ioukta

bump please

Oh, now we get to the heart of the matter.

You want to get married but you have this little problem of a moving target of being saved.

Neither I nor anyone else was telling you to wait the process of starting to get married. It is your faith that puts that restriction on you.

We gave you advice about the immigration process. It is your faith that is in conflict with that - not the advice you were given.

You have no right to come on here and lash out at others about that.

then you should go and read again cause I WAS told to wait before i start the process

people gave me advice on religion

man did you even read the thread at all?

eh who cares

Ciao

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

oh i got mmy answer, very good ones, exactly what i asked, that it's better to make things slower BEFORE i get the visa than after, that i can hold off on sending the 3rd package that maybe i can take the interview as late as possible, some offered advice about getting religiously married later, that was a kind advice even if i can't follow it.

i didn't know i could act on all that and that's exactly what i wanted

and Len i didn't pick and choose, i got what i needed, the religious answers had no business being there in the first place cause they were totally off topic

You have^people giving advice and people stating their opinions i was in the K1 visa process forum, opinions are not what people ask for

Let me see if I have this right.

While the answer that you wait is a perfectly viable one and would solve the problem of having to cancel or delay the visa, it was not a good answer?

You are really starting to annoy me. Your problem is not that you didn't get the information you sought. Your problem is you want fries with your burger.

Stop trying to blame this on people being aggressive and put the blame where it belongs - on yourself.

i don' really care if you're annoyed

waiting was not an option, just like if u asked what can we do to save my grandfather, pulling the plug is not an option

marriage is not fries, who are you to tell me i should wait before starting a process to get married? WHO ARE YOU

just that answer to wait was off topic, that makes it no good that's all

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

Wouldn't not starting the process until you have both been saved be a practical solution? That way you avoid having to cancel or delay any steps.

What sort of an answer would you like from us?

oh i got mmy answer, very good ones, exactly what i asked, that it's better to make things slower BEFORE i get the visa than after, that i can hold off on sending the 3rd package that maybe i can take the interview as late as possible, some offered advice about getting religiously married later, that was a kind advice even if i can't follow it.

i didn't know i could act on all that and that's exactly what i wanted

and Len i didn't pick and choose, i got what i needed, the religious answers had no business being there in the first place cause they were totally off topic

You have^people giving advice and people stating their opinions i was in the K1 visa process forum, opinions are not what people ask for

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

No it does not. Not at all.

Look - here's the deal. Every couple is different and every case is different. You have an "obstacle" to your case. It's best if you realize that up front. Many couples find similar obstacles - cultural reasons for wanting to marry in one country over the other; family pressures; criminal records; financial difficulties; etc.

This VisaJourney is a difficult one. It is easiest to understand the challenges if you get stuff down to the bottom line. No one in your thread was excessively rude to you until you decided to become offended. In my opinion, those who were asking you "invasive" questions were doing so from the standpoint that this process is difficult enough without adding an additional barrier to it. It is my opinion that you should reflect on their perspective, rather than become offended by it.

I understand it's a long road, and complicated etc... i been gathering info for 2 years now i'm on that road myself

what i don't appreciate is for people to TELL ME what marriage is what is holy and what isn't. had i been buddhist or muslim they wouldn't have said anything because it's too different, but because they have an opinion on what saved is and what marriage is i get replies telling me u get saved by doing this and by doing that ur marriage is holy and can't u get saved in america etc..... i did not ask 'hey people i'm confused as to what i have to do inGod's eyes, can you help me"

i asked specific simple questions, and you think it's normal that 90% of what's being said is about something else? you don't think it's rude? I'd never 1st of all impose my ideas on someone who didn't ask for religious advice 2nd i wouldn't say you should or do not or stuff like that it's common curtesy to not impose on such delicate subjects. isn't it?

I am even told i shouldn't start the process, i mean who asked about all that? not me !! who do people think they are to be telling someone to get married or not get married now, you don't think it's rude?

There may have been people in the thread who said "unwelcoming" things to you. It is your call to be offended by those comments or not. IMO, while some of the comments were "personal" none of them were "aggressive". Believe me, I have read far worse around here.

Bottom line is this - you did not even have to bring up your faith in your question. In fact you did not have to ask the question at all. You could have easily researched the answer as there are dozens of thread about the topic.

