So fickle

Just a few points: When it comes to drugs I have little tolerance, even with pot. Though this is an opinion that is fast going out of fashion, and my libertarian sensibilities acknowledge that when it comes to this plant, it may well fall under the domain of a freedom issue. Studies have shown that pot can have a real helpful affect in medicine for those who are very ill, and we should be studying it more to see if it has even greater health benefits. Consider for a moment the one item that many people use daily in this country and others legally, which is known to cause the following: cancer, disease, and death, raises healthcare costs for everyone, causes cancer and diseases in adults, children, and animals who may be incidentally exposed to it, and is absolutely addicting. That item is tobacco. A legal product which everyone acknowledges is extremely harmful to all who use or may be exposed to it and is addicting to boot. It offers no health benefits, but certainly does make a lot of people, a lot of money... but it's ultimate cost is truly harmful. If I look at pot on one hand and tobacco on the other, I know which I'd be more ready to legalize and point out the hypocrisy with.

As for the homeless, I often find, from personal observation that the UK can treat the homeless appallingly and sometimes nearly as less than human. The real and truly homeless (not begging pretenders/cons) are in desperate need for help, and though there are many charitable organizations and food banks, we simply do not do enough to assist. Economic conditions in the UK is increasing the strain on these services. The homeless poor do not deserve to be 'hidden' and 'unseen', so that the public don't have to think about it. That attitude is quite different here, where the homeless are often everywhere, and officers normally only approach them, if they are harassing or breaking the law, not because of where they choose to sleep or get warm. While it can be upsetting to witness someone living in such conditions, we must acknowledge it exists and it is increasing due to the rising number of the mentally ill, poverty, and the heroin epidemic.

hmmm... interesting to read your comments about pot... i too have heard that it has some therapeutic/medicinal uses. There is this tragic case I read about though where a man who was high on medical marijuana struck and killed a state trooper http://www.masslive.com/news/worcester/index.ssf/2016/12/10_things_to_know_about_the_ca.html#0

Lol thats so true about tobacco, its a money minting business... I happen to think tobacco manufacturers do put those addictive substances so as to get people hooked onto smoking. I used to work with this guy that would smoke no less than 10 sticks a day... its really an expensive habit as for starters cigarettes are expensive (http://www.salon.com/2016/11/14/california-undermines-big-tobacco-raising-the-cigarette-tax-by-2-in-the-state/) and secondly as you rightly mentioned they cause cancer or terminal illness, so you end up raking high hospital bills.

As for homelessness I can see why it cannot be fully tackled - its very costly. Here in California people voted yes to Proposition HHH which will raise $1.2 billion to erect 7000 units of permanent housing for the homeless, however the number of homeless is in the 40 thousand so even this proposition wont fully solve the problem. Its interesting the distinction you have made about genuine homeless (i.e those with absolutely nothing) as i do come across people who sleep in their cars as well and these would be classed as homeless as well as they have no fixed abode. Its really depressing to see this because at the same time there is lots of deserted buildings which could be converted into homeless shelters but still the state insists on constructing new units at a high cost...i guess this why i am so puzzled by the way the system operates here in America.

Also i reckon there is an increasing number of homeless people who are ex convicts or have served time in prison and cannot get work because lots of employers do background checks

in regards to the UK, I know the London council had started relocating some people on benefits to other cities like birmingham, manchester etc because rent prices were cheaper there. Its not ideal but it helped reduce the council's spending per head and therefore enable them to serve more people. The problem with UK is that people take advantage of the system because i know this one person who actually quit their new job within the first week as they were receiving more in benefits whilst unemployed than when employed.

I keep getting suspended because when you give people a answer they don't like they attack you and when you defend yourself you get suspended

I'm the queen of being suspensions my latest suspension was 21 days I think

Thats exactly the same thing keeps happening to me. Its like there is a clique of people who conspire to suspend accounts that are in alignment with their world view of things...

