Alhamdulillah

Well honey just give it right back to him that you're not going to live like that! Stand up for yourself and say, "This is my house, I am an American, things are different here, I get to do and say what I want pretty much and I'm not going to have my freedoms impeded on, I'm going to share my life with you and that doesn't mean you get control what I do or what I say because I can't live like that."

You most certainly did in the first place. But as we've learned it's not uncommon for mena males and females not to take responsibility for anything they did.

I see, me observing that some people were looking for trouble when there wasn't any was egg slinging.

Why am I not surprised by your comment about MENA people and your attitude?

I'll let you think about that one yourself.

I was born, raised, educated, and continue to live in the U.S. My household was more American and Christian influenced than Iranian and Muslim influenced because my parents moved here as teenagers. If anything, my behavior is more indicative of my American upbringing than my Iranian heritage. Imagine that. I'm just as American as you are, sister, but without the arrogance.

First , you are very arrogant yourself. Second, stop insulting the people of this country and our personalities. I have met tons of Iranians here and they suffer from many of the same things Americans that are native to this country suffer from. Materialism, greed, cultural differences between parents and kids etc.

Sunni Islam and its practicioners practice a very very different islam from Shia ( Iranians) Your religion allows muta, marriage for one hour or one day or one week. The culture can be very different from some of our mena husbands( Iranian culture) I will tell you right now, You being being Iranian doesn't mean a damn thing to me as far as credibility or me listening to you or you telling me "how mena culture is or isnt" You are not even from the same ethnicity or religion or lifestyle as my husband . How you could come on here proclaiming any kind of expertise in MENA or arabs is beyond me because Farsi has no relationship with arabic and sunni islam has ABSOLUTELY no similarity with Shia in lifestyle, marriage or practice. If someone in Iran wants to marry, they can marry for 2 weeks and its completely ok.

Sunnis are alot more restricted in their lifestyle. If I was married to someone who could marry a hooker 3 blocks away, not tell me about it and then divorce her and then get another and then marry again and again all LEGALLY IN shia islam, I sure wouldnt worry about infidelity.

( this is ABSOLUTELY NOT A DIG TO THE SISTERS MARRIED TO IRANIANS HERE>.. Its to make a point to this nitwit. You dont see any of the women married to Iranians trying to tell me about the lifestyle or culture of my husband because they know there are huge differences..... Iranian men can muta and legally and easily. Sunni men are bound by a heck of alot of laws that makes swapping out chicks pretty easy and legally.

I just find you to be on here to show everyone YOUR ARROGANCE,,, not to provide support and care for the rest of us..

And frankly I need it from my friends here..

The prophet sal allahu alayhi wa salaam allowed muta marriages in his lifetime and it was only after his death that it was disallowed by the sahaba so I don't appreciate you taking a dig at this practice. I may not believe it's allowed today but I also don't go around bashing practices that the prophet sal allahu alayhi wa salaam himself allowed. Also, when a sunni man marries a woman, he's under no obligation to remain married to her for any amount of time and is free to divorce and remarry as many times as he pleases in his lifetime. As long as the contract doesn't state that it's for a temporary time then he's done nothing wrong.

Furthermore, shi'ism is a religion and one that other muslims on this board (not just Iranians) practice, whether you, I or others agree with it or not and in the same way that it's distasteful, disrespectful and rude to post links to faithfreedom.org or other hateful sites that attack Islam and muslims or to post attacks against other religious groups, this post is no different.

Sorry, I won't take it back.....I think he is nice. We are entitled to our opinions, however.

I'm with you on this one Nags! Did you see the evil donuts?

Me too and I don't think what he said was completely wrong either. Suspicion can ruin a marriage and drive a person crazy.

It's also not bad advice to take it easy and relax.....

There are several ahadith that say it's not allowed to keep a dog as a pet for other than hunting, herding or protection (and even then it's not allowed to sleep in the house where the ppl sleep); the dog's saliva is impure and anything it comes in contact with must be washed 7 times (and in another hadith, an eighth time with dirt) to be pure again; it's not allowed to buy or sell dogs (or cats) and angels don't enter a home with a dog (or pictures on display).

I don't understand how someone can convert to any religion for another person. That really doesn't make sense to me. Either you believe in that religion and personally feel connected to God through it or you don't..... religion is for God not for another person.

My husband's from Libya but had to go thru the embassy in Tunis. Maybe I can help?

Welcome back and welcome home to the hubby!

