contrapuntal62

On 6/26/2018 at 5:03 PM, Rocko20 said:

How do you know you want to marry this person if you haven't even met yet?

That is a good question, and I would say:

I do not want to marry this person without meeting her, because I really can't and it would. We plan to meet and spend time together, get engaged, then set a date, and then get married--just the same process as most marriages.

However, anybody can "want" or desire anything, and those thoughts/feelings may feel very convincing, but they are not facts. A desire exists in a person's mind, and not until they act upon it does it involve facts.

But if one were to ask me "Do you think you and Mary will get married?" I would say "yes." But that is still a thought/desire, and not a fact.

If by some strange twist of fate, Zoë Isabella Kravitz contacted me and said she wanted to marry me, can you understand how I would "want" to marry her, even though we had not met yet?

2 minutes ago, missileman said:

Question-  How does she feel about you moving there to live? 

Great question. Actually, we have a very specific 5 year plan shared goal that will be a long term proposition, and that is here in a Western state. We have very specific goals here. As in PLan A, PLan B, PLan B1.a etc.

Living at all there would be very short term and only if needed in an extreme situation. But simply for exploring ideas--I try my best to keep an open mind. I pay attention to the road signs, and the open doors, so to speak. Or I try to do my best I suppose. Like most people.

But life does not, even when dreams unfold, always happen on our chosen timeline, or conform to our project plans. Adaptability is an underappreciated character asset IMHO. We both agree we are taking chances on a level we have never done before. We also agree we are completely worth the uphill climb. We both run. We understand endurance from that perspective, and it helps with a long term mindset. This is not a camping trip. This is a major expedition, and not for the faint of heart IMHO.

My Dad was married for over 50 years to the most beautifully amazing person, my Mother. Even though he "likes" if you will, and feels very positive about Mary, he does point out the expense. "How can you be willing to risk this investment in getting her over here?" he asks.

I replied "Knowing the life you lived over 50 years with Mom, how much would you have paid to meet her? what was the dollar value of meeting her?" He could not answer

I think that an unanswerable question for the romantic. Maybe not for the pragmatic. I know I could never answer such a question. How can one put a value on a person, an experience, half a lifetime together? A love?

Zi Gong asked, "Is there a single saying that we can put into action throughout our lives?" Confucius said, "Perhaps putting oneself in the other's place. What you don't wish for yourself, don't do to others." ----Analects

3 minutes ago, NigeriaorBust said:

but the original USC petitioner is on the hook the affidavit of support even if the sweet young thing gets her man here.   That is for 40 quarters of work credit and that could be life if miss sweet thing never works.  

Thank you for those details.

On 6/25/2018 at 10:36 PM, geowrian said:

If she can obtain a tourist visa (56.18% refusal rate last fiscal year from Ghana), then she can visit and you can marry and start the visa process fine that way, too.

Yes, and if she visits on a tourist visa and then we subsequently marry in USA, doesn't she have to fly right back home after, and then we start the petition?

26 minutes ago, Boiler said:

The common one we see here is get married to a USC, get GC get divorced petition your SO and everybody gets in.

ah--now I see. Thank you for the MO profile.

2 hours ago, NigeriaorBust said:

   High fraud countries have their cases looked at more closely because of the length that people will go to get to the US from those places.  I recently had a older friend that had gotten into online sites while waiting for a divorce and wanted some visa advise about a young nursing student from Ghana named Bernice he had been chatting with.   I smelled a rat and started poking .  She was a nursing student on the site he used,  a teaching student on another ,  a police cadet on a third , single on all , but on yet another site had posted pictures of her family including her man.   Saved him the cost of a trip.  She tried to deny everything to keep him hooked ( yes he was ready to run over and do what it took to bring her back when he approached me )  But it is that sort of stuff that makes them  check out everything.  They will assume your lady is just like Bernice. 

Thank you for your input.

So exactly how was Bernice committing fraud? In other words, what was she hoping to get or what was she getting from all of these men, cash? marriage ?--. If he was ready to run over there, what did she intend to happen? A Cr-1, she gets married, moves to states, then leaves him? Or did she just want to live off the combined donations from these men? What is the end goal?

I know there are repercussions if one does not marry within 90 days on the K-1 (the person goes back home), but on the CR-1 are there likewise repercussions to dissuade/prevent fraud?

Yes, I was able to find many young female fraudsters (or charges of fraud) doing pretty simple searches, so I have no doubt as to their existence. On some dating sites, I think the fraudsters are glaringly obvious.

