Bluelake1

12 hours ago, Luckycuds said:

Calling USCIS will not help they can’t instruct you how to fill the form. You can write your reason in section 8, however lame, but it’s the truth.
 

If you have panic attacks over the process you should really file online because now you will wonder for 1+month if you rocket was received, did you mail it to the correct address, etc.

iN the future make copies of all your importance documents and email them to yourself that way you have them. Also,  in an emergency your passport and green card should be 2 of the priorities you take with you.

Thank for your time and op. I was thinking ask USCIS not for filling the form but if has any knowledge if one has  issue with uncertain response and if it’s ok to explain it in section 8 . 

I think if I send by mail they can answer by email. If this info is correct ( they also may even open an online account for us) my reason fir mail is simply I can’t download and send them the doc online. 

For the rest Great good points, I learned my lesson. Honestly I’ve been not well for a long time loosing my husband and papers were his job. And other difficult things happened. 

Again many times thank you!

1 hour ago, Villanelle said:

Ok so you are just renewing your 10yr card cause its expiring. You fill out the i90. Here are 2 links that give a walk through of it. https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/uscis-i-90-form/  

 

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filling-out-uscis-form-i-90-renew-replace-green-card.html

 

Read through them and ask if you still have questions. The only thing being a widow would impact when filing the i90 would be if you were changing your name due to the change in marital status. If you only had a 2yr card and are now trying to get a 10yr one then you'd do a different form which has requirements for filing as a widow. 

 

If this is your 2nd 10yr card you should consider applying for citizenship. Is there a reason why you didnt apply for citizenship yet? Besides being able to vote and travel freely there are many social service programs you need to be a citizen to use. You also wont need to do this again 10 years from now! If you do want to pursue citizenship but things are too hectic right now to deal with it thats ok, just make it a priority for the future. There are guides for it on here that are up to date. The n400 can take a year or more to process so the sooner you can send it the better. 

 

I saw you also had various questions about work and SSN and stuff. I think the best advice for you is to not worry so much about it. Once you file the i90 you get a NOA receipt. If you then need to present your greencard for any purpose--- If the card is expired you would need to take your NOA to your local office and get a stamp in your passport. If you dont have a passport there is a process for them to create and stamp a document instead but its complicated so youd be better off getting your passport if you can. 

 

And yes, there is a law saying you need to have your valid greencard on you at all times. Its not a big deal if you dont though. You can carry a copy of the NOA + expired card. 

Thanks a lot for taking the time!! Was advised to post smaller portions of my case and had on General immigration section some answers. 

You offered help if I have questions , last q which affected me was that I don’t recall the Poe, by land, and had idea to explain in section 8 : I cannot access my papers -passport with the info- which are in a secure location far away, as had experienced hardships loosing my spouse and had to move. And end with I swear all it’s true and nothing but the truth, etc which is the truth of course. 

Some said not to worry other that’s lame. Would like your opinion, What are the risks? 

Again in thank you  so much!!

Correction: I cry every time I have to fill a paper. Thanks again!!

Just now, millefleur said:

If you genuinely cannot remember and don't have access to check your documents, just explain that. I have a feeling you're not the first person this has happened to. You have status here as GC holder, I doubt it'll be a problem. I assume the worst that could happen is they send you an RFE for missing information later, but maybe they won't even bother with that.

Oh was just writing  to you colleague and wanted to do that to you but you just answered , thank you!! So I’ll explain truthfully as mentioned,  in section 8 . Yes I have the status GC and will bring to biometrics. All is true, my husband took care of papers and it’s diff w/ o him . I very for every paper I have to fill. 

Thanks from the bottom if my heart!!!

6 hours ago, Luckycuds said:

You will need your greencard for identification purposes when you go for biometrics. You can find your travel history by looking up your I94- I’m just not sure if you need your passport # to do that however. Additionally do you have any of your boarding passes in your email or visit the airline website that you traveled in on to find your flight history?