Anyone have plans for tonight or the weekend? I think I will move furniture around.

jJ

We will be busy packing and moving the rest of our stuff into storage and then loading the van up Monday to leave that night to be on our way to Houston. I think driving at night will be better because it won't be so hot and there won't be so many other ppl on the road.

is a swift kick in the rump considered a buddy? coz that is what i need to get me goin'

I'd be happy to kick you in the rump j/k but we ARE going to walk once I'm there. I won't be staying too far from you at the hotel and then hopefully we'll be able to get an apt close to you as well inshallah. There are some owned by a muslim man that's like across the street from you that are pretty cheap. Hubby's been getting all kinds of calls since he left on the bus to come in for interviews and we just found out about another job today that he might get inshallah so we'll be able to get out of the hotel before too long!

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raja'un

My prayers are with Hatem, may Allah heal Him and make this easier for him, ameen.

Right, but the issue is with the fact that the blood mixes in the gestational period..... that's probably what the shaykh will argue

If she's doing it for her husband and he's against it then it shouldn't be an issue. There's a lot of hasanat in adoption

I've seen the argument that a man's sperm shouldn't go into a woman unless she is his wife... and thus permitting a co-wife but not anyone else from doing surrogacy.

Yep that's another issue as well.

We used to have a system so I didn't have to wait in front of the computer for him to find a pc..... he'd just call me and tell me he's online then I'd sign on. We got tired of sitting in front of the PC too after a while.

His bus is running late so he's not home yet :sigh: so I just watched a documentary called "Hear and Now" and all I can say is Subhanallah! I wrote about it on my multiply page for those of you who want to read it there but I really recommend everyone watch this film! It was really awesome!

Well the Christian right is no worse than the Muslim radical right of Wahhabis, same difference. Both are causing problems for all of us.

Hey then stop the digs at Christian good ole boys, funny how it is ok to attack them but not the radical Wahhabi muslims, which by the way flew those planes into the USA as torpedoes and killed innocent Americans and other muslims, lest you forget, so you can stop the jabs and digs at Christians!

Are you sure you're angry at the right person? Olivia didn't write those "good ole boy" comments...

Salafis (not wahabis) aren't doing anything to you or anyone else..... we don't care about you nor do you affect us at all in our day to day lives. Salafis are some of the harshest prosecuters of "muslim" terrorists in the world. You should thank salafis for all their help in fighting terrorism daily.

BTW, several of the men who "flew the planes in the USA as torpedoes" are alive and well in their countries of origin.... but I know ppl like you hate to let facts get in the way of your ignorant opinions

So, if the host mother's blood does not affect the child, does that mean if she has some disease (like AIDS) it can't pass to the child during the time it's in her womb?

I see. The mixing of the the hosts blood during the gestation period is the issue. To this the medical professional would reply that surrogate mothers are screened throughly before beginning any such process to insure the complete babies health. Once born the blood and or the genetic material of the surrogate mother does not affect the child.

Right, but the issue is with the fact that the blood mixes in the gestational period..... that's probably what the shaykh will argue

If she's doing it for her husband and he's against it then it shouldn't be an issue. There's a lot of hasanat in adoption

So, if the host mother's blood does not affect the child, does that mean if she has some disease (like AIDS) it can't pass to the child during the time it's in her womb?

Only 12 more hours and my hubby will be home This has been the longest two weeks of my life! You wait for someone for like a year and a half and then when you finally have them with you it's torture when they aren't there again!

This is me right now trying to figure out what to wear when he's home!

I hope everyone has a great day!

For those of you still waiting on your hubbies visas, just say

And leave it to Allah! Inshallah you'll be reunited soon!

I think I've seen these two fighting here in the VJ threads

Jealous girls are worse though!! Usually of shaytan. This girl from my university saw my husband and always looks at him when we walk by hand in hand in downtown next to school and he didn't know she liked him. Today she asked me who he was and how long we been together and I said "we been together for couple of days now" and she says ohh ok I was just making sure cause I remember dancing with him at my party 2 months ago! But don't tell him bc I was drunk and might have done something. Wow I didn't know he could come and go thru USA and Algeria like that I told my spouse he was so angry and asked what she looked like so he could slap her and talk to her parents. Yeah as much as I'd like that it doesn't work like that here.