6 minutes ago, David & Zoila said:

You really are a cocky person.  People here are trying to help you and you keep giving wise answers and "providing proof" that the person helping you is wrong.  What do you need us for?  You apparently know everything...including acronyms....

1. I do not take the as an insult--the ad hominem "cocky--because you do not even know me.

2. I did not mean that question sarcastically, but seriously. What I was trying to say was that there are many places (that was a site another member sent to me) that simply do not reflect Ghana reality with generalizations like " "Most immigrants from high fraud countries have a better chance of being approved for a spouse visa."

I was confirming to O&GForever that her personal experience, and that of the others here is way more valuable than generalizations. If I did not make that clear, mea culpa,but no need for personal attacks--I have thanked how many members so far? and I have intentionally insulted how many so far?--and to what advantage would that be for me? I think you totally misunderstood that post, and maybe others as well. I have NEVER in any post here sought to personally insult someone by calling them names. That is not me.

5 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Yup, it's the NCLEX. That said, note that this isn't jsut something where she can schedule the exam, pass, and be done with it. One must first qualify for the NCLEX, which almost always involves Credential Verification (CV). This process took a few months for my now-wife (she's an RN) even with paying an extra $300 for an expedite.

They may also require passing an standardized English Proficiency exam, if the classes were not in English.

Thank you so much. Personally, we have agreed that our financial goal is to live off of one salary (mine) for up to the first year if needed. I can do this when the time comes, and it is not a problem as  my income will be fine. (Well of course, I cannot predict the future). In other words, we already have monthly expenditure budget agreements/understandings for rent, car payments etc. Fortunately--she is really good with numbers as I am not.

She speaks perfectly fine English with a most addictive and alluring African accent (not SA> just A) and was educated in English.

2 minutes ago, EandH0904 said:

Its the NCLEX exam - there are different medications, procedures, a ton of different things. 

There are NCLEX books you can take one for her to study. 

Thank you so much--yes--the NCLEX. Oh Ghana is so much is different in almost every way--but I understand--my ex is medical technologist (MT)--her entire world will change when she gets here.

1 hour ago, O&GForever said:

Having been through the Ghana embassy myself, I would highly recommend multiple trips and to stay as long as you can. I made 5 trips in 2 1/2 years in order to get my husband here. You're facing a very challenging embassy, so be prepared with plenty of good, quality evidence. I would highly recommend reading through the Ghana portal and the Consulate reviews to get a good understanding of the challenge you will be up against. 

 

Which visa path you choose is up to you. The process is shorter, but it will cost more and your fiance won't be able to work until after you're married and she receives an Employee Authorization. I've seen quite a few K1s approved recently through that embassy. That said history shows K1s are less likely to get approved in Ghana than a CR1. 

 

The CR1 will take a longer time, but she will get her greencard soon after arriving and can work immediately. 

 

Either way like I said earlier, plan to make multiple trips, collect a lot of good evidence to send in with your petition (frontloading) and prepare well. 

Again thanks. So when I read a statement like this "Most immigrants from high fraud countries have a better chance of being approved for a spouse visa." I can discount it  http://mypathtocitizenship.com/which-countries-are-on-the-uscis-high-fraud-list/

2 hours ago, EandH0904 said:

As a nurse myself, keep in mind her degree will be useless in the US. Unless she went to a US accredited nursing school she will not be eligible to sit for the boards here.  I have seen many foreign trained nurses (and physicians!) Have to start over here. 

I could not find any US accredited schools in Ghana. There are a few stating they are internationally accredited but US doesnt accept that certification.

 

If you cannot afford to travel for several months you need to look at all expenses involved in each petition, the fact that Ghana is a more difficult country to get a Visa from, and if you meet the income requirements. As you have a lot of time before you travel you have plenty of time to research pros and cons of CR1 vs K1

I just spoke to a person at the Texas Board of Nursing. From what I read every state is different in it's laws.

Texas Board of Nursing (BON)
333 Guadalupe, Suite 3-460
Austin, TX 78701-3944
512-305- 7400; fax: 512-305- 7401
http://www.bon.state.tx.us/

I asked this question "If a new graduate with a Bachelors in Nursing moves from Ghana to Texas, what are the conditions under which she would be able to work as a nurse, or can she work at all? Will she have to get a brand new degree here?"

She read from a canned response. It was very specific:

"She has to have gotten her degree, or worked as a nurse there in her home country within the last 4 years.

She has to take the accreditation (I do not have the long acronym right now) test and pass."