It was a detail so that people would get an idea of the background as to how long i would need to wait and at what point

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

and it has nothing to do with the truth i had questions, and only got answers from 4 or 5 replies. Is this a forum where only one religion is accepted? am i on the wrong site?? someone has THE TRUTH on here?

yes ms delila i agree,

you've been to my thread, you saw how it went smh

i thought this forum would be more welcoming than that and open given the whole world literally is represented here

smh nope not welcoming and agressive yeah, makes me not want to post anymore real shame, and good lord the vulgarity is incredible lol

anyway, i guess lurking is better here

ioukta -

IF your faith had nothing to do with your thread, then you did not even need to start the thread. There are dozens of threads in this community about what to do if you need to delay or cancel a visa.

Some persons in your thread asked you questions about your faith. I do not idly note that you are the one who brought up your faith. If you did not want questions about it, you should not have phrased your question as you did. You could have relied on the experience of others who had cancelled or delayed visas for whatever their reason may have been.

I think people need to stop confusing "aggressive Vj'ers" with not hearing what they want to hear.

There are people who make it a point to be offensive. There are people who are rude.

But some people just don't want to hear the truth. That is not the same as "aggression".

but you have a short time line, who's gonna listen to you?

um no i specifically put * in front of my questions and they were very specific i decided to give a detail and everybody decided to start talking about that detail like that was the problem, and like that's what i should change, how smart is that?

my questions with the * in front were only answered by 5% of the replies that does not make this forum a welcoming one

and i looked for answers but unfortunately i didn't have the right key words i guess since i didn't know anything about what to do, does that make me a bad candidate for a new thread?

In other words - her beliefs or religion have nothing to do with the process to enter the country. She needs to follow the same steps as anyone else. If her faith impedes that, then she must start over at some point - just like anyone else who "interrupts" the process by personal choice.

You have no reason at all to become offended by what I wrote.

You would not have a question about how to postpone or re-file if it were not for your faith. I have not questioned or ridiculed your faith. In fact, what I pointed out is how it is irrelevant other than it creates your predicament.

______________________________

I am offended because you writing "She needs to follow the same steps as anyone else" is like i implied i didn't need to, i never said anything about that and typing "just like anyone else' implying i thought i wasn't like anyone else

my religion was never a topic i never made it one it was just a glimps as to why i would want to wait/

You talking about laws and religion looks like i was trying to go around the law using my religion, i wasn't

RELIGION WAS NEVER A TOPIC IT WAS A DETAIL everybody wants to adress it for whatever reason when it's nobody's business

that's how i took it, adding those like everybody else sounded very extra and not useful that's all

yes ms delila i agree,

you've been to my thread, you saw how it went smh

i thought this forum would be more welcoming than that and open given the whole world literally is represented here

smh nope not welcoming and agressive yeah, makes me not want to post anymore real shame, and good lord the vulgarity is incredible lol

anyway, i guess lurking is better here

msdelia -

The INA (Immigration and Nationality Act) is a group of laws. Laws in this country are based upon the Constitution of the United States. The OP's question relates to her faith NO IT DOES NOT therefore cannot be separated from the answers. As such, the answer to the OP's question lies here.

"The First Amendment to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that expressly prohibits the United States Congress from making laws "respecting an establishment of religion" or that prohibit the free exercise of religion, infringe the freedom of speech, infringe the freedom of the press, limit the right to peaceably assemble, or limit the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Although the First Amendment only explicitly applies to the Congress, the Supreme Court has interpreted it as applying to the executive and judicial branches. Additionally, in the 20th century, the Supreme Court held that the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment applies the limitations of the First Amendment to each state, including any local government within a state."

In other words - her beliefs or religion have nothing to do with the process to enter the country. She needs to follow the same steps as anyone else. If her faith impedes that, then she must start over at some point - just like anyone else who "interrupts" the process by personal choice.

shows how much you read my posts too, my first question was about how to go about a second time around, smhhhhhhhh unbelievable. my only question was if it made a difference the second time if we do it again after getting the visa as opposed to people trying again because they didn't get it, which is different

i never implied i'd use my religion to get anything different from everybody else

man BLAH BLAH BLAH

EVERYBODY if an admin reads this i wouldn't mind if this thread could get locked it's a waste of time

thank you to everybody who gave answers to my questions, i now know what to do in case i need to thank you Thank you Ms Delia for your kind heart i feel less alone but more like an endangered specie lol

anyone interested can look up Holiness church in wikipedia i don't have to explain myself on here or defend my beliefs

ButtheadS : have fun being buttheads

First off, No one was "Persecuting your believes" I Did give you advice. I told you .......