But i gotta take my hat to you as 21 days is a damn long time, my suspensions usually last 2 days... you must have really touched a raw nerve to get that prolonged suspension.

What even determines the period your suspension will last for?

f f,

Thats true about conversion. I find it confusing sometimes when I go to a supermarket and pick up a bottle of soda and look at the label and it reads 20 Fl Oz which equals 591ml whilst in Europe and other parts of the world a similar bottle would be 500ml which is approximately 17 Fl Oz

A'n'L very analytical response. Geographical placement is definitely a factor as America is quite some distance from Europe.

Hi yuna628,

I appreciate you responding to each question.

- I especially like your answer to number one. I think America is a beautiful country, it just takes time to get used to it.

- Lol... you are probably right about number 2,

- I agree with you on number 3. Sound advise

- Congrats on winning some money on scratch off... Do you play set for life or another scratch and win game?

- hmmm.. interesting answer but am curious why don't people get along in real life

- wow. eye opening article. so initially people were driving on the left for defensive purposes i.e. so they can easily wield a weapon in case they run into an enemy

- i am starting to see that America has a distinct identity. At first it felt peculiar but am gradually getting to get accustom to the American way.

- thats news to me dint know that the term "soccer" emanated from Britain... you sure do your homework. impressive stuff! I think also maybe Americans call it soccer so as to distinguish it from American football. Also i notice you have baseball but the rest of the world has cricket... would like to see America play cricket against other countries.

- oh dear! am worried... i am kind of conservative and concerned that if this trend continues then it will open the door for other things to become legalised like drugs etc etc

- You have a point there, i am starting to see that LA is permissive to alot of things... Would I be right to regard it as more of the exception rather than the norm?

- you have collaborated what i have heard from various people about what causes homeless in particular I have heard from different sources that post traumatic stress disorder is a major contributor to homelessness. I have seen homeless people in the UK but what i find different in America (or in LA for that matter) is that the police do not mind them... when i was in birmingham UK i would see police officers having a word with them and they would actually ask them to leave maybe thats why i dnt come across homeless people as often as I do here

- that makes sense. thanks for explaining it to me.

- i begrudgingly agree. life is unfair but hey it has to go on.

Thank you one again yuna628 for taking the time to address every question. I am truly grateful for your answers... Have a merry christmas and good luck with the lotto.

The last few days I have been pondering a couple of things:

- should i move to another state or should i leave America all together,

- why does my visa journey account keep getting suspended,

- should i start a family,

- should i play the mega millions or powerball lottery to diversify my income streams

- why don't people just get along,

- why are American cars Left hand drive,

- why do Americans have different units of measurement... i.e. fluid ounces instead of litres/ml; pounds instead of kilogram; miles instead of kilometers; fahrenheit instead of celsius;

- why do Americans call football soccer and American football football when they dont play the ball using their feet

- why did people vote in favor of proposition 64 and legalize marijuana in california for "recreational" purposes

- why is LA so unconventional in that they have san fernando valley where adult movies are made

- why do people become homeless

- why do hospitals sometimes place banners in buses stating that they are looking for alcoholics, smokers, people suffering from depression, etc for a paid medical experiment. Why they don't ask for normal people to experiment on

- why is china super league paying people like Carlos Tevez £615,000 a week in wages... yet there is people in Africa earning under $1 a day.

Just some thoughts for the mind. Merry Christmas!!!