That is it--precisely (but for the acronym). But thanks for the heads up. I thought I had already resolved/researched that issue a month ago--and do believe I did, but today was the first time I called the Texas Nursing Board instead of my local nursing school to find out.

1 hour ago, O&GForever said:

Having been through the Ghana embassy myself, I would highly recommend multiple trips and to stay as long as you can. I made 5 trips in 2 1/2 years in order to get my husband here. You're facing a very challenging embassy, so be prepared with plenty of good, quality evidence. I would highly recommend reading through the Ghana portal and the Consulate reviews to get a good understanding of the challenge you will be up against. 

 

Which visa path you choose is up to you. The process is shorter, but it will cost more and your fiance won't be able to work until after you're married and she receives an Employee Authorization. I've seen quite a few K1s approved recently through that embassy. That said history shows K1s are less likely to get approved in Ghana than a CR1. 

 

The CR1 will take a longer time, but she will get her greencard soon after arriving and can work immediately. 

 

Either way like I said earlier, plan to make multiple trips, collect a lot of good evidence to send in with your petition (frontloading) and prepare well. 

Wow--thank you so much for those details. spending the most time there and its importance will be an enormous consideration for mt new career opportunities. When I get an offer I will discuss this as #1 issue, and use it as a bargaining chip

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Have you considered moving?

I am considering anything because I do not plan on anything preventing me from seeing her. I am in for the mountain climb of my life for sure.

55 minutes ago, O&GForever said:

Its good that you can go back often in the new year. You should plan on that. It's very unlikely she will be able to get a tourist visa to come to the U.S. Ghana rarely gives tourist visas in general and if they do its to older people who are more established and likely to return home.

 

There have been several articles lately showing the issue of Ghanaian receiving tourist visas and abusing the privilege by not leaving the U.S. If I remember right, the articles says of the 16,000 tourist visas issued through the Ghana embassy a year about 7,000 don't return to the country. So unfortunately people there have made it almost impossible for others. 

thank you so much for the insight. this forum has lots of good members

46 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

The chat logs are nice but you need the face to face time with lots of photos and proof of trips to see each other.

oh yes i understand that completely

1 hour ago, adil-rafa said:

you may have to prove how u met / has been asked for any times so i would suggest one of go back to the site and make a copy of original messages

these r the high fraud countries

http://mypathtocitizenship.com/which-countries-are-on-the-uscis-high-fraud-list/

That would be impossible I am rather certain. We met on a small special interest dating site, Within about 15  minutes, we communicated through google chat on Day 1. It was a free service so I do not even have financial record of that. She had been a member for a very short time when we met and I doubt she paid for her membership either (you got many perks for payment) I had been a member for about 1.5 years but never paid it much attention at all. 

However I have all of those chat records, photos sent etc from the very first communication past "Hi"------ I do believe I calculated at this rate I will have over 500 pages in about a month or 2 more. Of course if this will take a year it will be thousands of pages by then (in MS Word, single spaced, 12 point Times New Roman)

However, I have all

5 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Spontaneous marriages do certainly happen. And couples who engage in them absolutely can get a visa. I'm just pointing out that a marriage on a first visit is a red flag in determining if a relationship or marriage is real or just for immigration benefits.

 

I suggest looking around the posts on the Ghana portal (http://www.visajourney.com/portals/index.php?country=Ghana). There's 3 posts since Thursday about denials due to suspected fraud. That should shed at least some light on what types of evidence one should have / what circumstances cause additional scrutiny.

Note that any time you see "reaffirmed", it means the visa was denied the first time (almost always due to a lack of a bona fide marriage), sent back to USCIS, then reviewed again and being sent back to the embassy for another interview.

Thank you very much. And is there an acronyms def. or faq page here somewhere ?-as there are an awful lot floating around and even for a techie person.

29 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Provide evidence at the time of filing, more/ new evidence at the NVC stage, then more/new evidence at the interview.

In short, all the evidence counts, but the more you put upfront, the more the CO will see before the interview. Ghana COs are often suspected of making a decision (or at least form a very strong opinion) before the interview, so putting the best foot forward is critical.

Thank you--I already tried an advanced search on the word spontaneous with little result. How is this spontaneous marriage supposed to happen? Or does it need to be spontaneous? And where is this requirement in writing on an official document? Or is this just myth, or only so if we get married in the states via her travel visa or what? I am totally confused on this spontaneous meeting/marriage issue.

3 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Provide evidence at the time of filing, more/ new evidence at the NVC stage, then more/new evidence at the interview.