"Don't mean to be harsh but ####### were you thinking in the first place? Why can you not be saved in America? Does god not save ppl here? So I guess you choose your fiance, or being "saved" in your country. Have fun trying to re-apply. Besides, marriage is one of the holy sacraments, you are entitled to this by god. You know you can always get baptized, receive the host and confirm yourself after you marry? You can have a civil marriage then do these steps after, leading to a "holy marriage". That my friend is not advice it's ur own opinion, which i don't follow so don't even bother

But you rather discern the negative from the positive...very Christian of you. And I did not say "Your lives are a kick in the teeth" but yes, your words are to me. Whether you choose to marginalize my feelings about this or not is really not your choice. Just like you had a choice to not write in my thread Perhaps you should read and think before getting all uppity about your religion. Personally, I do not care whether you use snakes, drink yak blood, or pay homage to a can of lima beans that's your thing,If you don't care why did you even start typing about it, let it fly it's none of your business And welcome to America you can worship the way you like here, but along with this you must understand we also have freedom of speech and it doesn't save you from being scrutinized by other members of the American population And u also have freedom to shut up something u apparently don't grasp cause u took it upon yourself to start typing in my thread but totally off topic, typical butthead <---- freedom of speech.... "I went to France a few years back and the French ppl were very kind but they defiantly had their opinions so, this should not come as shock to you. If you want advice without bias then you should hire a LAWYER thats the problem i didn't ask for advice on how i was doing things i asked about very specific things and had u read my thread i said this is NOT an open debate on religion, i even put lil * in front of them, if you read them again you'll see no mention of religion. Do not expect sympathy because you choose to post a topics in a public forum! You'll find no quarter here.

Maybe it is because I am from NY and I have a "Call it like I see it" mentality. I have posted several topics of discussion here on VJ and have less then pleasant responses to them But, I never cried about them after ppl have posted their opinions. I asked for it, and I got it.

And don't worry, I don't have it twisted guy, I was stating that "Every action has an equal or greater reaction" I didn't say you were complaining, I said Do not complain when you have problems in the future.yeah exactly and i don't appreciate it cause you do not know me so please refrain from telling me what to do or not do Your situation seems to have a relatively easy fix. So be prepared for what you do. What if god never comes to you? What if god doesn't work in 6 month time frames? This is why I told you to come to America and have a civil marriage first then have a holy marriage. But again, you decided on taking the "Poor me, no one wants to understand my religion" path. i never said poor me, basically don't try to understand my faith with ur itty bitty lil mind it won't work, and i don't have to take your advice

And also, if you are truly a man of faith why are you asking all these questions? Do you not believe that god will give you a divine path to follow? Sounds like you are second guessing him......... again u're trying to understand something u can't even wrap ur mind around, i'm not a man either, shows how much u pay attention or think before you type, my visa specific questions had NOTHING to do with God but how would u understand that helping myself first works too, it's like talking to a child and i ain't got time for u

If you believe you are close but not quite ready you can delay the interview, just have to talk to the consulate about extending your NOA2. Extending your visa may be risky, as a few have mentioned if they do not do the extension your only choices really are to do the marriage before you are saved, or to reapply with a waiver, so trying to extend BEFORE the visa is issued might be a safer idea, but they will only do that for so long.

I hope the enlightenment you seek reaches you quickly so as to make the process easier.

yes it has thank you very much, i didn't think of that, the interview or keeping a package a lil longer that's exactly what i was looking for thank you, really thank you

There are some evangelical Christian sects that believe you are not "saved" until you receive the Holy Spirit, which is manifested by certain physical signs such as speaking in tongues. In their belief, you must show these signs before you can consider yourself "saved". They also believe that you can't make these signs appear - you can only pray and wait for it to happen.

ha well there are several "sects" like that and mine is called Holiness lol and that's exactly what we believe and yeah we're often mistaken for evangelical i always wondered why, now i know why thank you Jim

Goodness that's what i get for mentioning saved lol i knew i shouldn't have

For the last time we are 28 and close enough that WE DECIDED to start the process

our lives are not a kick in the teeth of anyone, if we DON'T get married people will be happy here i guess and say "ha that's what you get" big deal won't make me lose sleep

I'm not gonna apologize for having a different religion than the people here being "outraged" at my decision. I know what i'm doing in regards to what MY religion says. between my pastor and this forum I'll listen to my pastor cause if it was this forum i'd be all the religions in the world lol so where would i go from there? this is why my question was NOOOOOOOOT about religion OOOOOOOOOR about our decision. Did anyone notice that? man only a small portion did! Even though i wrote it several times!