Hi mimolicious, reading about your husband's experience makes me appreciate the difficulty of settling in america and makes me feel like am fickle. Wow up until now I dint know some people have had a rougher time than me and I truly salute your husband for his work ethic. I truly wish I could be like that. Hmmm based on what you have told me i might have to ponder my decision because I honestly felt like I was suffering alone... I honesty dint know other people been through worse. And no not at all you are not harsh you have just kicked some sense into me. I appreciate that

AM268. wise choice of words & I appreciate what you are trying to say but I believe in order to succeed one has to have passion and what I have been put through has subdued my passion. I feel like am just surviving rather than advancing myself. Maybe things might look up but right now I have lost the will to stay here. Things are not easy back home and i should have persevered through the hardship back home rather than seek an easy wayout by coming to america. I think I have learnt my lesson

Yeah I was. I had gotten an email invite to apply for a job in Arizona. I applied, did an online assessment then the phone interview and received a phone call after 30 minutes of doing the interview telling me i was successful and to complete an onboarding form online. i did and missed a call from another recruiter with the same company who left a voicemail saying they have an offer for me. I rang back then she said she will call me back same day. but nothing so i called back and she said she will talk to me today. waited but no call no email. I am just feeling like everything is going awry... am casting my net wide seeking opportunites but things are not going according to plan that's why I am feeling like things are not in my control.

Hi sabellic and wheresmykoala. thank you for your encouraging words. I surely hope to find my happiness wherever it lies. sometimes things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right

Hi Suss&Camm,

Its a combination of many things. But in short I am feeling short changed by people. My employer last employer sent me my cheque via post a week late and for a fifth of the amount I was expecting. I had applied for a new job (spent 10 minutes completing an online application, another 30 minutes completing the online assessment then another 20 minutes doing a telephone interview and after passing all these stages I got a voicemail from the recruiter telling me they have an offer for me and to call them I called her and she tells me she is busy and will call me I waited but nothing so I called back like five times and even sent two emails and she keeps promising to call me back the same day but its been two days and no word. I feel like everything is going wrong for me. My savings are stretched thin and I can't take this anymore. Maybe its racism or maybe its people being put off by my accent or I dont know i can't put my finger on it

Thank you Michael and Ganna for your heart warming words. All the best to you as well.

Thanks Ebunoluwa for your kind words. That is true. Maybe I will find my happiness and destiny somewhere else, somwewhere where I never thought it would be.

I never would have imagined a couple of months ago that I would be sat infront of my computer composing this post as I did not expect to go through the things I have gone through so far whilst here in america. I guess sometimes life throws you a curveball because its trying to direct you to your true destiny which lies somewhere else other than were you thought it would be.

There is this song I like called "flying without wings" by westlife which goes like this "...everybody's looking for that something / One thing that makes it all complete / You find it in the strangest places / Places you never knew it could be..." that particularly rings true in my case.

Deep down in my heart I feel I wanna stay but sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve, and as an old wise man once told me... "Never burn bridges except where there is a real risk to compromise your integrity! Shutting doors is better... you can always re-open them."

So goodbye america maybe someday i will be back.

Hi Jennie & Awal,

Thank you for your kind words and your offer of friendship. I am touched as its not often that people offer me this.

Congrats to you and your hubbie (husband) on getting married and I wish you all the best in your future life

I think your husband will have a different experience from me as you will be hosting him. I am in America by myself and do not have anyone hosting me so my point of view will vary from most.

You mentioned you live in stockton california which I presume is in northern california. It seems like a nice city judging from google images. I am sure your husband will love it there as compared to Africa there are alot of social amenities in california that one cannot enjoy in Africa & this is why I persist with staying in usa inspite of the negative experiences I have had.

Thank you for complimenting my accent - its made my day. You seem like a nice person and I wish most people in LA were like that.

Hello EmilyW,

I mentioned earlier that depending on a person's race, income and perception of things their experiences will vary. I am not sure which part of the UK your husband comes from but I am shocked by what you have said. Even in America such type of negative attitudes exist (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=96577). I think you have let your experience with one family cloud your judgement of the UK. There are families that are open to interracial marriages, I know this for a fact because I attended a wedding between a white British lady and a Nigerian man and both families were very delighted at the ceremony.

You mention I should go live in England, actually i would if the opportunity presented itself.