Daaaaaang that's triflin...and many other adjectives. That's funny you guys hold hands, my husband and I never touch each other in front of people over here, and I think he'll still be like that in the States even if he sees people all up on each other, because that's just the way he is. I had to warn him about my family members so that they don't catch him off guard lol. His family is very *shy*. If I knew a girl liked my husband, I'd keep HIM locked up in the house and make him wear hijab! Because like I said, chicks can be triflin...and don't forget that there's nothing that a shaytan loves more than to cause problems between a husband and wife, so let's keep our wits about us.

LOL If I try to let go of my hubby's hand when we're out he'll freak out On our honeymoon in Cairo, I had to tell him to stop pulling me because he's a lot taller than me and walks faster than me.... I found myself almost being dragged down the street until I got a backbone and told him "Look man! You're pulling me!!! I'm gonna fall!! Either let go or slooooooooooooow down " He was like why didn't u just tell me? So now he walks slowly so I can keep up and he doesn't have to release the hand. But we don't kiss or anything like that in public ewww lol

As far as women... YES women can be beyond trifling, especially the hoe doggies around here. They don't care if a man's married or anything. It's like a freaking challenge for them!

That's horrible 18 years of a loveless marriage I can't imagine that life.

Alhamdulilah - People get divorced yes I'm not talking about that. Just think about your own kids if you have them. Look through their viewpoint in life of their father. It's not her responsibility to take care of his kids but she is honestly concerned.

The situation make sense now though since he doesn't get to see them alot anyways while he IS there. I can see why it's easy to leave then.

I do have children and their father nevers sees them, calls them or offers any help in supporting them so I do know how that feels. I also know what it's like to have divorced parents and not to see one's father because of living with my mom..... but I wouldn't think it was fair to say that my dad was bad or couldn't be happy again with another woman because he didn't live with my mom anymore. I guess I just mis-read what you wrote.

I don't want to shed a negative opinion/view here but I'm thinking If he can leave a 6 year old behind and kids at an age who need a father what more importance could he give to a wife? I do wish you and your spouse a happy outcome no matter what. God bless.

Ppl get divorced.... what's a man to do then if he's divorced from his wife? Never marry another woman or live in his ex-wife's basement so he isn't perceived as "leaving" his children?

umm i think in my culture there's no diff in jealousy and protective. women and men both are equally jealous and protective over their spouses like younger couples vs the older couples who have obtained a stable relationship.

When guys try to talk to me here in USA I'm like I'm married and they said so?? You can't be my friend? I'm like no we don't do things like that after marriage - rarely before marriage. And they're like oh you're in an abusive relationship does he beat you? etc.. I can't stand stupid people like that. I guess being faithful/clean to each other is abusive or "wayyy protective and controling" here.

Yes, jealousy is strongly discouraged here.... after all, if spouses are jealous over each other then the other ppl who are trying to kill that jealousy have no chance of sleeping with either of them And that really is all the culture is here... who can do who and how often

Yes I'm reviving an old thread but I just wanted to let everyone know.... in case anyone else is as concerned as I am that this site rapleaf, gives out your REAL name when someone searches for your email if you use it on any of your sites like multiply, facebook or myspace (even if you have your info private on those sites!!)..... you can search for your own email address and then "claim this profile" and mark all that info private. Then when someone else searches for your email address it won't tell them any other site that your on, your age, your name or your location.

How's everyone today? We're busy packing and cleaning! My hubby's on his way home on the bus now!!!! Last time I talked to him he was coming up on LA and should be in GA by 6 ish. He should be here tomorrow at 12pm (ish) and I can't WAIT!!!!!

He's been in TX for two weeks and been applying for jobs right and left and no one called him at all until when? TODAY while he's on the bus coming back here He's been bombarded with calls this morning/afternoon, since he stepped on the bus, with ppl wanting him to come in for interviews Go figure!!! So I think we're going to be heading back down there as soon as we can get all this stuff in storage and cleaned up so he can go for those interviews!

somebody should have introduced the concept of "grounding your child" to this couple..

poor kid.. i can only imagine what he was thinking/feeling during his "punishment"

Actually, this couple should be chained to a flagpole during a thunderstorm (since you opened the subject of "grounding"....)

I was thinking they should be subjected to the exact same type of punishment as they inflicted on their child....

I'm confused - too many #s in that article. Is gas going up, down or staying the same? And what does that have to do with a King?

LOL basically, that king is saying there's no need to increase production of oil because western govts are just hiking up the prices to screw with us but he eventually gave in and bowed to their will because ..... well the west thinks it's god and everyone has to do their bidding, and if that doesn't happen they spread their sh*t all over the world until they get their way. Gas prices will enevitably go up but not because of that king.