Why do you make up stuff in your head, second time i see something about complaining, who here is complaining, you don't know me from adam but you tell me what to do already? don't come complaining? go grab a coke and chill you don't know me like that

I am just asking how can i try to delay it just like anyone that had a sick parent, a problem with a house or a work issue would . that's a kick at anyone? I did not ask for advice on my life, no one thought they were rude here when i absolutely didn't ask about that? Do people think I'm 12? or were born yesterday? or thought maybe id read answers and go "oh wow i didn't see it like that, you are sooooooo right!!! let me change my whole religion now that you've typed on a computer and told me what was right and what wasn't!!!!" we're in the K1 process forum not the relationship forum

No one said i was going to throw it away, if you had read me i said we just might go ahead IF the timing is right enough for us. which would be? yes ! OUR DECISION What now you guys are gonna decide whether we fit your standards enough to start the process or not? and if not, we're not welcome here? what kind of deal is that? and people think i didn't think of it ? look at the date i first came here, when i registered may 07 2 years ago ! i did think of it before, don't get it twisted. But you guys lived your life and i lived mine.

Now i'd like to thank all the ones that either sympathised or answered my questions, offered help about what i really asked, or offered other advice politely and humbly which shows they were obvioulsy comfortable enough in their own lives to not be offended or threatened or envious at my situation.

For the rest i can't help you if you think you're influencial enough that i'll live my life through your advice

To answer your question Msu 17 For us being saved is more of a whole way of life with proofs of change than just a personal decision and we dont see it as random.

and to answer yours Marnaam we thought of that too but it would be too complicated for us since we can't live together before we're married and i heard that could be a problem for the authorities thinking it was a fake marriage but thank you for your help and not judging that was a good idea.

Hello,

i was sent here basically to ask, how did you get your interview date?

do you chose it? is it imposed? How does Paris handle this? you receive a letter? a phone call? can you move the date further? has anyone tried to call them? last time i did it cost 15 euros to ask a question lool

also

who has a self employed USC? what did you give? has anyone got a self employed USC that hasn't made enough money in the past and just started making it ?

my USC is a self employed insurance agent although he's paid by the commission i guess he can have letters from the companies that pay him...

can I hear experiences with that?

This self employed thing is so nerve racking, cause we don't want to ask his parents to be sponsors, at 28 way to cut off his balls when they haven't been supportive of his carreer

Ok please dear kind people

let's focus here

I'm not asking for advice on my plans or reasons lol I have them and we ARE well aware of the waste of time or money... but this is NOT what i asked

i asked how would i go about either pushing the date on the same visa or redoing the same thing over again, if the fact we were accepted before counts or not

had it been any other reason like a sick relative or moving problem no one would have said anything lol the first part is not what i need help with, that's between me and my fiance lol

now that this is clear

i keep hearing about the interview, i don't even know how that comes about? a letter? a phone call? I have the choice of the date to an extent? that could be good

It's kind of a consulate specific thing. Some consulates give you a date a couple of months out. If you don't like it, you can ask for a different date, and they'll give you one a couple of months later. If you still don't like it, they'll tell you tough luck - only one reschedule.

Other consulates are much more flexible, and will pretty much let you pick any date that works for you. Your best bet is to post the question in the regional forum for Europe and see what other people say about your consulate.

One of the toughest parts about this whole process is that you're at the mercy of the government's schedule, so it's really difficult to make any concrete plans. At any point along the way they can throw up another roadblock - RFE, AP, whatever - that will throw off the timing once again. It's doubly difficult in your case because you're trying to coordinate two floating windows of time. This is why people are recommending you at least get one of these two windows nailed down and taken care of first.

Good luck!