In short, all the evidence counts, but the more you put upfront, the more the CO will see before the interview. Ghana COs are often suspected of making a decision (or at least form a very strong opinion) before the interview, so putting the best foot forward is critical.

Sincere thanks. The note about Ghana CO's is interesting. They assume every female there is a grifter? that also happens to have a Bachelors in Nursing? This is not a 19 year old girl--this is a mature lady--over the age of 30.

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Eek...Ghana is one of the highest fraud countries for a US visa. They are notoriously difficult. Note that this isn't to discourage you at all, and many people do get a K-1 or CR-1 visa from Ghana, but you really need to focus on presenting a strong case.

 

There are services like RapidVisa, but but they basically just help with the paperwork. The guides section here and the instructions explain the process pretty well....many people here DIY.

Note that they can help with the paperwork, but the facts remain facts and that's really what it will end up coming down to.

 

CR-1 is less risky and much fewer steps overall. There's a few extra steps at NVC with a CR-1, but it avoid all the paperwork involved with doing AOS after arrival in the US on the K-1 (I-485, I-131, I-765, I-864), avoids another biometrics appointment, avoid another interview where they go over your case, another 7-18+ months of waiting for the green card, etc.

 

Also, as noted, if there's an issue and the visa gets denied and petition sent back to the US, a K-1 dies and you have to start all over. A CR-1 can be reaffirmed.

Thank you so much for clarifying the details. So now my question becomes, if I go Cr-1 and first visit marriages are highly suspect. I still do not understand the insanity of the "fraud assumption" but I feel that I am right at home in Brazil feeling now (the movie of a totalitarian society that outlaws love). SO how many visits before we can marry, or should she get a travel visa and we get married in USA and she returns--which is safest? most likely to get approved?

8 minutes ago, milimelo said:

Well then you can’t start anything until you meet. If money is tight get a second job (or a better paying one) and think about your prospective partner - she’ll expect to send money to family when she’s in the US. 

Respectfully, I do not need employment, career , or investment advice and certainly not relationship/money advice--I need immigration advice. You make some assumptions of our situation using insufficient info.

However you are absolutely correct about "starting something" only when I can afford the visit. My other question is ----do the visits we have after I submit the initial paperwork--is that beneficial too, or is it only visitation before starting the process that counts?

5 minutes ago, geowrian said:

K-3 is obsolete so don't bother with that.

For the K-1, you can meet then file.

For a CR-1. you can met then marry and file. Generally, I would suggest a CR-1 over a K-1. The only advantage (assuming no near-adult children) is the K-1 takes a couple months less time to process. Otherwise, the CR-1 is superior in every way (cheaper, faster green card, can work and travel right away, ability to reaffirm a petition, etc.).

 

That said...getting engaged or married on the first visit is a red flag. Time spent in person is important, especially if they are from a high fraud country (not sure which country she is from).

Either way, more visits and face time during the processing is highly recommended.

 

K-1: ~8-12 months form filing to interview, on average

CR-1: ~12-16 months from filing to interview, on average.

I do not know what countries are considered "high fraud" or by whom. She lives in Ghana.

I am liking my original idea of getting married in the USA after she arrives within 90 days after these 2 initial replies. I will be able to afford to support her at that point--no problem at all until she gets green card.

And I do think there are medical orgs that hunt for overseas talent and assisting with immigration. Does anybody know of such organizations in the USA?

Starting in January we will be able to meet about very 3 months if I can continue to fly there or she gets a tourist visa just for a visit.

I am seeing the CR-1 as maybe too risky as I do not completely understand it and the implications. The K-1 is pretty cut and dried and I have read thru all of the forms as well as the things needed for CYA documentation.

(I have 10 years of tech writing experience--so the written word--professionally speaking--and persuasion in speech/written word is at least one little arrow in my quiver.)

6 minutes ago, milimelo said:

Forget about K-3 s it’s rarely given (~38 total given last year). Either K-1 or CR-1 but decide only after going to visit her - face time is important. 

 

Which West African country is she from? 

Ghana. I cannot afford travel there until January. She is a college student on a very tight budget.

she lives in West Africa. We met on an obscure special shared interest dating website. (We both deleted our accounts within a couple days of meeting).

I live in Texas. We want to meet in person so my original plan is to visit her in January, then file K-1 immediately upon return. Or should we marry there? Or just what is best? I am a newbie and did not even know of the Tourist Visa Cr-1 option until today. She is graduating from nursing school this year. opinions and advice much appreciated.

Peace