Even though I dint have 100% positive experiences in the UK, it was definitely a much nicer place to live in than here in the LA

Hi ZoeUK1989, its so depressing to read about those four unpleasant experiences with the NHS. I am genuinely shocked to hear such horror stories happening in the UK. I know words alone cannot heal the psychological and physical wounds occasioned by this negligence and incompetence by the NHS but I hope that your mum has now recovered and gotten back on her feet again. I love my parents dearly and it would crush me if they underwent such a horrible experience

I am from Kenya and ironically people in Kenya regard UK hospitals very highly as 99% of wealthy people from Kenya who suffer from serious illnesses go to UK for treatment (the former first lady, a former vice president went to UK to be operated on and I know they paid through the roof (sorry I mean we the taxpayers paid through the roof for their hospital bills). I know a mate of mine whose mum also went to the UK to be operated on and given her husband is a doctor I can imagine the decision to have her get operated on in the UK was a professionally informed one.

I probably shouldn’t say this but this one time I got naughty while in coventry and drunk so much that I passed out on a multi level parking lot … some good samaritan must have called an ambulance for me as the next thing I know I woke up at the NHS university hospital in coventry/warwickshire… I had a good experience with them… they told me I had to spend the night in hospital as they could not risk discharging me as I was too intoxicated plus the nurses were really courteous and pleasant and that’s why I assumed that all NHS hospitals are nice. I know back home in Kenya if I passed out in the streets my wallet, phone will disappear instantly and I would be left there for dead. I also kinda get the feeling that the same thing would happen to me here in LA as I have seen plenty times people lying on the streets motionless and people just walk past them.

The thing about LA is that latinos are NOT a minority… the border between USA and mexico is in california after all so most latinos sneak in through california… I can’t say that ALL latinos are racist as I have worked with some nice ones (1 out of 5) and even the church I go to every sunday is predominantly latino and I sit amongst them… but there are those who are not nice…

I reckon they discriminate against me because of my accent… i don’t have an american accent nor a posh British accent so people just think I am a primitive African or something (I don’t mean to demean myself by those choice of adjectives)... I also feel like black americans discriminate against me because of this.

Secondly, latinos have this sense of entitlement... they consider themselves white (they have light skin and straight hair) and therefore have a superficial notion of superiority based on this.

Thirdly, i think they have been indoctrinated by the American system to look down on black people… if I am being honest the highest proportion of homeless people in LA are black and so other races might have a low opinion of black people because of this.

If i can explain it in the context of the UK… if you offered majority of white people the choice to either hang out with a black person or a pakistani/asian they would probably opt to hang out with the pakistani/asian I know this because sometimes when i got on a bus you could sometimes see people avoided to sit next to me and instead take a seat next to a pakistani/asian person. Now I am not somebody who stinks or who has dreadlocks or dresses in an inappropriate way. I dress formally but still people still undermine me because of my skin color.

Fourthly, its all to do with being territorial, since latinos are in the majority here in LA they want to impose their will on other races just to exert influence and show who is boss.

Lastly, I think they discriminate against black people because it gives them a sense of superiority and pride (to explain this let me give the example of apartheid in south africa - the whites in south africa segregated people according to three classes: first the white, second the colored which is asians and mixed race and then thirdly the blacks… so for example if a white person died they would be buried in a different mortuary from a colored person or a black person. Also when it comes to obtaining public services white people would be prioritized first then coloreds then blacks) I feel that its kind of the same here in America, there is an informal class system like that of apartheid south africa and this makes latinos look down on black people because they are higher than them in the pecking order. i don’t know if it makes sense

I don’t know if you have ever watched the tv show “come dine with me” for me its my favorite show because it encapsulates what people in the UK are like… its a country of different, quirky and lively characters - and even though sometimes the contestants on the show don’t get along they still take a piss out of each other so it makes life all the more bearable, here in America people are just dull and structured… focused on paying bills so work two or three jobs and have no social life at all…

I am delighted that everyone reckons that moving out of LA is a good idea, it eliminates any doubts or regrets that I may have.

I reckon that different cities have different traits or personalities and it would be a wise thing for me to travel around and get to experience different cities and cultures before concluding that America is not for me.