I have the green card, rechecked what’s i94, it asks info on passport, which again is the point, passport is with my papers far away. So not sure how to use it. I entered with visa stamped at the border on land. 

My option to explain section 8 with all additional evidence if they need ( or send it with the form) and/ or call directly USCIS will Be acceptable?

1 minute ago, HRQX said:

It's the same questions, but you receive the receipt notice within 72 hours in the online account home page.

Some had issues with online application. But I keep it in mind thanks!!!

just need answer to my last q, start to have a panic attack

17 minutes ago, HRQX said:

Are you filling out the I-90 in paper form or online filing?

Paper. Why?

13 minutes ago, millefleur said:

I'm very sorry to hear that. Don't stress just yet, there might be other ways. Check I-94 like @Luckycuds mentioned or your email history for old travel tickets. Many states do not have that many international POE's, maybe you can just use deduction to help yourself remember which it was?

I don’t  have / recall any I 94 form, I checked what it is and not sure it’s my case: I entered in US by land / car with hubby with visa from consulate in passport. And never left us since then. 

Passport and immigration file  is in that secure location I can’t attend. 

Lucky, sorry forgot to add, I do have my GC too in addition to foreign citizen Id, plus ssn, irs taxes if needed. Can these replace my amnesia and paper left  I can’t access now ( traveling ) to complete with hesitation the city of the Poe? 

Millefleur and lucky thanks  so much for taking your time and kind words, means a lot! 

18 minutes ago, millefleur said:

Is it possible to have someone look at the stamp and convey the information to you?

 

In general it's also not really a good idea to be without a passport when you're living in a country you don't have citizenship in. I think it's better in general for you and your passport to be reunited at some point, if it's possible.

Ops responded in previous post. New to these quoting techs. 

1 minute ago, Bluelake1 said:

Not possible to find someone, death in family and had to move,  my passport is expired and only have a foreign citizen Id card with me. Diff to talk about these hardships here. 

Ps hardships didn't allow me to get my papers, I planed to do it much earlier but couldn’t. Pulling my hair now, if you have another illuminated idea.... otherwise I only see  explanation in section 8 or maybe I can call USCIS and ask 

1 minute ago, millefleur said:

Is it possible to have someone look at the stamp and convey the information to you?

 

In general it's also not really a good idea to be without a passport when you're living in a country you don't have citizenship in. I think it's better in general for you and your passport to be reunited at some point, if it's possible.

Not possible to find someone, death in family and had to move,  my passport is expired and only have a foreign citizen Id card with me. Diff to talk about these hardships here. 

7 minutes ago, Bluelake1 said:

No it’s in a very safe place. It’s just far and can’t go there now, also bc covid ( traveling risk) scared to take the risk 

 

 

You raised a good point, about avoiding any suspicion, why in section 8 I can add which is the truth: that I had to move and didn’t take any risks and left my papers in a safe place. Can also ad I have evidence if needed. 

And end with : all this is the truth, and all the truth, etc. 

Just now, millefleur said:

Is the issue that your lost your passport? I just think putting down "unable to access passport" or "passport in another location" sounds very suspicious.

No it’s in a very safe place. It’s just far and can’t go there now, also bc covid ( traveling risk) scared to take the risk 

45 minutes ago, millefleur said:

Not needed. This is purely optional. The number is notoriously difficult to find (it's usually hidden somewhere on some physical paper notice you got from USCIS) or it's possible you don't even have one at all. Skip it if you don't know.

 

The stamp in your passport from whenever you originally did POE should have a three letter code, which would tell you what the city was.

Thanks so much!! 

Remains 3: ie stamp in passport it’s in another locating , why this thread. Should I explain in section 8? 

Hello , 

These little remaining qs bug me, completing the 10 yr renewal form. 