Thank you very much that's a good idea

It's all just in case, like i said we might just go along with the visa and follow our plans later, decide to be together first... we're not getting any younger lol

Ok please dear kind people

let's focus here

I'm not asking for advice on my plans or reasons lol I have them and we ARE well aware of the waste of time or money... but this is NOT what i asked

i asked how would i go about either pushing the date on the same visa or redoing the same thing over again, if the fact we were accepted before counts or not

had it been any other reason like a sick relative or moving problem no one would have said anything lol the first part is not what i need help with, that's between me and my fiance lol

now that this is clear

i keep hearing about the interview, i don't even know how that comes about? a letter? a phone call? I have the choice of the date to an extent? that could be good

Yeah, well, whatever. Sounds like a tough choice. "Saved" or not, the visa expires 6 months from issuance so decide what is more important to you and go with it. If you choose your religious convictions over the visa process then be a good Christian soldier and don't whine about it.

um who's whining?

i only asked questions on how to go about it a second time around, just like anyone who would have missed their date for any other reasons.

Thank u for answering mine partially. u mentioned postponing the interview, how would i do that? can you tell me?

@ JimVaPhuong hehe u never know I just might ask for that once everything else is clear lol

I'm no expert, but I'd say wait until you've been 'saved' and then start the process. (I'm not quite sure what the heck that means though? Can you enlighten me/us?) I'd figure if you're not at a stage in your life where you want to/can get married... wait until you're there, then start the process rather than second guessing timing. Saying that you "think" you'll "probably" be saved by then just sounds a little risky to me.

I'm very much like you... I plan ahead for anything and everything. I just think the best plan would be to wait until you're 'saved' and then go for it... that way you won't have any nagging doubts in the back of your mind and would minimise any chance of problems down the line.

We've thought of that, but we are at a point in our lives when we can't wait to get married, both 28 together for almost 4 years. we might get married before getting saved we don't know for sure yet, i just want to make sure we know our choices.

I really mean 90% sure we'll be fine. (Being saved for us is having the indwelling of the Holy Ghost, basically we follow scriptures)

From the date of petition is filing, to issuance of visa takes about seven months...isn't that enough time to be saved?

Once you have the visa in hand, you have 6 months to use it (move to the US) and once here, 90 days to marry...i don't think there's a way to extend the 6 month visa validity. Your option may be to postpone the date of the visa interview, if you're not ready, or postpone the issuance of the visa. Both of these are issues which you should discuss with the visa issuing consulate.

Oh we're 90% sure it'll be enough, but i'm a big time worrier and planner and personal assistant extraordinaire looool i just want to make sure i know what to do in case of virtually anything

I need to know the what ifs

so u mention postpone the interview ? how can i do thaT? or the insuance, i'm sorry i'm very new, how would i do that? write to someone? at my embassy in Paris we can't ask questions on the phone, well we can but it costs 15 Euros or for free u need an appointment, u suggest i do thaT? or wait until i'm contacted for the interview? or somehting?

Hello,

We're this close to send the package, I'd say few weeks a month tops.

I was wondering, I'm the French fiancee and i know i have 6 months to move to the US from the time i have the visa.... what if... I don't go in 6 months?

*If i let the date pass by what happens? and how do i go about trying to get another visa with the same person? or can i ask for more time?

Here's the deal, my fiance and i want to get married, but we believe in being saved before getting married. Not only that, but we believe in receiving the Holy Ghost to get saved. And that will be all God's timing.

Now on the practical side : what happens if we're not both saved yet when the date to move comes? We want to try now cause it takes so much time for the papers anyway that we think we'll probably be saved by then. But if not, and since we want to get married together we'll try again another fiance visa...

*the fact we petitioned already does it change anything for the second time around?

*the fact it's cause of dates and timeframes instead of being denied the visa does it change something?

So yeah there are my questions with the (*).

Of course this is not an open debate on religion lool just looking for practical answers

Thank you so much for your help everybody, i love this forum it's a gold mine

Aurelie

So are you marrying a US citizen? I'm confused. If you are just trying to become an LPR, try posting on the forum for bringing over family members of USC or greencard holder since most of us dont know ANYTHING about what you are going through That SUCKS you couldnt get US citizenship through your father though... Good luck!

hi, yes i am marrying a US citizen, hence the post here lool

i started the LPR papers before knowing i was gonna want to marry a USC, and between waiting +4 years and a few months, i choose a few months lol

all i was wondering is if i needed to mention it somewhere in the first pack or at the interview? when? i'm sure i have to mention it at some point...

bump

bump bump

bump please?