@Jennie & Awal you are probably right I am homesick… i guess what I miss about my home country and places like South Africa and the UK is that its convenient to get around and they are also adaptable places to live in unlike America where people are set in their ways and its a very regulated country (i.e. a very standardized way of doing things and too many technicalities) as an example when I went to the UK I visited a jobcentre plus which is the equivalent of a social security office and received a letter with my National Insurance number the same day… here in America I walked into a social security office and I was told that I had to wait for 30 days to apply for my social security number… Also as a permanent citizen if you change address you have to notify USCIS within 10 days, you cannot vote, you cannot apply for government jobs as you are not a citizen etc etc… all these rules mean that its easy to disqualify someone for a job or from an opportunity because someone is likely to find a minor legal technicality to frustrate you

@DJ6372 I agree LA is a very odd city… its a city of sharp contrasts - there are some beautiful places like Santa Monica and Westwood Village but also some shabby looking places like Inglewood, Watts, Florence-Firestone etc etc… I suppose if I was fortunate enough to afford living in one of these posh neighborhoods such as Beverly Hills I would not be complaining about being in America… but nonetheless you would think with all the money the American government gives third world countries to fight poverty they should first sort out affairs back home as charity begins at home

By the way i googled Marina Del Ray and it looks very scenic and breath taking. I will definitely put it in my bucket list of places to visit

@ZoeUK1989 I agree UK weather is unpredictable and crappy - I used to use the weather as a nice ice breaker when having a conversation with a stranger.

I am shocked to learn about the deterioration of the NHS. I actually liked the NHS system as it provides healthcare for all and you do not have to take out compulsory healthcare insurance policies as is the case here in America (Obama care). I liked the fact that in the UK the National Insurance deductions made from your wages would go towards funding the NHS here in America uncle sam tries to get as much money as he can from your salary and you are still required to buy insurance in order to obtain healthcare.

I would say that it would be a safe bet to not assume that you will not enjoy protection here in America for being gay as not so long ago there was a mass shooting at an orlando gay club. Although not very common here in LA but hate crime does exist in America and its more prevalent than in the UK (check out Dylan Roof, Rodney King, Philando Castile)

I am actually having the same issue as your fiancé with regards to my qualifications. I studied in the UK but my qualifications are not recognized here and I have to have them translated by a foreign degree translation company. I guess if you studied at ivy league university like harvard, oxford, MIT then you don’t have to worry about your qualifications not been recognized

In regards to the service in stores, I actually have a different experience from you… I find that in America I get “tailgated” around by undercover security especially if I enter a store with a shopping bag from another store because they suspect that black people will shoplift… Also this one time I visited a DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) store in Torrance California and I was stopped as I was about to exit and asked to open my bag and I was asked for a receipt for the contents I was carrying in my bag even though I bought them at a different store. I NEVER experienced this once whilst in the UK…

Also I have noticed that stores/supermarkets/restaurants DO NOT include tax in the prices they display so when you at the checkout you end up paying more than the advertised price - I don’t really understand why they do this - its very deceptive and misleading

Also whilst am ranting about taxes, another thing I have noticed about employers in America is that they quite a number of them pay by cheque (check) and this take 3 days to clear if you bank it which means you can’t access your hard earned money immediately. I tend to cash my cheques to get money the same day at a check cashers but they charge COMMISSIONS so you end up receiving a lesser amount which makes you feel like your being robbed by the system. Actually I have come to a conclusion that the system here in the USA is an EXTORTIONIST system… the government is always trying to find ways to make you part with your hard earned money

I know this may be a controversial thing to say but I happen to think that the experiences people have can vary depending on a number of things - your race, your income, your perception to things i.e. you are either optimistic or pragmatic so you see a glass as either half full or half empty.

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You say Phoenix which is where i visit and intend to live once my K1 visa goes through.