1. Online Number account : don’t have it

2. I recall only the state, but not the city of POE. Although I recognize the  city office from the pic online. 

3. Section 8 where we can add info, I think to explain the reason why: bc my papers are in a location where I can’t travel to. 

Would this be enough or acceptable for USCIS , or what should add?

Anyone with knowledge / experience who may help a bit much appreciated !!

5 hours ago, Villanelle said:

Do you currently have a 2yr card and new to get a 10 yr card or do you have a 10yr card that is expiring and you need a new 10yr card? Those are two different processes. 

10 yrs card 

Ok for some reason  I misunderstood. If he has rehabs that had helped him and you in  counseling then that’s great. The why he wasn’t there at birth, etc he told you,. All these are for the counseling place. (Why he can’t have a relationship with baby, and so on ) and essentially the dynamic of his violence, impact on you 

Here is for you to get support  about papers if you decided anything and counseling is to help make such decisions, I think

3 hours ago, Chidang said:

I'm trying to be strong right now for our baby. Last night i was so upset i thought about slitting my wrist. I'm just so drained both emotionally and mentally. I sincerely don't know what next steps to take. His mom is caring for us now but she's nearing retirement so we can't depend on her either. I need to start planning for us. I feel so helpless to my situation. Divorce isn't far from my mind but then again i might not be granted custody, i can't be separated from our baby.

I don’t want you get harmed, you and not good for the baby. Ok to have the thoughts but don’t act out on them. He already hurt you. Only means you need to step back take a few days off from all these worries, take a long bath, rest lots. If possible find some good counseling, ppl who are safe and light to talk with, etc. 

7 minutes ago, Cathi said:

The man is an addict, sending him pictures and talking to the baby won't do a thing. The only thing that will help him is if he stops drinking.

He tried , don’t think you read previous post, with op we are in a different dimension. 

Sent him pics of the baby, let him talk to the baby so that he bonds and motivate him to be more responsible. Concrete contact may help him. You include him in this and he’ll feel less abandoned . He was in lalaland while the baby was emerging, time for him to catch up :). That doesn’t mean you don’t need to heal either just the opposite. 

2 hours ago, Chidang said:

I actually appreciate your insight on this issue. You're right about the possibility of separation/abandonment anxiety. It's very obvious even in his statements he has made to me on several occasions. As for getting help, he has had rehabilitation so many times during the course of our marriage to the point where going to the er for emergency detox is like going grocery shopping. We have debt collectors calling we're totally in collections now. I know he needs support but i need to protect our child from the damages this could impact on him psychologically, I'm trying to do this by being the stable parent. I can't do much in mu situation because we all depend on him.

I’m glad to help if I can. Now you have noticed an important factor, is short his multiple rehab attempts, Er often are not really helpful, like they send them back without really in-depth accurate help: it only means he’s caught up in this system which may have increased his issue. Tell him that: it’s not all his fault given he appears to have tried many times. Now once this is established, where we go from there? What that means is to search for different approaches, not in a full dysfunctional health care system, which is obviously in crisis itself. You observation about Er is remarkable: a grocery store objectifying people, etc. With  his insurances it’s a good thing to search some private psych professionals competent - this must be verified- and with experience in such complex cases . His abandonment fears can be used to motivate him and create a strong bond with the professional, bc such strong attachment is needed for him to hold tight to work through the difficult steps- also he may also have to repair what the incompetent rehab places created. You may support him at that distance which is perfect for your safety and get all the help from the grand ma until you get also help and fix your situation. I would reassure lots that you’re there for him and stay in touch as much as you can and tolerate him fir him to get help / search together , share about choice of the good professional. Under one condition, he must be sober - I said calm to be tactful- when he addresses to you, he must regain the sense of responsibility for his issue and know that you take care of the infant and yourself until then. You know better if it’s worth trying given you both appear to love each other, or maybe things changed for you which is understandable. Also believe he has to share and talk with you deeply about what had happened which is also a good thing and help him to progress- he won’t feel abandoned ( am thinking if his crisis is not related to the baby, some fragile men feel abandoned when a baby arrives) so if it makes sense he needs to be reassured fir him to concentrate to get the right help. And get well do he can be a reliable  provider . 

