Char2424

7 hours ago, Juniper said:

That's really helpful to know.

 

So what's the word on the second issue that was part of the 2018 changed rules that got reversed regarding when you can get your N-426 Certification of Honorable Military Service?

 

Background: Before rules change (and hopefully now) you can get this document one day on active duty after basic training. The 2018 rules change made it a 180 day active duty requirement to get the N-426, which is needed for N-400 naturalization documents. 

 

And also, was a more simplified background check have to be successfully completed before getting ship out to boot camp orders?

 

Thanks to all those immigrants who are serving !!!  Really want to hear what you know on these moving target subjects.

I honeslty have not found a clear answer abkut naturalization. My recruiter thought Id be naturalized by the time I leave bootcamp, now I know that's not true anymore, even tho we are still in time of war. Then i read somewhere you need to be on active orders fir a 180 days (which, my training would be)... but i just hear different things. I will bring my documents. And just see. 

I am not sure what the background check actually entails,  i know they have contacted my employers. I also know that i had to have a shipping day 120 days (if I remember well) after I swore in where some citizens here can ship out way earlier. 

10 minutes ago, Juniper said:

 

 

 

Any Green Card holders enlisting out there shipping to boot camp or not?

Hi.

Yes, I enlisted February 1st, and i am shipping out to bootcamp July 3rd (Army National Guard)

Anything new? So did they, or did they not,  start shipping LPR's to bootcamp? 

6 hours ago, KozmicBlues said:

I'm really sorry you are dealing with that! Sounds like you are a good person just based on what you've written here, especially caring so much about the stepchildren. Just curious...are the stepchildren your reason for wanting to stay in the US even if the marriage doesn't work out? It always makes me wonder why people who came to the US for a spouse get divorced still want to stay (which is totally their right to do). If I were in that situation I would want to go back to my home country to be around my friends and family, not stick around a place that reminded me of a dissolved marriage. But I'm the USC, so maybe that's just the subconscious privilege speaking. 😁

 

Anyway, in all seriousness - I think you should do what's best for YOU. If staying in the marriage any longer will be detrimental to your own personal life and well-being and there is absolutely no way to reconcile, then you should divorce. Follow the advice about a waiver and be honest and transparent about what happened. Either way, I hope it all works out for you!

The kids are not the only reason I'd want to stay. But now that they have been in my life for 4 something years they definitely are the top reason. 

Now if my wife wouldn't have had kids, I probably still wouldve wanted to stay. Been here for about 10 years now. It's all I know. All my friends are here and I built my life here. 

Yes currently trying to figure out what's going to be best for ME... and I'll work around that. 

It's still nerve wrecking tho, on top of the heartbreak. When it rains, it pours right? 

7 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

OP said his wife met this person while in rehab/an inpatient facility, so I took it to mean said person is/was still there after wife left. Some of those places may not have means to communicate outside the facility other than letters.

 

OP - this is a sad story to hear. I always hate hearing about beneficiaries who come here with legitimate intentions, and sacrifice everything they do just to have it fall apart. Best of luck to you.

Yes that's where they met :(. SShe got some phone calls from people she met there. But then also a lot of letters from said person... later from jail 

5 hours ago, NoProblem said:

Mother of two who brought OP to the US, made all the effort all of sudden start to sleep with other folks and somehow is this evil monster.  We should advise folks to somehow work the relationship and salvage it the best they can.  Most times we have a one sided story and we are quick to advise folks to divorce etc and file for ROC.  I personally really dont like to see relationships broken.

Believe me, I tried to salvage the relationship. But you need 2 for this. I dont want to say she is evil (I still.love her)...everyone else would say different. 

Anyhow, right now its not a matter of salvaging things. We did counseling... I tried for months... its beyond that at this point. 

7 hours ago, NoProblem said:

Who stays in relationship through letters nowadays.  Seems like this was written in the 90s.

I just now saw where this letter confusion came from. 

Yes. She stayed in touch with the woman through letters. First from rehab, more recently from jail... the woman got arrested for burglary after leaving rehab... (what a mess I know). I took pictures one night of some of the letters, but couldnt get myself to open them. So not sure what the content of the letters was. At that point my wife had already admitted to sleeping with her at rehab. 

2 hours ago, Chocobo said:

OP - how long as she been clean and sober?  Are you 100% sure she is clean and sober?  Addiction makes people do really stupid things (as evidenced by her leaving you and the kids to go on a 2 week binge), so I would make sure that you are confident in what you're looking at.  

 

As she has kids who you are quite attached to, and they you from what you're saying, I would consult with a family attorney who is familiar with immigration (or has someone in their practice who is familiar with immigration law.)  If you have not adopted her children, then you have no legal standing to remain in contact with them if she doesn't want you to be.   (I'm very sorry to have to say that.)    

 

In the meantime, if you are looking at divorce - document document document!  This will help with both the immigration side and the divorce side.  

 

I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

As far as a I know she is sober now. Finding her 'high' in other things...such as working all the time and sleeping around. 

Unfortunately I have no legal standing with the kids... if something really were supposed to go wrong they would go to their dad or her mom...her mom already has custody over my wife's kids...also addiction. 

Luckily it seems like she wants me to be in touch with them...which makes me really happy. I'm hoping we can stay cordial, even tho that has shown to be hard some of the time...especially with my hurt. 

Yeah I will try to document things. In retrospect I should've started way sooner, but I never would've imagined I'd need to... I was happily married... 

3 hours ago, NoProblem said:

Initially it was way too off for me to think anyone communicated with their lovers via. letters nowadays so i was not sure about the legitimacy of the initial post.  I though OP just wanted to get out of the relationship, salvage his GC and asking for advise on how to do it the least risky way.  I would not be nice if I suspect a fraud.