I love Arizona and Phoenix in particular. It sounds like moving away from LA would definitely solve a lot of the issues you have but 1...

The homeless! Please don't think that you won't see them in Phoenix too, last time i travelled to visit my fiance we put put some bits and bobs together in bags and gave them to the homeless when we saw them. We also went in target and brought a homeless man that was outside some food including something sweet and something savoury, fruit and water (and a bottle of Gatorade if i remember correctly) He was so happy!

This is something you cannot escape i think when you are living in big cities.

I was blind to how much homeless we have here in the UK because i avoided London like the plague (this has a higher rate of homeless than where i am from), this immigration process forced me to London and i was heartbroken to see rich people stepping over the homeless, It was freezing and people are wrapped up outside shops on the floor with a sleeping bag and their dog, shivering trying to get warm and stay dry.

Sadly homelessness is everywhere but maybe when you move and get that job opportunity that you deserve maybe you can do some things to help them...

Good luck with your move if that is what you decide to do. Maybe see you around Phoenix one day you never know!

Thanks ZoeUK1989 for telling me about the situation in Phoenix with regards to homelessness and also for wishing me luck with my move to Phoenix

I am sorry for digressing a little but let me say that I can relate to your post because I have been to the UK - I was in brum (birmingham) for a couple of years and visited London a couple of times (using London midland and virgin pendolino trains from birmingham new street to London euston station and also took the National express coach from digbeth coach station to london victoria station. I liked how it was so easy to get around from one city to another ... here in America the fastest time you can get from LA to phoenix is 6 hours via plane

Out of curiosity why are you living such a lovely country such as the UK for America? If I had the choice I would choose UK anyday over America as the quality of life in UK is much better (very low gun crimes, people are more courteous than here in America and employee unions are strong so you have better work - life balance)

I like the way you said you were heartbroken to see the way people disregarded homeless people ... that's one thing I miss about UK - people are compassionate, here in America that compassion is lacking as people just ignore homeless people and pretend as though they don't notice them.

Anyways I apologize for getting carried away and writing a lengthy response but I am so delighted to speak to a Brit.

Touch wood everything will work out fine for you with your move to America.

After three months of living in America I am seriously reconsidering my decision to move here. I had high hopes and expectations when I was issued my immigrant visa after being one of the 50,000 people randomly selected in the DV visa lottery but my hopes have all been dashed after landing in America and here is the reason why:

- Homelessness: I live in LA and one thing that struck me was the number of homeless people in this city. If you go to downtown LA you will see quite a number of destitute people in tattered clothes and on San Julian/ 6th Street there is lots of people that live in tents pitched on the curbs of the road. The reason for this is that the cost of living is high and people cannot afford housing.

- Dead end jobs: I have been applying earnestly for bank teller positions, data entry positions, customer service positions but to no avail. The only thing I have only managed to secure a catering assistant/food service worker at a senior living facility.

- Protocol: The system here in America is very bureaucratic and you have to prepared for delays. For instance I was told that I had to wait for 30 days to elapse before I could apply for my social security card then once those thirty days had elapsed I had to wait another two weeks to receive my social security card. This delay made me miss out on a job opportunity. Another thing is that most employers conduct background checks and/or medical tests even for temporary positions. For example, I had a background check done on me and had to wait for a week for the results to come in yet the position was only for three days.

- Language barrier: If you are in LA spanish proficiency is very handy as most employers prefer bilingual candidates. People like me who speak with an accent are regarded as inferior.

- Discrimination: I had my first experience of discrimination when I was denied entry into a social security administration office by an american latino guard for petty reasons (because I was carrying a grocery store bag) yet I could see people inside with grocery store bags). I tried to protest but he called for back up (two fellow american latino guards) who had their hands on their holsters ready to pull out their guns. I decided to just leave the office but this incident I can relate with the black lives matter campaign because African males are victimised unfairly in some cases. Also I have noticed that sometimes in buses and trains people will seat on opposite chairs from you which kind of absurd.