14 minutes ago, Chidang said:

True i recognize that he'll be needing help. I just don't think is fair that he can keep me abandoned and uncared for yet won't enable to care for our family either. He keeps relapsing and lying about it

Yes we all know it’s not fair but an addict with unresolved issues and in crisis is not in same frame of mind like us, it’s where you can learn how this issue works, i. e. the stages. Which will empower you how to intervene. For instance in my op lying means he’s not even at 1 st level. One can get help only if acknowledges  has a problem and is willing to get help, then it’s easier to work through the next steps. 

I don’t  know him - you know him better-but if he gets into paranoia and beats you it’s serious. Worst state of alcoholism is what’s called delusional close to another form of psychosis. So it’s important you stay safe and know how to deal with him. I would opt for the Hope mode, create boundaries while you support him in opening the topic if possible for him to get help. By boundaries I mean something like: we can talk only when you are calmed down, call me then. I don’t want to separate you from your child nor divorce you - he has separation/ abandonment anxieties- but we make a pact : you get help and I’ll support you. Tell him to do that for our baby who needs a dad and will be proud of his dad who worked hard to work through his issues. Don’t know, give him example of Nicole Kidman’s husband who was quite a mess with his addiction. And relapse is part of the addiction until he learns how to take care of it by himself. 

As for you he must know clearly you have to get help too and it’s out of the question you’ll tolerate any type of abuse and you have to mean it and know what to do if he doesn’t respect this crucial boundary. 

Oh this is long but hope it helps a bit. 

Wow, that’s a lasting traumatic experience for both you and the baby. So sorry !! What do you want, is 1 st thing. I agree safety comes first. Then figure out if you want a divorce and/or think to find means to help him get help. Either an intervention to get in rehab or other forms of psych which would help him. Or restraining order if he can’t control himself, bc now as he acted out - became physical- that needs not to be tolerated anymore. 

There are various ways to make him get help, make reparation and get back to his responsibilities to take care of you and baby. 

Learn the few steps in addiction and in which stage he is, he may know better given he had relapsed. Must work trough the why he relapsed with a psych. No need to be insufferable and violent if he relapsed. So these may be some ideas if you don’t decide for a divorce and don’t stop searching for help, you’re 2 now

A little follow up: given all the tech logistic issues and the grave consequences experienced since I lost my spouse, including lack of access to my papers as mentioned, I see there is part 8 in the form where one can provide additional information. It’s where I am thinking to give a brief explanation about the why I can’t provide  ( account #) or be sure of the Poe entry, and assert that all is completed in good faith and from the best of my knowledge. 

This part 8 at first sight may save me bc I dont like to doubt or leave gray zones without honest explanation, plus it allows me to inform them about the extreme experience after the loss of hubby ( too extreme to mention here) and which part relates directly to this application. And with the pandemic it’s difficult to travel to get those papers, although still trying to do that. So if this makes sense I’ll be in time to send it. 

I also noticed that widows are absent from here, and not much info either, the pinned section is like 6 years old. 

If anyone has thoughts about this solution or have knowledge/ experience they’ll be precious!!

Thanks for taking the time to read or help as little as it can be. 

Ps I can’t afford a lawyer and good ones are rare nowadays. 

Ok for those interested, I have found a bit more closure: on nolo and a super atty site, both state there are 3 ways  to change address, online by phone and mail, no limitations - which contradicts USCIS limitation Regarding the mailing option. - also bc it appears some have issues with online applications why I prefer all stuff by mail. 

And it also clarifies that everything should be reported even the temp address. So I was incorrect to leave it blank or as mentioned elsewhere put only a stable address. 

Not sure if it may help others but wanted to share my little findings

all stay safe and well