOL I'm sorry but this post is funny to me. If they actually granted visitor visas to husbands while waiting for a visa, we'd all have done it. They won't grant a visitor visa to someone who has the intent to stay in the US ie being married to a US citizen.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

I'm glad that the OP has come to the conclusion that perhaps it wouldn't be in the best interest of the younger child that he be taken from his mother. I am, however, concerned for the OP that she feels that a man behind a computer screen (that she has never actually spent any RL time with) is all she has in life. This speaks volumes. I can now see why she would want to do everything to please "all she has". I've been a member of this forum for several years and it never ceases to surprise me how sad certain cases are. Just when I think I've seen the most bizarre, most naive, most gullible, most tragic and most sad...I see more.

While Ramadan is super important for many people, don't go too crazy trying to prepare complicated dishes or make huge meals every night. The month is LONG and you will get burned out FAST. I'm sure any effort you put into it will be appreciated. I would keep dates on hand, naturally but also small appetizer type stuff for breaking the fast. I would mix up traditional Moroccan foods with food you're more comfortable preparing. It's important to have a meal in the evening but it doesn't have to be a big ordeal. I would reserve bigger meals for days off so it's easier on you and your husband. You'd probably do best asking your husband what kinds of traditional Moroccan meals he'd prefer. From my experience from when we used to do Ramadan, the first week to 10 days I would knock myself making everything special then the rest of the month it was simple stuff like tacos or whatever. I'm sure others have a lot more patience and stamina than I did.

While Ramadan is super important for many people, don't go too crazy trying to prepare complicated dishes or make huge meals every night. The month is LONG and you will get burned out FAST. I'm sure any effort you put into it will be appreciated. I would keep dates on hand, naturally but also small appetizer type stuff for breaking the fast. I would mix up traditional Moroccan foods with food you're more comfortable preparing. It's important to have a meal in the evening but it doesn't have to be a big ordeal. I would reserve bigger meals for days off so it's easier on you and your husband. You'd probably do best asking your husband what kinds of traditional Moroccan meals he'd prefer. From my experience from when we used to do Ramadan, the first week to 10 days I would knock myself making everything special then the rest of the month it was simple stuff like tacos or whatever. I'm sure others have a lot more patience and stamina than I did.

I feel the same way re: stay at homes. I don't think that the working partner should have to help with the housework (unless they want to). When I was a stay at home my ex husband never helped me and I didn't expect it. My job was to take care of the kids and keep the house in order. I didn't go help him at his job so why would he have to come home and help me with my job? I even did the yardword most of the time, too. He would help with that part.

I'm glad that the OP has come to the conclusion that perhaps it wouldn't be in the best interest of the younger child that he be taken from his mother. I am, however, concerned for the OP that she feels that a man behind a computer screen (that she has never actually spent any RL time with) is all she has in life. This speaks volumes. I can now see why she would want to do everything to please "all she has". I've been a member of this forum for several years and it never ceases to surprise me how sad certain cases are. Just when I think I've seen the most bizarre, most naive, most gullible, most tragic and most sad...I see more.

I'm not a sister, or even contemplating becoming one.
But - you're on a schedule.
Get him on a schedule, as well.
IMO, no muck, no clutter, no decaying food by the time __YOU__ come home, is a great thing. He'll know when you come home each day, so shift him a bit, get him on a schedule - should take less than 1 hour of focused cleaning to get the house back on track, each day.
A Schedule is important. IMO, he needs one, todayish.
Failing all of that - here's a tip for overcoming the maleness in the house.
Go talk with yer Imam/muallah - tell him the issue, then invite him over 1 hour before you are scheduled to get home, knowing full well that he will be training your husband for 'how to clean'. I know it sounds silly, but you get a big man teaching the little man? All is wonderful, in the squeaky house.

It should probably be worded as he's from a family where women do all the housework. My brothers are American raised in the US by an American mom and they don't do ####### as far as housework. They never had to as kids so they don't do it now. Male chauvinism is alive and well in the US, too. I was expected to clean my room and help with chores as a kid but my brothers weren't. And yes, if his family taught this lesson to him (that women do all the housework) then it's a little hard for a new immigrant to break out of that mindset. Even if his wife is doing the typical "male" duties, housework may still be "beneath" him ie "woman's work". Or he just doesn't care that the house is messy. I don't know Squeaky's husband personally so I don't know if it's a male/female duty mindset or he just doesn't care about a messy house or maybe both? His culture certainly dictates that the house and children are the woman's job. Maybe taking care of a child all day feels like enough for him. If he does have that mindset taking care of a child all day may be a bit emasculating on its own without adding housework and cooking to the mix. I was a stay at home mom for several years. I loved it but it did get mind numbing at times. I can see how a normally lazy person would feel like he didn't give a ######.