Not sure where you get that from. 

It definitely was a legitimate marriage. And I think I have a lot of proof. But I dont want to make mistakes going through this process. 

Not sure what the thing about the letters is. She was allowed to make a phone call in the morning and in the evening. She mostly talked to her kids then. 

I mailed her care packages. She wrote me one letter, and it was very upsetting...and I didnt keep it (not thinking at that point we would be where we are now). 

Ofcourse I am worried about my greencard. Not only am I dealing with losing my family here, I also have to worry about my GC. Believe me when I say I rather didnt... things are hard enough as they are now. 

Hi,

freaking out a little bit.

I met my now wife in 2014. We married in November 2016 and I got my greencard in August 2017. We lived happily together in a house with her two kids whom I love very much. I was happily married (for the most part), until I discovered she had cheated on me, and procceeded to go on a two week drinking/drug/ cheating binge, leaving me behind. At the end of the weeks, one of her good friends confronted her and she realized she needed help. I took her to an inpatient rehab center, and I stayed home with her two kids, taking care of everything, hoping things would get better. 

When she came home, she was sober and motivated to stay sober, but ofcourse things weren't the same. I tried working on things, still loving my wife to pieces. Then I discovered she also cheated on me while being in rehab and continued to have a relationship with that person (through letters). That's the day I decided to move out. Since then, we have been in touch, for the kids, trying te reconcile, and even gone to marriage counseling. But at the end of the day she says she does not want to be with me. She says she loves me, but is not infatuated with me anymore (this is another story, that makes me mad). 

She agreed to stay married to me until I could get my conditions removed... but it is becoming a burden, as my financials have suffered because of her... she is a complete different person I once knew. 

I don't know what to do at this point. File for a divorce? And get a waiver? Or stick it out... even though we wouldn't have good proof of the last 5 months of us being in a happy marriage... 

I am terrified of losing my stepkids... I love them and still have a great relationship with them. I just dont know what to do. And/or what my changes are of getting the waiver approved. I know we entered the marriage in good faith. There is plenty of proof (proof we also used when filing for the greencard). My family came for the wedding, I have a great relationship with her family, and her kids. I also know that almost everyone would testify for me about her wrong-doing. 

Man, it just sucks that not only I'm going through this rough time in my life, on top of it I have to be worried about immigration...

Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be welcome.

3 hours ago, Starkilla09 said:

I’m sorry you’re going through this fiasco in your marriage. Though everything is falling apart now there are still possibilities regarding your immigration status. If you really want out of this marriage then you will have to file a divorce waiver I-751 and also file for divorce. USCIS will RFE you the divorce decree which you will have to submit when divorce is finalized. If you have documentary evidence as you say, you should be able to successfully remove conditions without her. Many people actually do and it’s has a pretty high approval rate. If you decide to stick it with her then you will have to file joint, but keep in mind removing condidions now takes at least 1 year and could drag up to 24 months.  

What evidence is more important? The fact she commited adultery? Or all the other things...
I can get evidence I paid for her rehab, and we went to counseling, and we had accounts togethers, and I am close to the kids... I also know that anyone would testify for me, including her friends. 

It all just makes me very anxious, never thought I would be in this position.

3 hours ago, little immigrant said:

I'm sorry you're going through this and this happened to you. 

 

First you need to decide whether you want to stick it out or divorce. Then you know which way to file your I-751. Don't just stay married for immigration benefits. 

 

Make sure you collect evidence for your application so you have it ready and don't need to struggle when it's time to file. I know you said you have it but make sure it's actually in your possession in case you move out. 

 

Good luck with everything. 

Yeah, I am sorry too. Life can take some weird turns sometimes.

What kind of evidence are you talking about? Evidence that she cheated on me? Or evidence of our legit marriage? 

We are already living seperate at this point.

Hi,

I am joining this forum because I am freaking out a little bit.

I met my now wife in 2014. We married in November 2016 and I got my greencard in August 2017. We lived happily together in a house with her two kids whom I love very much. I was happily married (for the most part), until I discovered she had cheated on me, and procceeded to go on a two week drinking/drug/ cheating binge, leaving me behind. At the end of the weeks, one of her good friends confronted her and she realized she needed help. I took her to an inpatient rehab center, and I stayed home with her two kids, taking care of everything, hoping things would get better. 

When she came home, she was sober and motivated to stay sober, but ofcourse things weren't the same. I tried working on things, still loving my wife to pieces. Then I discovered she also cheated on me while being in rehab and continued to have a relationship with that person (through letters). That's the day I decided to move out. Since then, we have been in touch, for the kids, trying te reconcile, and even gone to marriage counseling. But at the end of the day she says she does not want to be with me. She says she loves me, but is not infatuated with me anymore (this is another story, that makes me mad). 

She agreed to stay married to me until I could get my conditions removed... but it is becoming a burden, as my financials have suffered because of her... she is a complete different person I once knew. 

I don't know what to do at this point. File for a divorce? And get a waiver? Or stick it out... even though we wouldn't have good proof of the last 5 months of us being in a happy marriage... 

I am terrified of losing my stepkids... I love them and still have a great relationship with them. I just dont know what to do. And/or what my changes are of getting the waiver approved. I know we entered the marriage in good faith. There is plenty of proof (proof we also used when filing for the greencard). My family came for the wedding, I have a great relationship with her family, and her kids. I also know that almost everyone would testify for me about her wrong-doing. 

Man, it just sucks that not only I'm going through this rough time in my life, on top of it I have to be worried about immigration...

Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be welcome.