Arazia

Just a quick update on things...

Still no word on our application.

But... you all remember the emotional abuse storm we were expecting to come down from Harry's parents when they found out about our plans? And we were so surprised they seemed to accept things? Well... it seems that was the calm before the storm. He is now the 'scapegoat' for everything wrong with the family. He was blamed for his sister getting a tongue ring. His father is claiming that he is doing all of this on purpose to drive the family into the ground.

So... things kind of suck at the moment.

With that early of an NOA1 date, you should be able to get some answers from USCIS. You are well beyond their processing times. If that fails, contact your senators and such. At least that would be my suggestion.

*huggles* Best wishes.

I'd just like to see USCIS get off their rears and do another big rush of approvals like we saw in early October. In any case, I wish the best of luck to everyone in September who is still waiting.

Congrats. Another fast approval out of Vermont.

*jumps in the same boat*

If I have to choose a type of mustard, yellow or honey mustard is the best for me. The rest is gross.

I don't use a lot of mayo, but I certainly like mayo with my fries and have since someone suggested it way back when. I think it was my brother when he came back from Europe. When I first visited Harry in the Netherlands, I think he was surprised to see me eat them that way, and now my friends here look at me and say 'You really have turned European haven't you?' ... No? I always ate them that way.

My eyes are Hazel (can change due to light conditions from more greenish to more brownish). My beloved's eyes are gray/blue, although I don't have any particular preference on my mate's eyecolor.

I got the job I have solely because of my degree from the college I graduated from. I have used a good chunk of what I learned, but I also found out quick that I was woefully deficient in hands on experience. Learned a lot in the first few years.

I have internet at work, so I am almost always 'somewhere' on the net through my work connection (at least 8 hours) then I go home and talk to my fiancee' which takes up at least another hour or two afterwards.

So, I guess I have no life.

If I have to, yes? Our bathrooms are cleaned twice a day and have those paper cover things you can use over the seat for people who might be concerned about how sanitary things are.

Congrats.

It's good to see such a nice person getting their approval. =)

Just a quick update to set some folk's minds at ease:

- Still no sign of that elusive NOA2. Some people with NOA1 dates the same as ours have gotten approvals so I'm hopeful. Even if we're one of those applications that got lost behind a toilet somewhere, it's okay. The waiting doesn't bother me all that much right now, as I have the holidays to look forward to.

- Harry tried for two days to talk to his parents. The first time they said they were going to bed and couldn't talk. The second time his father was angry about work or something and just marched to his room. So he sent them an e-mail explaining that he was planning on coming to the United States and marrying me, and that he'd like to talk it over with them. I guess sometime this morning they had their talk, and contrary to what both of us expected, it went fairly smoothly. There was no yelling, no tantrums, no hitting. They think he's an idiot, of course, but they aren't going to try to stop him. His father even said they had been expecting it, although not this early.

- A cousin of mine had a strange kind of cancer about seven years ago. She had a tumor in her arm, but the type of cancer was inconsistant with that location. If I remember correctly, it was a type of lung cancer... in her arm. Well, the tumor was removed, she went through a series of radiation treatments and scans and was cancer free for seven years. About a month ago, during a regular check up, the doctor found a strange spot on her arm. It is another cancerous tumor, skin cancer this time (if I recall correctly). She is going in on the 19th to have it removed. She seems to be taking it okay, but it has to be tough to have considered her battle with cancer over, only to have it come up again. I just hope things go okay with the surgery. She's one of my favorite relatives and I hate that bad things keep happening to her.

So, I'm going to go back to quietly waiting for approval, getting ready for Harry's visit and preping for the holidays. Best wishes to everyone else still moving through the system.

Yesterday and today!

Wow, I hope you get good news soon Dean. You've been waiting long enough.

No touches for me yet. Not since my check was cashed. Oh wells.

They can easily be grown synthetically for industry.

I'll agree with that. Although I'm not sure (as I'm by far not an expert) which costs more... mining them in slave-labor conditions or producing them synthetically.

Still, people are like racoons. They want shiney stuff, and whomever has the most shinies gets to be top fluffball.

Then again, I've never been a big jewelry nut... my ring is one of the only pieces of 'real' jewelry I have (other than one gold necklace and a string of pearls from my sweet-sixteen I've never worn).

My diamond ring is a family heirloom.

And even if everyone stopped buying diamonds for jewelry, they'd still be mined for industrial purposes.

This comic is courtosy of my friend Shinga who writes Headtrip Comics. It amuses me terribly and I thought I would share since... well those who have watched the show would get it.

I've read over the actual document (found here) and it really doesn't seem as nefarious as everyone is making it out to be.

Essentially, they used to be required to submit a manifest of passengers by 15 minutes after departure time. Now they are required to submit it 30 minutes prior to departure time. If a passenger somehow triggers security checks, then they'll be pulled from the flight. Specifically, look at page 37 and 38 of the document, that's where it discusses this stuff.

Hi Arazia & Ranmaru,

In the first place; I was NOT shouting OK?

If I was, my reply should have been COMPLETELY IN CAPITAL FONT!

Maybe I should have “formulated” my questions a bit different, I don’t know?!?!?

What I DO know is; that there was no harm intended, just curiosity!

We’re all here for support in these tough times, not to make everyone’s life miserable!

There are a couple things you have to consider when YOU post personal related info on a World Wide Website though!

(1) As soon as YOU post a message / personal related info on a PUBLIC website you open your self up for questions. Or in other words; don’t post if the replies are not what you WANT them to be!

(2) 100.000’s of people who read your posts are going to form an opinion about the posts YOU posted. Some people or replies will ask questions and others just don’t bother!