This is such a touchy subject for me because it involves kids.
I read your post again. Do you really think 12 is an appropriate age to rip a child away from his mother? I'm sorry but as a mother I am floored, appalled and outraged that you would even consider taking a child away from his mother even at the mature age of 12. I have two sons, 15 and 13. Apparently older than your idea of the appropriate age a child can be taken from his mother. I can't imagine them living full time in another country being raised by a woman who doesn't even know how to communicate with them. I would be heartbroken and devastated if some foreign chick decided that she knows better what is good for my kids. Do you even consider how this child will feel if you and your "fiance" were to succeed? Such selfishness. I'm just sick that you would even consider such.

Like others have said, you're jumping the gun on this one big time. You haven't even met your "fiance" yet so I'm not sure how the thought of child custody can even enter your mind. You don't even know if you'll actually like your "fiance" once you meet him in person. I wouldn't worry about his kids or his ex right now. I would focus on whether or not you both even have chemistry beyond online chats. I know you *think* you're madly in love and things are going to be amazing but you have no idea. There are so many things to consider other than the feelings of love and lust which is really all you have right now.
About child custody, most of us are not Egyptians but your "fiance" is. He can more easily research child custody laws than we can. What you'll get here is mostly hearsay and opinions not facts. I'm assuming you don't have children because if you did you would NEVER consider taking a child away from his mother esp to move the child to a foreign country. I'm sorry to say this but the situation with your "fiance" does not sound good. Too much potential drama and too many babies and baby mamas.

This is such a touchy subject for me because it involves kids.
I read your post again. Do you really think 12 is an appropriate age to rip a child away from his mother? I'm sorry but as a mother I am floored, appalled and outraged that you would even consider taking a child away from his mother even at the mature age of 12. I have two sons, 15 and 13. Apparently older than your idea of the appropriate age a child can be taken from his mother. I can't imagine them living full time in another country being raised by a woman who doesn't even know how to communicate with them. I would be heartbroken and devastated if some foreign chick decided that she knows better what is good for my kids. Do you even consider how this child will feel if you and your "fiance" were to succeed? Such selfishness. I'm just sick that you would even consider such.

Like others have said, you're jumping the gun on this one big time. You haven't even met your "fiance" yet so I'm not sure how the thought of child custody can even enter your mind. You don't even know if you'll actually like your "fiance" once you meet him in person. I wouldn't worry about his kids or his ex right now. I would focus on whether or not you both even have chemistry beyond online chats. I know you *think* you're madly in love and things are going to be amazing but you have no idea. There are so many things to consider other than the feelings of love and lust which is really all you have right now.
About child custody, most of us are not Egyptians but your "fiance" is. He can more easily research child custody laws than we can. What you'll get here is mostly hearsay and opinions not facts. I'm assuming you don't have children because if you did you would NEVER consider taking a child away from his mother esp to move the child to a foreign country. I'm sorry to say this but the situation with your "fiance" does not sound good. Too much potential drama and too many babies and baby mamas.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

If this forum teaches anyone anything - it's to really think about what kinds of personal information to share with the public. It's not really a good idea to divulge every thought, idea, personal conversation, private argument, etc. We all have personal lives and sometimes our lives get crazy or messy or whatever. However, not all of us feel the need to come to a public message board to talk about it in detail. If you're going to share all of this personal stuff you have to be prepared to face whatever reaction others may have whether good or bad. I don't share too much on these boards but it doesn't mean my life is perfect or that I don't have my own personal dramas to deal with from time to time. I just choose not to invite strangers to pick apart my life. I know that the OP and others are new at this and don't yet have their filter. Hopefully they can learn to either toughen up or be more careful with whom they share their personal business with. Also, ask yourself - would my SO, fiance, husband want all these ppl to know what we talk about, argue about, deal with or any other vulnerability? Probably not. I know I'd be pissed if my husband was on a public board discussing our personal business with strangers.

I'm glad that the OP has come to the conclusion that perhaps it wouldn't be in the best interest of the younger child that he be taken from his mother. I am, however, concerned for the OP that she feels that a man behind a computer screen (that she has never actually spent any RL time with) is all she has in life. This speaks volumes. I can now see why she would want to do everything to please "all she has". I've been a member of this forum for several years and it never ceases to surprise me how sad certain cases are. Just when I think I've seen the most bizarre, most naive, most gullible, most tragic and most sad...I see more.

I'm glad that the OP has come to the conclusion that perhaps it wouldn't be in the best interest of the younger child that he be taken from his mother. I am, however, concerned for the OP that she feels that a man behind a computer screen (that she has never actually spent any RL time with) is all she has in life. This speaks volumes. I can now see why she would want to do everything to please "all she has". I've been a member of this forum for several years and it never ceases to surprise me how sad certain cases are. Just when I think I've seen the most bizarre, most naive, most gullible, most tragic and most sad...I see more.

I'm glad that the OP has come to the conclusion that perhaps it wouldn't be in the best interest of the younger child that he be taken from his mother. I am, however, concerned for the OP that she feels that a man behind a computer screen (that she has never actually spent any RL time with) is all she has in life. This speaks volumes. I can now see why she would want to do everything to please "all she has". I've been a member of this forum for several years and it never ceases to surprise me how sad certain cases are. Just when I think I've seen the most bizarre, most naive, most gullible, most tragic and most sad...I see more.