All I did with my previous post was; I formed an “opinion” and “questions” based on the info you yourself-Arazia provided to this website!

And BEFORE you say it“I know, I know, opinions are just like a$$holes everyone has got one”!

But all the info you yourself-Arazia provided on this website,…just didn’t make much sense to me, that is what my previous post was about; “clarification”!

Bottomline;

My previous post was NOT intended to attack / to harm you and/or your boyfriend!!!

It was intended for you to clarify your confusing posts, that’s all there is/was to it!

You and your boyfriend “Ranmaru” just clarified most of the “confusing” bits! Thank you for that!

Sorry that you are in THAT difficult situation Harry!

Hope everything will turn out perfectly OK for all of you guys!

And eh Ranmaru

Welcome to VJ!

Regards Mark.

PS;

I am NOT a “flamewar” person,…hell I’m hardly ever on here, but be warned there are some true “flamewar-experts” here on VJ!!!

Those "FlameWar-Expert Explanation-Clicky" can really “take you down” when you open yourself up for it!

Or in other words; Beware with what YOU post on here & be crystal clear plz! (it will prevent all of this!)

Heavy use of !?!? bolding, caps, etc can come off as shouting. Using all capital letters is not the only way of showing shouting on the internet. Perhaps you could be more careful in your use, and when you are asking clarifying questions, you could avoid using !?!?!?!?!, bolds, underlines, caps, etc. That would keep it from coming off as if you were shouuting.

As for posting on the internet, I am well aware of such things. Unfortunately, your 'opinions' do not seem to take into consideration all of the information we have posted in this thread. Much of our 'clarification' is just repeats of things I've said or posted before when telling about our story.

Perhaps the best thing would be simply to discontinue talking about any of the personal side of things. I had originally come here posting about that because I am not all that familiar with Dutch family structure or if some of the things going on in Harry's family were 'normal' or not. The conclusion I've come to is that it's not normal. We are not involved in a normal family situation. Thus not all the 'normal' modes of behavior apply when dealing with the situation.

With that said...

Harry knows quite well that I expect him to tell his parents the next time his father is home. As I have said in previous posts... it will be made known to them before we have our interview for the visa. I am an adult, as is Harry. I fully expect him to act like an adult and deal with his parents without my intervention. I was only posting here looking for some support because I was worried about the situation.

Anyways, I'm going to go back to quietly waiting for news on my application.

-Arazia,

I cant help BUT wonder “WHY” Harry hasn’t told his parents ANYTHING about YOU?!?!?

I mean, its usually hard to miss when someone is “IN-LOOOVE”,…especially parents will KNOW without saying one word about it to them!

What is Harry going to do, when the VISA finally comes through???

Is he just going to LEAVE without informing his parents???

Cuz THAT ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^could cause some serious problems-think about law enforcement & his parents!

Maybe he got bad parents, or he cant really get along with them,...which is OK,….everyone has probs with their parents every now and again.

But NO PARENT deserves to be left; “NOT KNOWING” anything, especially NOT when he’s LEAVING PERMANTLY!

They might think something BAD happened to him – like kidnapping for example!

Don’t you think YOU should start PUSHING Harry “alittle bit” in telling the STORY of both of you to his parents???

Or if Harry refuses to say anything to his parents,…then WHY don’t YOU TAKE CONTROL and CALL THEM UP???

His parents have the RIGHT to KNOW, what he’s about to do!

Have ya ever thought that his parents might WANT TO BE THERE when you and him get MARRIED???

Well,……don’t they DESERVE the RIGHT to KNOW then???

Lots and lots of questions,………….sorry about that!

The whole situation with Harry and his parents just DOESN’T seem right to me, at all!!

I think you might be alittle bit confused.

Harry's parents know about me. They have met me before. They know we are in a relationship with one another. They don't really like the fact that we are in a relationship together, but they know that much at least. They picked me up from the airport, I spent two and a half weeks with their family, and they dropped him off for his visit and picked him up this summer.

The only thing that they do not know is that we are planning to get married. He plans on telling them, but is waiting until both of his parents are home to do so. His father travels a great deal and hasn't really been home much. There is also a certain, understandable, level of fear involved. His mother has made threats to kick him from the house and his father has threatened to divorce the entire family because he can't deal with his children. I think he is seriously afraid his decision could effect more than just himself.

As for his parents 'rights'... They really don't have any 'right' to know. It would be nice, and it would be proper, but being a parent does not give a person a right to know everything that goes on in the life of their adult children. He will tell them before the visa interview, and they will be invited to the wedding (although I seriously doubt they will attend). I do not believe it is my place to go over Harry's head and talk to them about this. He is a grown man and can do it himself. I believe he -will- do it the next time his parents are home, because this has been bothering him, too.

I think you are jumping to conclusions, and making some baseless asumptions.

I'll admit to checking and hoping for touches. But knowing the holiday week, I'm not really expecting much movement to come until next week.

Congratulations on your approval. I hope things keep going fast for you.

As for the 'drama' in the thread... for gods sakes give it a rest. This is at least the second, if not third time I've heard this spheel.

So... religion kills people. Atheism kills people. Everything inbetween kills people.

Oh nos, maybe we should just ban humanity, then there won't be any more senseless killing.

Oh wait, the animals would still kill each other after we're gone. Should ban them too. Ayup.

Merf.

I believe they should be allowed to marry or at the very least have civil unions. My uncles have been together for twenty years now. That's longer than a lot of married people. They're allowed to claim each other on health insurance in the state they live in, which helped a lot last year when my non-related uncle had heart trouble had had to have serious surgery. He hasn't been able to work since and it helps them cover the bills.

I love my uncles, regardless of their sexual practices. They are family.